Tag Archive | life lessons

Another Belated Rabbit Rabbit

anotherbelatedrabbitrabbit

Well my friends, it’s another belated Rabbit Rabbit post.  I have been so busy lately that I haven’t had time to tend to my blog, nor to check in on my sweet blogging friends.  I hope that all of you are doing well!  One of these days I will be able to have some time to catch up, but in the meantime, please know that I still am saying Rabbit Rabbit every first of the month and I hope you are too!

What I’ve learned recently (and I’ve known for quite some time) is that change is inevitable and it pushes us out of our comfort zones in ways in which we would never have learned those life lessons.  Even when we are in the midst of an upheaval, life goes on.  Daily life continues with all of its responsibilities.  Onward marching as the days go by and we are just a blip in this big Universe.

To those who are close with us, we are not just a blip, but an integral part in the world that we’ve created.  A microcosm in our soul family unit.  Our place in that small portion of the Universe is important and for that, I’m grateful.

Situations challenge us to learn those soul lessons of forgiveness, empathy, compassion, kindness and loving acceptance even when the struggles to find them are real.  Holding onto the poison of the past helps no one, especially those of us who find that allowing and letting go are the keys to health, peace and love in our daily lives.  Counting our blessings and appreciating all that we have spiritually helps beyond measure in healing.  Expanding our hearts to hold the heartlights of those who have taught us these life lessons is key to moving forward in our soul journey towards the light.

Allow me to embrace you all as we continue to shine our heartlights!  I hope that what’s left of June continues with peace and love for you.  If you’re having some challenges, remember that change is inevitable and can many times be helpful even when we can’t see how or why at the present moment.

Shine On!

xo

 

Grateful For Birthday Love

birthday

MAY THE BEST

OF YOUR PAST BE THE

WORST OF YOUR

FUTURE

Today’s my birthday and, although the weekend has been busy, it’s been lovely.  I’m so grateful for the love that friends and family have been showing me, especially on my special day!

I’ve always been someone who adores her birthday because to me, each birthday is special!  It means I’ve made it through another year and I look forward with excitement and anticipation for what the coming year will bring.  I blow out the many candles with joy for the life I’ve been given and the life I have made, albeit with hard times, struggles and sadness, but coupled with love, light and gratitude!

I may not know where I’m going or what may come my way in the future, but I do know where I’ve been, what I’ve overcome and how strong I am.  My faith in a life filled with love cradles me as the year ahead opens to possibility.

I don’t shy away from owning the years I’ve spent on this earth for each one has led me to the next, with a plethora of life lessons along the way.  While some I could have sincerely done without, I am grateful for each of them for they changed me in ways that I have come to gratefully see as strengthening me.

I love deeply because of them, although as a Pisces, innately loving from my whole heart is how I’m built.  Often I have felt the pain from love, but I wouldn’t change me.

I am who I am without apology, but instead with gratitude.

I think that’s what growing older is all about in the end.  This aging process isn’t for sissies.  That’s for sure.  But there’s a momentous glee in looking back to see from whence we came and in looking forward to all the future blessings in store for us!  Being in this precious present moment with the kaleidoscope of love surrounding me, my heart is filled to overflowing.  I just feel so blessed!

So today, I’m sharing my virtual birthday cake with you dear blogging family!  You’ve been on this life journey with me for many years and I’m ever grateful for your loving support, kindness and encouragement along the way!

May all of our wishes be fulfilled!  Keep shining your heartlights!

Shine On!

xo

Old Man Winter Please Make Up Your Mind!

oldmanwinter
Sorry, Mother Goose, but I changed the rhyme:
It’s raining, it’s snowing,
    Old Man Winter’s snoring.
He got into bed
    And bumped his head
And couldn’t decide – rain or snow – in the morning.
I think Old Man Winter is confused.  Dare I say it?  One minute it’s raining, the next it’s snowing and then it’s raining/snowing at the same time.  Weathermen have a tough time these days trying to predict the seemingly unpredictable.  It’s been warmer this past week, but now with the full moon yesterday, the weather is acting crazy.  We’ve got snow on the ground, but also little lakes in the backyard as a result of the flooding from the rain/snow mix.
There have been so many weather surprises in the past few months and not just here.  Can you recall any period of time when we had so many different problems?  Fires and mudslides, earthquakes, hurricanes, tropical storms, and blizzard cyclones, just to name a few?  It’s like the weather and the world have been upended and nothing makes sense these days.
So how do we stay calm in the wake of these pop up storms and hard times?  I think we have to be agile and find a way to move quickly and easily through life’s ups and downs.  Go with the flow, but be prepared for the unthinkable.  Not in a fear based way, but with the inner knowledge that we can weather whatever comes our way.  We have inner strength, but sometimes we forget and feel helpless.  That’s where faith can help, prayer can ease the mind and restore that peace within that is here for us.
I’m not belittling any of the tragedies that have occurred recently or in the past or those that may come in our future.  I’m just acknowledging that these are tough times to weather (pun intended) and we need to bond together to help each other as we endure these changes.  Come on…hold my hand.  Bonding together we can help each other through the hard times and heal while Old Man Winter is snoring!  Keep your heartlights shining!
Shine On!
xo

Past Experiences Do Not Dictate The Outcome Of The Present One

pastexperiences

When similar situations repeat themselves, sometimes we can go into a mind spasm.  We relive the past in the present situation, mindlessly worrying that the outcome of the present situation could be the same as the ending of the past one.  I know I’m writing generally here because frankly, the situation could be anything that you’ve endured.

But there’s that trigger, that Oh my gosh! realization that we’ve passed this way before in the past.  I tried to put it out of my reasoning mind, knowing that as before, I am doing the best I can with the resources I have.  But there’s that little worrisome thought that this time may repeat the last one’s ending.  Mindful of not wanting the same results, I pushed away the thoughts, trying to reason my way out of not manifesting the past again.  Because I don’t want what happened in the past to repeat itself.  Yet, I couldn’t shake the fear.

So I rechecked the facts, because my need for control, especially now, is fierce.  All seems well at this time which is good.  But in talking with a kind friend, I realized I was beating myself up internally for feeling as if the past could repeat itself and I was helpless to change what may be the outcome again this time.

When she parroted the situation back to me, as I listened to my own situation but in her voice (as if she were me), compassion filled my heart and I cried.  I realized that I needed to have compassion for myself and for my own feelings in this situation.  I understood that pushing off the absurdity of the situation repeating the past with the same ending wasn’t a ludicrous thought that I had to push away.  I understood that it was a natural thought process that if all lined up as it had previously (which is certainly possible), the ending could be the same.  I struggled with the thought, talking back and forth with my friend as we processed the scenario.  When we were finished talking, I realized what I already knew.  I can only do my best with my own resources and it’s in God’s hands.

I have to be content with that knowledge and find peace within me.  Because at this point, the situation is stable and not showing signs of further chaos, but the threat is real.  It’s just a question of if it’s here or not.

I think perhaps PTSD may be in varying degrees something that we endure over a lifetime when repeated similar situations occur.  Fear and past knowledge often make it difficult when we feel helpless.  So how do we overcome those aching worries?

We need to find compassion for ourselves for even going to that dark place of fear instead of tamping it down and turning away from it.  When I exposed the fear to the light with the help of my trusted friend, I cried and released some of the traumatic fear I was holding for the present situation.  With the tearful release, I was able to ground myself again in the knowledge that I am doing the best I can and only time will tell the actual results.  That gave me a small dose of peace for which I’m ever grateful.

Finding peace is precious and priceless as we endure stressful situations.  We all experience life lessons in different ways.  What I’ve found is that in being love, sending love, and wrapping us all in love, we know that love shines our heartlights into the darkness of fear based thoughts.

I’m not bringing that fear into my thoughts anymore.  I know I can flow with whatever may be on my path as long as I continue to stand in the light and not in the darkness.  Please keep shining your heartlights dear friends!  I can see them and they give me great comfort!

Shine On!

xo

Puzzled

puzzled

I’m often puzzled by people who are too busy or are unable to connect with others.  I understand being caught up in the rat race of life with work, responsibilities, paying bills, family, etc., but there’s something precious in reaching out to others to connect that to me feels as necessary as breathing air.  I can’t be the only one who feels this way, can I?

While I have much compassion for those who live guardedly because to feel and to be vulnerable is sometimes hard, it makes me sad when I hear that that’s how some people feel most of the time.  To speak in one’s own truth and to feel openly takes courage.  Obviously, there’s some trepidation and balance needed in order to do it safely, but the precious give and take between people is priceless.  I look around at some people who are so concerned with how things look that they miss the importance of what could be if they were to be honest with themselves and others instead of hiding behind the mask they’ve chosen to show the world at large.  There’s that soft underbelly of emotional connection that they hide deep within themselves for fear of being hurt by someone or something.

I’ve been hurt in my life.  Betrayed by those whom I trusted.  I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone else, but by enduring those situations, they taught me more about people and life than I ever could have learned otherwise.  If truth be known, I am grateful for the experiences, even though they were so hard.  Because by enduring heartbreak, I learned forgiveness, compassion, empathy, and how to love others and myself more deeply.  Life lessons that couldn’t otherwise be learned except by experience.

We are here to experience life in its fullest form so to hide away doesn’t expose us to the amazing experiences that can be had by being present in our lives.  It’s like living in a cave and never seeing the light of day nor the moon at night.  We stifle ourselves when we hide behind the mask and live with the dull roar of fear which limits us.  When we blossom and open to the light, we shine our heartlights knowing there’s a danger of having them dimmed, but we can still see the meaning in the experience as we grow.  We blossom.  We deepen the life experience.  By sharing our stories, we bond with one another.  We flourish.  We help one another through the trials and tribulations of life.  We experience life from a deeper part of our souls when we are open to living to our fullest.

There is much evil in the world, I know.  I’m not such a fool to not realize that there are dangers lurking and I’m careful.  But I’m not going to let evil make me afraid of living nor sharing my heartlight with you for fear of what could happen.

For many of you, I know you think similarly for I read your blogs and your comments and there’s a team mentality here.  We reach out to connect, we enjoy each other’s virtual company and we bond.  We hold hands, we support each other and we shine our heartlights unabashedly.

Keep up the great work dear friends!  Let’s make a movement together to show others how we can live to our fullest extent.  Let’s help them when life situations break us down in order to let more light in to heal us.  None of us are alone if that’s what we choose.

Be the piece of the puzzle that joins us and not divides us.

Shine On!

xo

 

Leave The Past Behind

leavethepastbehind

Sweet friends, it’s challenging when our parents get older and we begin to take care of them.  Sometimes the past relationships get in the way of our thinking and it gets harder to be patient and kind.  Few grown children don’t carry some reminders of injustice or hurts that they sometimes unwittingly carry into adulthood and that can spill over into the present day relationships with our parents.

I understand.

But dear friends, it’s time to let go of the past and focus on the present.  This can be a hard task to accomplish, but I have faith in you and I am willing to hold your hand while you walk this path.

Guilt, shame and frustrations build when we are tasked with parenting when we are still holding on to hurts from the past.  Also, parents can do the same so that the relationship can be hard to navigate, especially when you, their child, is now in charge.

Why can’t he/she be nice?  Can’t they see I’m trying to help?  Why do they act that way?  I’m tired of this!  This is not my responsibility because they did x, y or z to me when I was little, a teenager, an adult….this list of complaints can go on and on.

And yes, I agree that this is hard for you (and for them).  My heart goes out to you all as I’ve been there and I have felt similarly to some degree.  I get it.  So you may be asking, How the heck did I get into this place of peace?

I let go baby!  I rose above the hurts to a place of peace in my heart.  I did it for them and I did it for me.  I love them innately and I see them as human beings doing their best, just as I am.  I love from a place of understanding, of forgiveness and with peace in my heart.  I go into the day with prayer for patience to help me throughout the day and to help them.  I get out of my own head and try to see things from their perspective and then it dawns on me, how they’re feeling.  I come from a place of healing hearts and simply trying to make all of our lives happier.  Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don’t.  So then, I ask for forgiveness, to myself and to them and to God and I just begin again.

When you don’t feel like you’ve succeeded or when it’s been a really hard day, let go of the bad and just hang onto the good.  Let the hard times fall away from your thinking and hold onto that kernel of goodness.  There is some goodness every day.  Sometimes you just have to search a bit to find the blessing, but it’s always there.

Allow the past to have no power over you.  Live solidly in the present and allow the future to take care of itself.  Be present with loved ones and find the joy in connecting with them.  Role model love, kindness, caring and joy.  Innately you are a healer so use your gifts wisely.  And if you need to throw up your hands in frustration, by all means, do it in privacy.  Give yourself a time out to recoup before exploding with negativity.

Remember, your parents/elderly loved ones aren’t necessarily trying to make it harder on you.  They are simply doing what they can at this time.  And even if you don’t believe that or you think I’m full of Pollyanna hooey, give them the benefit of the doubt and give it to yourself when it comes to doing your best.

We are all on this journey called Life.  Lessons come to us in many forms to deepen our understanding of love.  Because let’s face it, love is what this life is all about and sometimes love and forgiveness walk hand in hand.  It take a lot of love to be someone else’s lesson.  Perhaps that thought will give you peace in your heart.  Your parent loves you enough to teach you a life lesson, whatever the lesson my be.  Be grateful for their love and for the lesson.  Hold them closely.  Forgive and forget.  Heal yourself and others.  You are more than capable to choose the high road and now’s the time.

Don’t do it simply because I suggested it.  Do it for yourself.  Raising the love vibrations in this world helps us all.  And it starts with you, dear friend.  Shine your heartlight.  I believe in you.

Shine On!

xo

 

 

 

When You Find Yourself Parenting Your Parents

whenyoufindyourselfparentingyourparents

I have a few friends who are now entering a new phase of adulthood which is when you are now charged with parenting your own parents or elderly family members.  It happens to many of us as we reach middle age.  My friends are just at the beginnings of that journey and I am glad to be here to help them and to help anyone else who needs it.  Because, I know how hard it is to watch the changes that occur as our parents get older.  Sometimes it starts sneakily and at others, it feels as if the drastic changes happen overnight.  But not matter how it happens, it’s hard for all involved.

The reversal of roles from child to parenting our parents can be a rocky road to navigate.  Some parents have a tough time relinquishing control to their children and fight the aging process with acute belligerence.  I can imagine how hard it is to realize even a little bit that we aren’t as ‘with it’ as we once were, that we get confused at times and that our children are telling us what to do when that was our job.  It’s a slippery slope to navigate as a child who now needs to parent our own parents.  We must be patient as the changes occur and be kind, even when our best intended and even wise suggestions are met with disapproval.

It’s hard to realize that our parents aren’t as healthy, mentally and physically as they once were and that we cannot rely upon them as children anymore.  It’s a tough realization, but very necessary.  There’s a mourning that comes with that realization for ourselves and our parents if they can realize it.  Bumps in the road are certain as this next phase begins.

Perhaps you’re realizing that your parents are weakening mentally and physically.  They aren’t as spry as they used to be and need help walking or doing their normal routines.  Perhaps you’re noticing that they are getting a bit confused at times or forgetting what they once readily knew.  Or perhaps they are slurring their words a bit or not able to remember to pay the bills on time or to take out the garbage or to eat routinely.

Please, come from a place of love and kindness as you navigate this new phase.  Be helpful and try to keep your frustrations outwardly to a minimum.  Hold your parents closer than you may have in the past and give them love.  Let them know you are there to be helpful and not to take over entirely (unless it’s now truly needed).  Find ways in which to help them as these beginning stages unfold.  Keep a keen eye on things as it progresses and be aware that subtle changes can grow quickly into full on tragedy if not monitored.

I am not trying to scare you, but I need to warn you.  I have seen it happen.  Trauma can exacerbate the the changes more quickly and speed up the need to get more help for your parents.

You may even see personality changes occur as they decline mentally and physically.  Agitation is common as their frustration levels increase (and yours do too).  It’s normal, so please take care of yourself and them with kindness and patience in your heart, mind and actions.

I’m here if you need a friend.  I’ve been on this path for quite a long time with several family members.  It’s not easy, but when you understand that you are not alone on this journey, it helps to ease the pain.  Being supported by someone who’s been there helps and I would like to give back in honor of those who helped me through the journey, so I’m here for you.

Shine On!

xo