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Heart and Soul

If you’ve been with me for awhile, you know I have written about the many life experiences I’ve had in order to connect with others. Making connections and helping others has always been the key to my writings. Well, that and talking about heartlights shining which at this point, I find even more curious since my heartlight is due for a shiny upgrade.

Being a breast cancer survivor, (now at the 20 year mark!), I thought that it would be smooth sailing from here on out. Apparently, my soul had signed up for a few more life experiences at earth school that I wasn’t aware I needed. So here I am, asking for your help, your prayers and your good thoughts, because open heart surgery is next on my schedule.

I know, shocking, right? It was to me, too. My entire life I’d known I had a heart murmur, low blood pressure and I would describe myself as a fainter (not often, but enough to not surprise myself that I faint at the sight of a needle etc.). It was my normal. However, it wasn’t normal. It was due to a genetically deformed aortic valve that I was born with – a bicuspid instead of a tricuspid valve that received more damage over the years by chemotherapy, radiation – and needs to be replaced now.

I’m not your typical heart patient. There are a multitude of complications to navigate for the cardiologists and luckily, they are prepping their strategies with the help from my previous doctors for hopefully the best outcome – a renewed heart.

So there it is – my latest news. I’ll admit that as the date gets closer, I get a bit more nervous. I’ve danced with the ‘what if I don’t make it’ through the surgery. I’ve battled the ‘I don’t want to have the surgery’ and I’ll take my chances. I’ve curled up in a ball and cried myself to sleep, feeling sorry for myself. I’ve had every emotion imaginable and ended up here.

Interestingly, here is where I am processing the letting go of fear. There’s something amazingly freeing at this point in my life to know that there’s a chance I will not make it through the surgery. It makes the last few days before it more meaningful, more urgent to share the truth of how I feel, most important to tell those whom I love and appreciate, how much they mean to me. I have nothing to lose.

Whether or not I make it through, I love that I am unafraid to speak my truth, finally…interestingly how the soul knows and I do not question life school anymore. I wanted to share this with you because you have all been on this blog journey with me over the years and I have appreciated your loving support, your help and your friendship. My life has been richer because of our connections. You have my sincerest love and gratitude for being you!

Keep shining your heartlights! I’ll be looking for them!

Shine On!

xo

Snake In The Grass

I took the puppy out this morning and found this snake in the grass. I have to admit, it gave me a fright because it’s the first snake I’ve seen here since we moved in almost five years ago! I’ve heard from the neighbors that there’s a really big snake that was sighted last summer, but I never had the luck in seeing it. Thank goodness for my lucky streak!

With luck continuing to be on my side, Buster was oblivious which was even better. I can’t imagine trying to wrangle a dangling snake out of his mouth in the wee hours of the morning before coffee! Who am I kidding – I would be screaming my head completely off and probably have a heart attack right there if that were to happen! I am not good with snakes at all!

Quickly, I refocused him to another part of the yard while I kept an eye on said snake. After he attended to his morning business, I daringly walked him near to where the snake had been. That’s when I noticed that the snake hadn’t moved from when I first saw it and realized that it was no longer alive. Whew. Sorry snake, but I breathed a huge sigh of relief.

I kept hoping that perhaps the hawk that dropped it (that’s my theory) would come back to retrieve it, but that never happened. All day I awaited one of the many predators outside to enjoy a free snack, I mean snake (haha), but unfortunately, none of them were interested in free take out. So I guess one of us will be removing him from the lawn sooner rather than later.

In the meantime, in the basement, another carcass was found, this time it was a mouse. What’s with Mother Nature today? Two wildlife deaths in one day? I wonder what the foreboding message is here. Any ideas?

When looking up dead snake spiritual meaning, I found this: A dead snake comes as an omen that somebody’s trickery, lies, and deceit has come to an end. Whether their attempts to manipulate or deceive you were successful or not may never be known. But, the dead snake’s omen endures regardless—you are leaving behind anxious times where trusting people was difficult, and now you are coming to a point in your life where you can count on and value the honesty on your inner circle.

When looking up dead mouse spiritual meaning, I found this: So a dead mouse in your house is not always an omen for something bad. It can be the message from the universe to pay attention, change the course of action, and see what opportunities there are coming your way. So when you find yourself facing difficulties in life or need guidance on how to live it better, look around for dead mice! They may have some important messages that will help you make decisions about your future.

Dead mice often see as symbols of death, especially when they appear out of nowhere or without any visible injury. Seeing dead mice is considered unlucky because it is indicative of someone dying soon – usually yourself! And this means that dead mice meaning should never be taken lightly because people do die suddenly from time to time even though there might not seem like anything wrong at first sight with them. Dead mice also represent people who have recently died so seeing one may mean that person has passed on and is no more in this world.

Others claim dead mice pieces are omens of a journey you need to undertake, and the dead mouse omen will be delivered by those who are either close or loved ones come to visit from the next realm. They want you to know they’re there for you, even after their physical death!

Some people believe dead mice represent journeys or new opportunities in life. So seeing them means your loved ones have come down from heaven with messages for you – either warning or welcoming news will soon surface! But before leaving, these spirits ask us never to forget about them because once you die out here, a lot of changes will take place.

In more general terms, dead mice mean someone’s death will soon come and it is time to fix things with the person because this might be your last chance!

Wow! Who know that there could be so many interpretations! Please feel free to deliver any messages you get from this post (if you get them) as I’d appreciate any insight you may have!

I hope you’re all having a lovely Saturday!

Shine On!

xo

Make A Joyful Noise

I awoke this morning before six am hearing:

Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands. Serve the Lord with gladness: Come before His presence with singing. Know ye that the Lord He is God: It is He who hath made us, and not we ourselves; We are His people, and the sheep of His pasture. Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, And into His courts with praise: Be thankful unto Him, and bless His name. For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting; And His truth endureth to all generations.

Psalm 100:1-5 King James Version

I spoke along with my mind, knowing full well that today is the anniversary of my Mom’s passing and this was one of her favorite psalms. I laid there quietly with tears running down my cheeks, repeating the psalm that as children we said before bed every night with her, and in her last moments, we said at her bedside.

Of course you knew I’d be sad today because I loved my Mom. She was special. She was genuine and like me, she loved with her whole heart. But I miss her even more because I’ve been sick, and there’s nothing like a caring Mom to take care of you when you’re home sick. So I’m a bit more vulnerable today than usual.

But I miss her. I miss how she saw life and could absolutely make me laugh, even when I was sad. She saw through people’s baloney. She kept life real. Even with her condition, she didn’t forget some things that became funny over the years. She and my sister (in the photo) always had a good time wherever they went! Can’t you tell?

They made a JOYFUL NOISE and loved every second of it! That’s what life’s about – taking what you’re given and making the best of it. Being in the present moment and realizing the gift that is this precious present moment! I am thankful we had many of those over the years and that my sister and I continue the tradition together.

Thank you for reading today as my heartlight is grateful, but perhaps a bit dimmer than normal. Any love and light would be appreciated if you can spare some? Thank you in advance for sharing!

Shine On!

Xo

Tiffy Cat

Yesterday I picked up our sweet Tiffy from the vet. Her cremains were in a pretty wooden box that had a pale pink plaque with her name scripted on it. As well, there were her two front paw prints imprinted on a heart-shaped, white ornament that we can hang on our Christmas tree this year, as well as the certification that it was indeed our girl whose remains were in the box.

My sons and I unpacked her, tenderly holding what was left of our dearly departed cat. I’ll admit we all were teary as she was almost fourteen years old and had been with us from the beginning. It was the end of another chapter in our lives that we are going through together.

We’ve been through many changes together, my sons and me. Those difficulties have only bonded us closer together as we have endured many losses. I am proud of who they are and where we are as a family. I feel very blessed to be their Mom and even through these shared experience of losses, we have continued to grow together.

As we set Tiffy’s beautiful box next to our previous cat Chessie’s, our sweet Tigger whom we rescued seven years ago appeared. She sat on the floor facing the boxes, staring up at them. Her ears perked from time to time, but she remained still, her eyes looking up into the space where the boxes were.

I wondered if she felt their energies. If our Chessie and Tiffy were still here with us in spirit? If Tigger saw something that I could not? Or heard something that my ears were not able to hear? Or sensed something that I wasn’t noticing? Or if it was just a figment of my imagination that she was acting this way?

You know it has been said that cats can see spirits. Have you ever heard that? Have you ever heard that those who love us never leave us?

Either way, after a few minutes she went to cat nap in her bed. When she got up a little while later, she came over to snuggle with me. Pushing her head against me, marking me and reminding me that she is still here. Oh how grateful I am for her presence in our lives! I am sure it was a bit of an adjustment for her as well when Tiffy passed. She’s now the only cat here, and she seems to have begun to mimic some of Tiffy’s snuggling traits as well as meeting us at the door when we come home, which she hadn’t done before now. That was Tiffy’s job and she never failed to greet us enthusiastically!

While Tigger’s meow isn’t quite as bold as Tiffy’s, she seems to be practicing more often now. I guess it was easier when Tiffy spoke up for the two of them when it was time for treats. Now she has to speak up for herself.

Thanks for reading. I just wanted to let you know that Tiffy is back where she belongs, with her family who loves her. We are grateful for the years her loving presence was a part of our lives.

Shine On!

xo

You’ll Know When It’s Time

It has been a sad time at our home. Our fur baby Tiffany (Tiffy) has been sick for a few months now and I wasn’t able to write about it. But if you search for ‘Tiffy’ on my blog, you’ll find many posts about our resident cat expert in healing through ‘fur therapy’ as she has been with us almost 14 years, snuggling in our arms and hearts with her strong purr healing.

But the time has come and as I write, with tears streaming down my face, I can’t believe we had to say goodbye to her. Anyone who knows us will remember how chatty our Tiffy was as she never stopped talking/meowing to us until she got her way…and she did get her way more often than not. She and I spent every morning presently together, as she demanded to be held like a baby and snuggled after my first sip of coffee. I can’t even begin to describe how bereft I feel without my little love.

I wish I didn’t know when it was time. I wish I could have healed her so that she could have stayed with us longer. My heart is breaking without her here. My sons and I are feeling her absence as she was such a force of love here. I thought that when our first kitty Chessie (you can search for her too) passed that my heart broke wide open, but Tiffy’s loss has broken all of our hearts. Thank goodness we still have Tigger as I hope she is ready for her very needy family to get some fur therapy. May Tiffy have taught her well.

Fortunately, each precious kitty has her own set of strengths so perhaps we have to wait to see what Tigger’s are now that Tiffy has passed. Tiffy was a force to be reckoned with and so now Tigger will step up. I know it won’t be the same as each relationship is different, but as I sit here typing to you quietly, Tigger is next to me, somehow understanding that we need each other. Her calm quiet presence soothes me.

Thank you for letting me share. Keep shining your heartlights!

Shine On!

xo

World Cancer Day

February 4th was World Cancer Day. I didn’t know it until now, so obviously I am a day late. It’s strange how I saw people post Happy World Cancer Day and I found it hard to read. Because even though I am a cancer survivor myself, I’m not quite sure I could put the word “Happy” in front of it even though I understand how they’re thinking. That it is a day of remembrance for all cancers world-wide.

I pulled this off a post somewhere today so I can’t give credit to whomever made it unfortunately. But I was stunned as to the different colors associated with each cancer. I began to look at each one and think of those whom I know who have endured that type of cancer. It took me quite awhile to go through the color wheel of cancers as I sat quietly in their presence and sent each and every one of them a prayer of healing. To those whom we lost to their battles with cancer, I sent them a blessing and prayers up to Heaven.

I have yet to meet anyone who doesn’t know of someone who has had cancer, let alone anyone who hasn’t had a family member who has been touched by cancer. I truly wish we could find a cure for all of it.

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of the passing of a very dear friend who had pancreatic cancer. She fought her battle like the warrior she was and left family and friends bereft without her light in this world. Her legacy of love and of the inclusion of all was a blessing to many. Her family not only included the biological members and their spouses, significant others and even the children, but the ex’s as well which some may have a difficult time understanding. She made it all possible with her light of love and her compassion for all people. While she never made anyone feel uncomfortable, her welcoming nature helped many wounds heal over time and she made this world a better place by being herself.

Today I ask that you take a moment as well to review the color wheel of ribbons, each representing another cancer and take a moment to pray for those whom you know/knew who had each one cancer. You may be utterly surprised as I was as to the amount of dear friends and family’s lives that cancer has touched.

I am shining my heart light to you today and to all whom have been affected by cancer.

Shine On!

xo

Rabbit Rabbit November 1st

Rabbit-rabbit-white-rabbit-white-rabbit!

Good morning dear friends! For those of you who know me, you know the first of the month is the signal for saying those special words in order to ensure good luck all month long! Have you said it yet?

It’s also All Saints Day on the Catholic calendar which coincides with the birthday of a dearly departed family member. It’s been many years since he passed away, but I feel his presence in my life often. As I said in yesterday’s post, I do believe in signs from the other side and have experienced many synchronicities and coincidences that are not able to be explained which reminds me that while loved ones may pass away, their essence, their presence, and their legacy remain in our hearts.

It is another reminder to me that we never know what the future brings and so I gently, but firmly, remind you to forgive, to love, to care and to shine your heartlights with much love into the world. We need more caring and kindness here and I know you are all blessed with an abundance of those very necessary traits! I am so grateful for all of you!

Shine On!

xo

As The Veil Thins

Today, October 31st, we have a second full moon in the same month which is called a Blue Moon. It coincides with All Hallow’s Eve (Halloween) which is the precursor to November 1st which is All Saints Day. Additionally, we have to turn the clocks back. What a busy day indeed!

The veil thins during this time. What does that mean? It is a time when the separation between the living and those who have passed away is thinner and perhaps we can find communication easier between us.

These last few years I have had many loved ones pass away and it has been difficult to go on without them in my life. As with anyone who has grieved, there have been times when the ache has been tremendous and the yearning for one more moment with them has been overwhelming. But at other times, I have felt peace, knowing they are not suffering anymore and are with God.

My loved ones have given me many signs that they are still with me. Often I have often felt their presence even though they have passed away. For that, I am truly grateful. While some may say these events were coincidental, I know in my heart that they were truly signs of love from those dearly departed souls whom I miss.

Have you ever had signs from those who have passed away? Please share!

Shine On!

xo

9/11 We Will Never Forget

It’s been 19 years since that day that changed us all. In remembrance, as you prepare for bed tonight…on this day 19 years ago:

♥️ 246 people went to sleep in preparation for their morning flights.

♥️ 2,606 people went to sleep in preparation for work in the morning.

♥️ 343 firefighters went to sleep in preparation for their morning shift.

♥️ 60 police officers went to sleep in preparation for their morning patrol.

♥️ 8 paramedics went to sleep in preparation for the morning shift of saving lives.

💔 None of them took a breath past 10:00 a.m. on September 11, 2001.

For the many more who died from illnesses related to being there that day, let us never forget. That day, this piece of history, changed the entire world forever.

For those who lost loved ones, please know that we keep you all in our prayers. We remember your loss and we send prayers to you and your family..

So please as you lay down to sleep tonight, tell your loved ones how much they mean to you, snuggle them all a little tighter, and THANK GOD for all of your blessings. God Bless.

WE WILL NEVER FORGET

Shine On!

xo

Missing Mom

Missing Mom

If you are someone who had a good relationship with your Mom, you may understand how I’m feeling today.  My Mom passed away over a month ago and while in my heart I know she’s in Heaven, I miss her.  There’s an emptiness in my life lately because she was such a huge part of my life.

She has visited me in various forms to let me know that she’s here with me in spirit.  For those that understand what I’m saying, perhaps you’ve had similar experiences as well.  I’d love to hear about them if you’re willing to share so please feel free to write in the comments or reach out via email if you’d prefer a more private conversation.

Grief is a funny thing isn’t it?  It sneaks up on us from time to time in the most surprising ways.  My Mom liked Talbots clothing so when I received a catalogue from there, I thought of what Mom might like and then it hit me.  I don’t need to buy Mom anything because she’s not here on this earth anymore.  Tears sprung to my eyes and for a moment the bereft feeling hit me hard.  I wiped the tears away and then sent up a prayer to her.

Then the other day I had a question and knew my Mom would know the answer.  Sadly, I realized I can’t ask her and that I probably would never know the answer to that particular question because she’s not here.  Again, the tears fell.

I’ve learned that losing a loved one and the grieving process that follows in order to heal takes time.  It’s not easy as you may know from experience.  Unexpected memories pop up at times that can bring up a fresh round of tears, but in time with healing, we can fondly remember the good times and be grateful for our loved one’s presence in our lives.

For we carry their presence in our hearts as the legacy of who they were stays alive in the memories of those who are still here.  Gone but not forgotten.  Isn’t that the way we are remembered?

Shine On!

xo