Tag Archive | letting go

Leave The Past Behind

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Sweet friends, it’s challenging when our parents get older and we begin to take care of them.  Sometimes the past relationships get in the way of our thinking and it gets harder to be patient and kind.  Few grown children don’t carry some reminders of injustice or hurts that they sometimes unwittingly carry into adulthood and that can spill over into the present day relationships with our parents.

I understand.

But dear friends, it’s time to let go of the past and focus on the present.  This can be a hard task to accomplish, but I have faith in you and I am willing to hold your hand while you walk this path.

Guilt, shame and frustrations build when we are tasked with parenting when we are still holding on to hurts from the past.  Also, parents can do the same so that the relationship can be hard to navigate, especially when you, their child, is now in charge.

Why can’t he/she be nice?  Can’t they see I’m trying to help?  Why do they act that way?  I’m tired of this!  This is not my responsibility because they did x, y or z to me when I was little, a teenager, an adult….this list of complaints can go on and on.

And yes, I agree that this is hard for you (and for them).  My heart goes out to you all as I’ve been there and I have felt similarly to some degree.  I get it.  So you may be asking, How the heck did I get into this place of peace?

I let go baby!  I rose above the hurts to a place of peace in my heart.  I did it for them and I did it for me.  I love them innately and I see them as human beings doing their best, just as I am.  I love from a place of understanding, of forgiveness and with peace in my heart.  I go into the day with prayer for patience to help me throughout the day and to help them.  I get out of my own head and try to see things from their perspective and then it dawns on me, how they’re feeling.  I come from a place of healing hearts and simply trying to make all of our lives happier.  Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don’t.  So then, I ask for forgiveness, to myself and to them and to God and I just begin again.

When you don’t feel like you’ve succeeded or when it’s been a really hard day, let go of the bad and just hang onto the good.  Let the hard times fall away from your thinking and hold onto that kernel of goodness.  There is some goodness every day.  Sometimes you just have to search a bit to find the blessing, but it’s always there.

Allow the past to have no power over you.  Live solidly in the present and allow the future to take care of itself.  Be present with loved ones and find the joy in connecting with them.  Role model love, kindness, caring and joy.  Innately you are a healer so use your gifts wisely.  And if you need to throw up your hands in frustration, by all means, do it in privacy.  Give yourself a time out to recoup before exploding with negativity.

Remember, your parents/elderly loved ones aren’t necessarily trying to make it harder on you.  They are simply doing what they can at this time.  And even if you don’t believe that or you think I’m full of Pollyanna hooey, give them the benefit of the doubt and give it to yourself when it comes to doing your best.

We are all on this journey called Life.  Lessons come to us in many forms to deepen our understanding of love.  Because let’s face it, love is what this life is all about and sometimes love and forgiveness walk hand in hand.  It take a lot of love to be someone else’s lesson.  Perhaps that thought will give you peace in your heart.  Your parent loves you enough to teach you a life lesson, whatever the lesson my be.  Be grateful for their love and for the lesson.  Hold them closely.  Forgive and forget.  Heal yourself and others.  You are more than capable to choose the high road and now’s the time.

Don’t do it simply because I suggested it.  Do it for yourself.  Raising the love vibrations in this world helps us all.  And it starts with you, dear friend.  Shine your heartlight.  I believe in you.

Shine On!

xo

 

 

 

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Communal Solstice

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In this photo, you can see one fire lantern has been released and is the floating orb. A red one and three others await liftoff! I’m not sure what I captured on the left (shooting star?) I wish my phone camera could have captured greater detail because it was fabulous to watch with the naked eye! ♥

I felt the darkness of the Solstice especially this year.  Perhaps due to the changes in my life or due to the healing that has been surrounding me and integrating inside of me.  I feel like it may be a communal  change of enlightenment.  Do you feel it too?

I was grateful to have been invited to a Solstice Ceremony.  What a magical experience!  The energy was fabulous as we all gathered together under the stars on the beach.  A ceremonial fire was built in a fire pit, under the stars while we were serenaded by the waves of the ocean gently lapping rhythmically to the shoreline.  Unbeknownst to us, there were others who were not in our group, but on the beach, closer to the shoreline, setting off those fire lanterns to the sky.   What an added bonus to watch as they gently lifted up and over the ocean!  It truly was beautiful.  Even the winds died down and the air was not frigid during the ceremony.

Letting go of what doesn’t serve me anymore and allowing the fire to help me to release was an amazing feeling.  Then, we each also prayed and sent out our intentions for the new year.  I had never experienced such a ceremony before and honestly I was hesitant to attend, but I am so grateful that I did!  It seems as if God and the Universe are bringing healing in all sorts of ways to me and I am ever so grateful!

As the longest night of the year, the Solstice reminded me to continue to shine our heartlights and to honor the darkness for that’s when we see the light best.  I am looking forward to celebrating Christmas Day with my children this year and even though I will attend Mass alone on Christmas Eve, (because they will be with their dad), I feel at peace for the first time in a long while.

I hope you have a lovely time of year, whatever you are planning.  May peace and love be with you always!

Shine On!

xo

 

Atmospheric Change – Do You Feel It Too?

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I feel like there’s an atmospheric change in the air these days.  I know there’s a full moon tonight and I was reading about the changes in astrology, energy, 5D, etc. so I’m figuring that what I’m experiencing, you may be feeling as well.  It’s like shedding the old skin and emerging with strength, love and light is finally beginning in earnest.  Letting go of what we felt we knew and embracing life out of our comfort zones.  Merging with a higher power so to speak.  Not regretting when we let go, but feeling at peace with the changes.  Holding tenderness and gratitude for memories of before and open-armed for what is here and what the future holds with delight!  Do you feel it too?

Computer-wise, mine has been acting wacky for a few days.  The internet issues, for awhile the N key wouldn’t work, then the computer suddenly changing screens!  I thought it was possessed with a virus, but then it healed itself.  Bizarre.

I’ve had lights flickering for no reason.  Strange, inexplicable noises bumping in the house and weird coincidences (some positive, some not so much) that have been happening in the last few days.  The word EERY comes to mind.  The cats have been even staring at something just above my head often.  I look around, but I see nothing.  I know that animals sense things so I’m wondering what’s going on?

Friends have reported other wacky computer issues which only lasted a little while as well.  Navigational systems that don’t work, then suddenly fixed themselves without rhyme nor reason.  Important phone calls which were missed by an accidental touch of the finger causing much strife, but then finally were remedied a few days later.

Mini lessons in patience, in allowing and in understanding have been the key to getting through the atmospheric changes as far as I can tell.  Allowing information to come when needed.  Not allowing posts to be published, comments to be made and forcing scenic routes when navigation doesn’t work, in addition to delayed important information which caused strife, but also gave a good lesson, are just some of the changes I’ve noticed.  It’s as if we are getting a new beginning where none of what we thought we knew applies.

How about you?  Any atmospheric changes in your life recently?

Shine On!

xo

I’m Fine

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The average person tells 4 lies a day

or 1460 a year;

a total of 86,700 by the age of 60. 

And the most common lie is:

I’m fine.

How many of us go about our day telling ourselves and anyone else who asks, “I’m fine,” even when we know we aren’t.  Denying the state of unrest within us doesn’t do anyone else any good, least of all ourselves.

Sure there are those of us who think we are inner powerhouses, who believe innately that we can work through the chaos and if we just put a little more effort into it, we can survive.  We continue to take each hurdle as it comes and keep moving forward, even when our body, mind, heart and soul yearn to rest.  But there’s no rest when we are amidst chaos.  We can’t let someone else down, nor ourselves.  We have to keep on, keeping on, in order to make it through, putting our best foot forward, because we are the responsible ones.  We are the ones whom everyone else is counting on and we just can’t let them down, nor can we face that sorry fact that we need help where we are.

If we were observant, we would face the truth and tell ourselves to reach out and we would know in our hearts that there are people who can and would help us.  Sometimes we do reach out, but if the person to whom we reach out can’t help us or won’t help us, we are doubly determined to just do it alone.  And so goes on that vicious circle of “I’m fine.”

But honestly. we are not alone.  You are not alone, nor am I.

And at times, we are certainly, NOT FINE.

Sure, I could tell you to rest and allow the weight of the world to fall off your shoulders at night so that you could sleep in peace.  You could hang your worries on a branch and give them over to God.  You could pray for solutions and look for signs from above.  You could reach out to friends and family for support or to trained professionals for guidance.  You could hire someone to do what it is you are so determined to do yourself.  It all depends on what is weighing you down and what is not fine.

But will you do that?

It’s a choice to get help when things are chaotic (and even when they aren’t).  It’s a letting go of the control and of the belief that I can do it.  It’s dropping the role that you’ve lead your entire life of being the responsible one and taking on obligations that maybe weren’t really even yours in the first place, but because nobody else stepped up, you did.

There will be those who criticize you if you choose to allow yourself to honestly say, “I’m not fine.”  There will be those who simply don’t understand what’s so hard for you when they look from the outside with their perception into your life.  There are those who will turn their backs and walk away.  Then there will be those who stay, who hold your hand, listen and pick up a shovel to help you get rid of the mess.

Those are the ones I want at my side.  What about you?

Trust in those who hold your hand with a loving heart space.  Allow their kindness, generosity and love to heal you, to help you and to ease the burdens you carry.  Trust in God that He can help you through these tough times.  And for goodness sake, get rid of the I’m fine, except when you know it will fall on deaf ears or when you really mean it.  Trust in I’m not fine, with those whose hearts are open to yours.

So if you’re asking me, “I’m not fine” today, but as Scarlett O’Hara once said, “Tomorrow is another day.”

How are you?

Shine On!

xo

Clear Away the Clutter

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Since we are moving soon, I’m cleaning out the clutter – decades of it and it’s hard.  I am a saver at heart and because I’m downsizing, it’s time to release and move on with my life.  Nostalgia takes hold occasionally and I release a few tears as I remember happier times.  That which I choose to hold onto are the favorites, the items that bring me joy in my life, not those which remind me of the past.

It’s exhausting work, this decluttering and although I’ve read my share of ‘how to declutter’  and feng shui books, I can sometimes get bogged down in memories when I find a little treasure that I had forgotten.  Perhaps it’s the chemo brain or mid-life loss of memory that are the reasons I’ve forgotten.  Who knows?  But I continue to choose to think that it’s a rite of passage when I can be reminded by an item and then put it in a pile and not pack it away to be moved to our next home.

Letting go is easy for some people.  For me, sometimes, it’s a challenge, but I am happy to report that it’s been one of those life lessons that I never wanted to partake in and yet, I’m finding happiness by going through it.  I’m releasing and sending items with love to new owners so that they can find joy in them as well.  I figure it doubles the joy that the item’s lifetime gives!  Does that sound silly?  I guess it can sound silly, but it’s a mindset that has been working for me, so I’m sticking with it.

Clutter bogs down the mind, body and soul although when we are in the midst of it, some of us don’t realize it (meaning me).  Now that I’m clearing away items that I thought I would use someday or used for a bit and now don’t, I’m finding that it’s opening spaces of light and opportunity in my life.

Have you felt this way?

Change is hard for most of us.  Endings are only new beginnings I know, but they are still hard to fathom sometimes when we aren’t sure where the new path is taking us.  I think I’d feel better if I were able to see and know where I am going.  But I trust that God has a plan and I am surrendering to His plan.

I hope you have a lovely Memorial Day Weekend!

Shine On!

xo

The Present Moment

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With the uncertainty of life, we let go when we have exhausted all means of control.  Sometimes it takes us longer to finally come to the conclusion that there are simply parts of life that we must allow for we cannot stop them.  For a planner like me, it’s always felt unacceptable.  Searching my brain, I would try to come up with endless ways to make whatever situation better for me, my family, my friends ~ relentlessly trying to improve a situation that I found unacceptable because it was causing someone else or me pain.

But there are times now, after sleepless nights of fret, worry and planning, that I am learning, albeit slowly, to let go and to allow God and the Universe to proceed.  What I’ve learned in the wee hours of the morning is to go with the flow, release, let the river take its course and have faith that as long as I can put my head on the pillow in peace, knowing I have done all with a loving heart, there is nothing more I can do.

However, it’s hard ~ this letting go.  So I am learning to let go and let God ~ and let Him in.

I think it’s human nature to believe we’ve got this, we can figure it out and make it work.  But we forget that there is God, the Universe and the Laws of Attraction who also carry us when we allow them to work their ‘magic’ as well.

Being in the present moment is a life lesson worth learning for me.  I am watching my Mom struggle with Alzheimer’s and being in the present moment with her.  Sometimes her present moment isn’t ‘reality’ but wherever her brain is at the time.  So to honor her, we gather in her present moment and support her, enjoying whatever gifts we can.

It’s a shift of thinking that has taken me a long time to accept and to process in my own brain.  However, love is accepting and above all, I love my Mom.  So I accept where she is at any given moment.  I’ve come a long way baby, but I still have much to learn.

Isn’t that the way life school is anyway?  Learn, practice and love?

Shine On!

xo

Letting Go of Expectations

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Do you make New Year’s Resolutions?  Truthfully, it’s been a long time since I’ve tried to do it myself.  But I’d love to know if you do make resolutions and if you stick with them?  And if you are successful, would you let us all in on your secret?  Pretty please?

Because this year, I’m not making any resolutions in the traditional sense.  Instead, I plan to build on lessons I’ve learned and to expand them.  Does that sound confusing?  Well, let me try to explain.

For example, I have a hard time with expectations.  Perhaps it is unrealistic, but somehow I expect people to be kind and to communicate because that’s what I try to do.  However, my unmet expectations gave me so much unrest in 2016, that I am finally letting them go.  Just because communication is important to me, I realize that it may not be so important to others.  So I’m releasing that give and take expectation and just accepting the reality of the current situation.  I think it’s healthier for me and in 2017, that’s my goal!

Do you have certain expectations which fall short in your life?  How do you handle them?  If you have any advice, I’m open to reading any suggestions you may want to share.

May 2017 bring you peace, joy, health, wealth and love!

Shine On!

xo