Tag Archive | letting go

I’m Fine

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The average person tells 4 lies a day

or 1460 a year;

a total of 86,700 by the age of 60. 

And the most common lie is:

I’m fine.

How many of us go about our day telling ourselves and anyone else who asks, “I’m fine,” even when we know we aren’t.  Denying the state of unrest within us doesn’t do anyone else any good, least of all ourselves.

Sure there are those of us who think we are inner powerhouses, who believe innately that we can work through the chaos and if we just put a little more effort into it, we can survive.  We continue to take each hurdle as it comes and keep moving forward, even when our body, mind, heart and soul yearn to rest.  But there’s no rest when we are amidst chaos.  We can’t let someone else down, nor ourselves.  We have to keep on, keeping on, in order to make it through, putting our best foot forward, because we are the responsible ones.  We are the ones whom everyone else is counting on and we just can’t let them down, nor can we face that sorry fact that we need help where we are.

If we were observant, we would face the truth and tell ourselves to reach out and we would know in our hearts that there are people who can and would help us.  Sometimes we do reach out, but if the person to whom we reach out can’t help us or won’t help us, we are doubly determined to just do it alone.  And so goes on that vicious circle of “I’m fine.”

But honestly. we are not alone.  You are not alone, nor am I.

And at times, we are certainly, NOT FINE.

Sure, I could tell you to rest and allow the weight of the world to fall off your shoulders at night so that you could sleep in peace.  You could hang your worries on a branch and give them over to God.  You could pray for solutions and look for signs from above.  You could reach out to friends and family for support or to trained professionals for guidance.  You could hire someone to do what it is you are so determined to do yourself.  It all depends on what is weighing you down and what is not fine.

But will you do that?

It’s a choice to get help when things are chaotic (and even when they aren’t).  It’s a letting go of the control and of the belief that I can do it.  It’s dropping the role that you’ve lead your entire life of being the responsible one and taking on obligations that maybe weren’t really even yours in the first place, but because nobody else stepped up, you did.

There will be those who criticize you if you choose to allow yourself to honestly say, “I’m not fine.”  There will be those who simply don’t understand what’s so hard for you when they look from the outside with their perception into your life.  There are those who will turn their backs and walk away.  Then there will be those who stay, who hold your hand, listen and pick up a shovel to help you get rid of the mess.

Those are the ones I want at my side.  What about you?

Trust in those who hold your hand with a loving heart space.  Allow their kindness, generosity and love to heal you, to help you and to ease the burdens you carry.  Trust in God that He can help you through these tough times.  And for goodness sake, get rid of the I’m fine, except when you know it will fall on deaf ears or when you really mean it.  Trust in I’m not fine, with those whose hearts are open to yours.

So if you’re asking me, “I’m not fine” today, but as Scarlett O’Hara once said, “Tomorrow is another day.”

How are you?

Shine On!

xo

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Clear Away the Clutter

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Since we are moving soon, I’m cleaning out the clutter – decades of it and it’s hard.  I am a saver at heart and because I’m downsizing, it’s time to release and move on with my life.  Nostalgia takes hold occasionally and I release a few tears as I remember happier times.  That which I choose to hold onto are the favorites, the items that bring me joy in my life, not those which remind me of the past.

It’s exhausting work, this decluttering and although I’ve read my share of ‘how to declutter’  and feng shui books, I can sometimes get bogged down in memories when I find a little treasure that I had forgotten.  Perhaps it’s the chemo brain or mid-life loss of memory that are the reasons I’ve forgotten.  Who knows?  But I continue to choose to think that it’s a rite of passage when I can be reminded by an item and then put it in a pile and not pack it away to be moved to our next home.

Letting go is easy for some people.  For me, sometimes, it’s a challenge, but I am happy to report that it’s been one of those life lessons that I never wanted to partake in and yet, I’m finding happiness by going through it.  I’m releasing and sending items with love to new owners so that they can find joy in them as well.  I figure it doubles the joy that the item’s lifetime gives!  Does that sound silly?  I guess it can sound silly, but it’s a mindset that has been working for me, so I’m sticking with it.

Clutter bogs down the mind, body and soul although when we are in the midst of it, some of us don’t realize it (meaning me).  Now that I’m clearing away items that I thought I would use someday or used for a bit and now don’t, I’m finding that it’s opening spaces of light and opportunity in my life.

Have you felt this way?

Change is hard for most of us.  Endings are only new beginnings I know, but they are still hard to fathom sometimes when we aren’t sure where the new path is taking us.  I think I’d feel better if I were able to see and know where I am going.  But I trust that God has a plan and I am surrendering to His plan.

I hope you have a lovely Memorial Day Weekend!

Shine On!

xo

The Present Moment

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With the uncertainty of life, we let go when we have exhausted all means of control.  Sometimes it takes us longer to finally come to the conclusion that there are simply parts of life that we must allow for we cannot stop them.  For a planner like me, it’s always felt unacceptable.  Searching my brain, I would try to come up with endless ways to make whatever situation better for me, my family, my friends ~ relentlessly trying to improve a situation that I found unacceptable because it was causing someone else or me pain.

But there are times now, after sleepless nights of fret, worry and planning, that I am learning, albeit slowly, to let go and to allow God and the Universe to proceed.  What I’ve learned in the wee hours of the morning is to go with the flow, release, let the river take its course and have faith that as long as I can put my head on the pillow in peace, knowing I have done all with a loving heart, there is nothing more I can do.

However, it’s hard ~ this letting go.  So I am learning to let go and let God ~ and let Him in.

I think it’s human nature to believe we’ve got this, we can figure it out and make it work.  But we forget that there is God, the Universe and the Laws of Attraction who also carry us when we allow them to work their ‘magic’ as well.

Being in the present moment is a life lesson worth learning for me.  I am watching my Mom struggle with Alzheimer’s and being in the present moment with her.  Sometimes her present moment isn’t ‘reality’ but wherever her brain is at the time.  So to honor her, we gather in her present moment and support her, enjoying whatever gifts we can.

It’s a shift of thinking that has taken me a long time to accept and to process in my own brain.  However, love is accepting and above all, I love my Mom.  So I accept where she is at any given moment.  I’ve come a long way baby, but I still have much to learn.

Isn’t that the way life school is anyway?  Learn, practice and love?

Shine On!

xo

Letting Go of Expectations

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Do you make New Year’s Resolutions?  Truthfully, it’s been a long time since I’ve tried to do it myself.  But I’d love to know if you do make resolutions and if you stick with them?  And if you are successful, would you let us all in on your secret?  Pretty please?

Because this year, I’m not making any resolutions in the traditional sense.  Instead, I plan to build on lessons I’ve learned and to expand them.  Does that sound confusing?  Well, let me try to explain.

For example, I have a hard time with expectations.  Perhaps it is unrealistic, but somehow I expect people to be kind and to communicate because that’s what I try to do.  However, my unmet expectations gave me so much unrest in 2016, that I am finally letting them go.  Just because communication is important to me, I realize that it may not be so important to others.  So I’m releasing that give and take expectation and just accepting the reality of the current situation.  I think it’s healthier for me and in 2017, that’s my goal!

Do you have certain expectations which fall short in your life?  How do you handle them?  If you have any advice, I’m open to reading any suggestions you may want to share.

May 2017 bring you peace, joy, health, wealth and love!

Shine On!

xo

Celebrating Our Next Chapter

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I was lost in the abyss this morning, firmly settled in a quagmire of sadness, hurt and resentment.  Beliefs that I had held so firmly in my mind and heart had unraveled to a point of no return and although I mentally understood, I wasn’t able to make peace with them in my heart.

Until now…

Here’s what helped me ~ advice from a dear friend…maybe it will help you!

A shift is a baby step, it needn’t be a giant step, it only needs to be an awareness of choice that we take.  No matter your hardship – be it financial, relationships or health, you always have a choice.  Sometimes a shift is merely the reminder that we have the ability to choose once we let go and remember we can choose.

Because remember…

We always have the free will of choice.  Celebrate with me today as we embrace the dawn of a new day.  We celebrate our gift of choice and we become the President of our own journey.  Embrace your throne, and your position at the helm of your own perfect lifeboat.  You are the captain, the pilot and the first mate of your own journey.  Rejoice in the knowing of your soul that you are exactly in the right place in your journey on this planet.  Find gratitude in the gift of a new day and a new chapter on which you write as you are the author of your life.

So today…

I declare a celebration for us all.  Souls rejoice in the kind, loving choices we make for ourselves.  Smile and shine your heartlights dear friends.  Be free, let go and stand proudly in the wheelhouse for this is your life to enjoy!

Shine On!

xo

Saying Goodbye To A House

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Saying goodbye has always been hard for me.  It’s always been that way my whole life.  To let go is a right of passage and even though I’m letting go of a home which was never mine, it’s just making me sad.  I guess it’s the final part of an era in my Aunts’ lives and it’s breaking my heart.

I can’t figure out why I am so sad for honestly I am so very happy that the closing is scheduled and we have successfully gotten it into selling condition after all that we had to do.  But there’s a small part of me which can’t stop crying for the bereft feeling inside that I can’t label.

I wrote this a few weeks ago and simply couldn’t post it.  I was intensely sad to let go of an era ~ not so much for me, but for my family.  But now it’s a few weeks later and I’ve got some clarity.  Isn’t that always the way ~ get into the observer mode in your life, let a little time pass and voila, you understand all the tears, you can deal with the grief in a better way and you can let go of whatever it was you were holding onto back then.

Time heals by lessening hurts.  Although I don’t think some hurts ever truly heal or for that matter, some emptinesses never can be fully filled.  But we can move on, we can take baby steps towards healing and we can fill the emptiness with healing love.

Shockingly, I think it helps when people have Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia in some cases like this one.  They simply don’t remember the life they had a few months ago.  There doesn’t seem to be any hurt or sadness in the present moment, there is only presence, love and happiness.  Sure we’ve had times whereby my family members get confused with the past and present, but a gentle change in direction of conversations or a redirect in a kind way, helps immensely.

Shine On!

xo

Sometimes, we just don’t think. Kintsukuroi

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Sometimes, we just don’t think. Kintsukuroi.

This post from dear Wendy over at Ramblings and Musings also known as Wendy Shares A Thought touched my heart and I knew I had to reblog it for you as well.  Many of us have old wounds and scars, but to mend ourselves to be even more beautiful than we once were, to accept and dignify ‘the new normal’ is to kintsukuroi our lives!

Shine On dearest ones!

You are always beautiful to me!

xo