The Power of Mothers

I wish my Mom had lived longer. While I know I was blessed to have her here well into her 80’s, it wasn’t enough time. It never is when a beloved one passes away. I look at social media and see all of these people with their moms and I keep hoping that they know they need to treasure this time. Treasure it as life is short and Moms are precious. At least mine was. I hope to carry on that tradition of unconditional love and pass it along to my sons. I pray that one day, when I am gone, they will remember me fondly and be grateful for the time we spent together – as that’s how I feel about my own Mom.

She wasn’t perfect, but then none of us are, are we? She did her best under the circumstances and always, always, told us she loved us. Sometimes repeatedly as if she somehow knew that I would need to rely on those words years later. Shore them up for a later date when that child inside of me needed her Mommy. When I needed to remember how once long ago, I had a Mommy who loved me with her whole heart, for always and forever.

Because I don’t know if it’s the energies or Mother’s Day, but this morning, well, perhaps you can tell, I’m a bit teary. I’m missing my Mom. I’m missing being loved by my Mom. I’ve built a beautiful friendship team of women in my life. Most of us are now the matriarchs ourselves since our Moms passed already, but some have simply lost their Moms which is unfortunate. But what connects us, what we have in common, is the way in which we mother each other.

Yes, you read that right. I am part of a group of women who mother each other – kindly share, mentor, and understand when we feel that nobody else really does. We lead with kindness and supportive love with that imperceptible trusting motherly instinct of sending out comfort when needed. We even go as far as doing the Mom praise and maybe even a lil’ bit of the Mom nagging…LOL Some things just don’t change, do they? I mean, how could we call ourselves Moms if we didn’t do a bit of reminding? Ha Ha

We fill in the gaps that our Moms left. We united slowly, subtly over time. It’s been a beautiful journey, truly. Interestingly enough, not all of them know each other. What I mean is, they know of each other, but some have never met and yet, we are intertwined. Some are not Moms, having chosen to not have offspring, and yet they are Mom-like all the same. Perhaps it’s part of that feminine mystique that is so prevalent in women. We just have it in our genes to mother. We’re simply built that way.

So today, I raise my coffee cup in honor of the women in my life. The ones who have mothered me and who have allowed me to mother them. The ones who cared enough to stick around in the midst of chaos. My appreciation is deeper than they’ll ever really understand. Because kindness and feeling loved is more precious than anything. Don’t you think?

Shine On!

xo

Is Tomorrow Another Day?

Have you ever lost a loved one suddenly and felt as if you’d been sucker punched? I got the news yesterday that a dear ‘uncle’ had passed suddenly and before I could even croak out words of sympathy to his son, tears sprung to my eyes and I began crying…a lot. Because ‘Uncle’ Mike and his beautiful family were like family to us. We spent Thanksgivings and Christmas Days with them throughout my childhood. Although we were not blood nor legally family, we all felt like family. Have you ever had another family with whom you are connected like this?

‘Aunt’ Nancy and ‘Uncle’ Mike were my parents’ best friends and hold a special place in my heart, for after my parents passed and when I was going through the divorce, they checked in and made sure that I knew I still had ‘parents’ who cared. It goes without saying, although you know I will, that I am ever so grateful for their love, their kindness and their caring. They hold a special place in my heart. Because when you feel alone, to have someone reach out, well…it’s more than comforting. Sometimes, it feels like a blessed lifeline.

There’s also a sharp reminder that we are all here for a limited time. I think our mistake is in thinking we have all the time in the world to do it all. Like Scarlett O’Hara’s famous line from Gone With The Wind, “After all, tomorrow is another day.” Yet, I am reminded that most of us never know our expiration date…so we need to enjoy The Presents of Presence…the here and now…and not wait until tomorrow to enjoy ourselves today.

I have been richly blessed by all of the connections I have made over the years. To me, each of you is a precious gem in my life and together we’ve weaved our stories like a tapestry. What a miracle! What a blessing! What a beautiful collection of souls!

Last night on the radio, randomly the song Elvira by the Oak Ridge Boys came on. Now that’s an oldie, but a goodie. Do you know it? Anyway, I haven’t heard it in years and yet, it reminds me 100% of my Dad who went through a country music phase during my childhood. When I heard that song, I knew that my Dad was letting me know that he knew about ‘Uncle’ Mike as at the same time the song came on, I was in the car talking with my son about him and reminiscing.

Do you get signs from the ‘other side’ too? You know that I do! If you are wanting them, then become more aware as they are trying to reach you…you just need to be a little more present…and notice…

Well my friends, this post isn’t one of my usuals. In fact, I’ve been all over the place while writing it. But I just wanted to send up a smoke signal to you to let you know I’m still here…keep shining your heartlights! I love to see them all!

Shine On!

xo

**Original photo by me, this morning as the sun rose in the sky…no filters.

Reason, Season and a Lifetime

A teacher is a candle who spends their whole life giving light to all of their students.

I never knew there was a World Teacher Day until I saw it on my calendar, so here I am. Because as a retired Spanish teacher, and a blogger who uses – SHINE ON – to end her posts, well, it was only fitting for me to write today.

Perhaps though I’ll go in a bit of a different direction. Because I think that the world is our classroom and all of her inhabitants are our teachers. Each relationship we have teaches us something else. We learn much from the people in our lives. That poem about reason, season or lifetime seems fitting at this juncture. We are blessed to learn something from each relationship we are in. I found this poem by Brian A. Chalker which I think explains it very well. Read on…

Reason, Season and a Lifetime

People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason, you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway), and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being part of my life…..

My heartfelt gratitude to all of you with whom I have been in contact, had a relationship, and learned from as my teachers. You have shaped my life in amazing ways and I am truly grateful for all of you.

Shine On!

xo

A Fluttery Heart

I’m more aware of my heart these days which is pretty fascinating since it’s been with me my whole life. Right? I mean, are you aware of your heart? Or of your breathing? Because they are working 24/7 365/6 days a year, non-stop to keep our human selves alive. We can’t go on without either one doing their jobs, but how much are we really aware of them?

I can say, I wasn’t really aware until now. As I sit here writing, I can feel my fluttery heart beating in my chest. Even though I’m seated in my new recliner for the moment, my little heart is fluttery which is how I describe this feeling of it beating out of my chest for no reason. It’s not like I’m exercising or anything, and still, it’s making itself known. That’s a good thing as I don’t want it to stop anytime soon!

Because I wear my heart on my sleeve. I always have. That and every emotion shows front and center on my face. I’ve been told that you can read me like a book and I guess it’s true because I don’t have a good poker face. I don’t like to hide how I feel because that’s not how I’m made. I’m more of a let it all out type of person which may or may not help in certain life situations. But it is what it is…and I am who I am. No excuses. No guilt. I’m me. Take me or leave me. It’s ok now. I’m at peace, finalmente.

This whole-hearted experience has changed me, enriched my life emotionally, spiritually and for the better. There is a peace which has emerged from within me, sprouting up like a tender flower stalk and blossoming with showman spirit using all the courage she can muster. It’s like a ‘ta-da’ moment, arms raised in victory, that I’ve gotten to this very place of loving myself and not being afraid to fearlessly give out love, shine my own heart light and enjoy every sparkle of love given and received. Not that I haven’t always quietly been that way, but now, more than ever, the fluttery heart demands her presence known everywhere I go. I’m smiling as I write this because it’s as if I’ve always known I would come to this – a surrender, a delivery of who I really am and an embracing of my authentic self with all of my strengths and weaknesses, without excuse, without fear, and with love and acceptance.

I love the way the Soul works. There’s a divinity in the perfect timing of all of this even though I haven’t figured out how/why/when. What I do know is that there’s no such thing as coincidence. There’s a plan here and I am grateful to be a part of it.

So I’ll embrace my fluttery heart and allow it to lead me without question, and to shine without reservation. Can you see my heartlight?

Shine On!

xo

The Tough Part of Being Present With Dementia

I’ve told you before that I have had loved ones with Alzheimer’s and Dementia.  If you’re a caregiver or relative of a loved one with the disease, you probably understand more than most people.  Because it’s hard when they get confused.  It’s unsettling when they live in the past.  It’s sad when they don’t remember.  It’s a gift you give to yourself and to them when you just stay present in their world, however it is, in that moment.  But the part that hurts the most is when they admit that they know that they’re confused.

To me, that’s the toughest part.  To witness their fear, their grief, their feeling of being lost when they blip into the present with that knowing.  I’ve written about it before here.  As many times as we’ve had these moments of realization that they vocalize, it’s still just as heartbreaking to me as it was the first time we talked about the disease.

I can fool myself into thinking that they are just in their own world, safe and sound, knowing that they are loved.  For the most part, that’s how they live.  But for the blessed few times that they are able to articulate that for this moment in time, they know that they are confused, that the words that they want to say are fleeting through their minds at rapid speeds and don’t always make it to be spoken, well, it just haunts me.

I visit a memory care facility often and have become friendly with many of the sweet residents.  We interact during every one of my visits and I have come to enjoy their company as well.  Each with her own distinct personality.  Each with her own level of understanding.  Each and every one simply wanting to be noticed, to enjoy human interaction and to be shown love.

Some are like the forgotten souls who simply exist and are cared for by strangers who love them.  Some of them don’t get many visitors which makes me sad.  Some have daily visitations from family who they don’t always remember.  Some have bonded with the other ‘golden girls’ with whom they share meals and others are simply existing separately.

The levels of understanding and interaction are as varied as the people themselves and with memory care illnesses, they are changeable at a moment’s notice.  One must continue to flow with the present state of mind and ability in order to connect with them.  Being a caregiver requires incredible patience and caring.  It’s an exhausting job, but one that is so gratifying.

I’m sorry I’ve gone off topic again. The words simply flow out of me when I write about the disease.  For it’s not just my loved ones who have it, but an increasing number of people in my life now.  There’s a bond among those who have loved ones with the disease.  We understand what we’re enduring and we share the ups and downs of the journey as it unfolds.

Alzheimer’s and Dementia keeps us on our toes with its ever changing fluidity.  One piece that remains constant is The Presents of Presence and the peace that comes with our choice to embrace this precious moment in time, every time.

Shine On!

xo

Another Home Run For Cudney!

I met Jay awhile back through blogging.  As you may know, I’ve reviewed his other books in the past Watching Glass Shatter and Father Figure.  So when Baxter his pup blogged about the new book,  of course I had to read it and write about it!

Where do I begin without giving away too much?  Let’s just say that Jay has a way of writing that makes me feel as though I’m right there in the mix of wherever his characters are!  His characters are real and his main character is so genuine – like Jay himself!  He’s laid out a great set of central characters whom I am anxious to read about in the sequel!

This mystery kept me on my toes as I tried to figure out who done it!  I enjoyed the banter between characters and learning about the back stories for them.  Jay keeps it interesting throughout with twists and turns along the way.  His way of revealing relationships intrigues me as he seems to have his thumb on the aorta of human beings.  He’s got the pulse of all parts of human nature and he’s not afraid to let his characters be themselves.

This is most definitely an enjoyable, cozy mystery to read on a quiet Saturday afternoon – just make sure you have nothing to do because you’ll want to finish it once you begin!

Congrats Jay!  I’m looking forward to the December release of your next book in the Braxton Campus Mysteries!

Shine On!

xo

A Fundraiser For Charlie

This is my Charlie. I say my Charlie, even though he’s not my horse. He’s just the first horse on whom I began my lessons last year, learning to ride.  I’ve written about him here and here!  Charlie is sweet, patient and loving. He’s brought great healing to so many people, to so many riders, young and old, big and small and to little old me.

If you have experienced the healing power of horses, you understand how I feel. If you haven’t tried horseback riding or haven’t been around horses yet in your lifetime, I highly recommend their incredibly kind and patient nature’s as a healing source. I’m proof that they’re magical!  💕🙏🐎

Charlie shines his heartlight on all of us and by his loving way of being, he helps us all to heal.  I’ve never asked for a fundraiser before, but I’m sharing this one. If you feel inclined, you’d be doing a really good deed by donating so that Charlie can come home to continue to bring love, joy and healing to all who know him. Every little bit helps!

Charlie has shown that he never gives up on new beginner riders nor on himself. He’s been through a lot and he’s ready to come home to the barn and to those of us who love him.

Thank you for reading…and if you can, thanks for donating!  Stop over on Facebook to The Presents of Presence to donate!

Shine On!

xo

Story From Facebook from his owner:

This past year has been a tough one on our most beloved lesson horse, Charlie. Charlie has been a member of our lesson program for about four years, and is the most loving, willing and well-mannered horse that I have ever come across. He has taught everyone from three-year olds to adults. He has taught children to trot and post, and others to jump and count strides. Most importantly, Charlie is a horse that loves to be loved and regardless of what’s happening, he is still the happiest horse. Charlie has had a few surgeries over the past few months and has had to stay at the clinic and now he is finally better and ready to come home! We are asking for help to get Charlie home. His bills have added up as we try to do all we can to help Charlie get better!

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

As a woman who endured breast cancer many moons ago, October or Pinktober becomes one of those pink, swashed in your face reminders of all that happened to us.  Maybe for you it doesn’t, but for those of us with a long history, it’s a stark reminder for an entire month.

I don’t often share that I endured breast cancer because my medical past isn’t obvious.  Well, maybe it’s obvious in certain situations, but for the most part, you’d never know if you met me on the street or in the grocery store unless I shared that bit of information with you.  I’m grateful for that now.  The bald tell-tale sign or the hairless eyebrows and lack of eyelashes aren’t there anymore.

It’s been a long time since I was diagnosed and I’m grateful to still be here to help others who walk this path.  If you want to read more, just type breast cancer in the search button on my blog and you will see that I’ve written about it over the years.  I learned much from my experience with breast cancer that I probably wouldn’t have if I hadn’t had the disease.  Endurance, strength, compassion, kindness, faith and connections have helped to enrich my life and my will to survive other obstacles that have arrived at my doorstep.  While I would have never chosen to endure this disease, I am grateful for surviving it and for the ample opportunities for insight and growth that came from it.

While it hasn’t come back with a vengeance, the threat continues as I live out the rest of my life.  However, most of the time it is pushed to the back of my mind where it belongs.  I am vigilant in my checkups and as any cancer survivor knows, I spend a few nervous days after they test my blood, waiting to see if my tumor markers have decided to go wacky and scare me.  In the past they have, which brought fear to the forefront again in my life, but luckily for me, they were false positives.

I can’t say that same experience happened for many friends and acquaintances of mine.  Sadly, many of them lost their battle to the disease as it metastasized to different areas in the body.  Survivors guilt after bonding with others saddens me.  The question of why I am spared and they are not, continues to be a mystery.  In honoring their sweet memories, I try to live the best life I can, for I know how quickly life can change.

I am an alumni of a club to which I never wished to belong.  But in this club, I have found warm, loving people who are united in ways that others may never fully understand.  To this day, I still help other women who are enduring breast cancer.  I know that for me, it helped when someone else understood the night time terror thoughts or the twinges of pain that we knew weren’t normal.  It helped to receive a sisterly embrace from someone who ‘got it’ and who willingly connected with me.  So I give back when I can.  I pass along the compassionate connections which were offered to me and greatly appreciated.

In honor of those who lost their battle to breast cancer, to those who are currently in the throes of cancer’s siege on their body and to those who, like me, are labeled survivors, I send up my prayers today.  My prayer is that we live on in the hearts of our loved ones and that someday, sooner rather than later, the cure will be given to all who need it.

God Bless.

Shine On!

xo

 

 

 

Are You Experiencing Energetic Madness?

Lately with the full moon, the planetary alignments, the climatic changes and atmospheric push/pulls, it seems as if the world is on tilt.  Do you remember playing pinball machines when TILT came on?  Well, that’s how some highly sensitive souls are feeling right now.  Are you one of them too?

It seems very chaotic lately in personal relationships as well as financial and business.  What I’m finding is machinery isn’t working or is very wonky which is frustrating.  There are long wait times and phone calls are being dropped for no apparent reason.  Not to mention people seem to be angrier than usual with their frustration levels peaking over little inconveniences that normally would only elicit a quiet sigh.  Has the world gone on full tilt?

So much agony, frustration and abnormal behavior seem to be clogging up the healthy flow in our world.  Patience, kindness and compassion seem to be misplaced for the moment.

So what can we do?

Support one another.  Be the kindness and compassion as we wait patiently (or maybe impatiently) for the return to calm.  Don’t allow the energetic chaos to deter you from staying centered in peace and healthy love.  Take good care of yourselves as we navigate these stormy seas.  Pray, meditate and balance yourself.  Shine your heartlights as beacons of hope for those who are feeling lost and abandoned.  Be grateful for the little things, even when the big things seem to be in upheaval.

It’s just a phase of change which will return to balance soon.  Keep treading water as we navigate these stormy energetic seas.  Go with the flow – for what you resist persists.  Perhaps it is a time of global learning and with time, we will reunite and reassemble how we are meant to be with peace, love, compassion and kindness leading the way.  At least that’s my hope.

Is it just me or are you feeling similarly?

Shine On!

xo

Healing The Inner Child

As I understand it, the inner child is you, between the ages of 6-8 years old.  That inner child carries the knowledge of love for you.  If you were given conditional love at a young age (meaning love could be given or taken away) which is the complete opposite of unconditional love which is what we all strive for, then the inner child holds that belief.

I recently had a healing experience in which my inner child has been reminded that we seek unconditional love, but that we also understand conditional love and the why’s and how’s by which others may only be able to love conditionally.  It was a startling revelation for me and for my inner child which I found so healing.

When given the opportunity to voice herself, the inner child has much to say and when all parts of us can work together, we can heal.  It is amazing to me how one session of hypnotherapy – parts therapy – worked wonders in my life.

Have you ever tried hypnotherapy?  I found the experience to be a wonderful tool to help me heal.  It made such a positive difference in my life.  I just want to thank Bobbi Rise for her patience, knowledge and professionalism.  If you’re interested in a session, you can find her here!  Give her a call and see how your life can transform and heal!

Shine On!

xo