As Our Loved Ones Age

Maybe it begins when you realize they are forgetting silly things that you know they well-know.  Maybe you notice when they aren’t as spry as they once were.  Maybe you sense that they aren’t following the conversations or involved in them as they once were.  Maybe you notice that the rituals (daily bed making for example) aren’t completed.  As time goes on, you realize that there’s a little hitch in your loved one’s routine, conversation,  eating habits, sleeping habits and such.

Many times we brush those moments off with the thought that hey, they are getting older.  But how many signs does one need in order to shake up our thinking and begin the growing alarm that our loved ones may need more help?

That is a personal issue for many people as we can easily explain away when we aren’t ready to deal with the issue at hand which is:  our loved ones are aging and need our help.  For some people, it’s a mind-blowing thought (especially if we are their children) when our loved ones have been people we looked up to, respected, revered and who took care of us.  To see them slide even a little can cause us to feel that tinge of panic or to altogether dismiss it because we can’t even begin to go there in our minds.

But let’s been honest – aging happens to us all, so we need to help when we can!  Because someday, it will be our turn.  So what do we do when we begin to notice more frequently, aging signs in our loved ones?

Tread lightly is my advice.  Know your loved one and approach the subject accordingly.  Some people welcome a little help.  Others vehemently oppose it.  Nobody likes someone else to point out that we are functioning at less than our normal ability so be kind as you broach the subject.  Be respectful.  Offer help in a non-judgemental way and allow the conversation to flow in a peaceful way.

Caveat:  unless you see imminent danger, then be proactive and respectful.

It’s not easy for your loved ones to admit that they are weakening or finding their normal routines more difficult.  Getting confused, losing objects and forgetting to eat are tell-tale signs that you need to step up your communication with them.  But do it in a non-threatening way.  Take more time with them when possible.  Encourage them to share with you how they are feeling and what they are noticing if anything.  Do it the way you would like ti done for you.

I have some friends who are noticing their loved ones showing signs of aging that are concerning to the well-being of their loved ones.  It’s not an easy task to flow into the parenting role of a loved one who is older than you.  It’s not always met with gratitude, but instead sometimes it is met with distrust.  It’s scary for your aging loved one to feel that they are not as strong as they once were.  Some fight it and others simply allow the aging process to flow easily.

My advice is to keep your eyes and ears open and to broach the subject with compassion.  Listen to your intuition too as many times we know, we just don’t want to see because it’s hard to think of our loved ones in that way.

I wish you well on this next chapter of your journey.  I’m here if you need a hand to hold as we’ve experienced this as well.  You are not alone.

Shine On!

xo

Old Man Winter Please Make Up Your Mind!

Sorry, Mother Goose, but I changed the rhyme:

It’s raining, it’s snowing,

    Old Man Winter’s snoring.

He got into bed

    And bumped his head

And couldn’t decide – rain or snow – in the morning.

I think Old Man Winter is confused.  Dare I say it?  One minute it’s raining, the next it’s snowing and then it’s raining/snowing at the same time.  Weathermen have a tough time these days trying to predict the seemingly unpredictable.  It’s been warmer this past week, but now with the full moon yesterday, the weather is acting crazy.  We’ve got snow on the ground, but also little lakes in the backyard as a result of the flooding from the rain/snow mix.

There have been so many weather surprises in the past few months and not just here.  Can you recall any period of time when we had so many different problems?  Fires and mudslides, earthquakes, hurricanes, tropical storms, and blizzard cyclones, just to name a few?  It’s like the weather and the world have been upended and nothing makes sense these days.

So how do we stay calm in the wake of these pop up storms and hard times?  I think we have to be agile and find a way to move quickly and easily through life’s ups and downs.  Go with the flow, but be prepared for the unthinkable.  Not in a fear based way, but with the inner knowledge that we can weather whatever comes our way.  We have inner strength, but sometimes we forget and feel helpless.  That’s where faith can help, prayer can ease the mind and restore that peace within that is here for us.

I’m not belittling any of the tragedies that have occurred recently or in the past or those that may come in our future.  I’m just acknowledging that these are tough times to weather (pun intended) and we need to bond together to help each other as we endure these changes.  Come on…hold my hand.  Bonding together we can help each other through the hard times and heal while Old Man Winter is snoring!  Keep your heartlights shining!

Shine On!

xo

Empathic Eclipse Of The Heart

I’m struggling today.  Surely it’s due to a bunch of different occurrences, but my heart is heavy and my solar plexus is filled with sadness.  The news of the school shooting in Florida made me cry for the unbelievable news haunts me.  To have sent your children and loved ones off to school on Valentine’s Day, where they should be safe, and to have this life changing situation happen is beyond my understanding.

How can our world be so filled with destruction, ugliness and hate?

I don’t want to discuss gun control so please don’t go there.  I just am in this place of extreme sadness for the lack of peace and love in our world.  My heart aches for the losses of life.  I’m saddened to my core by the lack of love that swirls, the absence of peace and I ache for healing for all of us.  I feel the fear that events such as these increase and the extreme heartbreak that lingers.

Yet, as stories emerge of bravery, and of courage under fire, I know that there are many good-hearted people in the world who do step up in the face of danger as shown by the courageous acts that are recounted.  I hang onto the hope from hearing them.  But I’m also crushed that the heroes have fallen as they protected others.  Surely there’s a special place in Heaven for those who give up their lives in order to save someone else.

We have another eclipse today as well which certainly affects us all, especially empaths like me.  Our weather is changing too which doesn’t help so I am honoring myself and allowing these feelings to flow onto this page in order to help to heal.  Perhaps you are feeling similarly?

Dear friends, globally let’s shine our heartlights and raise the loving vibrations of our community here in the blogsphere.  Please let’s send healing thoughts with light and love into the world today.  Please let’s drive out the darkness with our heartlights.

I’m sending you all love and healing vibrations of community.  Let’s join together to send prayers and support to those victims and their families as they face the aftermath of what is becoming all too common.  Thank you for reading my post.

Shine On!

xo

Past Experiences Do Not Dictate The Outcome Of The Present One

When similar situations repeat themselves, sometimes we can go into a mind spasm.  We relive the past in the present situation, mindlessly worrying that the outcome of the present situation could be the same as the ending of the past one.  I know I’m writing generally here because frankly, the situation could be anything that you’ve endured.

But there’s that trigger, that Oh my gosh! realization that we’ve passed this way before in the past.  I tried to put it out of my reasoning mind, knowing that as before, I am doing the best I can with the resources I have.  But there’s that little worrisome thought that this time may repeat the last one’s ending.  Mindful of not wanting the same results, I pushed away the thoughts, trying to reason my way out of not manifesting the past again.  Because I don’t want what happened in the past to repeat itself.  Yet, I couldn’t shake the fear.

So I rechecked the facts, because my need for control, especially now, is fierce.  All seems well at this time which is good.  But in talking with a kind friend, I realized I was beating myself up internally for feeling as if the past could repeat itself and I was helpless to change what may be the outcome again this time.

When she parroted the situation back to me, as I listened to my own situation but in her voice (as if she were me), compassion filled my heart and I cried.  I realized that I needed to have compassion for myself and for my own feelings in this situation.  I understood that pushing off the absurdity of the situation repeating the past with the same ending wasn’t a ludicrous thought that I had to push away.  I understood that it was a natural thought process that if all lined up as it had previously (which is certainly possible), the ending could be the same.  I struggled with the thought, talking back and forth with my friend as we processed the scenario.  When we were finished talking, I realized what I already knew.  I can only do my best with my own resources and it’s in God’s hands.

I have to be content with that knowledge and find peace within me.  Because at this point, the situation is stable and not showing signs of further chaos, but the threat is real.  It’s just a question of if it’s here or not.

I think perhaps PTSD may be in varying degrees something that we endure over a lifetime when repeated similar situations occur.  Fear and past knowledge often make it difficult when we feel helpless.  So how do we overcome those aching worries?

We need to find compassion for ourselves for even going to that dark place of fear instead of tamping it down and turning away from it.  When I exposed the fear to the light with the help of my trusted friend, I cried and released some of the traumatic fear I was holding for the present situation.  With the tearful release, I was able to ground myself again in the knowledge that I am doing the best I can and only time will tell the actual results.  That gave me a small dose of peace for which I’m ever grateful.

Finding peace is precious and priceless as we endure stressful situations.  We all experience life lessons in different ways.  What I’ve found is that in being love, sending love, and wrapping us all in love, we know that love shines our heartlights into the darkness of fear based thoughts.

I’m not bringing that fear into my thoughts anymore.  I know I can flow with whatever may be on my path as long as I continue to stand in the light and not in the darkness.  Please keep shining your heartlights dear friends!  I can see them and they give me great comfort!

Shine On!

xo

Puzzled

I’m often puzzled by people who are too busy or are unable to connect with others.  I understand being caught up in the rat race of life with work, responsibilities, paying bills, family, etc., but there’s something precious in reaching out to others to connect that to me feels as necessary as breathing air.  I can’t be the only one who feels this way, can I?

While I have much compassion for those who live guardedly because to feel and to be vulnerable is sometimes hard, it makes me sad when I hear that that’s how some people feel most of the time.  To speak in one’s own truth and to feel openly takes courage.  Obviously, there’s some trepidation and balance needed in order to do it safely, but the precious give and take between people is priceless.  I look around at some people who are so concerned with how things look that they miss the importance of what could be if they were to be honest with themselves and others instead of hiding behind the mask they’ve chosen to show the world at large.  There’s that soft underbelly of emotional connection that they hide deep within themselves for fear of being hurt by someone or something.

I’ve been hurt in my life.  Betrayed by those whom I trusted.  I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone else, but by enduring those situations, they taught me more about people and life than I ever could have learned otherwise.  If truth be known, I am grateful for the experiences, even though they were so hard.  Because by enduring heartbreak, I learned forgiveness, compassion, empathy, and how to love others and myself more deeply.  Life lessons that couldn’t otherwise be learned except by experience.

We are here to experience life in its fullest form so to hide away doesn’t expose us to the amazing experiences that can be had by being present in our lives.  It’s like living in a cave and never seeing the light of day nor the moon at night.  We stifle ourselves when we hide behind the mask and live with the dull roar of fear which limits us.  When we blossom and open to the light, we shine our heartlights knowing there’s a danger of having them dimmed, but we can still see the meaning in the experience as we grow.  We blossom.  We deepen the life experience.  By sharing our stories, we bond with one another.  We flourish.  We help one another through the trials and tribulations of life.  We experience life from a deeper part of our souls when we are open to living to our fullest.

There is much evil in the world, I know.  I’m not such a fool to not realize that there are dangers lurking and I’m careful.  But I’m not going to let evil make me afraid of living nor sharing my heartlight with you for fear of what could happen.

For many of you, I know you think similarly for I read your blogs and your comments and there’s a team mentality here.  We reach out to connect, we enjoy each other’s virtual company and we bond.  We hold hands, we support each other and we shine our heartlights unabashedly.

Keep up the great work dear friends!  Let’s make a movement together to show others how we can live to our fullest extent.  Let’s help them when life situations break us down in order to let more light in to heal us.  None of us are alone if that’s what we choose.

Be the piece of the puzzle that joins us and not divides us.

Shine On!

xo

 

Everything Is An Act Of Love

Today I watched a video from Mind Valley where Neale Donald Walsch was speaking with Vishen Lakhiani (founder of Mind Valley).  I have included the video below and some of the phrases which beckoned to me in understanding what Conversations With God Book 4 is all about according to its author Neale Donald Walsch.

Here are a few highlights…

Every act is an act of love….even if it’s a distorted act of love.

Love expresses itself in many forms.

If you loved nothing, you’d fear nothing.

What do you love so much, that you’re willing to hurt me to experience it?

What hurts you so much, that you feel you have to hurt me to heal it?

God doesn’t have to forgive us for anything

Love is all there is.  There is only one energy in the universe.  Love is expressed in many forms.  Fear, for instance, is an expression of love.  Fear is love demonstrated in a particular way.  For instance, if you loved nothing, you’d fear nothing.  The only fear is the loss of what you love or the not getting of what you love.

We don’t seek to heal or to end this by fighting, we seek to end this by understanding.  Remember this always, understanding replaces forgiveness in the mind of the master.  You understand why they did what they did.

Here’s the video clip which explains it better than I ever could.  What do you think?

Shine On!

xo

 

Defending Your Life

Do you ever wonder what happens when you die?  I was watching a movie called Defending Your Life the other night when I began thinking about just that!  It’s an Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep movie which came out in 1991.  Maybe the trailer below will ring a bell in you?

In the movie, after death, there’s a stay in Judgment City whereby you defend your actions on Earth in order to ascend to a higher plane of existence.  Daniel Miller (Albert Brooks) is on trial for being afraid.

And that’s the thought that jolted me out of my limited thinking.

Fear.  Being afraid.  Worrying about what others think.  Not taking chances when we could have – which might have led to growth.  Holding back.  Not taking opportunities which were given to us.  Tormenting ourselves over woulda, coulda, shoulda times when other choices, like the road less traveled, were presented.

We’ve all heard the adages in different ways:  We only have one life.  Life is short.  100% of the chances not taken, are missed.

I am sure you could add to that list exponentially, but those are just a few of the ones I’ve heard in my lifetime.  And yet, it’s not complacency that holds us back from living our lives to their fullest potential.  It’s fear.

So today, perhaps as you go about your day, look for those miraculous opportunities which present themselves quietly.  When given options, maybe you’ll decide to take a calculated chance to do something different.  Go after your dreams and press out of your self-limited comfort zones, a baby step at a time.  Live your life with enthusiasm and openness.  Free yourself from the confines of your fears.  Open the gate to living an authentically, beautiful life which is yours by Divine Right.

Be YOU, in all your splendid beauty.

Shine On!

xo

 

It’s Just The Circle Of Life

I don’t mean any disrespect when I write – It’s just the circle of life.  It’s more of a factual statement than one which diminishes the emotion of birth to death.  As humans, we have experienced our own birth and someday we will experience our own death.  We may even experience by proxy, the death of friends, family and loved ones.  As women, we may even experience the gift of giving birth.

As a breast cancer survivor, I have experienced the thought of death as well.  Perhaps it’s not just those of us with illnesses that know the darkness that shrouds the fear at death’s door.  But it becomes a rite of passage when we are diagnosed with a disease which is a known killer.  It’s how we deal with that threat that the disease can take our lives which varies, person to person.

There’s no right way to deal with a breast cancer diagnosis and each of us who have heard those words, ‘you have cancer’ can attest to the fact that our lives completely change in a moment.  Forevermore we live with the threat that it won’t be cured or that it will return with a vengeance.  We fear the cancer, the treatment and the cloud that perpetually hangs back, in our peripheral view for the rest of our lives.  We mourn the loss of good health that we once had.  We crumble in the dark late at night fearing the worst, yet hoping for the best, making promises to the Universe or to God with pleas for strength, for one more day, for a cure, for peace.

We endure pain in order to be cured, yet the psyche many times does not ever find peace again to heal our spiritual self.  I have seen people who have become broken shells of their former selves after a diagnosis, never to fully regain the momentum of life afterwards for the fear of the cancer returning never leaves us.  Even if we put it in the back of our minds or try to totally erase it from our view, its specter awaits, lurking for the next lump’s arrival, the next battery of tests that are not within normal range, the next procedure to investigate some abnormality in the body.  It doesn’t really ever end.

I am coming up on 16 years since I was diagnosed and I can attest that it never ends.  Sure, we can go on merrily with our lives, hoping our happy-go-lucky charade continues to not provoke questions from others as to our health status.  We can cry at night when things aren’t good, but nobody understands this unless you have endured it.  We can be strong when needed and mask our fears to the masses.  After awhile, we even believe ourselves until something happens to knock us off-kilter and wham, we are back again in the throes of fear and wondering if the circle of life is at its end.

I understand dear friends.  I truly do.  Even the word remission is not a peaceful feeling as it only masks the tingling sensation of peace for the moment and the trembling fear of if/when the other shoe will drop again.

I don’t know why I am writing this post today.  It seems to be flowing out of me at a supersonic speed.  My fingers type so quickly and yet I am not sure if I am even making sense.  I’ve had many scares over the years.  Tumor markers which are higher than normal, lumps that have to be biopsied, scary tests to endure all while knowing that could be in store.  Crying in the night or during the day when nobody’s home.  Feeling the whoosh of relief when the doctor proclaims it’s ok for now.  Reliving the nightmares of past experiences knowing I’m on my own.  It’s hard, but we can live through the experience and keep going.  That’s the common denominator really.  Keep waking up to a new day.  Nightfall is hardest I know – that dead of night overwhelming feeling which is only diminished by sleep.  And the realization as dawn comes that we must face the reality in our situation.  I’m here for you.  I have been there and I feel blessed that I am still here to walk with you when you need a friend.

The circle of life begins and ends in a momentous way – birth and death – bringing the light of our souls into the world and then allowing the extinguishing of our soul light to be free.

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  I’m fine, so no worries.  I don’t know why this post wrote itself today, but it did. xo

 

via Daily Prompt: Circle

Which Wolf Do You Feed?

I’ve seen this Native American parable before, but I think it bears repeating, so here it goes:

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, “The one you feed.”

 

We can use this parable in our daily life by which story we feed our souls, especially when life gets challenging and we feel like we are alone.  We can become depressed and angry for the circumstances we find ourselves in or we can feed ourselves and the situation with love, kindness and forgiveness and move beyond the hurt.

Just like the parable suggests,

it’s all in the wolf that you choose to feed.

It is that simple dear friends.  Come on, hold my hand.  Let’s feed the good wolf together and make this world a better place for us all!

Shine On!

xo

 

 

Sharing Experiences

Blogging is sharing experiences via writing as you well know if you’re a blogger.  We read blogs to share our experiences and to connect along the way.  Sometimes there’s a tidbit in someone’s blog which ignites a part of us in a good way.  I’ve learned so much from reading your blogs – new vocabulary, new books, and assimilated new ideas into my life.  I’ve connected through shared similar life experiences and found friendships, whether brief or long-term.  I’ve enjoyed expanding my thinking, my music repertoire and my enjoyment of reading with you as well.  I’ve felt when you’ve had challenges and grief in your lives and I have felt your support and caring when the same has happened in mine.

Writing with openness requires great vulnerability.  I don’t believe that when we open up to the world we are being weak.  I think it takes great strength to show ourselves in emotional truth for we never know how it will be perceived.  I feel grateful that I’ve found truth in the Universal code of kindness that if you don’t have something nice to say, you keep it to yourself because if it’s not helpful, then it’s hurtful and the majority doesn’t intend to hurt anyone else.

There may always be those who misunderstand me for which I’m sad, but I’ve accepted them.   Their fear-based beliefs keep them from opening up and experiencing life in different ways.  Fear can do strange things to people’s minds and being fear-based brings much anxiety to the most stable of individuals.  It is only when we release fear that we can embrace the plethora of goodness in life.  Sure, there are times when we are hurt, when misunderstandings occur and when people just don’t act with kindness.  That happens everywhere.  We must accept that we are all on our own journeys and that they intersect at different times.  We may walk on the path of life with someone for awhile and then part ways.  Or we may stay, sharing the path on and off for a lifetime.  What I know for sure is that each time our paths cross, whether it’s in a good situation or a teaching moment, we come away with a richer life experience for having crossed paths.

And isn’t that what life school is all about?  Learning, growing and experiencing all different types of situations and people?  Taking what comes to us a calm way and finding the good in the encounter – even when at the time it seems not so good?  When we are healed or when we can view it as an observer, we realize that the encounter has helped us to learn more about ourselves, to understand people in general and to enjoy the tapestry of experiences that is this life.  We are grateful for the peace and the  learning opportunity that we may have missed we if hadn’t crossed paths in this lifetime.

So I thank you for reading my blog and for opening up and letting us be with you through your blogs.  It is my honor to connect with you always.

Thanks for being you!

Shine On!

xo