Breast Cancer Awareness Month

As a woman who endured breast cancer many moons ago, October or Pinktober becomes one of those pink, swashed in your face reminders of all that happened to us.  Maybe for you it doesn’t, but for those of us with a long history, it’s a stark reminder for an entire month.

I don’t often share that I endured breast cancer because my medical past isn’t obvious.  Well, maybe it’s obvious in certain situations, but for the most part, you’d never know if you met me on the street or in the grocery store unless I shared that bit of information with you.  I’m grateful for that now.  The bald tell-tale sign or the hairless eyebrows and lack of eyelashes aren’t there anymore.

It’s been a long time since I was diagnosed and I’m grateful to still be here to help others who walk this path.  If you want to read more, just type breast cancer in the search button on my blog and you will see that I’ve written about it over the years.  I learned much from my experience with breast cancer that I probably wouldn’t have if I hadn’t had the disease.  Endurance, strength, compassion, kindness, faith and connections have helped to enrich my life and my will to survive other obstacles that have arrived at my doorstep.  While I would have never chosen to endure this disease, I am grateful for surviving it and for the ample opportunities for insight and growth that came from it.

While it hasn’t come back with a vengeance, the threat continues as I live out the rest of my life.  However, most of the time it is pushed to the back of my mind where it belongs.  I am vigilant in my checkups and as any cancer survivor knows, I spend a few nervous days after they test my blood, waiting to see if my tumor markers have decided to go wacky and scare me.  In the past they have, which brought fear to the forefront again in my life, but luckily for me, they were false positives.

I can’t say that same experience happened for many friends and acquaintances of mine.  Sadly, many of them lost their battle to the disease as it metastasized to different areas in the body.  Survivors guilt after bonding with others saddens me.  The question of why I am spared and they are not, continues to be a mystery.  In honoring their sweet memories, I try to live the best life I can, for I know how quickly life can change.

I am an alumni of a club to which I never wished to belong.  But in this club, I have found warm, loving people who are united in ways that others may never fully understand.  To this day, I still help other women who are enduring breast cancer.  I know that for me, it helped when someone else understood the night time terror thoughts or the twinges of pain that we knew weren’t normal.  It helped to receive a sisterly embrace from someone who ‘got it’ and who willingly connected with me.  So I give back when I can.  I pass along the compassionate connections which were offered to me and greatly appreciated.

In honor of those who lost their battle to breast cancer, to those who are currently in the throes of cancer’s siege on their body and to those who, like me, are labeled survivors, I send up my prayers today.  My prayer is that we live on in the hearts of our loved ones and that someday, sooner rather than later, the cure will be given to all who need it.

God Bless.

Shine On!

xo

 

 

 

July First – Rabbit Rabbit!

Today is Rabbit Rabbit, White Rabbit White Rabbit!  I hope your month ahead is fulfilling  and where an abundance of peace, love, health, joy and connections abound!  Choose to shine your heartlights and continue to raise the vibrations in our world.  We need to unite in kindness!

This bunny lives at my house.  I’ve named him Clover as he loves to eat the clover in my yard which is abundant as you can see in the photo!  He’s not even afraid of me anymore since we’ve had some lovely quiet time together.  I guess I’m feeling like the Rabbit Whisperer!

Shine On!

xo

Affected By the Moon

I know of many people who are affected by the moon and its cycles, not to mention eclipses, astrological changes and the equinoxes.  As we begin to move from 3D to 5D, there’s an increase in energetic shifts and for some of us, we are sensitive to the changes.  Are you one of them as well?

I’ve seen it in my family members who are more confused recently.  I’ve seen it in horseback riding as my trusty Ty was out of sorts when I rode him this week.  I’ve seen it with our pets as they are more on edge and needier than usual.

In chatting with friends lately, it seems that the surge of instability and sensitivity of our moods has increased lately.  A quickening in anger and frustration along with tearful grieving seem to ebb and flow into normally calm people at a moment’s notice without warning.  Not to mention those who are on either end of the spectrum emotionally.  It’s like the energy in the world is fluctuating at such dramatic heights and dips that there’s a storm brewing and we need to seek shelter and balance in our lives.  With the recent full moon, the lack of love and understanding is causing much unrest and balance is desperately needed.

So if you’re feeling lost at sea lately, you’re not alone.  But how do you anchor yourself with balance and love to be the port to help others who are tossed in the turmoil?

Meditation helps.  Calm interaction with others is necessary.  Fear intensifies the messy storm so steer clear and send out your heartlights first before engaging with others who show even the subtlest signs of being affected negatively by the energetic storms brewing now.  Rest your body, mind and soul.  Nourish them all with higher vibrations and associate yourself with those who embrace love, understanding and kindness.  Hold closely your loving soul family members.  Reach out when you’re feeling low.  Take the necessary time when you’re feeling depleted so that you can recharge your heartlight.  If you’re suffering, reach out to someone who cares and allow them to help you.  But please, do not use your suffering to make them suffer along with you.  Allow them to lift you.  Don’t drag them into the negativity.

Pray.  Listen to spiritual music.  Eat heart healthy meals.  Drink plenty of water.  Stay away from negatively charged beverages/foods such as alcohol.  You don’t need to add to what may be negatively churning up in you to be affected even more by drinking or over-eating.

Exercise.  Commune with Nature.  Read something that makes you feel good.  Watch a feel good show. Spend some quality time alone gardening or writing in your journal.  Sing music that makes you smile and uplifts your mood.  Spend time with your family and pets.  There’s nothing better than a heartfelt hug to shift your mood.  There’s also what we call fur therapy (petting your sweet pets) and absorbing their peaceful energy into your heart.

Don’t be tempted to start a fight with someone else whom you’ve been meaning to give a piece of your mind.  It won’t fare well for either of you.  Stay clear from anxiety issues.

We are riding out the fluctuations of energy changes as they open up to a myriad of possibilities in the near future.  So relax into the experience.  Steer yourself into calm waters and do your best to enjoy the ride.

Shine On!

xo

 

 

 

Past Experiences Do Not Dictate The Outcome Of The Present One

When similar situations repeat themselves, sometimes we can go into a mind spasm.  We relive the past in the present situation, mindlessly worrying that the outcome of the present situation could be the same as the ending of the past one.  I know I’m writing generally here because frankly, the situation could be anything that you’ve endured.

But there’s that trigger, that Oh my gosh! realization that we’ve passed this way before in the past.  I tried to put it out of my reasoning mind, knowing that as before, I am doing the best I can with the resources I have.  But there’s that little worrisome thought that this time may repeat the last one’s ending.  Mindful of not wanting the same results, I pushed away the thoughts, trying to reason my way out of not manifesting the past again.  Because I don’t want what happened in the past to repeat itself.  Yet, I couldn’t shake the fear.

So I rechecked the facts, because my need for control, especially now, is fierce.  All seems well at this time which is good.  But in talking with a kind friend, I realized I was beating myself up internally for feeling as if the past could repeat itself and I was helpless to change what may be the outcome again this time.

When she parroted the situation back to me, as I listened to my own situation but in her voice (as if she were me), compassion filled my heart and I cried.  I realized that I needed to have compassion for myself and for my own feelings in this situation.  I understood that pushing off the absurdity of the situation repeating the past with the same ending wasn’t a ludicrous thought that I had to push away.  I understood that it was a natural thought process that if all lined up as it had previously (which is certainly possible), the ending could be the same.  I struggled with the thought, talking back and forth with my friend as we processed the scenario.  When we were finished talking, I realized what I already knew.  I can only do my best with my own resources and it’s in God’s hands.

I have to be content with that knowledge and find peace within me.  Because at this point, the situation is stable and not showing signs of further chaos, but the threat is real.  It’s just a question of if it’s here or not.

I think perhaps PTSD may be in varying degrees something that we endure over a lifetime when repeated similar situations occur.  Fear and past knowledge often make it difficult when we feel helpless.  So how do we overcome those aching worries?

We need to find compassion for ourselves for even going to that dark place of fear instead of tamping it down and turning away from it.  When I exposed the fear to the light with the help of my trusted friend, I cried and released some of the traumatic fear I was holding for the present situation.  With the tearful release, I was able to ground myself again in the knowledge that I am doing the best I can and only time will tell the actual results.  That gave me a small dose of peace for which I’m ever grateful.

Finding peace is precious and priceless as we endure stressful situations.  We all experience life lessons in different ways.  What I’ve found is that in being love, sending love, and wrapping us all in love, we know that love shines our heartlights into the darkness of fear based thoughts.

I’m not bringing that fear into my thoughts anymore.  I know I can flow with whatever may be on my path as long as I continue to stand in the light and not in the darkness.  Please keep shining your heartlights dear friends!  I can see them and they give me great comfort!

Shine On!

xo

Finding A Way To Pamper Myself

What a lovely word to start a Sunday, don’t you think?  It’s a day of rest and a perfect time to pamper yourself.  How do you pamper yourself?

I had thought about taking a nice Epsom salt bath today, but that is not to be.  You see, I started smelling what I thought was a gas leak this morning when I went to take the garbage out.  It was intermittent so I wasn’t too concerned and because there’s a decaying animal smell as well (which I thought was my garbage, but it’s been confirmed that it’s not!), my smeller was off.

After talking with a good friend this morning, I decided to call the gas company just in case..  The kind man who came out told me that I was smelling propane and not gas.  Wow!  I guess my nose was right, but not completely specific.  The man found that the propane tank for the grill was leaking and turned it off and disconnected it for me.  I don’t use the grill so I had no idea.  While he was here, I asked him to come down to the basement just to check the gas line etc.  Surprisingly, he found 3 gas leaks.  I’m ever so grateful that the Universe and God were helping me by making the propane tank leak because otherwise I would have never known that the gas in the basement was leaking.

So he turned off the gas in the house and I called the landlords who said they would get someone over.  In the meantime, no hot water for me, no cooking on the stove and no grilling, not to mention, no laundry because I have a gas dryer.  And don’t you know it, I didn’t take the clothes out of the dryer last night and now they’re wrinkled!  Can you say, UGH??!!  I dislike ironing!

So how can I pamper myself today?  I guess a warm shower is out of the question, so I think I may just take a nap.  I know the gas is turned off so there’s no danger of me not waking up.  I think I’ll pamper myself with a nice long nap and now that I can’t cook dinner, I will have to order out!  Yippee!

I always have to find the good in any situation!  That’s the blessing of being a girl who views life with a glass 1/2 full!

I hope you take some time today to pamper yourself!

Shine On!

xo

via Daily Prompt: Pamper

I Just Can’t Remember

I saw this posted on a friend’s Facebook page today.  What a poignant reminder!

With Alzheimer’s, people don’t forget how much they love you or how much you mean to them.  Sometimes it’s just that they don’t remember the specifics.  When I try to put myself in the mind of someone with memory loss, this is how I imagine I would feel.

To spend quality time with someone who loves you is a precious gift.  No matter who you believe they are, you are at peace feeling the love and comfort that you have with them.

Alzheimer’s is a great reminder to find The Presents of Presence in every moment.  Many times, those with memory loss live in the present moment and as long as we stay in the happy flow, all is well.  It’s when we dip into the past or sadness that things become a bit complicated.  I think it’s a choice to live in the present and to enjoy that priceless moment of being with someone we love and sharing that time together.

It’s an important lesson I’ve learned through being involved with those in memory care facilities.  With memory loss, life is stripped down to the bare minimum – health, food, clothing, shelter, love, kindness, dignity, caring, honesty, gratitude and blessings are what count.  Designer goods, class distinctions, holding grudges and all that vibrates at lower frequencies isn’t important.

What matters is love, plain and simple.

Shine On!

xo

 

 

 

 

Via FB post from a friend.

 

The Benefits In Troubles and Challenges

If you read the title of my post today and scoffed, I don’t blame you.  When I wrote it, I scoffed a bit too because frankly, who wants to be grateful for troubles and challenges?  Heck, those are things we shy away from, even run from as fast as possible!

Who is their right mind would say there are benefits in troubles and challenges?

Me!  And maybe even you?!

Because I’ve endured quite a few, (cancer, divorce, family with Alzheimer’s and Dementia, death of family, just to name a few), I can attest to their benefits (of course, this is AFTER they happened).  After the fact, we can see how individual challenges make us grow and strengthen us.  The challenges force us, sometimes unwillingly, to look at our lives with a different perspective.  They inspire us to deep deeper into ourselves to find the strength, the courage, and the inspiration to get through the difficult times.  We find out what we are really made of when we have challenges in life.  We are offered choices on life’s path and the beauty that we can choose again at any time makes life interesting.  Challenges and growth opportunities allow us to see how far we’ve come in our lives.

We can see troubles and challenges as building blocks on the road to life.  Our ability to endure them and to triumph over them (or to not) shapes us in different ways.  We enable our innate personality traits to be tweaked.  We learn new ways of coping.  We tune our minds into new avenues of solutions.  We can make new friends who open our eyes to finding peace in stressful situations.

The potential for growth, mentally, emotionally and psychologically during troubles and challenges can be exponential.  True, it can be maddening and frustrating as heck to have to deal with difficulties, but the benefits in the end, can outweigh the discomforts.

I know, you are probably thinking that I just don’t understand your troubles and challenges and you are right.  We all have our own path, but as I have found, they sometimes intersect and we can walk a path together with a friend (or a stranger who becomes a friend) and we can help each other, and support each other as we move through the tough times.

At least that’s been my experience throughout this lifetime.  I find that the higher power in my life, call it what you may, God, Universe, Infinite Spirit, your own higher power – helps me along the way through the hard times by planting strangers disguised as angels, friends, synchronizations, coincidences, etc. in order to help me overcome whatever is holding me back.  These in turn encourage me to grow, to learn and to accept what previously I may have deemed unacceptable.  But in the long run, I know that they were necessary growth spurts to get to me to where I am now.

It’s hard to believe for some of us that there’s a light at the end of a dark tunnel and that in the end, all the hard times were worth the changes that were hard won.  It’s mind-blowing at times that we can see in hindsight the benefits that come after enduring these life lessons.

But they are there.  Truly, they are there.

So please, if you are wondering if it’s karma or back luck or whatever you are thinking in order to blame the bad that’s going on in your life right now, just stop.  Accept it.  Keep going through it and move on.

That light at the end of the tunnel is beckoning you with sunshine!  Come on, hold my hand.  I’ll walk the path with you!

Shine On!

xo

 

 

Cancer Changed Me

Hope ~ Strength ~ Power ~ Belief ~ Courage ~ Honor ~ Determination

I have been told that cancer changed me.  Indeed, it wasn’t said it in the nicest of ways.  In fact, it was taken as a disparaging comment and I was appalled by the off-hand comment.  My first reaction was to defend myself at the time, to show how cancer didn’t change me.  But I left well-enough alone and decided to say nothing.  However, I was hurt by the retort.

Had cancer really changed me?

The question mulled in my head for days and many sleepless nights, more than I’d like to admit, but it’s true.  I’ve written how cancer changes you enough times in this blog to know that the reality is – YES, cancer changes most of us.  It has to, or we wouldn’t still be here.  For we have seen into the yawning mouth of our own demise, endured the most feared emotions and have come out of it alive, so far.  Looking at your own potential death does change you.

It makes you more aware for the most part.  Some of us now see with finite definition that life is short and there are no guarantees how much time we have on this earth.  We become grateful for the beauty in nature, for the simple pleasures that kindness brings and for a real, loving hug which can cure many ills.  We look to connect with others more because we know what it’s like to feel alone.  We share our stories, encourage each other and find the courage to be who we authentically are!  We smile when we are tired.  We work hard to overcome obstacles and to be there for others, even when we feel depleted.  We take that extra moment to smile and to enjoy goodness when it comes into our lives.  We are grateful for the support that we have been given and we look to support others to continue the flow of goodness.  We share tips to help others and happily receive tips to make our lives easier.

We know that all the money in the world, with all the frivolities are fleeting and really don’t mean a damn when death comes knocking at our door.  It’s that silence between ourselves and our maker (or our beliefs) in the quiet of the night that counts.  It’s regarding peace within as a precious gift, time spent with loved ones and a centered calm in which to retreat when life becomes hard.  It’s the voice within the stillness which speaks of love, gratitude, peace with ourselves and others and God.

Yes, cancer changed me.  That’s for sure.  Perhaps it was the misunderstanding of me that caused this person to spout the ‘dig’ as I took it.  Sometimes it takes a loss for us to be humble and perhaps there will be people who simply never understand.  And that’s ok with me.

I am me, authentically me.  I make mistakes, I ask for forgiveness and I forgive.  I choose to live in a state of peace within when I can, but I am always evolving, ever growing and yet, trying to do all things with love.  I intend to do my best, at any given moment, but I’m human.  I’m a work in progress.  Aren’t we all?

What’s precious to me in my life is love, kindness and connections and I strive every day to live with those three precious gems in my life.  Cancer made me a better person by giving me so many lessons in my life.  I’ve learned so much from cancer, even though I never wanted to endure that disease.  Looking back on my life, I realize that I am who I am today because of cancer.  Even if others don’t understand me, it’s ok now.  I’m at peace and I’m ever grateful for the peace within me.

Shine On!

xo

Loving Someone With Alzheimer’s

 

I have two close family members with Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia.  Although we have been walking this path for over two years, the decline is beginning to show the ravages of the disease.  It’s a normal process I’m told that there are declines, progression of the disease and plateaus.  As with many diseases, its course is unpredictable and unfortunately, non-reversible.

I have made many friends through this journey.  Today I was speaking with another daughter of a Mom with Alzheimer’s.  Commiserating about our loved ones’ situations, we found solace in sharing our feelings about the disease without a cure.  A disease which is documented to be exponentially growing in the coming years, with the ability to even touch our own lives since many times, it is genetically carried.

How mind-blowing is that?  Yes, pun intended.

I read other bloggers who are touched by these diseases.  Caretakers, patients as well as doctors who are dedicated to finding a cure and making life better for those afflicted by this disease and their loved ones who wrestle heart-breakingly with the changes that come as the diseases progress.

Of course, I have much empathy and compassion for those who endure this disease, including my loved ones.  How could I not when I see as they move along this path?  I’m not saying it isn’t confusing or frustrating for those who have the diseases because I know that it is and frankly, I fear that it may strike me one day as well.  So I find myself always trying to go with the flow, to assure my loved ones that they are safe, all is well and to make sure that their lives are as lovely as I can make them.  And that sometimes, in itself, is a full time job.

But every once in awhile, there comes a time when it feels unbearable.  To watch a loved one’s mind slip away is heart-wrenching and I feel so incompetent and powerless to make things better for them.  When there come personality changes which may or may not last for long, but still sting because my loved ones perseverate over something or get angry because of something they believe (which may or may not be true), it’s hard to handle.  It’s difficult to manage and to let go of what is being said because in my heart, I know she doesn’t really mean what she is saying as she just doesn’t know because she has this disease.  But the words and the feelings, sting and pierce my heart anyway.  Probably because I still want her to be who I remember fondly and not the grouchy person who is so angry.

It has been said that when the full moon comes, our minds often are affected and surely, with this disease, I have found that theory to be true.  The coming full moon and eclipse may even be a double whammy in memory care facilities world-wide.  Who knows?

In any case, thank you for reading as the road through aging, isn’t for sissies, no matter how old you are!

Shine On!

xo

 

Buddha says…

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,

deserve your love and affection.”

– Buddha

I recently found this quote and found it a helpful reminder to myself, so I thought I’d share it with you.  In the hustle and bustle of life, we sometimes forget to love and nurture ourselves.  With all of the outside responsibilities, we soldier on, leaving ourselves behind.  We need to give ourselves, the same loving attention that we freely give to others.

So today, please do something nice for yourself ~ nurture yourself with a few moments of peace, wrap your arms around yourself and feel the comforting love of kindness.  Breathe in the sweet tranquility and feel yourself awaken to love and affection.

Shine On!

xo