Tag Archive | friendship

Friendship Lifts Us

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“The circles of women around us

weave invisible nets of love

that carry us when we’re weak

and sing with us when we are strong.”

A long time friend’s Mom passed away recently.  As the text went out to all the girls, letting us know, we rallied as we often do in the face of sadness.  Exactly one month later, we received the news that her Dad passed away.  Both parents in such a short period of time is devastating to me.  I can’t even imagine her pain and sadness.

We all feel her pain for we have parents too.  Some of us still have parents living and others have mourned the loss of our parents’ demises in all different forms.  But what keeps us together is the bond of friendship we share.

I find it interesting that the group who surrounds my friend is a mixture of girls from high school, but not all of us were close in high school.  But the willingness to be there for someone else in their time of need supersedes whatever our relationships once were (and there is even someone in the group who didn’t really know her, but yet is a staunch supporter of her in this time of need because she understands how it feels).

How much of a blessing is that?

So today I ask that you reach out, gather around, bond and connect with people.  Shine your heartlights.  Hold hands in friendship.  Be still.  Be kind.  Listen with an open heart.  Be the loving souls you are please.  I think our world could use a bit more of that everyday.

Shine On!

xo

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My Friend Lost Her Mom

myfriendlosthermom

A friend of mine’s Mom recently passed away.  Today is the funeral.  It will be hard to say goodbye to a sweet, kind woman who lovingly raised her  family and whom I knew well.

When we lose a parent, no matter the relationship, it’s hard.  On many levels, it’s complicated and the tears that fall are mixed with so many emotions.  Even though we may know that the end is coming, it is still seemingly a shock to us when it happens and we’re left broken.  Even when one can say, She lived a good life and it was time for her to go home to God, it doesn’t change the fact that she has passed away and is no longer here on earth.  I don’t like to hear that saying.  I can’t help myself.  I know people mean well when they say it, but it still just feels wrong to me for some sensitive reason that I don’t think I can actually name.

I’ve lost a parent so I understand and now at this age, other friends have lost parents as well.  So we have formed a group of parentless adult children who are helping each other to endure the sadness.  We support each other.  We hug with the understanding of how it feels.  We help each other through the hard times.

Isn’t that what life is about?

Hug your loved ones today please…

Shine On!

xo

 

Rabbit Rabbit With Clover

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I have a bunny whom I met when I first moved into the house.  He was a small brown rabbit, a baby.  I never saw him with any other bunnies.  We got used to each other over time and he has gotten to the point where he doesn’t run from me, although he doesn’t come near me either.  But we can sit companionably nearby whenever we meet.

He’s been sleeping under my porch as I have seen him hopping out from under it in the mornings which made me wonder – why?  I thought that bunnies lived in burrows.  But a good friend (thanks Mark!) told me that it’s the boy bunnies who tend to live above ground, leaving the momma and her babies to stay safely in the burrows.  So that makes sense to me and it makes me grateful for my porch which offers him shelter during the stormy weather.

I named my bunny Clover and although I don’t have a new photo of him to show you, you’ve seen him before here, and here .

Being that today is March 1st and our special Rabbit Rabbit, White Rabbit, White Rabbit day, I thought it fitting to share my Clover with you!

May your month of March be filled with love, light and healing —- and LUCK!

Shine On!

xo

Making Friends Through Blogging

makefriends

I like my friends like I like my M&M candies.  (My old English teacher would have hated that sentence because for a full year he wouldn’t let us use the work like!)  Sorry, but I couldn’t help getting off task for a moment…ahem…let me begin again.

I don’t care about your candy coated color, I just care that you are sweet inside.  Oh boy, does that sound goofy when I reread it!  But it’s true.  Honestly.  That’s why I love blogging.  We meet people from all over the world and what’s the tie that binds us?  Blogging.  Being kind to others.  Taking the time to read someone else’s work / life / poetry / photography / philosophy /short stories, etc.  Blogging unites us in ways that we may not have had the chance to bond.  I’ve met hundreds of bloggers and many hold a treasured place in my heart, as real as my own soul family, even though we’ve never met in person.  With technology these days, this is not a remote possibility anymore.  It’s factual.  It’s friendship without borders.  It’s friendship through blogging and making global connections.

We share our lives through blogging and through those connections, we become friends.  Well, maybe better said virtual friends, but friends all the same.  It’s funny how some of us now talk on the phone, text and email as well as comment on each other’s blogs.  It’s a community of sorts with blogging friendships.  We’ve shared triumphs, failures and lessons learned.  We’ve shared advice, companionship and understanding.  We’ve shared good times and bad times and even been there for each other when we’re grieving through life’s hurts.  We’ve shared heartfelt hugs, prayers and love.  We’ve shared inspirational tidbits, learned new things and have grown our minds, hearts and souls by opening ourselves to others’ points of view.  How awesome is blogging when we use it universally for positivity and for connecting with others!

Your blogs entice me to learn.  You inspire me to be a better person.  Your photography makes me smile.  Your poetry makes me feel deeply.  Your camaraderie promotes peace and connections.  Your heartlights shine brilliantly and I am truly grateful!

I just want to thank you all for being exactly who you are!

The perfect M&Ms who sweeten my days!

Shine On!

xo

Morning Has Broken

morning

A new year.  A new day.  A new beginning.  So much that is new, but what comes with a beginning, also encompasses an ending.  Sometimes, we have a hard time of letting go of the ending and thus, we can’t really and truly begin until we release what holds us back.  We mourn for the loss of what was or what could be, spending valuable time hoping and wishing for a change.  This does not serve us unfortunately, but we do need to grieve for a bit to honor what was and what could have been if situations were different.

Then we move on…

Embrace your new beginnings.  Allow the excitement and enthusiasm which accompanies the new to flourish in your heart, mind and soul.  Take the lessons from the past with you as you step onto a new year’s path of life.  Begin again with love, kindness and compassion in your heart.  Do not dwell on what was, but instead look at the past as a gift for it served you well and got you to this point.  Let go of your past.

Breathe in possibility.  A new chapter awaits you.  A fresh page on which to write your hopes and dreams for 2018.  Every day we have a fresh start just waiting for us to notice.  Every moment can be a new beginning, not just because a new day dawns or a new year begins.

What is it that you want for yourself?

You are powerful.  I believe in you.

Take my hand.  Together we can build a tapestry which shines like the sun at dawn!

Shine On!

xo

Morning Has Broken was one of my Dad’s favorite songs and I heard it this morning, perfectly timed.  So I thought I’d share with you!

 

When You Find Yourself Parenting Your Parents

whenyoufindyourselfparentingyourparents

I have a few friends who are now entering a new phase of adulthood which is when you are now charged with parenting your own parents or elderly family members.  It happens to many of us as we reach middle age.  My friends are just at the beginnings of that journey and I am glad to be here to help them and to help anyone else who needs it.  Because, I know how hard it is to watch the changes that occur as our parents get older.  Sometimes it starts sneakily and at others, it feels as if the drastic changes happen overnight.  But not matter how it happens, it’s hard for all involved.

The reversal of roles from child to parenting our parents can be a rocky road to navigate.  Some parents have a tough time relinquishing control to their children and fight the aging process with acute belligerence.  I can imagine how hard it is to realize even a little bit that we aren’t as ‘with it’ as we once were, that we get confused at times and that our children are telling us what to do when that was our job.  It’s a slippery slope to navigate as a child who now needs to parent our own parents.  We must be patient as the changes occur and be kind, even when our best intended and even wise suggestions are met with disapproval.

It’s hard to realize that our parents aren’t as healthy, mentally and physically as they once were and that we cannot rely upon them as children anymore.  It’s a tough realization, but very necessary.  There’s a mourning that comes with that realization for ourselves and our parents if they can realize it.  Bumps in the road are certain as this next phase begins.

Perhaps you’re realizing that your parents are weakening mentally and physically.  They aren’t as spry as they used to be and need help walking or doing their normal routines.  Perhaps you’re noticing that they are getting a bit confused at times or forgetting what they once readily knew.  Or perhaps they are slurring their words a bit or not able to remember to pay the bills on time or to take out the garbage or to eat routinely.

Please, come from a place of love and kindness as you navigate this new phase.  Be helpful and try to keep your frustrations outwardly to a minimum.  Hold your parents closer than you may have in the past and give them love.  Let them know you are there to be helpful and not to take over entirely (unless it’s now truly needed).  Find ways in which to help them as these beginning stages unfold.  Keep a keen eye on things as it progresses and be aware that subtle changes can grow quickly into full on tragedy if not monitored.

I am not trying to scare you, but I need to warn you.  I have seen it happen.  Trauma can exacerbate the the changes more quickly and speed up the need to get more help for your parents.

You may even see personality changes occur as they decline mentally and physically.  Agitation is common as their frustration levels increase (and yours do too).  It’s normal, so please take care of yourself and them with kindness and patience in your heart, mind and actions.

I’m here if you need a friend.  I’ve been on this path for quite a long time with several family members.  It’s not easy, but when you understand that you are not alone on this journey, it helps to ease the pain.  Being supported by someone who’s been there helps and I would like to give back in honor of those who helped me through the journey, so I’m here for you.

Shine On!

xo

 

Make Time For People

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Sometimes we need to drop everything and pay attention to the people around us.  Cleaning can be done at any time, but people, when in need, need us now, not when it’s more convenient.  Have you ever had a friend just call to chat because they needed a kind listener, but you’ve got plans to fix up your home, clean out your closets or such and you’re torn between getting done what’s on your list or connecting with them?

You know what the heartfelt decision is, right?

People first.

Did I even need to tell you that?  Or did you already innately know the answer? 

I think we get so caught up in our lives that we don’t make time for those who may need us, but don’t want to bother anyone with their feelings of sadness.  That tentative, I’m just calling to say hi, can sometimes be a disguise to a more needy version of help me, I’m falling apart.  It is with discretion that we need to answer those types of calls because we never know what someone else is going through in their lives.

Sadness can be masked in so many different ways.  Superwomen/Supermen that we are, we don’t share when times get tough for fear of gossip or being seen as weak or worrying what someone will think when sharing our deepest secrets.  But there comes a time when we need to share with a trusted friend.

There was a saying going around on Facebook recently.  Due to a recent suicide in our community, it went like this:

My door is always open. My house is safe. Coffee can be on in minutes, and the kitchen table is a place of peace and non-judgment. Anyone who needs to chat is welcome anytime. It’s no good suffering in silence. I have food in the fridge, coffee and tea in the cabinet, and something stronger if you need it. Listening ears, and shoulders to cry on. I will always be available…you are always welcome!! This is an old value that has been lost to technology…a text, facetime, or emoji is not the equivalent! (but can still help/is better than not reaching out at all),  You are never really alone and suicide is never the answer.
please copy and re-post
#SuicideAwareness #MentalHealthAwareness
1-800-273-8255

There’s something touching with this post that I read countless times.  I just hope for heaven’s sake that people just aren’t copying/pasting and not meaning what they say.  For there are times in all of our lives when we just need a friend to lean on.

We recently had a young person pass away by suicide which rocked the community.  Love and support filled post after post which made my heart sad because I wished he had been able to get help from someone.  I know that sometimes there is not enough help for certain situations, but being me, I always hope for healing, for peace and for love.  And I know you do too.

So the next time you get an inconvenient offer for coffee or a drink or a walk, please say yes.  There are many hours in the day to get your list checked off, but you may be the much needed missing piece for healing in someone else’s day.

Shine On!

xo