Tag Archive | friendship

I’m Fine

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The average person tells 4 lies a day

or 1460 a year;

a total of 86,700 by the age of 60. 

And the most common lie is:

I’m fine.

How many of us go about our day telling ourselves and anyone else who asks, “I’m fine,” even when we know we aren’t.  Denying the state of unrest within us doesn’t do anyone else any good, least of all ourselves.

Sure there are those of us who think we are inner powerhouses, who believe innately that we can work through the chaos and if we just put a little more effort into it, we can survive.  We continue to take each hurdle as it comes and keep moving forward, even when our body, mind, heart and soul yearn to rest.  But there’s no rest when we are amidst chaos.  We can’t let someone else down, nor ourselves.  We have to keep on, keeping on, in order to make it through, putting our best foot forward, because we are the responsible ones.  We are the ones whom everyone else is counting on and we just can’t let them down, nor can we face that sorry fact that we need help where we are.

If we were observant, we would face the truth and tell ourselves to reach out and we would know in our hearts that there are people who can and would help us.  Sometimes we do reach out, but if the person to whom we reach out can’t help us or won’t help us, we are doubly determined to just do it alone.  And so goes on that vicious circle of “I’m fine.”

But honestly. we are not alone.  You are not alone, nor am I.

And at times, we are certainly, NOT FINE.

Sure, I could tell you to rest and allow the weight of the world to fall off your shoulders at night so that you could sleep in peace.  You could hang your worries on a branch and give them over to God.  You could pray for solutions and look for signs from above.  You could reach out to friends and family for support or to trained professionals for guidance.  You could hire someone to do what it is you are so determined to do yourself.  It all depends on what is weighing you down and what is not fine.

But will you do that?

It’s a choice to get help when things are chaotic (and even when they aren’t).  It’s a letting go of the control and of the belief that I can do it.  It’s dropping the role that you’ve lead your entire life of being the responsible one and taking on obligations that maybe weren’t really even yours in the first place, but because nobody else stepped up, you did.

There will be those who criticize you if you choose to allow yourself to honestly say, “I’m not fine.”  There will be those who simply don’t understand what’s so hard for you when they look from the outside with their perception into your life.  There are those who will turn their backs and walk away.  Then there will be those who stay, who hold your hand, listen and pick up a shovel to help you get rid of the mess.

Those are the ones I want at my side.  What about you?

Trust in those who hold your hand with a loving heart space.  Allow their kindness, generosity and love to heal you, to help you and to ease the burdens you carry.  Trust in God that He can help you through these tough times.  And for goodness sake, get rid of the I’m fine, except when you know it will fall on deaf ears or when you really mean it.  Trust in I’m not fine, with those whose hearts are open to yours.

So if you’re asking me, “I’m not fine” today, but as Scarlett O’Hara once said, “Tomorrow is another day.”

How are you?

Shine On!

xo

Le Petit Prince ~ What does that mean – Tame?

lepetitprince

The Little Prince

By  Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Dear friends, have you read this book?  I just finished it for the first time and I find it fascinatingly chock full of mini life lessons.  Although I’m not altogether sure I understand everything the author is trying to relay to us as grown-ups, there were passages which I found to be worthy of further thought.  I would love to hear your thoughts on the book if you have read it so that I can learn from your experience.

For example, on relationships:

“I am looking for friends. What does that mean — tame?”

“It is an act too often neglected,” said the fox. “It means to establish ties.”

“To establish ties?”

“Just that,” said the fox. “To me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. And I have no need of you. And you, on your part, have no need of me. To you I am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. But if you tame me, then we shall need each other. To me, you will be unique in all the world. To you, I shall be unique in all the world….”

and…

“So the little prince tamed the fox. And when the hour of his departure drew near–

“Ah,” said the fox, “I shall cry.”

“It is your own fault,” said the little prince. “I never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you . . .”

“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.

“But now you are going to cry!” said the little prince.

“Yes, that is so,” said the fox.

“Then it has done you no good at all!”

“It has done me good,” said the fox, “because of the color of the wheat fields.”

and…

“You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”

and..

“One runs the risk of weeping a little, if one lets himself be tamed.”

and…

“I remembered the fox. One runs the risk of crying a bit if one allows oneself to be tamed.”

As in yesterday’s post about love, I guess I am running on a theme these past few days.  There are those who swear off closeness with others when they’ve been hurt.  They are reminded all too often that even though there is a precious gift in connecting with someone, taming, as in this story, there is weeping when ‘one lets himself be tamed’ as well.  We allow our souls to connect for a time and when/if they become dislodged and disconnected, we weep for the hurt.  It happens often in many different types of relationships, as you may understand from personal experience.  It needn’t be a love relationship such as a marriage or dating, although that is hard when it ends.  There can be other types of separations, disconnections, that can be just as heartbreaking.  Friendships and family relationships can grow apart or even break altogether, having served the life duration of the relationship and still, there is that bit of crying when the ties are severed.  It’s a part of relationships sometimes, that they have a time limit, a life cycle so to speak.  We grow together, tame each other by feeling that special closeness and then, through experiences, we separate and move on.  Sometimes neither person wants to do this, but perhaps circumstances are not in our favor.

I welcome the weeping at the end, for it means that the relationship was special, unique and one that I shan’t forget.  Like the fox who is reminded of The Little Prince when he sees the golden wheat, I know in my heart, that it has done me good.

How about you?

Shine On!

xo

Saying Goodbye To A Loved One

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As I climbed into bed last night, laid my weary head and heart on the soft down pillow, I sighed deeply.  Such a day full of emotion and perseverance that frankly, I was exhausted.  I closed my eyes and began to pray for peace as I often do.  In that quiet moment of reverie, I surrendered.  I had done all that I could, pushed through the limits and swallowed and alternatively let go of many tears.  But as I prayed, it was in gratitude for all of the angels who attended this day.

When a loved one passes, it is never easy for those left behind.  After the initial shock, because even when we know they are sick, it is still a shock to know that they have passed, there was work to be done, papers to be signed, a funeral home to be called, family and friends to be notified and a personal life of responsibility to continue living, all at the same time.  It’s a day of moving through the grief in order to process the necessities that need to be done, all the while, alternatively stifling and letting out the grief of losing a loved one.  Tears poured from my eyes at times and quiet sobs escaped (probably not so quietly) as the reality hit me in waves.

Last night the epiphany which I knew already, hit me.  Why do we grieve when our loved one passes?  Some of us believe that their departed souls return home to God and I have to ask myself,  why aren’t I rejoicing that she is no longer in earthy life school, no longer suffering with a body which had grown old and desperately needed repair?  My answer was selfish – I wanted to be with her when she passed and hold her hand as she departed peacefully from this earth, onward and upward back home.  I wanted her to hear my voice telling her how much we loved her and although I tried to move mountains in plane travel plans, I was unable to get to her in time.  What brings my sad heart peace is that I know in my heart that she knew I loved her and she was not alone when she passed.  She had her pastor there, who by the grace of God, arrived only moments beforehand.  She had been visited by a dear friend of ours who had kissed her on the forehead and told her how much we all loved her.  At 88, she had lived a long life, on her own terms with lots of love in her heart and a dash of stubbornness which served her well.  She had brought much joy to the world by being a teacher who made a difference and who had received the joy and was gifted back by her students (especially Lisa).

This morning I awoke thinking of Aunt Mable and as tears poured down my face in the early dawn, house quiet, alone with my thoughts, I realized again, how short this life can be even when it lasts 88 years and how important making connections with others truly is.  Although I often write about connecting with others, I’m reminded yet again, how our legacy is in our connections and not in our earthly possessions.  I think it bears repeating.  Hearts connecting means more than material possessions as we flow to our next chapter.  The legacy of making a difference, accepting, helping, inspiring, encouraging and loving are pricelessly worth millions in spiritual wealth.

So this morning, I bow my head in honor of a life well-lived, an Aunt whom I loved and who loved me.  I know she is home again in Heaven, with her family and loved ones and she is remembered here by the loved ones and family she left behind.  Surely, her soul is leaping with joy to be pain-free, her brain free of the confines of dementia, and free of the bonds of life school.  Rest in peace, Aunt Mable.

Thank you dearest friends for allowing me to share this morning.  I needed to write.  May you have a lovely Saturday, making connections with all whom you meet and even if a simple smile passes between you and a stranger, let the love of humankind flow freely.

Shine On!

xo

Wishing You Love and Happiness

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Happy Valentine’s Day dear friends!

I wish you love and happiness today and always.  May you always remember how cherished you are to those who love you (and to me!) and how grateful and honored I feel to be connected with you!  May we send out kindness and love to those around us today and always.  May we all feel the infinite love of God, the Universe, and the Divine in every moment!  May we love ourselves and others.  May we cherish our connections (both past and present) and increase them exponentially every day by our kindness, generosity of spirit and gratitude.

May we remember how loved we are, every single moment of every single day.

You are loved, dear friends.

Shine On!

xo

 

When You Don’t Have A ‘Valentine’ To Love

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When you don’t have a ‘valentine’ to love on Valentine’s Day it can feel awkward, especially if in years past, you did have someone whom you loved, but for whatever reason, you are not together anymore.  Separations can be due to a variety of reasons which makes it hard when it seems like the whole world is celebrating a day of love with their sweetie.

But, I like to think of Valentine’s Day as a holiday for cherishing the relationships we have with others!  It doesn’t need to be only romantic love that we celebrate that day!  Not at all!  For me, since my circumstances have changed, I celebrate Valentine’s Day with gratitude for my children, my family, my soul family and my friends who have filled my life with love.  In fact, let’s celebrate Valentine’s Day together as you’re a part of my blogging family filled with love!  Thanks for being here with me.  I celebrate our connections today too!

So tomorrow, when the heart rises to meet the day, smile!  Greet the hearts and flowers day with gratitude for all of the love you have shared on your life’s journey!  Give thanks for the past loves, the present loves and look forward to the future loves!  But above all, enjoy the present love which envelopes your heart and soul today!  Enjoy the little kindnesses that are shown to you and smile to pass along those kindnesses as well.  We could have a lovefest here on Planet Earth if everyone, for just one day, loved all humankind.  Wouldn’t that be the very best Valentine’s Day ever?

So how about you?  How are you celebrating Valentine’s Day?

Shine On!

xo

The Last Time

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We never know when the last time will be.  There.  I said it or better, I wrote it.  It’s a fact that most of the time, we never know that this may be the last time for fill in the blank.

Look back on your life and you may find endings and beginnings that at precise time, you might have been unaware were endings and beginnings in the making.

For example, the last time you fed your baby a bottle or changed the diaper (because they started using a sippy cup or going ‘potty’ like a big kid).  Did you know that it would be last time for sure?  Perhaps you are relieved at this point, but maybe in the future, you will look longingly back at their childhood wondering where the time has flittered away?

We can say the same for all types of situations, circumstances and people.  There are a myriad of events that in hindsight we can deem ‘the last time’ which at the time, we didn’t know.

My point is simple:  be present in all of your experiences.  Enjoy this special moment even if it doesn’t feel special, but instead feels routine.  Not to fear ‘the last time’ but to know in your heart, peacefully in your soul, that if this distinct last time were really the last time, you have peace.

So kiss your loved ones hello and goodbye.  Make the extra effort to connect with people, places and animals.  Find that quiet loving presence in your heart and allow it to expand throughout your day.  Don’t allow an opportunity for kindness and connection to pass you by.  Sure, it takes effort to be present, but The Presents of Presence is most definitely worth it!

I’m a living example…and I know you are too!

Feel free to share your experiences with the last time.

Shine On!

xo

 

 

Unexpected Kindness…

unexpectedkindnessUnexpected kindness

is the most powerful,

least costly,

and most underrated agent

of human change.

~ Bob Kerrey

I recently had an old friend reach out to me.  She texted me, “I will take care of you,” in response to a concern of mine that we had been talking about that day.  In true text form, she added the emojis of pink double hearts and added, “love you.”

I don’t know why it hit me so hard that she replied out of the blue in that way, but it did.  To the core of my heartlight, her response, zinged me with a confetti of warmth, understanding, love and an overwhelming gratitude to her for her unexpected kindness.

Do you know what I mean?  Have you ever felt this way as well?

Sometimes, it’s the simplest offer of friendship and connection that helps us along the bumpy paths of life.  Knowing her, she simply reached out in kindness for that’s the type of person she is and she probably didn’t think twice about what she wrote to me as she is a kind-hearted loving human being and we have been friends for years, even though we don’t see each other too often.

I found the above image on Canva and just knew I had to share it today with you.  For you see, one small kindness delivered with a loving heart, can connect and raise up another’s heartlight.  My heart, even one day later, feels as if it is bursting with sunshine, hope, happiness, love and gratitude.

So today dear friends, I’m sharing her message with you, with the same loving heartlight…

I will take care of you…

Love you!

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  Today’s post is dedicated to E.S. ♥  Love you too!