Tag Archive | friendship

Making Friends Through Blogging

makefriends

I like my friends like I like my M&M candies.  (My old English teacher would have hated that sentence because for a full year he wouldn’t let us use the work like!)  Sorry, but I couldn’t help getting off task for a moment…ahem…let me begin again.

I don’t care about your candy coated color, I just care that you are sweet inside.  Oh boy, does that sound goofy when I reread it!  But it’s true.  Honestly.  That’s why I love blogging.  We meet people from all over the world and what’s the tie that binds us?  Blogging.  Being kind to others.  Taking the time to read someone else’s work / life / poetry / photography / philosophy /short stories, etc.  Blogging unites us in ways that we may not have had the chance to bond.  I’ve met hundreds of bloggers and many hold a treasured place in my heart, as real as my own soul family, even though we’ve never met in person.  With technology these days, this is not a remote possibility anymore.  It’s factual.  It’s friendship without borders.  It’s friendship through blogging and making global connections.

We share our lives through blogging and through those connections, we become friends.  Well, maybe better said virtual friends, but friends all the same.  It’s funny how some of us now talk on the phone, text and email as well as comment on each other’s blogs.  It’s a community of sorts with blogging friendships.  We’ve shared triumphs, failures and lessons learned.  We’ve shared advice, companionship and understanding.  We’ve shared good times and bad times and even been there for each other when we’re grieving through life’s hurts.  We’ve shared heartfelt hugs, prayers and love.  We’ve shared inspirational tidbits, learned new things and have grown our minds, hearts and souls by opening ourselves to others’ points of view.  How awesome is blogging when we use it universally for positivity and for connecting with others!

Your blogs entice me to learn.  You inspire me to be a better person.  Your photography makes me smile.  Your poetry makes me feel deeply.  Your camaraderie promotes peace and connections.  Your heartlights shine brilliantly and I am truly grateful!

I just want to thank you all for being exactly who you are!

The perfect M&Ms who sweeten my days!

Shine On!

xo

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Morning Has Broken

morning

A new year.  A new day.  A new beginning.  So much that is new, but what comes with a beginning, also encompasses an ending.  Sometimes, we have a hard time of letting go of the ending and thus, we can’t really and truly begin until we release what holds us back.  We mourn for the loss of what was or what could be, spending valuable time hoping and wishing for a change.  This does not serve us unfortunately, but we do need to grieve for a bit to honor what was and what could have been if situations were different.

Then we move on…

Embrace your new beginnings.  Allow the excitement and enthusiasm which accompanies the new to flourish in your heart, mind and soul.  Take the lessons from the past with you as you step onto a new year’s path of life.  Begin again with love, kindness and compassion in your heart.  Do not dwell on what was, but instead look at the past as a gift for it served you well and got you to this point.  Let go of your past.

Breathe in possibility.  A new chapter awaits you.  A fresh page on which to write your hopes and dreams for 2018.  Every day we have a fresh start just waiting for us to notice.  Every moment can be a new beginning, not just because a new day dawns or a new year begins.

What is it that you want for yourself?

You are powerful.  I believe in you.

Take my hand.  Together we can build a tapestry which shines like the sun at dawn!

Shine On!

xo

Morning Has Broken was one of my Dad’s favorite songs and I heard it this morning, perfectly timed.  So I thought I’d share with you!

 

When You Find Yourself Parenting Your Parents

whenyoufindyourselfparentingyourparents

I have a few friends who are now entering a new phase of adulthood which is when you are now charged with parenting your own parents or elderly family members.  It happens to many of us as we reach middle age.  My friends are just at the beginnings of that journey and I am glad to be here to help them and to help anyone else who needs it.  Because, I know how hard it is to watch the changes that occur as our parents get older.  Sometimes it starts sneakily and at others, it feels as if the drastic changes happen overnight.  But not matter how it happens, it’s hard for all involved.

The reversal of roles from child to parenting our parents can be a rocky road to navigate.  Some parents have a tough time relinquishing control to their children and fight the aging process with acute belligerence.  I can imagine how hard it is to realize even a little bit that we aren’t as ‘with it’ as we once were, that we get confused at times and that our children are telling us what to do when that was our job.  It’s a slippery slope to navigate as a child who now needs to parent our own parents.  We must be patient as the changes occur and be kind, even when our best intended and even wise suggestions are met with disapproval.

It’s hard to realize that our parents aren’t as healthy, mentally and physically as they once were and that we cannot rely upon them as children anymore.  It’s a tough realization, but very necessary.  There’s a mourning that comes with that realization for ourselves and our parents if they can realize it.  Bumps in the road are certain as this next phase begins.

Perhaps you’re realizing that your parents are weakening mentally and physically.  They aren’t as spry as they used to be and need help walking or doing their normal routines.  Perhaps you’re noticing that they are getting a bit confused at times or forgetting what they once readily knew.  Or perhaps they are slurring their words a bit or not able to remember to pay the bills on time or to take out the garbage or to eat routinely.

Please, come from a place of love and kindness as you navigate this new phase.  Be helpful and try to keep your frustrations outwardly to a minimum.  Hold your parents closer than you may have in the past and give them love.  Let them know you are there to be helpful and not to take over entirely (unless it’s now truly needed).  Find ways in which to help them as these beginning stages unfold.  Keep a keen eye on things as it progresses and be aware that subtle changes can grow quickly into full on tragedy if not monitored.

I am not trying to scare you, but I need to warn you.  I have seen it happen.  Trauma can exacerbate the the changes more quickly and speed up the need to get more help for your parents.

You may even see personality changes occur as they decline mentally and physically.  Agitation is common as their frustration levels increase (and yours do too).  It’s normal, so please take care of yourself and them with kindness and patience in your heart, mind and actions.

I’m here if you need a friend.  I’ve been on this path for quite a long time with several family members.  It’s not easy, but when you understand that you are not alone on this journey, it helps to ease the pain.  Being supported by someone who’s been there helps and I would like to give back in honor of those who helped me through the journey, so I’m here for you.

Shine On!

xo

 

Make Time For People

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Sometimes we need to drop everything and pay attention to the people around us.  Cleaning can be done at any time, but people, when in need, need us now, not when it’s more convenient.  Have you ever had a friend just call to chat because they needed a kind listener, but you’ve got plans to fix up your home, clean out your closets or such and you’re torn between getting done what’s on your list or connecting with them?

You know what the heartfelt decision is, right?

People first.

Did I even need to tell you that?  Or did you already innately know the answer? 

I think we get so caught up in our lives that we don’t make time for those who may need us, but don’t want to bother anyone with their feelings of sadness.  That tentative, I’m just calling to say hi, can sometimes be a disguise to a more needy version of help me, I’m falling apart.  It is with discretion that we need to answer those types of calls because we never know what someone else is going through in their lives.

Sadness can be masked in so many different ways.  Superwomen/Supermen that we are, we don’t share when times get tough for fear of gossip or being seen as weak or worrying what someone will think when sharing our deepest secrets.  But there comes a time when we need to share with a trusted friend.

There was a saying going around on Facebook recently.  Due to a recent suicide in our community, it went like this:

My door is always open. My house is safe. Coffee can be on in minutes, and the kitchen table is a place of peace and non-judgment. Anyone who needs to chat is welcome anytime. It’s no good suffering in silence. I have food in the fridge, coffee and tea in the cabinet, and something stronger if you need it. Listening ears, and shoulders to cry on. I will always be available…you are always welcome!! This is an old value that has been lost to technology…a text, facetime, or emoji is not the equivalent! (but can still help/is better than not reaching out at all),  You are never really alone and suicide is never the answer.
please copy and re-post
#SuicideAwareness #MentalHealthAwareness
1-800-273-8255

There’s something touching with this post that I read countless times.  I just hope for heaven’s sake that people just aren’t copying/pasting and not meaning what they say.  For there are times in all of our lives when we just need a friend to lean on.

We recently had a young person pass away by suicide which rocked the community.  Love and support filled post after post which made my heart sad because I wished he had been able to get help from someone.  I know that sometimes there is not enough help for certain situations, but being me, I always hope for healing, for peace and for love.  And I know you do too.

So the next time you get an inconvenient offer for coffee or a drink or a walk, please say yes.  There are many hours in the day to get your list checked off, but you may be the much needed missing piece for healing in someone else’s day.

Shine On!

xo

 

 

 

Sit With Me For Awhile

sitwithmeforawhile

Come sit with me for awhile.  Right here, dear one, on the bench.  Let us enjoy the sunshine on our faces and its glistening sparkles on the water.  Look up, see the leaves changing hue.  Fall is in the air.

I am well dear girl.  Looking down on you with joy in my heart.  You know I’m all around you always.  I am proud of you.  I support you.  I am here for you, even though you can’t see me.  My spirit lives with you and your darling sons.

I know what you’ve been through.  Did you feel me holding your hand when you were sobbing and feeling so bereft?  I was there in the quiet of the middle of the night when the tears were falling.  I was there when your wounded soul needed comfort.  Do you remember the prayers?  I heard them.  I am always listening.

Do you not see the beauty before you?  How the seasons have changed turning greens to golds and rubies?  Let go of the sadness before you.  Move on from the mourning and embrace the changes with your heart.  Like the leaves which let go from the branches, be free of what holds you back.  The ground is safe for you to land upon.  There are others there waiting for you to take that step forward with hope in your heart.

I’m holding your hand.

Walk with me.  Let the earth bond with your feet.  Feel it?  It’s solid, comforting and real.  A soft place to land for you.  Touch the grass.  It’s still fertile and green after the rains.

All is well dear girl.  I am here with you.  I will never leave your side.  Call upon me when you need me.  I am here to help.

You are loved.

Shine On!

xo

It’s Just The Circle Of Life

itsjustthecircleoflife

I don’t mean any disrespect when I write – It’s just the circle of life.  It’s more of a factual statement than one which diminishes the emotion of birth to death.  As humans, we have experienced our own birth and someday we will experience our own death.  We may even experience by proxy, the death of friends, family and loved ones.  As women, we may even experience the gift of giving birth.

As a breast cancer survivor, I have experienced the thought of death as well.  Perhaps it’s not just those of us with illnesses that know the darkness that shrouds the fear at death’s door.  But it becomes a rite of passage when we are diagnosed with a disease which is a known killer.  It’s how we deal with that threat that the disease can take our lives which varies, person to person.

There’s no right way to deal with a breast cancer diagnosis and each of us who have heard those words, ‘you have cancer’ can attest to the fact that our lives completely change in a moment.  Forevermore we live with the threat that it won’t be cured or that it will return with a vengeance.  We fear the cancer, the treatment and the cloud that perpetually hangs back, in our peripheral view for the rest of our lives.  We mourn the loss of good health that we once had.  We crumble in the dark late at night fearing the worst, yet hoping for the best, making promises to the Universe or to God with pleas for strength, for one more day, for a cure, for peace.

We endure pain in order to be cured, yet the psyche many times does not ever find peace again to heal our spiritual self.  I have seen people who have become broken shells of their former selves after a diagnosis, never to fully regain the momentum of life afterwards for the fear of the cancer returning never leaves us.  Even if we put it in the back of our minds or try to totally erase it from our view, its specter awaits, lurking for the next lump’s arrival, the next battery of tests that are not within normal range, the next procedure to investigate some abnormality in the body.  It doesn’t really ever end.

I am coming up on 16 years since I was diagnosed and I can attest that it never ends.  Sure, we can go on merrily with our lives, hoping our happy-go-lucky charade continues to not provoke questions from others as to our health status.  We can cry at night when things aren’t good, but nobody understands this unless you have endured it.  We can be strong when needed and mask our fears to the masses.  After awhile, we even believe ourselves until something happens to knock us off-kilter and wham, we are back again in the throes of fear and wondering if the circle of life is at its end.

I understand dear friends.  I truly do.  Even the word remission is not a peaceful feeling as it only masks the tingling sensation of peace for the moment and the trembling fear of if/when the other shoe will drop again.

I don’t know why I am writing this post today.  It seems to be flowing out of me at a supersonic speed.  My fingers type so quickly and yet I am not sure if I am even making sense.  I’ve had many scares over the years.  Tumor markers which are higher than normal, lumps that have to be biopsied, scary tests to endure all while knowing that could be in store.  Crying in the night or during the day when nobody’s home.  Feeling the whoosh of relief when the doctor proclaims it’s ok for now.  Reliving the nightmares of past experiences knowing I’m on my own.  It’s hard, but we can live through the experience and keep going.  That’s the common denominator really.  Keep waking up to a new day.  Nightfall is hardest I know – that dead of night overwhelming feeling which is only diminished by sleep.  And the realization as dawn comes that we must face the reality in our situation.  I’m here for you.  I have been there and I feel blessed that I am still here to walk with you when you need a friend.

The circle of life begins and ends in a momentous way – birth and death – bringing the light of our souls into the world and then allowing the extinguishing of our soul light to be free.

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  I’m fine, so no worries.  I don’t know why this post wrote itself today, but it did. xo

 

via Daily Prompt: Circle

We Help The People That Need Us

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When I wrote about Collateral Beauty before in my blog, I thought I was done.  But I felt a pull to write again.  I am a bit teary this morning, but I can’t explain why.  On the outside of my life, all is well and the pieces that in the past fell apart and broke, are mending.  Inside I feel a healing coming forth, like a flower bulb awakening after winter’s frost and pushing through the garden dirt towards the sun.

I am re-awakening from my life’s slumber.

Since the eclipse, I feel more profoundly these days.  Not like mood swings exactly.  Simply it’s that I feel such a deep connection to others, to Mother Nature and to all that is behind the veil.  No, I am not losing my mind.  I think it is emerging with knowledge, with knowing and uncovering from the mantle of fear and sadness which clothed me for so long and held down my spirit, my authentic self.

It is a slow process as I dig out from the ruins of my former life into the sunshine.  Bit by bit, stone by stone I am releasing what held me back, what I allowed to hold me back and freeing my soul from her immersion into solitude.

It isn’t easy this reawakening.  It tires me. Bursts of energy excite me and here and there a plateau seems to appear where I find respite for a bit.  Sometimes I drop a few steps from the plateau only to have to climb back up again to rest, but the journey is simple.  It requires letting go of the sandbags which held me down, the fears which pinned my soul into a box of belonging and the embracing of freedom to be me, without worry of judgement.

Emerging from a shell, a cocoon.

That’s where Collateral Beauty calls to me in movie form again.  Although our circumstances were different, the journey was similar.  Isn’t that the way it is with most connections?  At this time I have friends who are slowly losing family members to death and I feel as if we connect in a higher plane.  It is as if I am here to help them on their journey of accepting the physical loss of family because I have experienced it as well, numerous times now, in all different ways.

Please do something small with great love today.

Collateral Beauty Trailer 2

Shine On!

xo

This post is part of SoCS.