Old Man Winter Please Make Up Your Mind!

Sorry, Mother Goose, but I changed the rhyme:

It’s raining, it’s snowing,

    Old Man Winter’s snoring.

He got into bed

    And bumped his head

And couldn’t decide – rain or snow – in the morning.

I think Old Man Winter is confused.  Dare I say it?  One minute it’s raining, the next it’s snowing and then it’s raining/snowing at the same time.  Weathermen have a tough time these days trying to predict the seemingly unpredictable.  It’s been warmer this past week, but now with the full moon yesterday, the weather is acting crazy.  We’ve got snow on the ground, but also little lakes in the backyard as a result of the flooding from the rain/snow mix.

There have been so many weather surprises in the past few months and not just here.  Can you recall any period of time when we had so many different problems?  Fires and mudslides, earthquakes, hurricanes, tropical storms, and blizzard cyclones, just to name a few?  It’s like the weather and the world have been upended and nothing makes sense these days.

So how do we stay calm in the wake of these pop up storms and hard times?  I think we have to be agile and find a way to move quickly and easily through life’s ups and downs.  Go with the flow, but be prepared for the unthinkable.  Not in a fear based way, but with the inner knowledge that we can weather whatever comes our way.  We have inner strength, but sometimes we forget and feel helpless.  That’s where faith can help, prayer can ease the mind and restore that peace within that is here for us.

I’m not belittling any of the tragedies that have occurred recently or in the past or those that may come in our future.  I’m just acknowledging that these are tough times to weather (pun intended) and we need to bond together to help each other as we endure these changes.  Come on…hold my hand.  Bonding together we can help each other through the hard times and heal while Old Man Winter is snoring!  Keep your heartlights shining!

Shine On!

xo

Raindrops

“Last night
the rain
spoke to me
slowly, saying,
what joy
to come falling
out of the brisk cloud,
to be happy again
in a new way
on the earth!
That’s what it said
as it dropped,
smelling of iron,
and vanished
like a dream of the ocean
into the branches
and the grass below.
Then it was over.
The sky cleared.
I was standing
under a tree.
The tree was a tree
with happy leaves,
and I was myself,
and there were stars in the sky
that were also themselves
at the moment
at which moment
my right hand
was holding my left hand
which was holding the tree
which was filled with stars
and the soft rain –
imagine! imagine!
the long and wondrous journeys
still to be ours.”
― Mary Oliver

 Shine On!

xo

*photo by Stefan Gessert

Storm’s a brewin’

Lightning, Thunder, Stormy Seas…

The last few days I’ve been suffering from a migraine which usually means the barometer is changing and it has been.  We’ve been having some thunderstorms, rain, sun and unusual weather.  As I sit here writing this post, it’s intermittently been raining cats and dogs one minute, with thunderous clouds and loud, rolling thunder and then suddenly the sky switches to bright sunshine with the quiet roll of thunder in the background.  In fact, I feel like it’s like me these days…sunshine with a touch of raincloud followed by a bit of thunder.

But I digress because I wanted to post about change and how difficult it can be on the body, the mind and others around us.  I think this is where my inner and outer thunderclouds have originated.  I’m on a changing cycle I think and it’s a bit stormy here for me as I go through the changes.  I’m a bit daunted to be honest by the unknown ahead, but having delved into the unknown before, I am shoring up my courage to keep taking baby steps.

The outer thunder is just the careless roar of others which I can deal with although I’d prefer calm, sun-filled moments.  But that’s ok for me.  I’ve been through far worse.  The inner thunder is more treacherous to me and having experienced it before, it leaves me a little shaky these days.  Nothing like a touch of the unknown to scare me a bit.

I remember when I was first diagnosed, I was afraid to cry.  Imagine being afraid to cry!?  But I was afraid that if I started to cry, I’d never stop.  Now I know that sounds silly, but to me, it was perfectly logical.  I was unable to mourn the loss of my breasts because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop crying about it.  So I held the pain inside until I almost burst.  Then a very dear friend told me not to be afraid to cry because eventually I’d stop…and those simple words, ‘eventually you’ll stop’ made all the difference in the world to me.  And the shift happened.

I cried for the loss of my breasts, for the time I spent in chemo, radiation, in hospitals, alone…I cried for the time I worried that I wouldn’t see my boys become teenagers.  I cried through sad movies, silly commercials and any true life story article or movie or book I could put my hands on.  It was like I needed that reason to cry and not the reason that I had in my own life and heart.  But through allowing those tears to escape me, I felt the weight of the sadness lifting from my soul and my heart.  It was when I allowed myself to cry, I was able to heal my heart and begin to take baby steps again.

It’s been a busy 8 weeks since my Dad passed and I’ve not had a lot of time to mourn the loss.  I know all about the grieving process having endured it when I had breast cancer 10 years ago.  I’ve been moving along through the 7 steps, only to stagger now.  But in the thundercloud where I am presently, it’s only fitting that a storm’s a brewin’ because I think many changes have occurred in the last 8 weeks of my life…and I just have to keep my thoughts on the prize of a sparkling rainbow!

Cheers to fears, tears and thunderclouds…

for they make the Rainbows that much sweeter!

xo