Tag Archive | life

Gratitude For Eight Years On WordPress

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I got a note from WordPress today telling me that eight years ago today, I began my blog.  It doesn’t seem that I have been writing for eight years to you all, but I’m assuming WordPress knows what it’s talking about, don’t you think?  Ah, the benefits of blogging!

In eight years, much has changed in my life.  My initial focus was to help other women battling cancer, specifically breast cancer as I endured it myself and I am still here.  But as life developed, I have written about other subjects too including:  poetry, pets, children, parents, relationships, Mother Nature, horseback riding, Alzheimer’s and Dementia, holidays, angels, spirituality, religion, Rabbit, Rabbit, photography, SendOutCards, amazing books and movies, inspirational quotes, life in general and even death because I had first hand experience with all of those topics.  While I was enduring hardships, you were all there for me with your loving support and I am ever grateful.  I wrote to share my experiences in hopes that I would be able to help someone else along that path.

I am ever grateful for the loving connections that have evolved through our blogging community which we have grown through our writings and by reaching out in kindness, generosity and always with a loving heart.  Friendships have blossomed through our writings that have cemented many of us soul to soul in miraculous ways.  From WordPress comments to emails to actual phone calls, I can count many deep friendships which span the world now for which I am honored to be a part of in this lifetime – and yet, we have never met face to face.  But the love is there, without ever being in each other’s physical presence.

It’s so interesting to me that I have yet to meet anyone face to face that I met through blogging and yet I count many of you as true friends.  What a gift this Presents of Presence has been for me!  I pray that you feel the same way – that my writings, my comments and my love for all of you shines its heartlight and helps to raise the energetic vibrations of this world’s energy to encourage peace, love, compassion and understanding along with connections to all.

May your heart be lifted today and may your heartlight shine for all to see, for I see you out there dearest friends and I am ever grateful, as always, for our connections.

Shine On!

xo

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Returning The Favor

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Click here to see the episode about Carol Stark!

Today while on Facebook, I came across a post from Mike Rowe in my newsfeed for his new show called Returning the Favor.  I sat mesmerized and enthralled in this new show and in the concept of highlighting those who make connections, help others and do it all with love and understanding.

Click on Carol’s name above and take a look for yourself.  You are sure to be inspired!  We all have the ability to change lives and to help others.  When we shine our heartlights, we connect with love.  Take heart, there are lots of us out there like Carol!  Follow along with Mike’s new show!  I know I am going to be doing it!  What a feel good way to enjoy a tv show!

Shine On!

xo

Cheers!

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We have a restaurant that is similar to Cheers in our life.  For years, it has been a staple for us to go to for birthday occasions, for nights when cooking just felt like too much effort or when we just wanted to get together with friends at the bar for a drink.

There’s something special about a place where everybody knows your name – or at least some people do!  I think we all feel that way when we share experiences.  I know for me, I feel very grateful that when I go there, whether as a family or with friends.  I feel like someone’s watching out for me.  Someone whom I trust.

It’s a locals place – our neighborhood Cheers.  It’s not a franchise chain restaurant, but one that has stood the test of time for many years, even though the owners have changed, and even improved it!  I have so many delightful memories in that place and whew – if the walls could talk – they’d surely sing of a myriad of nights spent there for all different reasons.

The food is consistently good.  The help are personable and many have been working there for years so we know them well – and they know us!  My favorite bartender of all time is nicknamed Pal and we’ve known each other over twenty years.  He’s the manager now of our local Cheers, but I remember when he first got married and had kids and he remembers when I did too!  Isn’t it nice to just have a lovely friend?  I just wanted to see if any of you have a Cheers place in your neighborhood?

In case you forgot the theme song, here it is below!  Enjoy!

Shine On!

xo

Past Experiences Do Not Dictate The Outcome Of The Present One

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When similar situations repeat themselves, sometimes we can go into a mind spasm.  We relive the past in the present situation, mindlessly worrying that the outcome of the present situation could be the same as the ending of the past one.  I know I’m writing generally here because frankly, the situation could be anything that you’ve endured.

But there’s that trigger, that Oh my gosh! realization that we’ve passed this way before in the past.  I tried to put it out of my reasoning mind, knowing that as before, I am doing the best I can with the resources I have.  But there’s that little worrisome thought that this time may repeat the last one’s ending.  Mindful of not wanting the same results, I pushed away the thoughts, trying to reason my way out of not manifesting the past again.  Because I don’t want what happened in the past to repeat itself.  Yet, I couldn’t shake the fear.

So I rechecked the facts, because my need for control, especially now, is fierce.  All seems well at this time which is good.  But in talking with a kind friend, I realized I was beating myself up internally for feeling as if the past could repeat itself and I was helpless to change what may be the outcome again this time.

When she parroted the situation back to me, as I listened to my own situation but in her voice (as if she were me), compassion filled my heart and I cried.  I realized that I needed to have compassion for myself and for my own feelings in this situation.  I understood that pushing off the absurdity of the situation repeating the past with the same ending wasn’t a ludicrous thought that I had to push away.  I understood that it was a natural thought process that if all lined up as it had previously (which is certainly possible), the ending could be the same.  I struggled with the thought, talking back and forth with my friend as we processed the scenario.  When we were finished talking, I realized what I already knew.  I can only do my best with my own resources and it’s in God’s hands.

I have to be content with that knowledge and find peace within me.  Because at this point, the situation is stable and not showing signs of further chaos, but the threat is real.  It’s just a question of if it’s here or not.

I think perhaps PTSD may be in varying degrees something that we endure over a lifetime when repeated similar situations occur.  Fear and past knowledge often make it difficult when we feel helpless.  So how do we overcome those aching worries?

We need to find compassion for ourselves for even going to that dark place of fear instead of tamping it down and turning away from it.  When I exposed the fear to the light with the help of my trusted friend, I cried and released some of the traumatic fear I was holding for the present situation.  With the tearful release, I was able to ground myself again in the knowledge that I am doing the best I can and only time will tell the actual results.  That gave me a small dose of peace for which I’m ever grateful.

Finding peace is precious and priceless as we endure stressful situations.  We all experience life lessons in different ways.  What I’ve found is that in being love, sending love, and wrapping us all in love, we know that love shines our heartlights into the darkness of fear based thoughts.

I’m not bringing that fear into my thoughts anymore.  I know I can flow with whatever may be on my path as long as I continue to stand in the light and not in the darkness.  Please keep shining your heartlights dear friends!  I can see them and they give me great comfort!

Shine On!

xo

Trotting With Ty

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This is Ty and me at the end of our last lesson.  We trotted together for the first time which was a bit unnerving to me as he’s part draft horse and part thoroughbred and 16.3 hands which, believe me, is big!  But what a sweet fella!

I’m learning to ride English and right now, I’m learning to post while trotting while loosely holding onto the reins and hanging onto the saddle!  I’m working on rhythmically posting as Ty’s trotting in a circle on a lead held by my teacher.  Thank goodness she’s there to guide me and him as we work together.  I’m happy to say that our goal was accomplished a few times, but I think I still have a long way to go.  But I’m getting there which is good.

I haven’t given up riding Sam or Charlie.  It just seems that Ty has a smoother gait while trotting which helps when you’re learning to post.  I love how each horse is different and has his own quirks like people do.  It makes for interesting connections!  And as you can tell, my smile is always so big when I am at the farm after a lesson!  There’s something so healing about riding horses.  Their loving natures make my heart sing!  Do you feel the same way?

Do you ride English or Western?  I’ve trailed ridden Western years ago which I enjoyed.  I wonder if I try to ride Western again on a trail will it be hard because it’s so different?  Any horse people out there?  Please share your experiences!  Thank you!

Shine On!

xo

I Love Snow!

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It’s snowing here and in my excitement, even though I didn’t have to get up early, I was up early.  Silly I know for me to not sleep in, because going out today is not a viable option, but the child-like wonder in watching snow fall has never left me.  So here I sit, coffee in hand and snuggled under a blanket in our warm home, watching the snow fall outside in what is being called a blizzard.  Ah, the benefits of being a Jersey Girl!

Especially when snow is falling at night, I am entranced by the wonder of each individual snowflake being unique, much like human beings.  Collectively they fall from the sky to pile up together, nestled on the ground, and then blown by the winds to be swept up again into drifts.

I love snow like I love people – I love their uniqueness, their quirky ways and their ability to bond together to form a cohesive snowball!  LOL  I know I’m being silly here, but I can’t help it.  I’m giddy today.  I just can’t help myself from smiling.  I don’t even care that it will take me a long time and much effort to clear a path, clean off our cars and get out after the storm has ceased.  But for now, the winds are blowing, the snow is falling and since we have no place to go – so as the song goes – Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

I am feeling innately sated today and I’m counting my blessings.  We have homemade chicken soup all ready for lunch (and maybe even dinner?) if the mood suits us.  Plenty of snacks and some movies to enjoy watching together.  There’s no school and no work to attend today so we will just enjoy being together, safe and sound, watching the outside world be covered in a mantle of white lace.

Life is good friends.  Shine your heartlights.

Shine On!

xo

 

Elevate Your Relationship With Your Child

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Dear Parents,

As a former teacher, I’m writing to you from the heart.  As a parent myself, and a former teacher and as a humanitarian, yes, I’m going to suggest how you parent your sweet children.  You may choose to tune out here and click off my letter or maybe you just might want to read what I have to say to see if it resonates with you.

Let me begin by telling you I am not the perfect parent, teacher nor humanitarian.  Not by a long shot am I perfect.  But I feel the need to tell you honestly what I’m seeing and it’s not pretty dear friends.  You may or may not be aware of it, but it’s there – that wounded spot between you and your child.  You know the one I mean.  You sense it because you know that he’s mad with you and you feel guilty for whatever you’ve not done.  Or maybe you’re really as clueless about it as you seem.  But I don’t buy it.  I think you know, but you’re afraid to touch that wounded part of your child and yourself.

Example:  You are busy with work, your family, your life and all that’s around you.  You live in a tizzy of busy because you are doing the best you can to provide for your family, to work at your career, to be a good wife/husband, to parent, to raise your family and maybe even take care of your own parents as well.  You’re stressed beyond words and everyone knows it.  You are doing the best you can and I applaud you.  But I know you’re not happy because that wound rears its ugly head when it comes to your child.

You feel guilty because your child is wounded by you.  There, let’s speak plainly.  What you say, how you react, what you don’t say or don’t do, has built up a laundry list in your child’s mind to feel wounded by you.  What’s worse is that you think that what he holds against you may be true and if you had more time, if you weren’t working, if you didn’t have so many children, etc., you’d not have made those mistakes.  You’ve got a litany of excuses and guilt that he doesn’t want to hear.  But you’re not telling him that anyway.  You’re living with the wound yourself and it’s festering in your daily interactions with him.  It’s like a runaway train which at every non-stop at a station, gets worse and the momentum of hurt builds.

You must be willing to change in order for you and your child to begin to rebuild your relationship.  I’ve found that honesty works well here as it almost always does when it comes to communication between people, be it parent/child relationships or for that matter, any relationship between people.  Open communication is key.  Taking the quiet opportunity when there’s not a lot of stress involved between you, makes it easier for each person to hear what the other person is saying.  Blame is not an option here so don’t bring it into the conversation.  Explain clearly what you expect from your child and what he can expect from you.  Show examples of when he was successful and when you were as well and highlight the times when you worked together and succeeded at a common goal.  Remind him of the fun times together and let him know how you miss that connection with him.  Tell him plainly how you miss that connection and how you would like to reconnect and ask him for advice.  Let him tell you what he needs from you and you can do the same.  Be on the same page as a team.  Keep the dialogue open and be ready to hear how he feels even if it’s hard.  It may take a few conversations before he will open up, but most teenagers want to reconnect because they need you as much as you need them.  But you need to set the example for that give and take trusting conversation and not react to anything he says that you may not like.  You need to be the grownup and own how what’s happened makes him feel, especially when you may find it hitting too close to home.  It’s hard to accept when your teenager tells you the truth as he sees it and you may have to accept that he’s right and not give excuses as to why you did whatever it is that you did.  This is not to say that you need to take all the blame and guilt here either, for it’s a two way street in any relationship.  But in giving your child the opportunity to speak his mind respectfully, just as it will be when you are given the same opportunity, allows for healing to begin.

It takes time to repair wounds for anyone, but especially that parent/child relationship as it sets the stage for his future relationships.  Even the most wounded of us wants peace and forgiveness and to feel loved and respected.  I don’t think it’s ever too late to try, for you never know when you may succeed.

Relationships fall apart over time and don’t always heal quickly.  But with patience and kindness we can repair and reconnect with others in the most miraculous of ways.  It takes a commitment to reconnect, but I’ve found that it’s so well-worth it when we do!

Work on making your home a safe and loving environment where family means that we love each other and that we work together for the common good and love that binds us.  You role model that in your home – peace, love, kindness – so foster it in every moment!

Be kind to yourself, dear parent.  Sometimes life just happens the way it does, but that doesn’t mean we can’t improve our relationships with effort on both parts.  If you really feel disconnected from your child, make the effort and if it’s not too late, you may be surprised at the amazing relationship that comes out of your opening up the conversation to reconnect in the first place!

Shine On!

xo