Tag Archive | spirituality

Cancer Changed Me

cancerchangedme

Hope ~ Strength ~ Power ~ Belief ~ Courage ~ Honor ~ Determination

I have been told that cancer changed me.  Indeed, it wasn’t said it in the nicest of ways.  In fact, it was taken as a disparaging comment and I was appalled by the off-hand comment.  My first reaction was to defend myself at the time, to show how cancer didn’t change me.  But I left well-enough alone and decided to say nothing.  However, I was hurt by the retort.

Had cancer really changed me?

The question mulled in my head for days and many sleepless nights, more than I’d like to admit, but it’s true.  I’ve written how cancer changes you enough times in this blog to know that the reality is – YES, cancer changes most of us.  It has to, or we wouldn’t still be here.  For we have seen into the yawning mouth of our own demise, endured the most feared emotions and have come out of it alive, so far.  Looking at your own potential death does change you.

It makes you more aware for the most part.  Some of us now see with finite definition that life is short and there are no guarantees how much time we have on this earth.  We become grateful for the beauty in nature, for the simple pleasures that kindness brings and for a real, loving hug which can cure many ills.  We look to connect with others more because we know what it’s like to feel alone.  We share our stories, encourage each other and find the courage to be who we authentically are!  We smile when we are tired.  We work hard to overcome obstacles and to be there for others, even when we feel depleted.  We take that extra moment to smile and to enjoy goodness when it comes into our lives.  We are grateful for the support that we have been given and we look to support others to continue the flow of goodness.  We share tips to help others and happily receive tips to make our lives easier.

We know that all the money in the world, with all the frivolities are fleeting and really don’t mean a damn when death comes knocking at our door.  It’s that silence between ourselves and our maker (or our beliefs) in the quiet of the night that counts.  It’s regarding peace within as a precious gift, time spent with loved ones and a centered calm in which to retreat when life becomes hard.  It’s the voice within the stillness which speaks of love, gratitude, peace with ourselves and others and God.

Yes, cancer changed me.  That’s for sure.  Perhaps it was the misunderstanding of me that caused this person to spout the ‘dig’ as I took it.  Sometimes it takes a loss for us to be humble and perhaps there will be people who simply never understand.  And that’s ok with me.

I am me, authentically me.  I make mistakes, I ask for forgiveness and I forgive.  I choose to live in a state of peace within when I can, but I am always evolving, ever growing and yet, trying to do all things with love.  I intend to do my best, at any given moment, but I’m human.  I’m a work in progress.  Aren’t we all?

What’s precious to me in my life is love, kindness and connections and I strive every day to live with those three precious gems in my life.  Cancer made me a better person by giving me so many lessons in my life.  I’ve learned so much from cancer, even though I never wanted to endure that disease.  Looking back on my life, I realize that I am who I am today because of cancer.  Even if others don’t understand me, it’s ok now.  I’m at peace and I’m ever grateful for the peace within me.

Shine On!

xo

Smooth Seas

smoothsea

A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt

Sometimes we wonder why hard times fall on us.  We blame karma, bad luck, ourselves or others for the sad times.  We can’t understand why or how bad things happen to good people.  Have you ever felt this way?

I love the quote above as it makes sense to me.  Sadly I agree that in good seas, we don’t have to practice what we preach.  It is only when the storms arise that we must walk our talk and talk our walk or however that quote goes.  You know what I mean, don’t you?

During stormy seas, we realize who our true friends are and who we can count on.  Unexpected friendships can arise and we may even be surprised by who reaches out in kindness…and who doesn’t.   We may even finally realize who supports us and who doesn’t, as words without actions are simply words.

Kindness goes a long way, especially when you are hurting.  Being a warm, safe haven for someone is a precious gift, especially during stormy seas.  I want to thank those who have helped me over the years, the ones whose kindness never waned and whose support I felt even in my darkest hours.

Shine On!

xo

What Will You Leave Us This Time?

whatwillyouleaveusthistime

Click Here for Oh Very Young (with lyrics)

Above is a YouTube video with the lyrics to the song by Cat Stevens, Oh Very Young, which is a beautiful reminder for so many of us.  Have you ever thought of what you leave behind when you say goodbye to this life?  How will you be remembered?  Will you take the love and connections with you that you’ve made on this planet?  Will your memory remain with those who stay?  What will those who stay remember about you?
I pray that your memory of me will be of love, kindness, compassion, connections, caring and grace.  I wish the same for you with your loved ones and for all with whom you connect.  You are such a special person, here for a Divine Purpose to love, to hold and to make a difference in a beautiful way.  I was reminded of this today, so I will, in turn, remind you. ♥
Shine On!
xo

 

Life’s Journey

life'sjourney

Life’s Journey

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

– Lao Tzu

Life has its own path of twists and turns, many of which are made by our own free will or the free will of others in our tribe.  Sometimes circumstances beyond our control can also throw a proverbial monkey wrench into our life paths, causing us to traverse mountains and rugged terrain as we sort through changes that we may have never wanted to see coming.

What I’ve found to help me as I’ve traversed rocky terrain has been to add love to every situation by throwing in a dash of positive thinking, forgiveness for myself and others, a splash of kindness and compassion and a letting go of the reigns of responsibility and control to which I sometimes grip too tightly.  A continual reminder to keep gratitude in the forefront has aided my healing as well.  Keeping the faith and allowing the Universe to help me has created much positivity and peace in my life.  Lastly, connecting with others, opening my heart, mind and soul to trusted friends who have helped me when I’ve stumbled, has made the journey more endearing and has lessened the angst.

For me, I always feel as though I can do anything if someone else believes in me and walks along with me on this chapter of life’s path in a companionable way.  Connect with me, hold my hand (not necessarily physically, but emotionally), for awhile, link arms with me in friendship and support and know the difference between listening, advising and telling.

I am here, hopefully back to blogging as I have missed you all very much.  I pray that while I’ve been absent from blogging that you have been well, continuing to shine your heartlights and being you ~ a loving, supportive community of heartlit writers who care!  You know, I’m your biggest fan!

Shine On!

xo

When Was the Last Time You Felt Carefree?

carefree

When Was the Last Time You Felt Carefree?

I found myself pondering this very question today without a definitive answer.  In fact, I was unable to remember the last time I felt carefree.  When you ask yourself the same question, what is your answer?  Can you answer the question immediately or are you like me, wondering and hard pressed to remember that far back in your memories?

To be honest, there have been moments of joy and childish happiness recently, but the word carefree doesn’t ring a bell for any time recently.  I think when we get bogged down with life, adulthood and being responsible for so many people, situations and such, we find ourselves hard-pressed to take the much time needed to recoup a little childish wonder and release ourselves from the day to day drudgery in order to feel carefree even if it is only for a few precious moments.

I chose a photo of falling leaves as a carefree moment because it seems fitting to me.  Dancing, colorful leaves, in crisp cool air, feels carefree to me. (Thanks Canva!)

What photo would you use to show carefree?

The Daily Post Prompt gave me the impetus and gentle reminder to find more carefree moments in my life.  Perhaps finding a daily carefree moment is a new goal!  How about you?

What makes you feel carefree?

Shine On!

xo

The Layers of Now

thelayersofnow

The Layers of Now

Being present is what I yearn to be, although like many others, I teeter-totter in the realm of past rememberings or anticipating future fears of what’s to come.  It’s a fine line between the past, the present and the future.  One sharp word can trigger a memory and I’m conjuring up past wounds, beliefs and heartbreak.  One kind word and I’m breathing deeply in the present moment, finding my center of peace.  One anxious word and I’m fearing the uncharted territory of the future.

So where does one go?

Into The Layers of Now!

The Layers of Now is how I’ve found peace within me during chaotic times of trouble which seem to gather around me lately like thunderclouds sweeping in during a summer storm.  I don’t know if I can explain what I’m doing so that it will make sense to you, but I will try.

Simply put, I consciously try with all of my might,

to layer my present moment of presence.

If I need to cha cha into the past, I take a few steps back, rock forward to the present moment and repeat as necessary until the dance becomes obscured by the smile on my face as the music trills in my head, because I have changed my tune.  I drop what wounds I held onto as they don’t serve me anymore.  I allow the knowledge that we are all here together, doing the best we can to remind me that I am not without mistakes either.  I forgive the past, remember what I have endured and face the present with peace in my heart.

If I need to face the future, I step up, then rock back to the present and repeat as necessary.  Never actually staying in the future for it is certainly uncertain at this point, but also, never losing sight of the solidity of the present moment.  Thus I can grow my presents of presence.

Then, when I need to feel present in all the glory or chaos that is this very moment, I step to the side, into observer mode, facing my fears, my angst, euphoria and sadness with the magnitude of a maestro layering the chorus of past/present/future into a hit song that encompasses it all!  I stand by, not engaging, but simply looking with gratitude for all the facets of my life, no matter where they may be, past, present, future, happy, sad, uncertain and I just envelope them in my heart as the layers of now and rejoice, for I am here to experience and connect each and every emotion and feeling.

I am here,

to witness my life as it is right now with gratitude.

*

I am here,

to remember how far I have come from my past with gratitude.

*

I am here,

to open my heart, mind and soul,

to welcome with arms outstretched,

the unseen experiences that may come my way on my future path.

All at the same time.

Connecting…The Layers of Now.

Shine On!

xo

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/layers/

 

 

This Is Life

thisislife

This Is Life

Gathering memories

Discarding what no longer serves

Allowing changes to occur

Finding peace within.

Baby steps to freedom

Leaving behind another life

Welcoming uncharted territory

Holding my heart tenderly.

Keeping the faith

Praying, growing and knowing

Changes occur

This is life.

Shine On!

xo