Tag Archive | choices

Take A Lesson From Alzheimer’s And Dementia

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I’m a big proponent of passing along what I’ve learned through my various experiences.  Not to preach, but to connect with others who are enduring similar situations.  My blog is called The Presents of Presence which is all about being in the moment.  But as we all can attest, not every moment feels like a gift.  Sometimes we feel like we’ve been kicked instead.

With Alzheimer’s and Dementia, the lesson for me is clearly meant for my blog.  It’s in being in the present and finding the good in the now.  Finding the gift in connecting with others, no matter how brief it is, no matter how small it feels.

In my experience with my loved ones, I’ve learned that we can relax and just be and that this is, for the most part, how they now live their lives.  There’s almost like an amnesia from the dark past experiences that evaporates.  It is almost with childish simplicity that they live with the disease.  There’s not a lot of wondering what’s next or what happened before this very moment, except when sundowners hits.  It’s a focus on what’s right here that counts.  They live most fully in the now without reservation.

Think about that for a moment.  Can you wrap your mind around that?

What that means is no holding onto grudges, no revisiting conversations, no worrying about the future, no obsessing over the past, no self-criticism, no blaming someone else, I could go on and on.

It’s about, acceptance for the here and now in whatever form it takes.

I admire the people I know who have the disease for the courage to accept and be with the present at all times as I think that would be a hardship for many of us.  Yet, by their freedom, they are role models for us all.  Yes, I understand that they didn’t choose this disease.  Yes, I understand how heartbreaking it is when our loved ones have it.  But there’s a choice to mourn the loss by the disease or to find the positive in accepting what we deem unacceptable with the disease.

For me, I’ve got to find the positive and if that means, I have to change my way of thinking to expand it to gratitude for learning how to really find The Presents of Presence in every part of life’s journey and not just give it lip service, then so be it.

Shine On!

xo

 

What Are You Doing With Your Free Will?

whatareyoudoingwithyourfreewill

We have plenty of choices in this lifetime.  We all have the free will to choose and to change our minds and to choose again.  Perhaps on this Monday morning because I’m feeling so centered, I can seem very black and white on this issue.  But when I’m feeling centered, it’s so clear to me.  Is it clear to you?

We make excuses when our choices don’t pan out and deliver to fruition what we want.  So we blame others for what we think they made us do.  Believe me, I’ve been there too.  But the reality is that we all have free will to choose again, to change our thinking and to let go of what we believed was supposed to be, what was fair in our own heads and what we deserved.

But that’s not the way life lessons come to us all the time.  Sometimes, we have to get out of our own thinking, out of our own way and see the big picture in whatever scenario is taking place in the forefront.  And then, deal with it.

We’ve all made choices that perhaps we regret.  We make decisions in an instant that hurt us or hurt others.  But to own our own stuff takes courage to be responsible for what is and not what we believed should be.  That’s the lesson that is hardest I think for all of us to wrap our minds, our beliefs and our hearts around.

But in order to heal, it’s necessary.  To work on ourselves takes time and baby steps towards healing.  If we don’t do the work on ourselves though, we are stuck in that place of pain and nobody wants to stay there.  But oftentimes, we do for lack of knowing how to release our limiting beliefs.

Use your free will to choose again.  Choose wisely by being the observer in your life.  Treat yourself as you would your best friend and be open to possibilities that maybe you haven’t been aware of before in your life.  Wherever a door closes, there’s a window which opens.  Be courageous to look outside that window to see the big picture.

Allow God and the Universe to guide you to freedom of choice and to choosing what serves you with joy and love.  Your heartlight shines when we allow ourselves to be whom we are meant to be.  To be anyone else doesn’t serve our souls, nor our life purpose.

Don’t regret the path not taken.  Take it.  Embrace it and if it doesn’t fit, then choose again.  This is your life and nobody else’s.  Live.  Choose.  Forgive.  Let go.  Move onward and upwards!  It’s a beautiful day!  You can always choose to be happy.

That’s your free will choice.  Choose happiness.

Shine On!

xo

 

Teenagers In The New School Year

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Friends, you’ve read my A grade classroom rule from when I was a teacher.  You’ve read my Parenting post which may or may not have made you angry or defensive.  My intention is to include you in the hug I want to give all the parents/students/teachers at the start of the new year.

Dear Teenager,

Well, you’re next in line for my posts and I’m going to be honest, like I was in earlier posts because this is all about you in the end.  This is your life and you will either listen or turn away.  I won’t try to control you, but what I will try is to steer you towards victory because that is where you belong.

Your journey begins on the first day of school.  But you and I both know that it began when school ended last year.  Because what you did over the summer (or didn’t do) makes a difference.  Did you read the assigned book(s)?  Did you finish the summer math packet you are supposed to turn in at the beginning of the year?  Please tell me you did.  And if you didn’t, then please get it done!  Those assignments are most likely going to be graded and if we’re going to keep your A, they need to be completed.  No excuses!

I hope you like your teachers this year.  But if you don’t, please don’t allow your feelings to bring your grade down.

Example:  My son didn’t like one of his teachers at all a few years ago.  He just didn’t like the class – didn’t like the subject, didn’t like the way she taught it, didn’t like the content and didn’t like anything about it!  But he needed the class and had to pass it.  Because he was angry, he didn’t want to work for her and didn’t complete his assignments.  In his head, he was annoying her by not working.  But when I explained that he’s giving her the easy way out by simply throwing a zero in the grade book for no assignment done, he was making her life easier.  Instead, I suggested that he do the homework, turn it in and make her work to grade it!  Ok, I know you are probably shaking your head saying, And he fell for that?  But he did fall for it.  He understood that he was bothering her by doing the work and it ended up giving him a great grade when the year was over because in his mind he was consistently annoying her since he found her to be so annoying!  And yes, he knew all along what I was doing, but he also found a way to change his thinking and not hurt his grade!  Funny thing is, he ended up liking the class in the end because he gave it a chance to be liked!

It’s all about your perception.  Did you know that?  What you perceive when it comes to school is a choice that you make every day.  You choose to do the work or not.  You choose to study or not.  You choose to act rambunctiously or not.  You’ve got the power to make your life better or worse.  Choose wisely!  You don’t have to continue down a path you don’t like anymore.  Change direction!  Start to do your work and annoy your teachers!  You never know what may happen that’s good!  At least you’ll have good grades!  And if you’re bored at home, you’ll now have something to do.

This is your life and you’ve got to live it, but don’t throw away opportunities to make your life better.  Getting good grades and learning everyday are win-wins for all!  Learning something new everyday grows your brain.  Getting good grades opens doors to all sorts of opportunities.  Making connections with your teachers and getting involved in clubs and/or sports, helps to  broaden your life interests and expands your connections and friend group.

But what if you’re shy?  Or feel you are not liked?  Or you’re a loner?  What if they bully you?   You feel out of place?  You have a hard home life?  Nobody understands you.

Come here dear one – let me hug you.  Let me walk beside you on this path.  You are not alone even though you feel that way now.  Many of us have felt that way too, but we are still here.  We are here to help you go through those life lessons too.

Reach out to trusted friends or faculty members.  Go see the nurse or the school counselor.  They are trained to help you through these hard times.  I know it’s hard to ask for help, but it’s your life and you deserve all the help you can get.  Talk with your parents if you can.  Speak from your heart.  Be honest.  Tell them what’s going on.

I want you to know that I feel for you.  I have children of my own and they tell me what you have to deal with on a daily basis.  That’s why I want to hug you for all you have going on daily, in addition to school.   Life has become more complicated than we realize as teachers and parents and adults.  But that’s no excuse for you to not do your best or choose to be the best you can be!

If you’re having a tough time with your parents, let me explain a bit.  It’s not necessarily you, but sometimes it’s your parent who is projecting their stuff because your parent is frustrated with the current circumstances.  You need to elevate your game and work harder.  This is your life so you owe it to yourself to do your best.  I want to remind you  that nobody’s perfect and that your parents are trying to do their best under the circumstances, but that you need to do your part as well.    I want to remind you that your  parents’ frustration with you is real and you need to be mindful of it.  Your job as a student is to work to your potential and be the best you can be.  But that the criticism you are  hearing in your parent’s voice is more out of frustration and not knowing how to help you.  They do love you a lot!  They are trying to understand what’s going on, but it’s hard for them.  Share with them what’s going on!  Tell them if you can’t see the board or if you have trouble remembering facts.  Tell them if you’re the last one picked for a team for gym and how it makes you feel (I was that girl myself.  I know how it feels.)  Perhaps they will understand too.

You are dealt the cards of life.  Each of us has our own set to play and nobody’s life is perfect.  No matter what you think, let me repeat, nobody’s life is perfect.  The best lesson in life is to know what your cards are and how to play them for the best life.  I don’t mean cheating with your cards either or taking the easy way out and turning to drugs because you can’t deal with your situation.  Nope.  There are other choices that are healthier and better for you.  I know it feels hard at times.  But remember,

You matter.  You count.  You are worthy of your special place here in this world.  Believe me.  The universe and God don’t make mistakes. 

I’m sure some may have extenuating circumstances not discussed in this note.  But the same advice applies to you – reach out!  Ask for help!  There are many people that are in place to help you on this journey of life!  Look around!  We’re all here ready to lend a helping hand, to give advice, to share a hug, to applaud good effort and most importantly, to help you up if you fall down.

So why do you feel like you’re doing all the work here?  Because it’s your life!  It’s YOUR life and together we are going to make it the BEST it can be!  But we all need your involvement in order to make it work!  Teachers, parents, adults, friends, and faculty are all here to support you in your life  But you have to let us in to help you along the way.

Choose wisely dear teenagers.  Make us work to give you the best life possible!  You deserve it!  Have the BEST YEAR YET!  Big hugs and lots of love from me to you! ♥

Shine On!

xo

 

Which Wolf Do You Feed?

whichwolfdoyoufeed

I’ve seen this Native American parable before, but I think it bears repeating, so here it goes:

A grandfather is talking with his grandson and he says there are two wolves inside of us which are always at war with each other. 

One of them is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery and love. The other is a bad wolf, which represents things like greed, hatred and fear.

The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?”

The grandfather quietly replies, “The one you feed.”

 

We can use this parable in our daily life by which story we feed our souls, especially when life gets challenging and we feel like we are alone.  We can become depressed and angry for the circumstances we find ourselves in or we can feed ourselves and the situation with love, kindness and forgiveness and move beyond the hurt.

Just like the parable suggests,

it’s all in the wolf that you choose to feed.

It is that simple dear friends.  Come on, hold my hand.  Let’s feed the good wolf together and make this world a better place for us all!

Shine On!

xo

 

 

What You Do Comes From What You Think

whatyoudocomesfromwhatyouthink

You may believe that you are responsible for what you do,

but not for what you think.

The truth is that you are responsible for what you think,

because it is only at this level

that you can exercise choice.

What you do comes from what you think.

– Marianne Williamson

Wise advice on a Monday morning!  I hope you have a fantastic week!  Make good choices and think before you choose!

Shine On!

xo

The Gift of Choice

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Choice is a gift, but I think sometimes it’s one that we shun because we forget we have it in our back pocket.

~ Misifusa

I don’t know about you, but sometimes in life I feel like I have no choice but to do whatever is expected of me.  I will figuratively move mountains to help, to accomplish or to do what needs to be done, even when I don’t want to even think about putting one more thing on my list to do.

But we have a choice, even when we feel like we are backed into a corner with no exit sign nearby.  We can choose to comply or to bend or to not.

On the other hand, I think we also get bogged down with seeing life from only one side of the track or perspective and yet, there’s a whole other view which we can choose to look at or even better, choose to be the observer and look at the entire scenario, like the producer of a play.  Instead of being one of the characters in your life play, we can look with fresh eyes at the whole scene and get a better perspective.  Be the audience or the producer instead of the character, bound by her leading assigned role.

I can hear you now, it’s not that easy Pollyanna.

But yes, it is, dear friends.  You have the gift of choice at every moment of every day.  Do you realize how many unconscious decisions we make in a day?  What if we were to consciously choose from the producer’s point of view instead of our own limited point of view?  Do you think we’d choose the same decisions?  I’m thinking yes, sometimes and no, sometimes not.

Have you ever pondered that we have the gift of choice that we don’t always utilize?  Can you think of any situation when you could have used your gift of choice with free reign and maybe had a better outcome?

Just another thought to ponder today.  Share below what you think!

Shine On!

xo

Remember to Say Thank You

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Life flows when we give and when we accept the blessings given to us.  Expressing gratitude is not difficult, but certainly is necessary.  Being appreciative for the blessings bestowed on us, little or big, requires being in a place of gratitude.  For when we ‘count our blessings’ we invite more blessings because we are showing appreciation.

Lately, I’ve been expressing my gratitude to God and to the Universe for the blessings which have been given to me.  It seems that the more I thank God and the Universe for even the simplest of gifts, the more blessings flow to me.  It’s that Law of Attraction mentality I think.  Have you heard of Law of Attraction?  I’ve written many posts on it before in my blog.  Just search Law of Attraction and surely you’ll find more about it here.

I think in our busy lives we forget to be grateful for the simplest things which we take for granted.  We become disconnected with the gifts we receive in our daily life.  Just having shelter, food, health, love and income, bare minimums is a blessing that we forget to acknowledge for there are many who lack these minimums.  Instead I think sometimes we are focused on what we don’t have or what we want, instead of what we currently have.  It’s a different way of thinking for some, but it’s a choice in how you look at it.

Is that glass half full or half empty for you?

Or are you just grateful to have the glass that can be refilled?

That’s how life is – you choose how you look at things and you can choose again when you learn more about life.  That’s the great part of life lessons!  We learn and grow at different speeds, but as we connect, we learn more because we share our lessons with those who are interested in connecting.

I have learned so much from blogging friendships that we’ve made and from friends who have taken the time to share what they have learned from life lessons.  My heartfelt thanks to all of you!  I hope that in some way, I have helped you as well.

Shine On!

xo