Picking Up The Pieces

When life throws you a curve ball, you have to re-evaluate your position in life.  You have to pick up the pieces from what’s changed and put them back together in a new way.  You may even have to release some parts of your prior life in order to make room for the new chapter that’s beginning.  We have to embrace the change in order to incorporate it into our lives and not be stymied by the upheaval.

There are many defining moments in life that create change.  What we forget in times of fluidity and peace is that change is inevitable.  Few of us get out of this life alive without challenges, for those are what make this life school a life-long learning process.  If we were only to enjoy smooth sailing for a lifetime then we wouldn’t have a chance to grow.  By enduring these challenges, we experience change.  Life school allows us to connect with others who have endured similar situations in ways that we wouldn’t have been able to otherwise.  Nobody can understand how devastating a cancer diagnosis is if you haven’t experienced it yourself.  Nobody understands the all-encompassing grief that comes with losing a loved one if you haven’t been through it.  Empathy comes when you’ve walked a similar path with compassion.

I confess that I would have preferred to not have endured many of the challenges presented to me.  I could have done without the trying times that threatened to drown me.  But I persevered and through faith, love and friendship, I am still here.

I’ve been through a plethora of life changes as I am sure you have too.  Some have been good changes, while others defined me in ways I never thought possible.  Breast cancer, deaths of friends, family and loved ones, divorce, financial difficulties, Alzheimer’s in loved ones, just to name a few of the big ones.  Through these defining moments of upheaval and life changing events, I have learned one thing for sure:  I can survive and remain who I am innately and even be improved by having endured the changes.  Challenges, failures and triumphs sprinkled with love, hope, faith and kindness make all the difference.

Keep shining your heartlights!

Shine On!

xo

Past Experiences Do Not Dictate The Outcome Of The Present One

When similar situations repeat themselves, sometimes we can go into a mind spasm.  We relive the past in the present situation, mindlessly worrying that the outcome of the present situation could be the same as the ending of the past one.  I know I’m writing generally here because frankly, the situation could be anything that you’ve endured.

But there’s that trigger, that Oh my gosh! realization that we’ve passed this way before in the past.  I tried to put it out of my reasoning mind, knowing that as before, I am doing the best I can with the resources I have.  But there’s that little worrisome thought that this time may repeat the last one’s ending.  Mindful of not wanting the same results, I pushed away the thoughts, trying to reason my way out of not manifesting the past again.  Because I don’t want what happened in the past to repeat itself.  Yet, I couldn’t shake the fear.

So I rechecked the facts, because my need for control, especially now, is fierce.  All seems well at this time which is good.  But in talking with a kind friend, I realized I was beating myself up internally for feeling as if the past could repeat itself and I was helpless to change what may be the outcome again this time.

When she parroted the situation back to me, as I listened to my own situation but in her voice (as if she were me), compassion filled my heart and I cried.  I realized that I needed to have compassion for myself and for my own feelings in this situation.  I understood that pushing off the absurdity of the situation repeating the past with the same ending wasn’t a ludicrous thought that I had to push away.  I understood that it was a natural thought process that if all lined up as it had previously (which is certainly possible), the ending could be the same.  I struggled with the thought, talking back and forth with my friend as we processed the scenario.  When we were finished talking, I realized what I already knew.  I can only do my best with my own resources and it’s in God’s hands.

I have to be content with that knowledge and find peace within me.  Because at this point, the situation is stable and not showing signs of further chaos, but the threat is real.  It’s just a question of if it’s here or not.

I think perhaps PTSD may be in varying degrees something that we endure over a lifetime when repeated similar situations occur.  Fear and past knowledge often make it difficult when we feel helpless.  So how do we overcome those aching worries?

We need to find compassion for ourselves for even going to that dark place of fear instead of tamping it down and turning away from it.  When I exposed the fear to the light with the help of my trusted friend, I cried and released some of the traumatic fear I was holding for the present situation.  With the tearful release, I was able to ground myself again in the knowledge that I am doing the best I can and only time will tell the actual results.  That gave me a small dose of peace for which I’m ever grateful.

Finding peace is precious and priceless as we endure stressful situations.  We all experience life lessons in different ways.  What I’ve found is that in being love, sending love, and wrapping us all in love, we know that love shines our heartlights into the darkness of fear based thoughts.

I’m not bringing that fear into my thoughts anymore.  I know I can flow with whatever may be on my path as long as I continue to stand in the light and not in the darkness.  Please keep shining your heartlights dear friends!  I can see them and they give me great comfort!

Shine On!

xo

We Are Here To Serve

I’ve often wondered, why me? when life gets hard.  I think it’s a normal response when we feel overwhelmed by hard life experiences.  We’ve all had them, but to different extents and different types of experiences.  Dysfunctional relationships.  Cancer.  Financial problems.  Death of a loved one.  Divorce.  Alzheimer’s.  Childhood hurts.  Depression.  Family relationships gone awry.  Illness.  Just to name a few, I am sure we share some of the same hurdles, but maybe in different ways.

Life experiences teach us what we couldn’t have learned otherwise.  We can’t help others if we haven’t endured similar issues in our own lives.  What’s that quote?  Walk a mile in my shoes?  Maybe I haven’t walked in your particular shoes, but perhaps my similar experience is enough to connect with you and to help you on this life journey.

I am grateful for all that I have endured in my lifetime.  When we can see the gratitude in the hardships, we can change how we feel about them.  We increase our faith and our love quotient.  We rise above what we could have let hold us back from living a full life.

We are all here to help each other as we connect, we bond and we share our experiences.  There’s nothing better than someone else who knows what you are going through (by similar experience) who reaches out to share the experience with you as a friend, a guiding light to help you find peace within while offering a hand to hold as you heal.

The Why Me?  was answered recently by my soul who gave the response that if I hadn’t endured these experiences, I would be unable to connect so purely with others who may be in the trenches.  Without first-hand knowledge, I would only be able to sympathize and not empathize and put myself in similar shoes.  Does that make sense to you?

What I know for sure (thanks to Oprah for the phrase) is that we are here to serve one another in this lifetime.  To share experiences, to open our hearts with compassion and love and to shine our heartlights together!

You are not alone…take my hand and let’s…

Shine On!

xo

Puzzled

I’m often puzzled by people who are too busy or are unable to connect with others.  I understand being caught up in the rat race of life with work, responsibilities, paying bills, family, etc., but there’s something precious in reaching out to others to connect that to me feels as necessary as breathing air.  I can’t be the only one who feels this way, can I?

While I have much compassion for those who live guardedly because to feel and to be vulnerable is sometimes hard, it makes me sad when I hear that that’s how some people feel most of the time.  To speak in one’s own truth and to feel openly takes courage.  Obviously, there’s some trepidation and balance needed in order to do it safely, but the precious give and take between people is priceless.  I look around at some people who are so concerned with how things look that they miss the importance of what could be if they were to be honest with themselves and others instead of hiding behind the mask they’ve chosen to show the world at large.  There’s that soft underbelly of emotional connection that they hide deep within themselves for fear of being hurt by someone or something.

I’ve been hurt in my life.  Betrayed by those whom I trusted.  I wouldn’t wish that experience on anyone else, but by enduring those situations, they taught me more about people and life than I ever could have learned otherwise.  If truth be known, I am grateful for the experiences, even though they were so hard.  Because by enduring heartbreak, I learned forgiveness, compassion, empathy, and how to love others and myself more deeply.  Life lessons that couldn’t otherwise be learned except by experience.

We are here to experience life in its fullest form so to hide away doesn’t expose us to the amazing experiences that can be had by being present in our lives.  It’s like living in a cave and never seeing the light of day nor the moon at night.  We stifle ourselves when we hide behind the mask and live with the dull roar of fear which limits us.  When we blossom and open to the light, we shine our heartlights knowing there’s a danger of having them dimmed, but we can still see the meaning in the experience as we grow.  We blossom.  We deepen the life experience.  By sharing our stories, we bond with one another.  We flourish.  We help one another through the trials and tribulations of life.  We experience life from a deeper part of our souls when we are open to living to our fullest.

There is much evil in the world, I know.  I’m not such a fool to not realize that there are dangers lurking and I’m careful.  But I’m not going to let evil make me afraid of living nor sharing my heartlight with you for fear of what could happen.

For many of you, I know you think similarly for I read your blogs and your comments and there’s a team mentality here.  We reach out to connect, we enjoy each other’s virtual company and we bond.  We hold hands, we support each other and we shine our heartlights unabashedly.

Keep up the great work dear friends!  Let’s make a movement together to show others how we can live to our fullest extent.  Let’s help them when life situations break us down in order to let more light in to heal us.  None of us are alone if that’s what we choose.

Be the piece of the puzzle that joins us and not divides us.

Shine On!

xo

 

Until You’ve Been There, You Can’t Quite Understand

Until You’ve Been There,

You Can’t Quite Understand

At some point in life, we can feel misunderstood and alone as if no one truly understands what we are enduring.  It happens.  We can swirl in strive alone or we can reach out to others.  I have found through my experiences that when we endure hardships, we have a choice.  We can allow them to keep us down or we can use our knowledge to help others.  There’s nothing like the connection when we share what we are going through and find the comfort with someone who understands because they have a similar experience.

On the other hand, if you have not experienced ‘x’ (fill in the blank with whatever hardship you are currently enduring), you may find it difficult to be compassionate with a friend who just doesn’t ‘get it’ because they simply can’t imagine the magnitude of ‘x’ in your life.

Don’t despair dear friends for it happens to all of us.  We all have certain hardships in life that can drag us down, but here you can find a connection of love that endures, supports and helps to raise you up when you need comfort.  You only need to tap into the love of the universe to feel it.  Take my hand.  I understand.

Holidays can be trying times for the best of us.  Grief and loss can sour happy times if we let them.  But we have a choice to allow sadness to swallow us up and sap our energy or we can reach out and look up.  I know it’s not easy, but it is possible.  Begin to feel the festive spirit of love in your life.  You are not alone, ever.  Even when you feel completely misunderstood and alone, you are not.  Faith is a great healer.  Your inner spirit shines with a heartlight full of love when you let it.  Allow your soul to glow with love and peace.  Begin to feel the gratitude for being here in this moment.  Breathe in the source of God’s love for you.  Close your eyes and see the white light of love surrounding you.

Grief comes in waves.  Ride the peaks and valleys of grief as best you can and know that it can be a wild ride.  But know that it is a part of life’s journey.  For without grief, we would not understand the beauty of happiness and joy.

Share your experiences with others as when we connect, when compassion forges that connection, we all become empowered by the moment.  When we lift someone else up by word or deed or even companionable silence, we lift your own spirit as well, we begin to heal and we strengthen our loving heartlights to shine even brighter!

Remember you are loved.  You are cherished.  Life is a season of years with ups and downs.  We remember the good and the bad, but the choice is ours as to what we allow to take our attention.  You are wise.  You are here.  Be kind to yourself and others today for we are all enduring something.  Compassion heals, dear friends.  Shine your heartlight, connect with others and know that you are loved.

Shine On!

xo

 

How To Be An Observer In Your Own Life

I am learning the art of observing.  Through the help of many angelic mentors in my life, I am reaping the benefits of allowing, observing and being.  It has been through much practice that I am learning this special art.  It has been so beneficial to me in my life that I want to share with you what I’ve learned and as always, to hear from your experiences as well.

It’s easy to get caught up in drama in life.  Certainly the news, work and day-to-day relationships can fill that void and take our focus off of presence, gratitude and compassion.  We can swirl around in the they said/I said confusion and recklessly abandon peace within our hearts.  We can aggrieve hurt and mistrust by only seeing the surface of an issue.  We can ignore the chance for stillness by focusing on the back story of any issue and grow a mountain out of a molehill, complicating perhaps a simple matter until it affects every part of our day, our life and our being.  We can think we know what is meant by an offhand comment, an argument or a social media posting.  But we spin our own selves into stories that are sometimes so far off the mark that it affects relationships in a negative way.

That’s when observer mode comes into play and benefits us.

For when we step back from the chaos in life, we see how each and every one of us comes into a relationship with baggage, with tender spots and with beliefs that may or may not have anything to do with our present situation.  We are encumbered by these and use them in our daily relationships, sometimes as swords, sometimes as a soothing bond.

But when we drop all of that and really focus on the good with compassion in our hearts, the other stuff simply falls by the wayside.  It matters not if the other person is able to observe and not react in the situation.  We can allow them to spin on their own planet of beliefs while we settle into ours in a peace-filled manner.  When we observe with a compassionate listening heart at difficult relationships, we can see how everyone is trying the best we can under the circumstances.  We can find that loving soul that is filled with compassion even when on the outside, it isn’t been shown.  By listening with our heartlight, we uncover the good, the love and the forgiveness for any situation.  We alleviate the suffering we may be feeling by knowing that we can find peace in our own hearts even when we feel that we are swirling in the chaos of a storm.

The ‘story’ we tell ourselves may or may not be true.  When we rely on our observer mode, we instinctively are able to see what we may have missed.  Using our heartlight, we shine a peaceful understanding of circumstances beyond our control.  We emanate love instead of hate, we grow trust instead of mistrust, we gain The Presents of Presence with stillness and we help ourselves to grow spiritually into healthier human beings.  Bottom line, it’s a win-win situation for all involved.

Being able to drop our egos, release our ‘stories’ and unravel what we thought was our life ‘story’, is when we begin to embrace all the wonderful loving peace which is ours by Divine Right.  To look with gratitude at what chaos has brought instead of digging and mixing more into it is a choice.  To feel symmetry with another is to connect on a whole different level.

For we are all God’s children here, doing the best we can under every circumstance.  That’s the best we have at any moment.  What’s hard is when we can spiritually look at a situation and observe, understand and allow and we are alone in that plane for others do not see it in the same way.  But, hey, that’s ok my friends.  This is our life, our loving soul that we are in control of ~ not anyone else’s.  We must trust our intuition, our minds, our heartlights and observe.  Let go of the ‘coulda, woulda, shoulda’s’ that hold us back from peace.  Embrace the circumstances, whatever they may be and move forward with our heartlight shining and singing its beautiful melody.

Life happens.  Shifts happen when we allow it.  There is place of peace in every moment when we observe with gratitude for all of our gifts.

Shine On!

xo

 

How Much Love Do You Put Into What You Do?

“I am not sure exactly what heaven will be like,

but I know that when we die and it comes time for God to judge us,

He will not ask,

‘How many good things have you done in your life?’

rather He will ask,

‘How much love did you put into what you did?”

~ Mother Teresa

I found this quote this morning and thought it was a good reminder for none of us know our exact ‘expiration date’ on this planet unless one chooses to expire early which I hope you will not. ♥

I’ve always thought of kindness and good deeds to be highly regarded, but as I’ve grown older, I find that putting love into everything we do is just as, or perhaps even more important.  It was refreshing to find Mother Teresa’s quote today to confirm that someone else thinks the same as I do.  Isn’t that always the way?  We find comfort in connecting with others?

It’s the simple things my friends.  Love, kindness, gratitude, forgiveness, peace.  Being the best we can be in all aspects of our lives.  Living spherically, listening to others with an open heart to all they say and omit.  Compassionately communicating to help, not harm.  Stepping back when it does not serve you or others to jump into the fray in whatever form.  Stepping up with courageous kindness when it does serve you and others.  Not being afraid to speak the truth in a kind way.  To listen, to be heard, to connect.  To add love in all you do.  To be a role model and shine your heartlight.  To enjoy The Presents of Presence.

Today, try to infuse love into whatever you are doing.  Slow down and be present, be the present of love.  Share a smile, a hug and a “I love you” with someone you cherish.  Really feel the loving connection and be grateful.  Use your beaming heartlight for good.

Shine On!

xo

 

Are You Divergent?

“Becoming fearless isn’t the point.
That’s impossible.
It’s learning
how to control your fear,
and how to be free from it.”
― Veronica Roth, Divergent

Have you read the book or seen the movie?   I had never heard of it until my sister-in-law told me that she and her daughter had watched it after reading the book.  So, when it came on TV one night, I popped some popcorn and snuggled on the couch to watch.  I am so glad that I did.

I will not give away the story, but I will tell you that the lessons learned in the movie about fear are amazing, thought-provoking and interesting.  The belief that we are suited to a type of work, pigeon-holing ourselves by one major human virtue is a challenge for those who fit into more than one and therefore are called divergent.  Divergents are believed to be dangerous by the simple fact that they have more than one equally prominent virtue.

Bravery ~ Selflessness ~ Intelligence ~ Honesty ~ Kindness/Compassion

So which one of the virtues above would you pick if you had to be only one?  Or would you be considered divergent?  Have you ever felt out of place and divergent?  What did you do?  How did/do you handle it?  Please share below as I would love to hear your story.

Shine On!

xo

 

Please Hear What I’m Not Saying…

This poem was sent to me by a friend and it struck such a chord with me that I knew I had to share it with you. ♥  Does it remind you of anyone?

Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear
for I wear a mask, a thousand masks,
masks that I’m afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that’s second nature with me,
but don’t be fooled,
for God’s sake don’t be fooled.
I give you the impression that I’m secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water’s calm and I’m in command
and that I need no one,
but don’t believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this. I don’t want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That’s why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only hope,
and I know it.
That is, if it’s followed by acceptance,
if it’s followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It’s the only thing that will assure me
of what I can’t assure myself,
that I’m really worth something.
But I don’t tell you this. I don’t dare to, I’m afraid to.
I’m afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I’m afraid you’ll think less of me,
that you’ll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I’m afraid that deep-down I’m nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without
and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in the suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that’s really nothing,
and nothing of what’s everything,
of what’s crying within me.
So when I’m going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I’m saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I’m not saying,
what I’d like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can’t say.

I don’t like hiding.
I don’t like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you’ve got to help me.
You’ve got to hold out your hand
even when that’s the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you’re kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings–
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator–an honest-to-God creator–
of the person that is me
if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me the blinder I may strike back.
It’s irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.

~ Charles C. Finn
September 1966

Shine On!

xo

You can read a collection of stories about the poem’s impact in Please Hear What I’m Not Saying: a Poem’s Reach around the World

Hope in the New Year

The sun rose on a new year, and my heart was filled with such hope.

Welcome 2015!  I lay to rest 2014 with a heavy heart.  I awaken with enthusiasm for the beauty, hope and love that a new year and a new chapter bring to my heart.

I do not believe in resolutions for they are too restrictive to me.  Instead, last year I chose a power word which coincidentally was LOVE ~ and I learned much about LOVE last year.  I have thought much about what my theme would be this year, trying out all new words in order to choose what I feel is right for my new life.

TAPESTRY:  To weave through my radiant days with loving joy the following attributes

Love

Empowerment

Health

Wealth

Happiness

Service

Hope

Kindness

Compassion

Gratitude

Faith

*Not necessarily in this order…

May 2015 be your year of wishes fulfilled with plenty of love, laughter, gratitude, health, wealth, hope and happiness.

Shine On!

xo