A Book To Read: Courage

I met Karen Lang through the blogosphere many moons ago.  What stood out for me was her immense compassion, kindness and her ability to connect through blogging.  As I got to know her story through her blog, I realized that she had lived through experiences that I never had and that her healing being was powerful.

Recently, I picked up her book finally after many years of thinking I should read it because even though it is sadly about the passing of her son Nathan and the grief which followed, I felt drawn to read her story.  What ensued was my determination to write a post about her incredible book and her journey through grief after the death of her son.

Because what I found was that her book is a universal healing experience, even though my life journey is different.  I found myself reading and learning so much that I was unable to put her book down until I finished it.  I cuddled on my couch, her book in my lap and allowed the day to unfold as I read and I am so grateful that I did.

Karen’s ability to write as if we were friends, sitting together on a warm summer’s day as she shared her story drew me in right from the start and kept me with her throughout the book as she allowed the layers of her journey to unfold.  Karen offers healing to those who read her book and shares her experiences with honesty, vulnerability and presence.

There’s a beauty within all of us that we can embrace or disconnect from as life’s experiences change us.  It takes great courage to walk our life’s path and to accept and forgive what we cannot understand…and it takes healing to find the peace and love within again.  Karen has done all that and more as you will find when you read her inspirational book of Courage.

You will love her blog Living In This Moment.

Here is her author page as well Karen Lang author page.

I highly recommend her book even if you have not suffered the death of a child (and if you have, this is your time to be supported on the road to healing).  Her book doesn’t need to be read in one sitting either as she offers help after every chapter which also truly aided me.  It’s just that I couldn’t put her book down, but I am keeping it in my library to reread again for when I need grief support.  Yes, it’s truly that lovely of a book!

It’s Sunday, a day of family in our home.  I believe we’re going to get the Christmas tree today since the weather is chilly but not wet out.  May you wrap your hearts around your loved ones.  May you remember those who have passed and may you find gratitude in being here in this very moment – The Presents of Presence.

Shine On!

xo

Rest in Peace – Molly’s Movement

My heartfelt sadness goes out to Joey Daley as his mom Molly passed away recently.  If you are a caregiver or have a loved one with Alzheimer’s or Dementia, please take a few moments to watch the video below and listen to Joey.  Molly had Lewy Body Dementia for ten years and through Joey’s chronicles, he has shown us Molly’s true courage and his as well.

There are so many inspiring people in our world.  Thank you Joey and Molly for being you!  A mother’s love and support never die and they stay with us forever.

Shine On!

xo

We Honor You

It’s Memorial Day.  Everywhere I look it seems I see flags flying high and parades of proud Americans marching in honor of Memorial Day.  Today we are reminded of the sadness in memory of our fallen who served our country.  We remember.

I remember.  I take a few minutes this morning with my coffee to remember those who have gone before me and even those who are still here who have served our country.  I have a lot of family who served our country.  Some are still here, others have passed away.  But each one of them proudly served and were changed by their experiences.  To have a day set aside in ceremony to honor them warms my heart.

When I try to think about the sacrifices that those in the military have given up for us, it feels unimaginable.  The changes that seem to occur through their unique experiences holds such a tender spot in my heart for I know I cannot even begin to fathom what they’ve endured, when they have seen battles and even when they haven’t.

I imagine the changes in psyche that occur for those in military service.  It cannot be otherwise the civilian in me thinks.  Just the training and mindset to be willing to serve our country and the courage to potentially lay down your life for what you believe in and for countless strangers and citizens.   I’m in awe.  I’m honored.

So please accept my humble thank you to all on this day.  I remember you.

Shine On!

xo

 

On The Topic Of Guilt And Shame

Guilt and shame are powerful emotions.  In the name of guilt and shame, people often choose differently.  For example, if you’re guilty for doing something wrong, you’d probably ask for forgiveness.  But sometimes, if you’re feeling ashamed, you might lash out in anger and be defensive.

Guilt and shame do things to people that other emotions don’t seem to in life.  While I haven’t read the book from Brené Brown yet, I have every intention of doing so because I find the topic so interesting.

Here’s a TED talk from Brené Brown which I found eye-opening!

Human beings are so complex, aren’t we?  Emotionally, mentally and physically, I’m fascinated by how people think, feel and react.  I think I should have studied more psychology when I was younger because the mind’s complexity continues to enthrall me with all its intricacies.

Let me leave you with the most powerful quote from the above talk for me:

If we are going to find our way back to each other, vulnerability is going to be that path.

Sending you love from my heartlight today in case you’re in need of a little comfort.

Shine On!

xo

Defending Your Life

Do you ever wonder what happens when you die?  I was watching a movie called Defending Your Life the other night when I began thinking about just that!  It’s an Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep movie which came out in 1991.  Maybe the trailer below will ring a bell in you?

In the movie, after death, there’s a stay in Judgment City whereby you defend your actions on Earth in order to ascend to a higher plane of existence.  Daniel Miller (Albert Brooks) is on trial for being afraid.

And that’s the thought that jolted me out of my limited thinking.

Fear.  Being afraid.  Worrying about what others think.  Not taking chances when we could have – which might have led to growth.  Holding back.  Not taking opportunities which were given to us.  Tormenting ourselves over woulda, coulda, shoulda times when other choices, like the road less traveled, were presented.

We’ve all heard the adages in different ways:  We only have one life.  Life is short.  100% of the chances not taken, are missed.

I am sure you could add to that list exponentially, but those are just a few of the ones I’ve heard in my lifetime.  And yet, it’s not complacency that holds us back from living our lives to their fullest potential.  It’s fear.

So today, perhaps as you go about your day, look for those miraculous opportunities which present themselves quietly.  When given options, maybe you’ll decide to take a calculated chance to do something different.  Go after your dreams and press out of your self-limited comfort zones, a baby step at a time.  Live your life with enthusiasm and openness.  Free yourself from the confines of your fears.  Open the gate to living an authentically, beautiful life which is yours by Divine Right.

Be YOU, in all your splendid beauty.

Shine On!

xo

 

Cancer Changed Me

Hope ~ Strength ~ Power ~ Belief ~ Courage ~ Honor ~ Determination

I have been told that cancer changed me.  Indeed, it wasn’t said it in the nicest of ways.  In fact, it was taken as a disparaging comment and I was appalled by the off-hand comment.  My first reaction was to defend myself at the time, to show how cancer didn’t change me.  But I left well-enough alone and decided to say nothing.  However, I was hurt by the retort.

Had cancer really changed me?

The question mulled in my head for days and many sleepless nights, more than I’d like to admit, but it’s true.  I’ve written how cancer changes you enough times in this blog to know that the reality is – YES, cancer changes most of us.  It has to, or we wouldn’t still be here.  For we have seen into the yawning mouth of our own demise, endured the most feared emotions and have come out of it alive, so far.  Looking at your own potential death does change you.

It makes you more aware for the most part.  Some of us now see with finite definition that life is short and there are no guarantees how much time we have on this earth.  We become grateful for the beauty in nature, for the simple pleasures that kindness brings and for a real, loving hug which can cure many ills.  We look to connect with others more because we know what it’s like to feel alone.  We share our stories, encourage each other and find the courage to be who we authentically are!  We smile when we are tired.  We work hard to overcome obstacles and to be there for others, even when we feel depleted.  We take that extra moment to smile and to enjoy goodness when it comes into our lives.  We are grateful for the support that we have been given and we look to support others to continue the flow of goodness.  We share tips to help others and happily receive tips to make our lives easier.

We know that all the money in the world, with all the frivolities are fleeting and really don’t mean a damn when death comes knocking at our door.  It’s that silence between ourselves and our maker (or our beliefs) in the quiet of the night that counts.  It’s regarding peace within as a precious gift, time spent with loved ones and a centered calm in which to retreat when life becomes hard.  It’s the voice within the stillness which speaks of love, gratitude, peace with ourselves and others and God.

Yes, cancer changed me.  That’s for sure.  Perhaps it was the misunderstanding of me that caused this person to spout the ‘dig’ as I took it.  Sometimes it takes a loss for us to be humble and perhaps there will be people who simply never understand.  And that’s ok with me.

I am me, authentically me.  I make mistakes, I ask for forgiveness and I forgive.  I choose to live in a state of peace within when I can, but I am always evolving, ever growing and yet, trying to do all things with love.  I intend to do my best, at any given moment, but I’m human.  I’m a work in progress.  Aren’t we all?

What’s precious to me in my life is love, kindness and connections and I strive every day to live with those three precious gems in my life.  Cancer made me a better person by giving me so many lessons in my life.  I’ve learned so much from cancer, even though I never wanted to endure that disease.  Looking back on my life, I realize that I am who I am today because of cancer.  Even if others don’t understand me, it’s ok now.  I’m at peace and I’m ever grateful for the peace within me.

Shine On!

xo

Recipe for Enduring Breast Cancer

Hope Strength Power Belief Courage Honor Determination

In order to survive Breast Cancer (and any other illness, tragedy, trauma) it’s necessary to collect all of your essential ingredients in order to endure the situation at hand.  A great dose of support is also needed as back up when your ingredients run low and you need a refill.  A quick jog to the store won’t suffice.  You need a team, a village, to count on and that’s where the internet, blogs, websites and support groups can wield a mighty sword to help you combat your ills.

A hefty dose of the above helps:

Hope

Strength

Power

Belief

Courage

Honor

Determination

In addition to a heavy handed sprinkling of

Humor, Love, Presence and Support.

Which is all fine and good as words, but how do you go about stockpiling these main ingredients when you’ve just been blindsided by your diagnosis and news?  I wish I could say it is easy, but it’s not.  That’s where your determination comes in.  You have to set your own mind to believing that you have the courage, the strength, the hope, and the inner power to endure.

You have all of this inside ~ you simply have to tap into it.  You must do the work.  There’s no way around it.  It is your mind that needs to have its power harnessed to heal your life.  Humor, love, presence and support may come from the outside from which you can receive the stores from others.  But you my friend, must believe that you are ready and worthy to battle and must prepare your mind, heart and soul to overcome the obstacles that are placed before you.

So how do you do this?  You harness your mind by feeding it positive thinking.  You eradicate negativity from your life, like removing rose petals from a rose, you gently pluck the negative thoughts from your heart and in place, you add the essence of the rose ~ the inner beauty and strength that comes from a rose simply being a rose.

Is this making any sense to you?  Do you need concrete examples?  Are you thinking I’m too pie in the sky for you?  Too Pollyanna and yippy skippy?  Not down to Earth enough?

Watch for it.  In the meantime, you need to get yourself ready.  Enjoy this day.  Get outside and look up to the sky.  Breathe.  Take 3 minutes to just listen to the wind, feel the earth under your feet and reconnect with nature.  Find a bit of inner and outer peace in being present.  You don’t have to do it for long.   Just feel the peace.

I’m holding  your hand.  You’ve got a friend in me.  Take your time.  Allow the grief and the healing to come to you and welcome it with your arms open wide.  You can do this!

Shine On!

xo

Behind the Closed Door

Most of us have, at one time or another, come across the following two quotes:

“When one door closes, another door opens, but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.”– Alexander Graham Bell

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one, which has been opened for us.” – Helen Keller

but it’s how we choose to deal with the closed door that makes all the difference.

We’ve all had ups and downs in our lives.  We don’t leave this lifetime without some tears, some smiles, laughter, love and disappointments.  It happens.  Life goes on.  Changes come gradually and sometimes they come in the blink of an eye.  Best laid plans sometimes go awry.  But we always have a choice to sit in front of a closed door, pining for something/someone or we can look around to discover that there’s more to life than the past that waits behind the door.

It takes courage.  We have a choice, but sometimes we forget that we indeed have that choice.  Sometimes it’s we who close the door and sometimes the door is closed on us.  Either way, we can sit outside the door expectantly, we can turn the knob to see if it’s locked or we can turn around and see what else there is in life.

At one time or another in this lifetime, I have experienced each scenario above and allowed the door to dictate my reaction.  Nowadays, I am seeing the door in a different light.  My past is behind the closed door and what goes on behind closed doors, stays behind closed doors.

The choice to wait expectantly in front of a closed door is ours alone to choose.  The choice to look around for another door or window of opportunity to see that there is more to life than that one door takes courage, but we already have that courage within us.  We just need to tap into it.

So take my hand dear friends.  If you are seeing a closed door in your life, let’s stop staring at the closed door.  Let’s spin around and view the goodness which surrounds us.  Let’s walk together to see what else life has in store for the possibilities are endless once we take that first baby step.

Keep shining your heartlights.  You are perfect, whole and complete just as you are.  I can see you twinkling from here and I send you a warm, heartfelt embrace.

Shine On!

xo

Shine Your Heartlight

I wish you peace, love and understanding.  I wish you happiness, gratitude and hope.  I pray you find inner healing.  My hopes are that you shine your heartlight with courage, faith and serenity.  Illuminate the world with your special self ~ do not be afraid for you are perfect, whole and complete, just the way you are!

May love’s blessings surround you every day of your life!

Shine On!

xo

Stand Alone

“It takes great courage to break with one’s past history and stand alone.” 

~ Marion Woodman

May you find some comfort, a bit of courage and much inspiration in the above quote…and in this blog.

Shine On!

xo