Depending upon the situation, I usually prefer to rely on myself for too many times I’ve been berated for being sad ~ even having been told that my personality had changed when my Dad died and I was left with the burdens that followed. To this day, that thoughtless comment has changed the way I feel about sharing and has caused me to pull away from those in whom I confided and trusted. I’m surrounded by well-meaning friends and family who sometimes just don’t get it and when I’m feeling that misunderstood, I simply hibernate until I can re-emerge the happy girl that they prefer ~ and they have shamelessly told me that they prefer the happy girl.
What is it about being sad that bothers people, especially when there’s a death, a loss, an illness and many stressors involved? Is it proper to simply pretend all the time like they do? That all is honky dory instead of reality? Being that one dimensional is boring to me and quite utterly superficial. I’m not a proponent of being sad all the time, but I do allow myself to feel my feelings. I can’t help it. I am ME and I am not them.
The older I get, the more I have moved away from such personalities. I find it hard to believe that being real and actually answering the ‘how are you?’ with a truthful answer, even couched with the positivity that I know things will get better, can be misconstrued to such a degree. Perhaps with those, it is better to simply say, ‘fine’ and move on as that’s how they’d prefer the answer. There’s no depth when we answer in a robotic manner when it’s truly not fine.
I have friends and family whom I trust to help when needed and I seek them out. We share a trust which allows us to help each other on a deeper level. Fine, just doesn’t cut it with our friendship when the tone of our voices show that things are anything but fine. We support each other and we allow each other space. We’ve connected beyond the ‘fine.’
Most of the time, I am ‘fine’ but I like to use more descriptive words ~ happy, healthy, blessed, feeling yippy skippy! (ok, I just made that up, but you get what I mean!) But I also know how to self-soothe and reach out when needed. You know that I love to connect with others, so if you need me, you know I’ll be there for you! I will hear the un-fine in the word fine and lend an ear, a hand and a heart!
Daily Prompt: I Am a Rock
Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it, or do you prefer to rely only on yourself? Why?
Photographers, artists, poets: show us SELF.