
As you may realize, October is Breast Cancer Awareness month and was renamed Pinktober to raise awareness, promote early screening and fund research. It’s an interesting month for those of us who have battled breast cancer. Sometimes it feels like pink ribbons reign everywhere, a not-so-subtle reminder of what we’ve endured while battling the disease.
I’ve personally lost friends to this disease which Pinktober shines a light on, for not all of us survived. I’ve written plenty about my friends who have passed, so I won’t repeat myself, but still, this isn’t an easy journey. Being honest, sometimes this life isn’t an easy journey, cancer diagnosis or not, but we keep going and rest when we need to, because that’s the inner strength that is born from battling difficulties.
I’m grateful that I’m still here. I have had a lot of support and love throughout my almost 25 year journey and I never take it for granted. It was never easy for me, nor for my family, friends and loved ones, to go through, but I’m still here today because of all their kind efforts and for them believing in me, including the amazing doctors, surgeons, and oncologists who continue with me today. It’s most definitively a group effort! It wasn’t pretty though. It was a messy time in my life and the spector of that remains even after all of it for we never know if/when it may return. I’ve had a few scares over the years, more issues, more problems, but it’s never quite reared its ugly head again in full force for which I’m eternally grateful. I’d like to be here to see my sons marry someday so that I’ll know they have a partner who will be with them when I’m gone. But life doesn’t always work out the way we plan it and that’s ok.
Breast cancer fighters/survivors know this firsthand. With disfiguring surgeries which (hopefully) remove the cancer, we learn that our breasts aren’t what make us women. We’re so much more than those cups. Chemotherapy may poison the cancer cells, the hair follicles, etc., but no matter what the body is enduring, the soul, the heart, the essence of who we are continues. By the time we reach radiation, that feels like a walk in the park in comparison. Subsequent medicines and/or surgeries to continue on the warpath may be needed as well and we need additional strength as fatigue sets in. It seems like a never-ending journey of endurance. But the end is sweet when we’re set free to go live, live, live!
Living after a cancer diagnosis looks differently because we’re different. Even with all of the loving, caring support we have been given, at night, alone in our minds, we have a choice – we choose our thoughts, our path, our beliefs. We excavate from a deerper part of our soul to empower ourselves, to believe that we can endure another chemo round, to survive another surgery, to get up the following morning to be present with our beloved family in the best way we possibly can.
We do it for ourselves and for everyone else. The grace and dignity that come with this part of a life path isn’t easily learned, but the growth that comes from it isn’t temporary. It changes our lives completely and truth be told? Perhaps for the better because we’re wiser. We’ve seen how precious this life is. We know in our hearts that love is all there is – the legacy that is left when we leave this earth for the last time. Our lives will be just a memory for some, a fading memory, so we have to be present in each and every moment that we can for there is no guarantee for a happy ending. That’s the burden and the gift behind The Presents of Presence.
Shine On!
xo








