Tag Archive | future

Leave The Past Behind

leavethepastbehind

Sweet friends, it’s challenging when our parents get older and we begin to take care of them.  Sometimes the past relationships get in the way of our thinking and it gets harder to be patient and kind.  Few grown children don’t carry some reminders of injustice or hurts that they sometimes unwittingly carry into adulthood and that can spill over into the present day relationships with our parents.

I understand.

But dear friends, it’s time to let go of the past and focus on the present.  This can be a hard task to accomplish, but I have faith in you and I am willing to hold your hand while you walk this path.

Guilt, shame and frustrations build when we are tasked with parenting when we are still holding on to hurts from the past.  Also, parents can do the same so that the relationship can be hard to navigate, especially when you, their child, is now in charge.

Why can’t he/she be nice?  Can’t they see I’m trying to help?  Why do they act that way?  I’m tired of this!  This is not my responsibility because they did x, y or z to me when I was little, a teenager, an adult….this list of complaints can go on and on.

And yes, I agree that this is hard for you (and for them).  My heart goes out to you all as I’ve been there and I have felt similarly to some degree.  I get it.  So you may be asking, How the heck did I get into this place of peace?

I let go baby!  I rose above the hurts to a place of peace in my heart.  I did it for them and I did it for me.  I love them innately and I see them as human beings doing their best, just as I am.  I love from a place of understanding, of forgiveness and with peace in my heart.  I go into the day with prayer for patience to help me throughout the day and to help them.  I get out of my own head and try to see things from their perspective and then it dawns on me, how they’re feeling.  I come from a place of healing hearts and simply trying to make all of our lives happier.  Sometimes I succeed and sometimes I don’t.  So then, I ask for forgiveness, to myself and to them and to God and I just begin again.

When you don’t feel like you’ve succeeded or when it’s been a really hard day, let go of the bad and just hang onto the good.  Let the hard times fall away from your thinking and hold onto that kernel of goodness.  There is some goodness every day.  Sometimes you just have to search a bit to find the blessing, but it’s always there.

Allow the past to have no power over you.  Live solidly in the present and allow the future to take care of itself.  Be present with loved ones and find the joy in connecting with them.  Role model love, kindness, caring and joy.  Innately you are a healer so use your gifts wisely.  And if you need to throw up your hands in frustration, by all means, do it in privacy.  Give yourself a time out to recoup before exploding with negativity.

Remember, your parents/elderly loved ones aren’t necessarily trying to make it harder on you.  They are simply doing what they can at this time.  And even if you don’t believe that or you think I’m full of Pollyanna hooey, give them the benefit of the doubt and give it to yourself when it comes to doing your best.

We are all on this journey called Life.  Lessons come to us in many forms to deepen our understanding of love.  Because let’s face it, love is what this life is all about and sometimes love and forgiveness walk hand in hand.  It take a lot of love to be someone else’s lesson.  Perhaps that thought will give you peace in your heart.  Your parent loves you enough to teach you a life lesson, whatever the lesson my be.  Be grateful for their love and for the lesson.  Hold them closely.  Forgive and forget.  Heal yourself and others.  You are more than capable to choose the high road and now’s the time.

Don’t do it simply because I suggested it.  Do it for yourself.  Raising the love vibrations in this world helps us all.  And it starts with you, dear friend.  Shine your heartlight.  I believe in you.

Shine On!

xo

 

 

 

The Layers of Now

thelayersofnow

The Layers of Now

Being present is what I yearn to be, although like many others, I teeter-totter in the realm of past rememberings or anticipating future fears of what’s to come.  It’s a fine line between the past, the present and the future.  One sharp word can trigger a memory and I’m conjuring up past wounds, beliefs and heartbreak.  One kind word and I’m breathing deeply in the present moment, finding my center of peace.  One anxious word and I’m fearing the uncharted territory of the future.

So where does one go?

Into The Layers of Now!

The Layers of Now is how I’ve found peace within me during chaotic times of trouble which seem to gather around me lately like thunderclouds sweeping in during a summer storm.  I don’t know if I can explain what I’m doing so that it will make sense to you, but I will try.

Simply put, I consciously try with all of my might,

to layer my present moment of presence.

If I need to cha cha into the past, I take a few steps back, rock forward to the present moment and repeat as necessary until the dance becomes obscured by the smile on my face as the music trills in my head, because I have changed my tune.  I drop what wounds I held onto as they don’t serve me anymore.  I allow the knowledge that we are all here together, doing the best we can to remind me that I am not without mistakes either.  I forgive the past, remember what I have endured and face the present with peace in my heart.

If I need to face the future, I step up, then rock back to the present and repeat as necessary.  Never actually staying in the future for it is certainly uncertain at this point, but also, never losing sight of the solidity of the present moment.  Thus I can grow my presents of presence.

Then, when I need to feel present in all the glory or chaos that is this very moment, I step to the side, into observer mode, facing my fears, my angst, euphoria and sadness with the magnitude of a maestro layering the chorus of past/present/future into a hit song that encompasses it all!  I stand by, not engaging, but simply looking with gratitude for all the facets of my life, no matter where they may be, past, present, future, happy, sad, uncertain and I just envelope them in my heart as the layers of now and rejoice, for I am here to experience and connect each and every emotion and feeling.

I am here,

to witness my life as it is right now with gratitude.

*

I am here,

to remember how far I have come from my past with gratitude.

*

I am here,

to open my heart, mind and soul,

to welcome with arms outstretched,

the unseen experiences that may come my way on my future path.

All at the same time.

Connecting…The Layers of Now.

Shine On!

xo

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/layers/

 

 

Palm Reader Channeled ~ Message For Everyone

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The Daily Prompt today asks the question:    You’re on a long flight, and a palm reader sitting next to you insists she reads your palm.  You hesitate, but agree.  What does she tell you?

When she takes my hands into hers, I feel a slight electric buzz, but knowing I am nervous, I shrug off the coincidence.  But is it a coincidence or is it our energy flowing from one soul to another?  Her hands are warm and dry and I feel mine begin to sweat.  My mind pinballs back and forth between thinking this is just a lark and fearing that she has the capacity to read me.  She knows this as she senses my apprehension and yet my willingness to literally put my palm in hers.

She gazes into my eyes and I decide to relax and go with the flow.  My mind still is alert with worry as I do not know this woman at all.  She is a stranger, but dressed in normal clothing.  But there is something angelic about her that I can’t pin down.  But I am trying to show her that I am not afraid of what she may reveal, yet I am worried that she’ll see into my soul with precision.  I assure myself in my mind that I have nothing to hide, but there is a sense of anxiety buzzing through my body.

“Rest easy, dear one.  This experience will not hurt, but only help you as you wander on your life path,” I hear her say and yet her lips do not move.  For a moment I’m stunned, wondering if she is telepathically speaking to me or if it were my Guardian Angel or God or maybe I’m losing my mind.

She nods ever so slightly as the thoughts fly through my head.  She knows what I am thinking!  Yikes!

Without a sound, she turns my palms over to face her and gently holds my hands with hers.  Nervous energy excites and frightens me at the same time.  She lets out a deep breath as I do as well.  Mine is to expel the pent up nervousness.  I wonder what hers is?  A clearing in order to read me?

She drops her gaze and studies my hands quietly.  I feel myself relax and a warm serenity envelopes me.  It’s as if we are in our own bubble in the world.  She closes her eyes for a few moments and her breathing deepens.  I can feel our energies mixing.  I am willing to allow her to read me.

“What I am about to say, may not make sense to you now, but one day it will.  Your life line is long, but breaks in various places.  You have witnessed deaths and have been a death’s door yourself.”

I nod, not daring to speak.

“You are an empath soul, which means you love completely.  You feel what others do.  You are compassionate and a giver.  This trio causes you much pain and yet reaps much joy for your soul.  You are surrounded by a white light and many lessons.  You are not finished with your journey here yet.  You have much to learn, more to grow and many to teach.  Your spiritual awareness is growing, but you fear the acceptance of this knowledge for it makes you different.  But you are already different from the many people who surround you.  You know this, but it feels solitary at times.  Do not weep dear one, for you are never alone.  Your journey is fraught with emotion, spiritual awakenings and compassionate understanding for yourself and others.  You are tested.  You do not fail, if you believe it to be so.  The key of self-worth, knowing you are perfect, whole and complete in the Lord’s eyes will benefit you so remember who you are.  Do not allow the superficial world to sway you.  You are gifted and you must use your gifts and your power for good.”

We had both been staring at my palms as she spoke quietly, murmuring the reading for my ears only.  In such a soft voice, she continued her reading.

“I see hardship.  I see tears.  I see betrayal.  I see forgiveness.  I see love.  I see light.  I see your Divine Purpose coming to fruition as you grow, learn and accept.  I see acknowledgement, acceptance and spiritual understanding increasing day by day.  Do not be content, but strive to learn, to grow, to universally connect with others.  You will be taught and you will teach, that is the give and take of this lifetime.”

I began to choke back the tears that were falling rapidly from my eyes, running down my cheeks with alarming abandon.  My nose was feeling drippy, but I hesitated to break the spell.

“Look with favor on this chosen path.  Allow yourself the freedom to be yourself, to speak from your heart and to allow others to hear what they choose.  Be one with the Spirit of the Divine.  You are human.  Mistakes are made, but the angelic reminders of your life will remain in small moments of the memory of others.  Do not be afraid of financial gain.  Put it to good use in order to spread peace with others.  Connect with your blessings.  Begin again without fear.  Remind yourself often that each day begins a new dawn full of possibility.  Live to your fullest ability for we know not our expiration date.  Be kinder to yourself and others.  Err on the side of love for that is where your strength lies.  Meditate.  Visit Mother Nature daily.  Pray.  Sing.  Patience, dear one.  Time reveals your golden path.”

Sniffling and trying not to gross her out, I began breathing deeply, as the sadness which had overwhelmed me by her words faded away gently without warning.  She turned my hands over, clasping them in hers with a warm, long hold and then released my hands.  My fingers fumbled through my purse immediately to find a tissue to sop up the wet mess that was my face and nose.  She turned slightly in her seat to face the front of the plane, laid her hands in her lap and closed her eyes.  I didn’t dare disturb her.  Blowing my nose with embarrassed gusto, tissue after tissue, I dried my face, setting myself back in order.

As I leaned back into my seat again, I peeked over, but she was motionless, eyes still closed.  I turned my head to look out the window at the sky.  The most gorgeous rainbow I have ever seen appeared as if by magic.  A smile grew on my lips as a warm sense of serenity spread throughout my body.  I eagerly watched as the rainbow faded away as miraculously as it had appeared.  I closed my eyes and fell into a gentle sleep.

I awoke to her nudging me as I felt the plane’s wheels hit the runway at our destination.  She smiled at me, looking into my eyes and without moving her lips I heard, “This was my gift to you, dear one.  I am as grateful as you are to connect and to have had this experience.  Share it with others.  Remember you are never alone.  You are loved.”

The pilot broke the reverie with his announcement that we could begin to deboard and in an instant, she was gone.  I don’t think I ever said much to her.  I began to berate myself for never even uttering the word thank you while she was here as I was so mesmerized by her aura.  Whispering to her spirit, I said, “Thank you my friend,” and I heard her voice reply, “You are most welcome.”

Shine On!

xo

Come Join the Celebration!

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Congratulations!

February 1st, 2002 was the date that I had my bilateral mastectomy due to my breast cancer diagnosis and the pathology report which read that after my lumpectomy, I still had breast cancer in my body.  It’s also the date that marks the fact that I finally took hold of my own health and my life and decided to prophylactically take the non-cancerous breast as well, much to my surgeon’s chagrin.  I can happily report to you, that I still stand by my decision as it was the right one for me.

There is so much I have learned in the last 11 years since that day that I walked into the OR by myself, sobbing after being taken away from hugging my supportive husband who still stands by my side.  In the wake of having had those breasts reconstructed with silicone implants twice since then and then after having one of those implants rupture last year, beginning multiple surgeries to create what I now have for breasts which is body tissue taken from other parts of my body to make new, real, soft fleshy breasts which are mine and not artificial, hard, painful implants which I had endured because I had no choice, I am celebrating!

Since my breast cancer diagnosis on New Year’s Eve of 2001, my life has changed so dramatically that words fail me in trying to explain how richer my life has become.  I have endured much suffering, but I have also reaped many blessings.  I am grateful for each and every day when I arise from my bed to greet the world.  I am thankful for life’s blessings, the big and small ones and I know firsthand the meaning of the preciousness of time.  I practice being present in my life ~ enjoying The Presents of Presence ~ meaning actually being in the moment and enjoying what that moment offers.  My intent to cast worry from my shoulders is an ongoing trial in my life, but I accept that it is a work in progress.

I know I am blessed with a loving family and much support in my life and I rejoice in the fact that I can continue to send out love on a daily basis through my blog, my FB page The Presents of Presence, my SendOutCards business and my actions.   I have struggled through the grief of losing my breasts, fighting the disease through multiple surgeries (more than 10 and counting), ACT (chemotherapy), radiation, the loss of my ovaries at age 35 (salpingo oophorectomy), multiple needles, shots, medications, tamoxifen, arimidex,  the loss of my hair, my self-esteem, my confidence as a woman, the sad passing of friends from the same disease and the mortal fear of reoccurrence.  This is not a pity party by any means, so please don’t mis-understand me.  It’s actually a celebration of triumph!

My mother-in-law texted me this morning, “Have an especially happy day!” and I knew exactly what she meant for I knew that she remembered ~ and I knew that she would be there with me celebrating this momentous event.  I’m still here!  I have no painful implants anymore!  I have come full circle today ~ from having my God-given breasts, to having them removed due to dis-ease, to having them reconstructed not once, but twice with implants, to having been miraculously restored and reconstructed with breasts again which are of my own flesh and blood.

I am not sure that if you haven’t experienced this phenomenon that you can imagine how incredible it is to be here 11 years later celebrating so many wonderful gifts that my life has brought to me.  It is with heartfelt tears of joy, of gratitude and of above all, love that I write to you today.  However, knowing that we all carry burdens while we endure our journey on this earth, I feel like this is OUR CELEBRATION TODAY!  So please indulge me as I invite you to celebrate love and life on the first of February (don’t forget to say Rabbit Rabbit)  as well as family, friends, miracles, faith, joy, laughter, tears, gratitude, blessings, health, compassion, friendship…I could go on and on!

Celebrate Today my friends…Yesterday is the past, tomorrow is the future…

Today is a gift, that’s why we call it the Present!

May The Presents of Presence

Be with You Every Day!

Shine On!

xo