We Are Here To Serve

I’ve often wondered, why me? when life gets hard.  I think it’s a normal response when we feel overwhelmed by hard life experiences.  We’ve all had them, but to different extents and different types of experiences.  Dysfunctional relationships.  Cancer.  Financial problems.  Death of a loved one.  Divorce.  Alzheimer’s.  Childhood hurts.  Depression.  Family relationships gone awry.  Illness.  Just to name a few, I am sure we share some of the same hurdles, but maybe in different ways.

Life experiences teach us what we couldn’t have learned otherwise.  We can’t help others if we haven’t endured similar issues in our own lives.  What’s that quote?  Walk a mile in my shoes?  Maybe I haven’t walked in your particular shoes, but perhaps my similar experience is enough to connect with you and to help you on this life journey.

I am grateful for all that I have endured in my lifetime.  When we can see the gratitude in the hardships, we can change how we feel about them.  We increase our faith and our love quotient.  We rise above what we could have let hold us back from living a full life.

We are all here to help each other as we connect, we bond and we share our experiences.  There’s nothing better than someone else who knows what you are going through (by similar experience) who reaches out to share the experience with you as a friend, a guiding light to help you find peace within while offering a hand to hold as you heal.

The Why Me?  was answered recently by my soul who gave the response that if I hadn’t endured these experiences, I would be unable to connect so purely with others who may be in the trenches.  Without first-hand knowledge, I would only be able to sympathize and not empathize and put myself in similar shoes.  Does that make sense to you?

What I know for sure (thanks to Oprah for the phrase) is that we are here to serve one another in this lifetime.  To share experiences, to open our hearts with compassion and love and to shine our heartlights together!

You are not alone…take my hand and let’s…

Shine On!

xo

How To Stop Being a “Fixer”

It is truly time to allow, to let go and to find a way to not fix it all. I was/am? a person who liked to be in control. Not demanding mind you, (at least I didn’t think I was), but I liked to know the plan and execute it. We may sound similar if you are reading this post. But I have learned that through this journey, I’ve had to let go and it is still hard for me to do. But in letting go, I’ve opened up to an abundance of awareness, growth, love, friendship, connections with others and had an incredible soul journey that would not have been available to me had I stayed in the control, fix it place. Because, what hit me was the line, ‘who died and left you boss? You are not God,’ which I hope does not offend you, but perhaps gives you the added boost to see from an observer mode instead of the path ahead (that we had planned so carefully) that has literally fallen to pieces.

I see the path ahead now, strewn with debris and sometimes avalanches of emotion, hurt, betrayal and sadness. But there is still a path and as I take baby steps forward, I can clear the debris, learn from the experiences and keep moving on. I’ve found that there are others on this path that help me as I help you and as you help me to move forward.  And then also to rest when needed.

I’m not asking you to give up control or to stop fixing…I’m only asking you to accept what is unacceptable as part of the journey of life and to find peace in your heart to welcome the lessons as they will make you stronger in body/mind/soul. It’s a great leap of faith that is your opportunity here. I’m not saying that you need to find God as I don’t even know how you feel about religion.  I believe in God, Divinity and the Universe.  I am comfortable in being spiritual and using what I learn by reading, by communicating and by connecting with others and I find that I am making my own way, picking and choosing what feels right to me at that time ~ and sometimes choosing again when it’s not serving me. That’s the beauty of life.

Many of us come to this life with the idea that everything should be hunky dory because we’ve worked so hard to make it be as such. We strive for the even keel and smooth sailing, but storms arise, even in nature and we must accept that piece in order to find peace. There comes a time in life when we need to grow, to expand our horizons, to search for our next level of understanding in life.

Fix yourself is the first lesson.  Take care of you ~ nuture yourself, grow in your understanding, be patient with yourself and others, read, meditate and allow.  Allowing yourself 5 minutes of silence in which to simply breathe and focus in the morning and at night helps.  You are in charge of you.  You are not in control of anyone else on the fixing level.  Every single person has free will and can choose how they live their life.  You are not God.  Allow Him to do His job and you will see how amazing life can be!

Shine On!

xo

How To Find Gratitude In Having A Tough Life

Many of us have had difficulties in our lives, some not of our own making, but all the same, ours.  We’ve had health problems, family issues, dysfunctional relationships, financial difficulties etc.  You know who you are and what you’ve had.  So when you want to raise the white flag in surrender after you’ve hit the wall crying, “UNCLE!” I understand.  I’ve been there.  When you want to toss your toys from your crib like a toddler with a tantrum, I understand.  I’ve been there.  You may even want to throw a pity party the size of Yankee Stadium,  I understand.  I’ve been there.  When you want to cry, “Why me, Lord?” and fall to you knees, I understand.  I’ve been there.

It’s frustrating.  It’s depressing.  It’s mind-blowing.  It’s all encompassing and exhausting.  You can drag yourself through life feeling overwhelmed and bemoaning your difficult situations as having a tough life.  You can just add up everything and proclaim “I’ve had a hard life” and allow that blanket statement to define you.

Or….you can find gratitude and use your power for good!

You can inspire others to keep shining their heartlights!

What????  Some of you may be asking ~ Has she lost her mind?  Feel gratitude for the poop I’ve endured?  Does she not know what I’ve had to deal with?  Blah Blah Blah…(Insert complaints all around).  I didn’t deserve this, I didn’t ask for it!  I’m not finding the good in the poop, etc.  This was awful.  She doesn’t understand.  Use my power for good?  No way! Etc.

Slow down dearest readers.  Deep breath.  We’ve all gone through hardships, heartaches and endured what we deemed awful.  We can let those things define us or we can define ourselves by what we’ve endured and use our wisdom from living through hell for good and be grateful that our suffering helps others who may be walking similar paths.  We can use our power for good.  We can inspire others and help them when they stumble.  For you are here, right now!  You’ve endured unthinkable things and yet you are still here reading my post!  I’m so proud of you for sticking with this life and continuing on!  (Or have you left and stopped reading?)

Does that make sense to you?  Or do you still think I’m full of hooey?

It’s what I try to do everyday when I write my blog.  I choose to continue to inspire those around me.  So come along, connect with me.  Reach out your hand.  We are a Soul Family.  We are here for each other, to support, to love, to praise, to respect and to find kindness at every turn.  Use your power for good in this world and you will remain happy in this life.  Turn on your heartlights so I can see you!  We learn from each other’s mistakes.  We hold hands and move forward, one baby step at a time. ♥

Shine On!

xo

Are You Angry?

Awhile back I read a blog post from another breast cancer survivor who ranted on her blog about cancer, treatment, the exorbitant price of life saving drugs, etc.  Her rhetorical question, ‘why did we get cancer’ was a good reminder to me of how I have felt many times.  That feeling of ‘why me?’ has surged up over the years time and again when my tumor markers spiked, when I had complications with implants and when my life turned upside down for long periods of time.

While I empathized with her situation and I understood, what I felt in recoil was her outright anger and resentment for her current situation.  As I read through the comments on her blog, I realized that many of us can have a tendency towards madness when it’s a life and death situation, especially our own.  The frailty of this life can submerge us into angst and many unbidden emotions can clobber our thinking.  I’ve witnessed it first hand.  I know that feeling.  I understand.

So I went back into my archives of posts, searching for ‘why me’ and found a few below.  As I reread what I had written, dating back to 2013, I was reminded that I have questioned, ‘why me?’ time and again under different circumstances, not just cancer-related.  I think it’s a universal feeling that plays in our minds when things go wrong.  For do you ever hear anyone who gets the most excellent news ask, ‘why me?’ over and over?  Indeed I have heard people wonder why they survived, why they got a promotion, why they were gifted in one way or another ~ but they seem to accept the gift and move on with their lives.  It’s in a bad situation that we continue to dig at the wound of ‘why me?’ until it bleeds in anguish.

Unless we clean out the wound and try a new way of thinking,

we are ever stuck with a painful reminder

which oozes hurt for as long as we don’t tend to the situation at hand. ~ Misifusa

I don’t claim to understand how you may feel under your circumstances.  I do know that I have felt grief, loss and miserable during some of my life experiences and I have endured many different complications in my life.  For what it’s worth, it has always helped me to connect with someone else who would simply be with my pain, walk with me and connect with me while I began to heal.  An encourager to find peace, health, sanity again is what I am most grateful for and what I offer to you.

I found a few posts from my past which I listed below.  Perhaps you can find a tidbit to help you along your way.  I wish you all the best and keep you in my healing hugs.

What’s In Your Toolbox?  Why Me?

Here’s One Answer to Why Me?

Why Me God?

Build a Windmill

Shine On!

xo

What’s In Your Toolbox? Why Me?

Normally, I think of a toolbox as a place to find something to help me fix whatever needs fixing.  It’s a tool, a hammer, a screwdriver or something of that nature that will fix whatever is broken.  Not that I’m really good at that type of labor or fixing, but that’s what I think of when someone mentions toolbox…until now.

Because I’ve been trying to understand why I’ve been experiencing such turbulence in my life these days.  Simply put, things just haven’t been easy.  But I’ve been using my experiences to gain strength for sure even though I’m sometimes feeling pretty weak.  Since I can only understand me, I figure that each experience, each time I have to go out of my comfort zone and each time I have to ‘fix’ something in my life or help someone else with theirs, I am adding tools to my life toolbox.  Later, I can simply reach into my life toolbox and pull out a memory of an experience in order to help them or me fix whatever is in front of us at the moment.  Does this make sense to you?

Using each experience as a tool in my toolbox of life in order to help myself and others.

 So today when you’re tempted to wonder, “why me?” take heart knowing that you are filling your toolbox with another experience that will help you and others down the road.

That’s ‘Why You!‘

Shine On!

xo

 *Photo by Todd Quackenbush

Here’s One Answer to “Why Me?”

“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials. “
Chinese Proverb

Let’s be clear, I’m not looking for perfection.  Not for myself nor for anyone else in the vicinity.  You can choose to look for whatever you wish.  I will tell you though, that I think you are perfect, just the way you are ~ the way you really are ~ that soulful you.  The one deep inside beneath all the rubble of your outside persona.  You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?  The inner being who inhabits the human body called YOU.

That being is perfect.  That person is love.  That soul is perfect.

And when it comes to asking that all-important question, “why me?” I think the above Chinese proverb is a good start.  Nobody likes troubles, illness, death, financial problems, feeling unloved, tragedy, violence etc in our lives.  We’d prefer a quiet, loving atmosphere in which to grow and to enjoy the time we have here on Earth.  But ‘life happens’ and we are many times thrust into situations of which we have little or no control over and we must dog paddle our way to the safe shore.  It’s not fun.  It’s not easy.  Trials and tribulations aren’t usually fun.  Little pings of anxiety after them aren’t either.  They are simply nudges I think to get our lives back on track if we’ve fallen away from our purpose.

But after the incident/illness, when we look back, we can see how the trials shaped us, refined us and polished our lives.  If you have endured life changing moments, you may understand what I am trying to say even though today I feel as if I am floundering in how I am writing to you.  I am not saying, for the record, that I am happy that I had breast cancer.  Oh no.   I would have been happy with a peace-filled, illness-free life.  But am I grateful for the trial so that I learned how truly strong I am, how I can reach out to help inspire others and how being loved and loving others means the most in life?  Well, then, yes. yes, and yes.

Breast cancer changed my life permanently in all different ways.  My physical body, my physical abilities, my mental state, my brain’s capacity and even my spiritual awareness all are irrevocably changed.  I have a chronic illness that I cannot overcome.  I have memory problems.  I have limited abilities in areas where BC (before cancer) I was limitless.  There is time that I can never get back.  There are many losses and few gains.  There is a learning curve which I never expected.  There are answers that I never even knew I could seek and find.  There are questions that will remain unanswerable and I must find peace within in order to move on.

Sometimes it boils down to the simple…I am here and gratefully present.

Shine On!

xo