Tag Archive | ‘why me’ answer

Drop Your Cosmic Vending Machine Belief

dropyourcosmicvendingmachinebelief

This is a hard post for me to write today, but I think it it’s an interesting concept.  I can’t seem to find the origin of the idea that there’s a cosmic vending machine in the Universe that when we do good deeds, act politely, do what others want us to, etc., we believe that our desires/wants will be granted once we’ve paid in full.  Or for that matter that there’s any definitive price of goodness or suffering that heralds the gift of winning the lottery, getting into the college of our choice, being healed, finding a soulmate, getting that promotion or even having another person respond to us the way we believe we deserve.

It’s a false belief that was ingrained in my head from childhood and I’ve perpetuated the belief for years until it became a part of me.  I can’t explain what’s shifted this thought for me, but I can share that what I feel now is empowering in the fact that I do not stand by the cosmic vending machine expecting anymore.

Yes, I still do good deeds.  Yes, I continue to strive to be the best person I can to everyone with whom I come into contact ~ be it family, friends or strangers.  Yes, I still look for good things to happen to me and I am grateful for each and every gift from God and the Universe.  That hasn’t changed.

But what has shifted is the mindset that because I do all of these things, strive to be authentic, loving, compassionate, caring and empathetic in connecting with my fellow man in life, I deserve the good things that happen in my life.  In addition, with this shift comes the letting go of the guilt baggage that I believed that I wasn’t enough when tough times entered my life.

How’s that for a huge shift in thinking?

It goes against the norm, I know.  Perhaps you will not agree with me either and that’s ok.  I’d love to hear from you either way as I am open to all ways of thinking about this topic.  Honestly, I love to expand my thinking so please, be kind, but be honest.  Do you look to the Universal vending machine when you think you deserve that special something?  Do you lament when you’ve been a very good person and yet tragedy and disappointment seem to conspire against you?

How do you feel about this topic?

I think from a young age, we are taught to be good, respectful and to follow the rules and to not hurt others.  We are rewarded by parental figures when we act in the social norms of society.  We may even be treated when we are exceptionally behaved or get good grades and such.  I think that perpetuates the vending machine belief.  I’m not saying that we do things for a reward.  No.  Most of us do them because it feels right and good to help others, to be respectful, to be kind and loving and it raises our heartlights when we connect with others in a good way.  Most of the time, we don’t expect the cosmic vending machine to treat us when we are simply doing what is expected.

But there are times in which, we’ve been trying to be good, do good and we feel as if nothing good comes from the experience.  Instead, we get tough times, tragedy, heartache, grief and loss and we throw up our hands in frustration.

“Why me?” seems to be the popular question when this happens.  Over and over some people will perseverate over the fact that they’ve been good and yet bad things are happening.  Woe is me thinking begins to take over or the extreme of “well, then I’m not trying anymore” and a give up attitude, “What’s the use?” begins to grow.  Resentment increases and do-gooding goes out the window.

But if we could release the belief of the cosmic vending machine waiting for our good tally to be paid up in order to be given whatever it is that we are thinking we deserve because of ‘x, y and z’ then life would be different.  We would feel more empowered and free to accept whatever life experiences come our way without shame, guilt or ego.  But we’ve all heard the ‘get what you deserve’ line and I feel like it’s debunking itself when we rid ourselves of that belief.

We would be empowered and that’s a very good feeling.

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  I am not talking about God or religion with the above post.  For me, that’s an entirely different post which we can chat about another day so please don’t beat me up. ♥

 

 

What are you doing with your sadness?

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How many times have these words crossed your your mind or been uttered by your lips?  How many times have you felt that life’s circumstances have treated you unfairly?  And what did you do about it?  Or better yet, what are you doing about it?  Are you wallowing in a heap of self-pity pooled with tears and ‘why me’s?’  Or have you dissolved into anger and resentment?  Perhaps you have evolved into a place where you can see that circumstances occur, it is what it is and you’ve moved on?

What are you doing with your sadness?

Death, illness, poverty, depression, lack of love, crimes, and violence can all bring sadness into our lives.  At times, these circumstances can feel as though they are breaking our souls and tempt our resolves to live our lives to their fullest potential.  They change us in ways in which we cannot imagine.  They are paths which we take which are many times not how we’d imagined our lives to be.  But the one thing for certain is this:  we have choices throughout these paths and we are not alone.  It is in these periods of time that we have choices which can change our lives.  By reaching out of our comfort zones we can connect with others to help heal ourselves.  We can take on the fighting spirit which lies within us, that strength that you possibly never knew you had inside at your disposal when needed, and reach out of our troubles in order to heal ourselves.  It is never an easy task, but nor is is insurmountable.  It takes time, it takes patience.  It takes a willingness to expose the grief and to forgive, to find a new normal for ourselves and to pick ourselves up and to find the Presents in Presence.

I’ve wasted time myself.  Wasted precious moments in anger, resentment, sadness and stony unforgiveness.  I’ve wallowed in self-pity, berated myself for the cancer which broke my body, my spirit, my self-esteem and even my will to live.  I’ve grieved over the passing of loved ones, harboring in my shell of grief, shouldering the sadness of the world around me.  I have forgotten that little light of a soul inside of me who only wishes to be raised up to sparkle.  I have lost sight of my spirit inside of me and I forgotten that this is a journey of spirit and not of humanness as much.  I disconnected from my purpose and I turned my back on the experiences which have brought me to this moment of light.  I allowed the darkness to invade for a bit.  Luckily, my connections wouldn’t allow me to give up on my purpose nor my energy to inspire and I was given help to ignite that passionate loving, healing spirit to shine in my life.  Just as my light began to fade indeed, I was brought back to the beauty in life and I am forever grateful.

And this is why I tell you, I am your biggest fan.  We all need a hand to hold onto and another spirit to walk with us.  We require that connection in order to leapfrog with each other and to help pull ourselves out of the darkness when it happens.  And it does happen.  Life is not without strife sometimes, but it’s what you do with that sadness that counts.  Sure, the DASH is important, but it’s the Presents in Presence that marks the days, the years, the life that you live for as long as you are blessed to be here.

What do you create out of your sadness?  Where to do allow it to take you or do you lead?

For you see, none of us get out of this life alive and we’ve all been asked what are we doing with our lives.  We’ve heard about the dash ~ you know what that is, right?  The DASH between your birth year and your death year and what counts is what you do with that time.  But it’s the moments, the now, that I’m interested in because as we build on these nows, we build the important dash.  We choose to see the light, be a part of the light and we choose to shine and sparkle our own brand of light into the world.

You are never left without a choice.  Use it wisely.  If you chose darkness, you can still choose light now.  That’s how easy it is.  You can find your way out of that sadness.  You can choose to for a moment, now, to smile, even if you don’t feel much like doing it.  Let’s try it now.  Please?  For me?

Shine On!

xo