As I climbed into bed last night, laid my weary head and heart on the soft down pillow, I sighed deeply. Such a day full of emotion and perseverance that frankly, I was exhausted. I closed my eyes and began to pray for peace as I often do. In that quiet moment of reverie, I surrendered. I had done all that I could, pushed through the limits and swallowed and alternatively let go of many tears. But as I prayed, it was in gratitude for all of the angels who attended this day.
When a loved one passes, it is never easy for those left behind. After the initial shock, because even when we know they are sick, it is still a shock to know that they have passed, there was work to be done, papers to be signed, a funeral home to be called, family and friends to be notified and a personal life of responsibility to continue living, all at the same time. It’s a day of moving through the grief in order to process the necessities that need to be done, all the while, alternatively stifling and letting out the grief of losing a loved one. Tears poured from my eyes at times and quiet sobs escaped (probably not so quietly) as the reality hit me in waves.
Last night the epiphany which I knew already, hit me. Why do we grieve when our loved one passes? Some of us believe that their departed souls return home to God and I have to ask myself, why aren’t I rejoicing that she is no longer in earthy life school, no longer suffering with a body which had grown old and desperately needed repair? My answer was selfish – I wanted to be with her when she passed and hold her hand as she departed peacefully from this earth, onward and upward back home. I wanted her to hear my voice telling her how much we loved her and although I tried to move mountains in plane travel plans, I was unable to get to her in time. What brings my sad heart peace is that I know in my heart that she knew I loved her and she was not alone when she passed. She had her pastor there, who by the grace of God, arrived only moments beforehand. She had been visited by a dear friend of ours who had kissed her on the forehead and told her how much we all loved her. At 88, she had lived a long life, on her own terms with lots of love in her heart and a dash of stubbornness which served her well. She had brought much joy to the world by being a teacher who made a difference and who had received the joy and was gifted back by her students (especially Lisa).
This morning I awoke thinking of Aunt Mable and as tears poured down my face in the early dawn, house quiet, alone with my thoughts, I realized again, how short this life can be even when it lasts 88 years and how important making connections with others truly is. Although I often write about connecting with others, I’m reminded yet again, how our legacy is in our connections and not in our earthly possessions. I think it bears repeating. Hearts connecting means more than material possessions as we flow to our next chapter. The legacy of making a difference, accepting, helping, inspiring, encouraging and loving are pricelessly worth millions in spiritual wealth.
So this morning, I bow my head in honor of a life well-lived, an Aunt whom I loved and who loved me. I know she is home again in Heaven, with her family and loved ones and she is remembered here by the loved ones and family she left behind. Surely, her soul is leaping with joy to be pain-free, her brain free of the confines of dementia, and free of the bonds of life school. Rest in peace, Aunt Mable.
Thank you dearest friends for allowing me to share this morning. I needed to write. May you have a lovely Saturday, making connections with all whom you meet and even if a simple smile passes between you and a stranger, let the love of humankind flow freely.