Home For The Holidays

There’s no place like home for the holidays…does that phrase ring a bell?  Remind you of a holiday song from your past?  See below if that catchy tune is now playing in your mind.

The holidays are a happy time, but they can also be fraught with grief for some.  Personally, I have always adored Christmas, but lately, not so much.  For you see, many relationships in my life have changed in the last few years:  some have passed away, some have moved and some have slowly disappeared.  As I ready my home for the coming holidays, I’m reminded of how much has changed in my life and quite frankly, I am grieving.  There, I said it.  I’m telling you because I need a hug.  I know I’ll have the strength to get through this holiday season with a smile on my face and compassion in my heart.  I know I can do it because I’ve done it before and I will do it again.  But for this brief moment, my heart feels heavy and tears are silently making their way down my cheeks.

Do you ever feel this way during the holiday season?  Is there ever a time when you feel like you need a loving embrace to sustain you?  Do you grieve for what used to be?  For who used to be at your table?  For those who have passed or changed?

You are not alone my dear friends.  At one time or another on life’s journey, we will all be missing someone who is no longer in our lives for whatever reason and we grieve that loss…we find strength, we find courage and eventually we find a new normal and accept that the holidays are different.

My Christmas table will be missing some family this year.  Changes aren’t easy but with courage we can rise to any occasion and get through it.  Baby steps…one baby step at a time.  So prayers for you, prayers for me and may loving, holiday peace surround us all.  It matters that love surrounds your table.  Light your heartlight and open your home to love.

Shine On!

xo

(There’s No Place Like) Home For The Holidays ~ Perry Como

Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays,
‘Cause no matter how far away you roam,
When you pine for the sunshine of a friendly gaze,
For the holidays, you can’t beat home, sweet home.

I met a man who lives in Tennessee.
He was headin’ for, Pennsylvania, and some home-made pumpkin pie.
From Pennsylvania, folks are travelin’ down to Dixie’s sunny shore,
From Atlantic to Pacific, gee, the traffic is terrific.

Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays,
‘Cause no matter how far away you roam,
If you want to be happy in a million ways,
For the holidays, you can’t beat home, sweet home.

Take a bus, take a train, go and hop an airplane,
Put the wife and kiddies in the family car,
For the pleasure that you bring when you make that doorbell ring,
No trip could be too far!

Cancer Connections

You gain strength, courage, and confidence

by every experience in which you really stop

to look fear in the face.

You are able to say to yourself,

“I lived through this horror.

I can take the next thing that comes along.”

– Eleanor Roosevelt

Sitting in the oncologist office waiting room, I had some time to look around at all the other people there waiting patiently for their names to be called.  I’ve done this before and I seem to do it every time I’m there.  I smile at the others in the room, because I figure if you are here, then we’ve got a connection.  Because let’s face it, there are plenty of other places to sit in this big ole world and I bet you wouldn’t choose the oncology waiting room to hang out in if you didn’t need to be there.  Or if your loved one didn’t need to be there.

Cancer evens us out.  Strange to say, right?  But I find that those of us who have endured cancer find it easier to simply connect with someone else who has been in the same boat.  It’s that common ground that we search for when we connect with someone else.  By simply being in the same doctor’s office, we can pretty much bet we’ve got or had the Big C and we’re hoping to get better and stay healthy.

Cancer isn’t choosy.  It doesn’t discriminate between races or genders.  Old or young, it matters not.  It comes in changing the lives of its patients and those who surround them.  Cancer bonds people.  Cancer breaks people down.  Cancer divides. Cancer unifies.  Cancer conquers some people and yet, there are others who conquer cancer.  It’s an equal-opportunity disease for which there’s no cure, yet.

Cancer connects people in ways that they might not necessarily connect.  The fear of death and the horror of cancer treatments, etc.  give you a bird’s eye view of what you are truly made of and there’s no place for sissy’s with cancer.  No matter with whom you talk, we’ve all had sleepless nights filled with worry and repeatedly question at every tumor marker test, if cancer has returned.  Many of us have endured surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation, blood tests, needles, being poked and prodded by countless professionals and staff.  We’ve lost our hair, body parts and our dignity.  But I’ve learned that we don’t lose our loving hearts, nor our need for comfort or our precious souls to cancer.   It’s given me a new outlook on life.  Sure cancer has weakened parts of my life, but it also strengthened me.  It’s given me lessons on human nature that I would have never understood had I not endured the cancer.  It’s made me appreciate the little things and be unafraid of dying.  It’s changed my life in good and bad ways, but I try to concentrate on the good in my life at every turn.

What has cancer done in your life?

Shine On!

xo

Looking for a New Normal…Continued…

Welcome to A New Normal and Loving Yourself!

When disaster strikes, be it a hurricane, tornado, tsunami, job loss, illness, addiction, depression, accident, disfigurement, death, divorce…the aftermath is always about finding a new normal.  That’s it in a nutshell as they say.  You need to find a new normal and keep living ~ taking baby steps forward in life.  And I don’t say it’s easy to do because I wouldn’t lie to you, but I will tell you that it is do-able because there are people who have done it before you…and there will be those who will come after you who will triumph as well.

Right now, it’s you who I’m thinking of…you, who in this changing world, has to change as well whether you want to or not, whether you like it or not, because it’s required in order to continue to live.

They say water finds it own level…so like water, you will find your own level, your new normal…but it takes practice, it takes courage, it takes trust and endurance.  Sometimes it takes asking for and being open to receiving help ~ having a hand to hold as you endure this journey of life.  We are all connected here…if you look long enough and not give up, you’ll find a trust-worthy person to help you.  But you must be willing to help yourself…you must take that first step…and watch out my dears…it’s a LULU!  It’s going to change your life for the better! 🙂

Because once you’ve taken that first decided step towards helping yourself, whatever the situation is, you open yourself up for change to occur.  Most people shy away from change, if not run like hell from it.  It’s most likely human nature as the unknown strikes fear in many of us.  However, that’s when the most growth occurs and when that golden ring that you’ve been reaching for, finally comes into grasp!  It’s taking that chance into the unknown that leads to the next step for the better!

The key to all of it ~ the absolute key to making the new normal easier to live,

to accept and to transition to ~ is one simple ingredient.

Love yourself.

Whew…right?  You thought it was going to be hard.  But love yourself…heck that’s easy, isn’t it?  Perhaps you’re thinking that I”m off my rocker…well, you might be right 🙂  but certainly, if you take a moment, quietly, calmly when you have a few minutes to yourself with no distractions…slowly, repeat aloud in a mirror to yourself, “I love you” 3 times and notice how it makes you feel.

How do you feel?  In the depths of your soul, how did stating, “I LOVE YOU” to yourself make you feel?

Truly, I hope that it made you feel elated, that you hugged yourself and smiled.  I hope that repeating that powerful statement gave you a warm fuzzy feeling right down to your core!  I hope that you feel comfortable saying it and that you can repeat it 3 times a day everyday!  Because as Robert Schuller of the Crystal Cathedral used to say, “God loves you and so do I.”

On the flip side, if saying “I love you,” aloud to yourself made you feel anything else, then we have some work to do so that you can embrace the new normal!  You think that you love yourself, but when you have to actually say it in a mirror and watch your face as you repeat this powerful statement, sometimes uncomfortable feelings come up.  For me, I know that I shy away from saying it to myself because I feel unworthy, I don’t feel like I’m enough and I feel uncomfortable, like I’m being selfish or egotistical.  It’s distracting to hear myself say those words and yet, I say and mean them all the time to my family and friends.  But loving myself ~ well, that’s been a tough one for me.  What’s helped me is an author whom I’ve talked about before named Louise Hay.  Below is Louise Hay’s Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workbook.  A simple, no nonsense way of doing just that ~ healing your life ~ Louise gives step by step exercises which are easy to understand, for anyone needing a new normal ~ for those who want a new chapter in their lives ~ and for you who wants a brighter day!

Just Love Yourself…and if you don’t know how…then pick up Louise’s book for yourself!
Make it your own holiday gift ~ it’s a keeper ~ a life changer ~ and you deserve it!

Click on the picture to read all about it!

What about you?  How do you feel about yourself?  Do you love you?

Let’s start there!

Shine On!

xo