I awoke this morning at 5am. Knowing me, that’s not too unusual since I tend to wake up early by my own inner alarm clock. But the thought in my head was what I found intriguing. You see, I woke up with a prompting to contact my deceased Dad’s pulmonologist. Quite frankly, it’s been a long time since I’d even thought of him ~ probably since my Dad passed away 2 years ago, June 21st ~ the first day of summer ~ Dad’s favorite day after Christmas.
But I woke up thinking that I needed to hug this doctor who was friendly with our family and instantly became an even closer friend after 3 harrowing weeks of my Dad being in ICU. I know it sounds odd because it sounds odd to me. But I want to write him a letter, telling him that I want to stop in to his office to hug him. Just to let him know how much we still think of him. He tried every heroic measure possible to save my Dad and we appreciated how much he cared, how hard he tried and how he took 3 women under his wing while he tried to save the husband and Dad that they loved.
As I sit here with tears falling down my cheeks, trying to type as fast as my mind is whirring, I am bereft in understanding why I should be crying today after all this time. It’s not an anniversary of his death nor any special day at all. But as I sit here in my family room, the house all quiet, everyone sleeping peacefully and even the cat curled up by my side, I feel such an intense gratitude for this man. Perhaps it’s the overwhelming realization of the amazing tenderness he showed to us, all the while trying to heal his patient who truly would never heal. It was the simple human kindness which was given in such a caring way that I remember. When I think back to those scary times, in my mind’s eye, I see Dr. R acting like a shepard and we, acting like sheep, holding onto his every word, praying for a miracle and hoping for a gift.
Maybe my prompting is for Dr. R and not for me. Perhaps it is I who can give him some comfort now, let him know that we know he did his best and how much we appreciated him. Surely it is not easy for a physician to lose a patient, especially a caring doctor like Dr. R. I’ve had many doctors in my life and there are a few with whom I have such a relationship. How can you not have a caring relationship when your doctor heals you? There’s a special bond between doctors and patients, especially oncologists. At least, that’s my experience, but that’s a story for another day.
Who know, maybe my Dad is reaching out from the Heavens this morning to me. All I can tell you is that hot tears keep streaming down my face this morning and try as I might, they keep coming as I type. So I let them flow with abandon. There’s nobody to hear my occasional sniffle. Only the cat to meow when I jostle her by getting another tissue. By the time my family awakens, I will be ship-shape, but with this special moment tucked away in my heart.
Thanks for sharing this moment with me. I don’t want to lose the feeling so I am publishing this post. It’s that peaceful serenity that envelops my heart now. The reminder that we may pass away, but our loving spirit remains.
You may not see these hearts in the sky when you look up because many times, to the naked eye, we cannot see the invisible shroud of love which is available to us each and every day. I enhanced the photo above so that you could see them and hopefully feel that gift of love which surrounds you. Breathe in the beauty and light which is yours by Divine right. Embrace the blessings which envelop the skies, glistening like stars.
You matter. You are blessed. You are loved. You are love.
“Energy is the essence of life. Every day you decide how you’re going to use it by knowing what you want and what it takes to reach that goal, and by maintaining focus.” – Oprah
I love this quote by Oprah ~ by midweek sometimes our energy can begin to lag, so I thought this was a great Wednesday picker-upper! The key to success is in knowing what you want as the rest of it can fall into place once you know that key piece.
Do you know what you want?
Today let’s choose a goal to focus our energy on ~ one that we can concretely know when we’ve achieved it. You’ve heard of manifesting, haven’t you? Let’s pick something fun to focus our energy on, a goal that makes you smile when you’ve achieved it. It doesn’t have to be big, it just has to be something that you can achieve and see the results!
Come do this with me ~ write below a small goal for yourself. It always helps to write it and let others know so that we can cheer you on! If you’re in the mood to share, please do it below in the comments!
I’ll start ~ my goal is to finish cleaning the basement in my house. We started 3 weeks ago and I want it done. So my goal is to have it done in 2 more weeks. There is almost 20 years of accumulation down there that has to be weeded through and thrown out. For me, I like to save things so it is hard for me to part with objects that have sweet memories for me. But it’s time now to let go and allow the energy of good working objects to find a new home.
What about you?
I’m a wake up happy type of gal. I like mornings ~ the newness of the day, accompanied by a fresh cup of coffee. I like tranquility, when the house is peaceful, all are safe and dreaming in their beds and just Tiffy Cat and I are stirring. It used to be the girls and I were awake at this time (Chessie & Tiffy) but since Chessie Cat passed a month ago yesterday, pawprints-in-my-heart it’s just been the 2 of us. We relax in the morning, look out the windows at the backyard to admire the squirrels and bunnies and just take a moment to breathe before the hubbub of the day begins.
Because in a flash, the boys will be downstairs and the rush of school, work etc will begin.
But in those precious moments, I fill myself up, storing peace and tranquility for the day ahead. I begin the day with gratitude that I am blessed because I am here to see another day. I send up a prayer that my day will be good, that I can do good wherever I’m needed. I take a few moments of fur therapy, petting Tiffy as we both enjoy the morning. It’s our time and I think she understands.
Do you take a few moments for yourself during your busy day? I highly recommend it as it centers my soul in the most unusual way.
I’m not a nature type of gal ~ you wouldn’t find me voluntarily camping ever, but I love watching nature from my window. I love walking with my elder son to the corner for the school bus pickup every morning. I enjoy the quiet of the morning outside before the world stirs. We walk together arm in arm many days to keep warm ~ but sometimes, just in that mom/son comforting way. We chat about the day ahead, planning sports schedules, tests for the week and what’s for dinner that night. Other times, we just enjoy the quiet of the morning.
Our neighborhood boasts deer, wildlife and trees. So in the mornings, there’s a peacefulness in the air, it’s like that last intake of breath just before busy begins. Since Spring has sprung, we’ve been noticing the buds on the trees, flowers sprouting and the colors of the sky. The picture above is from his phone last week. I’m a big sky watcher, but it was he who noticed the cloud formation and pointed it out to me. He snapped the shot from his phone and texted it to me (isn’t technology grand?) while I marveled by his side how blessed I am to have such an amazing son.
We started this routine when he began high school since he leaves so early in the mornings. I think he likes the company while he waits for the bus and me, I’m just grateful that we get a few moments together that are ours. As I walk back to the house, smiling to myself, I turn my attention to my younger son as he gets ready for school. Time flies by so quickly. These are the precious moments that I won’t forget ~ because it’s the little things that mean so much.
May your day be blessed.