Tag Archive | NaBloPoMo

Papa Can You Hear Me?

31841_I awoke the yesterday morning and it’s been a race for me to write what happened because I must tell you that I dreamt of my Dad last night.  In fact, my dream was so very real that I am still reeling this morning.  I dreamt that the phone rang and when I answered it, it was my Dad.  And at first I thought my sister had found a recording of a message that my Dad had left, but it wasn’t.  It was my Dad talking to me, calling me.  And I was so overwhelmed that at first, once I realized it, I was quiet.  But then, we began to talk.  It was his voice, strong and clear, not the voice that is left on my answering machine which is raspy and weakened as it was when he was in the hospital.  It was the voice of my Dad that I remember.

And you know why he called me?  He wanted me to know that my tests came back normal and he was so happy that they had.  And as I sit here weeping while my fingers try to keep up with the words that I want to share with you, I want to you know that I truly, in my heart, feel like he called me in my dream.  I can’t explain it nor will I try.  It matters not to me if you believe that I believe that he really called me.  But he did.  I am softened by his words, I am feeling peaceful.  I am grateful.

Has this ever happened to you with a loved ones who has passed away?

Thanks for letting me share.

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  Fact is, my tests did come back normal! 🙂

P.P.S.  I wrote this post the other day, but had to let it marinate for a few days.

Daily Prompt ~ Standing Out in Confusion

76020927_I admit, I am different.  There.  I said it.  Many times I feel like I’m out of place ~ and sometimes when I speak, my hubby has to translate what I’m saying.  It’s not that I’m speaking Spanish or any other language at the time.  It’s just that sometimes, I think differently than others and it doesn’t quite translate when I try to explain myself.

For example, like today, I enjoy getting one of those emails that has a goofy gobbling singing turkey ~ and I like to send it along!  Mind you, I try to only send it to those whom I think will giggle at the gobbler, but sometimes my giggling gobbler is met with annoyance.  For as much as I’m busy throughout my day and enjoy getting a giggle break, there are others whom do not find it amusing.  And I feel sorry for them.  By the way, I don’t do it often either so it’s not like there’s a barrage of stupid emails that I send out!

Then there’s when I want to say something that I think is really important and the words simply and suddenly elude me.  So I’ll start strong, speaking fluently and then just stop.  Dead stop.  And I can’t think of what I am trying to say.  It’s so frustrating to me and it’s frustrating for whomever I’m speaking with!  I know, I get it.  But it’s more worrisome to me than it is to my listener as it reminds me that after 15 surgeries, there are some definite brain cells missing that haven’t found their way home and probably won’t at this point.  Which could make me sad, but instead, I try to look on the bright side ~ I will survive ~ I can speak, I can understand and I can tell those closest to me that I love them!

I’m aware of my goofyness ~ I’m aware that I think differently than most people.  I’m most definitely aware that my body is scarred and not the form that most women are ~ and that bothers me too.  It’s hard to be a 40 something year old woman who has the skin, the hair, the body of a much older woman due to breast cancer and all that it involves.   It’s difficult to not feel most parts of my body due to being numbed by multiple surgeries.  It’s not a blessing to feel this insecure about how I look even though I try to pretend that I’m ok with the reality.

For the record, I’m not ok with it.  But I can’t go back so I just keep inching forward.  It’s all I can do really.

I’m not saying this for pity’s sake. I’m just telling you the reality of the disease.  Chemo packs a punch to the system, changes our skin, our hair and our bodies and minds forever.  Radiation does this as well.  Not to mention the foremost physical part which is damaging mentally and emotionally as well which is the removal of our breasts and the huge scars that are left in their place.  The loss of feeling, the loss of intimacy.  There’s a lot to it.

But nobody talks about those things which always surprises me.  When Angelina Jolie had her breasts removed prophelatically, people applauded.  But the reality is that her breasts were removed, the feeling in parts of her breasts was removed as well and that was never mentioned once.  I don’t mean to start a firestorm here because I too had both removed and only one had cancer at the time so I understand her motives.  I’m just saying that it’s not so easy.

Whew…how in the world did I get on this vein of thinking today, I’ll never know.  Perhaps there’s a reader out there who needed a little bit of understanding and camaraderie.  So if there is, then this one’s for you and my post in not all in vain.

Be Yourself.  Love Yourself.

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  Want the Gobbler Giggle?  Click here!

Let me know if you sang along, I Will Survive!

Daily Prompt: Land of Confusion

Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us CONFUSION.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/11/18/daily-prompt-confusion/

Daily Prompt ~ Raising Autism

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Raising Autism: Surviving the Early Years

By Kimberlee Rutan McCafferty

Today’s Daily Prompt asks what you love most about yourself, your favorite person and if the two connected.  I wrote today’s post about my friend Kim, the author of the above book.  I was ready to hit publish when the DP came up and I realized that this post most definitely qualifies ~ because what I love about myself and Kim is that in the face of adversity, we have triumphed.  Both of us have had hard times in our lives ~ we had circumstances that weren’t of our own doing affect us profoundly and yet, we still are here!  We have endured the journey of life and continue to strive to make our lives and the lives of others happier, better and we write to inspire others to realize that they too can live with those circumstances whether they be illness of ourselves or others whom we love.  So please indulge me with Kim’s book ~ if you or anyone else know a family enduring an autism diagnosis, you’ve just met your best friend Kim who will take you on her journey, teach you, inspire you and sympathize with you as you learn the intricacies of being the Mom of 2 autistic sons.

Kim has also written, starred in, directed and promoted her own play which was a smash hit ~ with profits going to others, just like her book!  Her writings are just like Kim ~ honest, loving, well-thought out, caring and just as if we were sitting on the couch at her house and you asked her to tell you about the early years with her sons’ and their autism.  She’s your best friend and her ability to reach out and explain what it’s like for her family and her boys and how she’s dealt with the feelings that have accompanied their journey is nothing short of incredible.  It’s in her honesty that you immediately sit down and want to finish her book.  She doesn’t shy away from sadness nor happiness.  She shoots straight from the heart and bulls eye ~ you understand.

Directly from Kim, “Over time I have learned to embrace the altered landscape of our dreams, to measure the depth of my love for my sons, and most importantly, to reconcile with their diagnosis and move on with my life. I’ve named this book Raising Autism for several reasons. In part the title harkens to the often Herculean task of simply getting through the day while encountering the myriad of challenges autism presented to our family. I also called it Raising Autism as celebration for those parents able to conjure a different concept of family, of what it means to love, respect, and take pride in their child while simultaneously rewriting a new version of the rest of their lives as well.”

Below is a link to her blog with links for her book!

Shine On!

xo

Click here to go to Autism Mommy Therapist Blog!

Excerpt from Raising Autism:

“Raising Autism” is the story of how my eldest son and I survived his early years without dissolving entirely the fragile and tenuous bond we had crafted with one another since birth. It is the story of how his father and I made every difficult decision, from choosing his schools, his therapies, and even to where we would ultimately come to reside, while constantly agonizing over whether we had made the right, and often irrevocable, choices. It explains how his diagnosis called into question everything I thought I knew about myself and motherhood, and challenged me to consider exactly what I was willing to surrender for my child- career, geography, friends, and perhaps my known self. This hard-won knowledge would sustain me through not just my firstborn’s diagnosis, but ultimately through my second child’s as well.

Over time I have learned to embrace the altered landscape of our dreams, to measure the depth of my love for my sons, and most importantly, to reconcile with their diagnosis and move on with my life. I’ve named this book Raising Autism for several reasons. In part the title harkens to the often Herculean task of simply getting through the day while encountering the myriad of challenges autism presented to our family. I also called it Raising Autism as celebration for those parents able to conjure a different concept of family, of what it means to love, respect, and take pride in their child while simultaneously rewriting a new version of the rest of their lives as well.

This is our story.”

Available on Amazon, the CreateSpace eStore

Daily Prompt: Love to Love You

What do you love most about yourself? What do you love most about your favorite person? Are the two connected?

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/11/17/daily-prompt-love-2/

Hit a Home Run!

11585211_You can’t hit a home run unless you step up to the plate.

How many times have you said to yourself that you want to hit a home run, get a goal, score points, make something, do something, accomplish something ~  succeed at something etc?  And how many times did you really accomplish your goal?  And how many times did you quit before you even gave yourself a chance to succeed?

I’ve found that there are times where I have the goal in mind but somehow I neglect stepping up to the plate because I’m frightened.  Does that happen to you too?  You fail before you even begin and you can give yourself a million senseless reasons and give into the fear of failure without ever stepping up to the plate?

Well, today’s the day to step up to the proverbial plate and swing! 

You can do it!  I know you can!  I’m your biggest fan!

Shine On!

xo

How Do You Travel?

Travel. Why endeavor to straighten the road of life?

The faster we travel, the less there is to see. – Helen Hayes

The next time you step out of your home to go somewhere, take a moment to notice how you walk, how you drive and how you travel.  I find this concept very interesting. Do you meander or do you walk with a purpose-driven gait?  Are you a straight shot, get there quickly, accomplish the goal and then leave type?  Or are you more laid back with the gentleness of stopping to smell the occasional and proverbial rose, to acknowledge the others around you and to enjoy the moment, the trip, and the sense of satisfaction when the job is finished?

Or are you like me ~ where I’m a mixture of the two.  There are times where I am a hurry up, walk fast and get to my destination with as few steps, few detours and as straight as the crow flies (do you know that expression?) type of traveler.  On these types of trips,  I am usually purpose-driven, with a definitive goal in mind and I accomplish whatever it is mindlessly.  I do not stop and smell the roses.  I do what needs to be done and that’s that and I move onto the next goal on my list.

And then there are other times where I know in my heart that all will be accomplished in its right time and by the deadline, but I allow myself to be with the moment, to not be stressed out when the traffic jam holds me up and when things don’t go as planned, I allow the Universe/God/Spirit to take over and just go with the flow.

I find that the more I rely on enjoying the moment, the trip becomes richer,

the job still gets done on time and I am in a better state of mind.

What about you?

Shine On!

xo

We Bloom, We Wilt.

14726_Human lives bloom and wilt just as flowers. 

We must not be sad that the flower eventually wilts,

But that we had the opportunity to watch it bloom. And could enjoy the beauty that it radiated.

There is always sadness at a funeral.  There are tears.  There is that sense of loss.  There is suffering.  There can be guilt, there can be anger, there can be resentment.  But the one thing I know for sure that there is always at a funeral ~ it’s LOVE.  I just came back from the funeral and repast for CAngel.  I am so happy that I was there for him and for his family because his repast was one that I would like for my own.  For you see, it was a celebration of the person whom we watched grow up, the shared memories of a family who made an even bigger family through their work.  And we were all a part of that family.

I came home from the trip to find the above card in my mailbox from my friend SAngel ~ I just had to share it with you as it was such a beautiful reminder.  Even if it is hard, to celebrate the life of a loved one who has passed is to keep their memories alive.  To share the funny stories, the camaraderie that forms sometimes even between strangers, brings the one who has passed alive for a little while.  And that’s what happened…we laughed.  We cried.  We shared, we remembered and we bonded.  We connected, we made a memory for us all to carry his memory on in a positive way.  We attempted to heal those closest to him ~ to make special memories that will remind them of how much he was loved by so many when they feel sad and alone.  At least that’s what we tried ~ and I pray we succeeded.

To be grateful for having enjoyed the beauty that radiated from a life is priceless.

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  Need to send a card like this, click here!

Oh Deer ~ Michelle’s Weekly Pet Challenge

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Deer in the Yard

I love where I live because nature abounds here.  It saddens me that there has been much building up in the area so that nature has become tamer as with this deer who happily posed for me as I took her picture.  As much as I adore watching the bunnies hop about in my yard, the occasional heron who can’t read the ‘no fishing’ sign by my pond, the koi that glide through the pond water, the little chipmunks who scamper by the patio door teasing our Tiffy cat, the squirrels who romp, digging their walnuts in the yard for a spring snack, the birds who stop by the pond to get a sip of clean water or to take a quick shower. the big frogs who swim by the fish, croaking to eachother in their deep voices or the occasional neighborhood pup or cat who mosey in to say hello, I find myself feeling sad for how we’ve overtaken mother earth and nature’s life.

When you look around, do you see Mother Nature’s gifts?  Are there wild animals where you live for you to gaze at out of your windows?  I would love to hear what little or big critters you have in your area so please share!  I know Michelle’s Challenge is for pets, but the deer here are getting quite tame so I counted them today.

Shine On!

xo

Join us for Michelle’s Weekly Pet Challenge

petchallenge

Dream and Live

75989405_Photo Credit: CSBAngel

“Dream as if you’ll live forever, live as if you’ll die today.”
Actor, James Dean

The moon enthralls me.  I don’t know why except it does.  Every morning I take my son to the bus stop and when it was dark outside we could see the moon and the stars perfectly.  It’s a wonderful time of day I think and I highly recommend that you partake of the gift ~ you know the one ~ where the darkness fades and dawn begins.

I was never a sky watcher, but in recent years, I find myself looking up (literally and figuratively) more often and what I find is truly amazing.  Do you ever stop to look up at the sky during your busy day?  It’s a lovely moment to capture if you can remember to do it!  I find the most sparkling of stars (and now I’ve learned they are planets ~ namely Jupiter!) next to a glistening moon.  I see rainbows, jewel-colored sunsets, white fluffy clouds and the most precious blue skies ever!  I experience sunbeams which radiate through clouds and I even find beauty in darkening thunderous clouds which bring on the rain.

Oh and the snow clouds ~ how could I forget those?  Many an hour I have stood by my window and watched snow fall ~ blanketing the Earth with brilliance.  I am always amazed by the gently falling snow, the furious falling snow and even the big fluffy cotton-ball snow flakes!  I guess you could say I’m easily enthralled and enchanted by Mother Nature and you would be right.

For you see, tomorrow is promised to no one ~ so we must enjoy the gifts of today.  Hug those whom you love, tell them how you feel and be content with what you have.  Gratitude is the key.  When you are grateful for what you have, more comes ~ it is when you feel lack, that you gain lack.

Look up today.  Share in the comments what your sky’s gift to you is today.  Experience the mightiness of the Earth and Mother Nature and feel the oneness in which we all connect!

Shine On!

xo

What’s up with 11/11?

33716_“True heroism is remarkably sober, very undramatic. It is not the urge to surpass all others at whatever cost, but the urge to serve others at whatever cost.” —Arthur Ashe

November 11th, at 11am marks the end of World War I.  Here in the U.S., we commemorate this peace by celebrating Armistice Day or what is now referred to as Veteran’s Day.  Having had relatives who fought in many wars, I wanted to take the opportunity to honor all those who have served their country with goodness in their hearts.  Those who sacrificed their personal safety, their mental health and sometimes even their own lives to fight for peace, I lift up my gratitude to you wherever you are.

What a conundrum ~ to fight for peace, don’t you think?  What if today, we were able to be like E.T. The Extraterrestrial (do you remember the movie from 1982?) and turn on our love lights on this special 11/11 day?

Would you be so kind as to take a moment today at 11am or pm or even 11:11am/pm to stop whatever you are doing and to ‘send out love’ to the world? 

To send out peace, kindness and healing to everyone in the world. 

To say a silent prayer of gratitude to those who serve and who have served their countries. 

To honor those who have fallen, spiritually, mentally and even physically as a result of serving their countries.

Looking for more info on Veteran’s Day?  Click here for Steve Layman’s Blog  which I found via my friend Ray over at A Simple, Village Undertaker

11/11 is such a special spiritual set of numbers.  Did you know?  Do you often look at the clock to see 11:11 or 3:33 or 12:34?  I know this post is all over the place today, but there’s so much to cover ~ so please bear with me, have patience and stay on to the end! xo

So far this morning, I hadn’t found any other bloggers who were talking about the date today, but if you come across someone else, please comment below with their blog URL so that we can visit them too…it seems that many of us have had encounters with spiritual numbers like 1111 and just didn’t know what to do with them.  Are you even familiar with the concept?

I found here  a ton of info about 11/11 11:11 etc.  There’s too much to even begin to type in on my blog and having already gone past my self-imposed ‘5 minutes to read’ blog rule, I will leave it for you to peruse as your leisure, or not…whatever works for you!

In the meantime, my plea to take a moment at 11am/pm or 11:11am/pm or even at some point today and turn on your ‘heart light’ and send out peace, love and healing to yourself and to the world still stands.  I will be remembering you, my loved ones, the veterans and all who live on this planet Earth!

Shine On!

xo

Where in Nature Do You Find Your Peace?

thebeach

 I am soothed here.

I’m a Jersey Girl, although not the Snooki kind, but the real-life gal who grew up going to the beach everyday she could, who finds the sound of the ocean soothing and who goes in search of the sand between her toes, the sun in the sky glistening on the water and the waves crashing gently to shore in order to soothe her soul.  That’s me.  A drive to the beach will suffice when the weather’s too cold to dip my toes into the ocean, but I must smell the briny scent of the ocean’s perfume in order to completely find my peace within.

Do you have a special peaceful place in nature that you call your own? 

Are you a beach person like me?  Or do the mountains beckon to your soul?

Do the lakes have your heart?  Or does the chilly snow hold you? 

Does crunching in fallen, gem-colored leaves soften your sadness? 

Or does the howling wind blow away your troubles? 

Do raindrops wash away your tears?  Does the acrid desert drain your worries? 

Does the sunshine call your name?

Or do moonbeams beckon your feet to dance?

Do twinkling stars ignite your passion?

Or do clouds feather your dreams?

Please share with me ~ I’d love to hear where you find you peace!

Shine On!

xo

Where is your