Accept Them For Who They Are

Few relationships are perfect as you may know from personal experience.  Many times we wrestle with people in our lives and the relationships we share with them.  It’s a dance, sometimes even a chacha – a few steps forward, a few steps backwards and always flowing.

With that in mind, sometimes we come to the conclusion that toxic relationships need the heave-ho as much as it may or may not hurt.  We choose to discontinue relationships which aren’t working.  Sometimes people become bitter.  Sometimes people become disconnected.  Sometimes the end of a relationship seems not to matter in the least to them and sometimes it matters very much.

But the bottom line is:  Accept Them For Who They Are.

In every relationship, we have opportunities to grow and to learn.  Sometimes they are lessons we would rather not have and sometimes there are no horrendous lessons, just good old-fashioned love and comfort.  Do you know what I mean?

But those who are difficult in your life may be here to help you along with the lessons of life.  They are not here to necessarily be a pain in your neck as it may seem, but instead may be teachers who help you to grow in life.

Some relationships are here for a lifetime, some only for a season.  What bonds us to people is simple:  love and acceptance.

No relationship is perfect.  But in accepting people for who they are, we truly love them.  Not superficial love or that controlling love whereby we make it conditional.

True love which sometimes is rare.

You choose who you love and you can choose to love with heartfelt acceptance or not.  It’s truly up to you.  But to meet all people with acceptance in your heart is difficult at times.  We wish people reacted or acted in certain ways because it’s easier.  But to accept them for their choices is far better for us.  Give free will to love.

It’s an ongoing lesson for me which in my life has had twists and turns and has filled up my dance card with many chacha’s.  But I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Love your life and those in it, past, present and future with acceptance.

Shine On!

xo

Island

“I touch no one and no one touches me.”

~ Simon and Garfunkel

As loving souls, we often do things for others.  We are not looking for a specific thank you, we just want to help, to give and to love in our own special way.  Perhaps it is the ego in us which hopes for a small token of acknowledgement when we continue to strive to help another person.  We want them to see how much we love them and are willing to help, to support and to join forces.

But sometimes, even the most dedicated of us cannot make someone understand the amount of love we have for them.  The words, the actions fall on deafened ears and spirit.  We cannot bulldoze our way into their psyche.  The door is bolted shut and we are alone on the other side.  They are a rock, an island, not to be touched.

So how do you deal with an Island Gal or Guy?  Do you wait around for them to open the fortress door a crack to let some light in?  Or do you try to break it down with a loving embrace (provided they let you)?  Or do you knock three times saying the magic words, “abracadabra” and pray you’ll be heard?  Or do you kick the door and walk away?

It’s a hard position to be in.  One can only do what they can in a situation like this and it isn’t an easy place to be.  There’s a fine line between being self-sufficient and closed off to the world.  Only you yourself can open the door when you’re an Island.  Have you ever encountered an Island or a Rock Gal or Guy?  What happened?  Were you able to scale the castle walls and encourage a relationship or were you shot down?  Or did you just love them from afar, respecting their walls and taking what is given when it’s given?  Or did you finally just give up because you had no other choice?

I’m reminded of a song from my Dad’s 8 track player.  Perhaps it will conjure up some help in how to understand those rocks and islands in our lives.  Perhaps we should simply allow them their freedoms.

Shine On!

xo

A winter’s day
In a deep and dark December;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I’ve built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
It’s laughter and it’s loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Don’t talk of love,
But I’ve heard the words before;
It’s sleeping in my memory.
I won’t disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

 

Need a role model?

Meet Nick Vujicic

Are there moments when you feel you just can’t ________(whatever, you fill in the blank)?  Well, Oprah and I KNOW FOR SURE that Nick’s inspiring story will be one you won’t forget and one that you’ll carry with you.   This morning’s spotlight is on a happily married fellow from Melbourne Australia whom you may have seen on Oprah recently.  Nick was born without limbs as you can see on the card above that I made from photos from his website listed below, but that hasn’t stopped him from living a life of joy, faith, hope, love  and a powerful will to inspire every single person whom his amazing story touches.  His courage, his fearlessness and his faith will continue to astound you ~ he’s truly an extraordinary, inspiring person who shines!

If you do nothing else, take a moment and watch this video ~ it’s sure to inspire you today!

Nick recently graced the stage on Oprah’s LifeClass with Pastor Rick Warren  You can find Nick’s spotlight during that class by clicking http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/nickhugsoprah/.

Nick’s website is abundant with ways to change lives and to inspire you to make the best out of your life!  http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/

Nick has written a few books…click on them to find out more!

You can even find more in Nick’s store ~ http://store.lifewithoutlimbs.org/

You can attend this segment of  Oprah’s Life Class by clicking http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Oprah-and-Pastor-Rick-Warren-Winning-the-Hand-Youre-Dealt

I hope you enjoyed today’s inspirational person! 

Happy Sunday to YOU!

Shine On!

xo

Lovely Valentine Liebsters!

Happy Valentine’s Day to ALL!

I wish you a lifetime filled with love!

I thought today would be the perfect day to share the love of the Liebster because it’s all about our connections!  I am thankful to all of you who read my blog and especially thankful for your taking the time to like and comment on it! xo

My special thank you’s go to Patty from  http://thoughtsfromanamericanwoman.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/liebster-award/  and sweet pup Wiley of  http://wileyschmidt.wordpress.com/2013/02/11/it-only-takes-a-seed/  who recently nominated me for the Liebster!  Please make sure you check out their special blogs!  You won’t be disappointed!

My heartfelt thanks to you both!  Forgive me for putting you both together, but alas, it is VALENTINE’S DAY so I figured I could really make the Liebster powerful today!  I am so honored ~ thank you for making my heart sing!  Happy Valentine’s Day to you!

Here are the rules

1. Thank your Liebster Blog Award Presenter on your blog and link back to their blog

2. Answer the 11 questions from the nominator, list 11 random facts about yourself and create 11 questions for your nominees.

3. Present the Liebster Blog Award to 11 blogs of 200 followers or less who you feel deserve to be noticed and leave a comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been chosen.

4. Copy and Paste the blog award on your blog.

11 Random Facts about Me!

1.  I love to wake up early every morning so that I can have a quiet cup of coffee in my home while my family sleeps.

2.  My new favorite treat is Limited Edition Triple Stuffed Oreos ~ Oh so delish!

3.  I am excited to say I am in the middle of writing an inspirational e-book!

4.  I dislike cooking, but love to watch cooking shows!

5.  I smile at strangers.

6.  I love to be out on a boat on a sunny day!

7.  I could watch snowflakes falling for hours.

8.  I am happily and gratefully married almost 18 years.

9.  My teenagers still hug and kiss us everyday!

10.  My kitten (who is 5 yrs old) meows Mama when she’s looking for me ~ really!

 Here are my answers from Patty’s questions:

1. What is your favorite season?  I love them all ~ but I guess Summer because I love having my kids at home!

2. What is your favorite non-profit organization?   ACS ~ American Cancer Society and Society of the Little Flower (St. Therese)

3. If you can choose one place to live where would it be?  I believe that home is where your family is so I wouldn’t care as long as there was a season of summer!

4. What is your favorite song? I Love You Just the Way You Are! by Billy Joel

5. When you were younger what did you want to be when you grew up?  A Spanish teacher (which I was for 11 years!)

6. What is the one thing you always wanted to do that you never told anyone?  Drive a racecar

7. What is your favorite movie?  Gone With The Wind

8. How many brothers and sisters do you have?  1 sister

9. What is your pet peeve?  Narcissists

10. What is your favorite restaurant?  I love many restaurants!

11. Who do you admire the most and why?  Mother Teresa because she lived a life of loving everyone.

And from my favorite puppy blogger Wiley….

1) If money weren’t involved, what would you choose as a forever career?  A writer

2) What causes do you support, why, and how can we get involved?  I am a Reach to Recovery volunteer for the American Cancer Society.  You can get involved in many ways!

3) What is the first item on your bucket list?  Swim with dolphins in Hawaii followed by a helicopter ride

4) What is your personal life philosophy?  SendOutLove ~ which means smiling ~ helping ~ appreciating others ~ and letting them know!

5) If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be?  I would be less afraid!

6) What is the most important life lesson you have for your child/children? If you don’t have children, what is the most important life lesson you’ve learned and who did you learn it from?  I want my children to be good people ~ to have integrity, kindness and to use their intelligence to change the world. 🙂

7) What is your favorite quote?  “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change, ” from Dr. Wayne Dyer.

8) If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go?  Australia, Alaska, return to Spain.

9) If you could bring anyone back from the dead, who would you choose? Why?  My dad because I have so many questions and my Mom misses him so much.

10) Tell me about your favorite pet.  I have 2 cats currently whom I adore, but my  Chessie is almost 17 yrs old ~ she never left my side throughout my battle with breast cancer, she purred next to me whenever I slept and stayed close so that I was never alone.  Her dedication is a blessing in my life.  Tiffy, her 5 year old sister, makes me laugh all day and raises my spirits when needed.  They both give the best fur therapy ever!

11) In what do you find the simplest of joys?  My children, my husband, our pets, my life and hugs and kisses.

Here’s a special list in no particular order of some amazing blogs to follow!  Come share the love and visit them!

1.  Julia at http://defeatdespair.wordpress.com/

2.  Judy at http://judysp.wordpress.com/

3.  Ralph at http://bluefishway.com/

4.  Bobbi at  http://www.openyourjourney.com

5.  Diana at http://talktodiana.wordpress.com/

6.  Gail at http://nightowlgail.wordpress.com/

7.  Russ at http://russtowne.com/

8.  Ray at http://villageundertaker.wordpress.com/

9.  De at http://dlcloe.com/

10.  Carolyn at http://carolynhughesthehurthealer.com/

11.  http://cancerinmythirties.wordpress.com/

12.  Lisa at http://thelissachronicles.wordpress.com/

And  the questions for you to answer are:

1.  What’s your favorite day of the week and why?

2.  Why do you blog?

3.  Who do you love?

4.    What’s your favorite holiday and why?

5.  Do you have a guilty pleasure?

6.  Do you play an instrument?

7.  Can you please recommend a good book to read?

8.  Do you laugh everyday?

9.  What’s your favorite post on your blog?

1o.  Are you on Facebook?  If so, tell us where to find you!

Hugs to All!

SendOutLove Today!

xo

How to be a Rockstar on Valentine’s Day

When you hear the words Valentine’s Day, what comes to mind?  Are you excited to have the formal holiday opportunity to share your love or is it more of a fearful reaction combined with the wonder of what to say?  Or is Valentine’s Day one of those holidays which you wish would simply go away and not be, well, so global?!

Do you go into the store walk the aisles trying to find the right card with the right image and then get annoyed when the card of your choice is $4.99?  Or do you pick up cards only to put them down because they aren’t quite right?  Or are you like the SkitGuys below?  This is a good Monday giggle!

     

I’ve got the solution ~  SendOutCards!

Stay on your computer (or use the app on your phone)!

Log on here!

1.  Pick your card

2.  Write your heartfelt message

3.  Fill out the online envelope (yes, it’s that easy)

4.  Add a gift if you choose to and then click SEND!

Voila!  Your card and gift are printed and mailed for you so that your recipient gets a real paper card in the mailbox for Valentine’s Day!

You only pay for cards and gifts you send…the account is free! 

Cards cost under $2 plus postage!

YOU are a ROCKSTAR on VALENTINE’S DAY!

Shine On!

xo

Daily Prompt ~ Changes!

Change is beautifully inevitable

Daily Prompt: Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

You need to make a major change in your life. Do you make it all at once,

cold turkey style, or incrementally?

For me, changes have never been subtle in my life.  They’ve arrived cold turkey style and left me scrambling to start swimming in order to not drown under the tsunami of change.  Many of the changes took me a long time to come to terms with as some of them were life altering as many changes can be.  Take for instance being diagnosed with an illness such as cancer ~ or being told of the death of a loved one.  Those changes are life altering in and of themselves and they are changes which do not allow for a u-turn in the road of life.  You just have to keep swimming with the tide afterwards.

So I have turned to the cold turkey style of change as my comfort zone in life even though it may take me baby steps in time to allow for the adjustment that the change brings so in that case, I guess my answer is both incrementally and cold turkey!  The change itself, is cold turkey style, but the adjustment which occurs after it, is incremental.  Does that make sense?

For example, when I had my double mastectomy due to breast cancer, even though I was reconstructed in the OR so that I wouldn’t awaken without some type of mound on my chest, the change was most definitely cold turkey style.  There is nothing like falling asleep with my own soft breasts only to awaken with hard, unmoving and cold lumps called tissue expanders under the skin where previously there was warmth.  It took me a long time to be able to change my thoughts, my feelings about myself and find a new normal in accepting my new body, life and scars.  And I won’t say it is easy because it’s not, but I will say it is do-able and this gal who I am now, has a much richer life than before she was diagnosed in 2001.

Even when I was losing my hair due to the ACT chemotherapy that I was taking, I opted to cut off my own hair cold turkey and then incrementally go bald!  Once my hair began coming out in clumps in the shower which is an emotional roller coaster ride even though I knew it was going to happen, I decided to take control over my life and in turn, over the breast cancer that riddled my body.  With a bottle of champagne in one hand and my hair festooned with pink ribbon pony tails, my husband and I celebrated my taking control over my cancer.  Celebratory swigs bonded us as I carefully cut off the pony tails to my scalp, holding the clumps of hair by the pink ribbons.  I remember with the first cut that I couldn’t’ stop giggling because what woman in her right mind takes a pair of scissors to her head and chops off a clump of her hair?  I mean really?  But I did it and it was freeing!  Oh so freeing!

I took off about 10 pony tails (which I still have 2 of my original hair) and looked into the mirror.  All was fun and joyous until I realized that I had big clumps of missing hair on my head.  My gentle and sweet husband to whom I am still so grateful to be married, kissed and held me and then proceeded to cut my hair into a really short pixie style a la Mia Farrow.  (Thank goodness he wasn’t drinking as much champagne as I was that day!)

When he was finished, we looked into the bathroom mirror together and he held me ~ cradling me with his love ~ and he told me that ‘this too shall pass’ for which I believed him.

The next morning, my pillow looked as if a cat had slept on it as it was covered with my pixie short hairs which broke my heart.  So that night, my husband buzzed my head so that I wouldn’t have to awaken with the sadness of looking at my pillow and it was better for me.  Done ~ cold turkey ~ and I felt as though I could move on with my wig, my scarves and my hats.

I have walked through hell and have kept walking for which I am so grateful and I believe that’s why I write my blog ~ because I want to inspire and be inspired by all of you.  For you see, change is inevitable in our lives, so we have to keep evolving, keep flowing with our lives and keep taking baby steps forward.  We can change our course of direction at any time, but we can’t go backwards.  We can only stand still when we need to rest and then begin again.

What makes the changes easier is when we allow ourselves to connect with others on this lifetime journey.  Taking hold of a hand which is offered to you eases the transition of change.  It’s in those moments when we realize that we are all connected here and that change can be beautiful.  Keep smiling!

Shine On!

xo

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/02/04/daily-prompt-changes/