What Love Is Not

We write, speak and throw the word LOVE around often.  You’ve heard the saying, love makes the world go ’round and you get what you give.  But what isn’t love?  Do you know?

Growing up, I knew I was loved for I heard the words many times.  I have friends who didn’t hear those words from their parents’ mouths and yet, they still know that they are loved.  But I believe there are all types of love in our world.  There’s the burning passionate love and there’s the quiet acceptance of another person known as love.  There’s the love of your child, the love of a friend and there’s the love of mankind.  There’s loving a pet, loving what you do and loving life!  Most importantly, there’s self-love.  These are just a few examples of different types of love that are good.

But sometimes, what is perceived as love, is not, in fact, love because there are subtle differences.  There are disguises in love that I’ve learned in my lifetime.  Here are a few examples of What Love Is Not.

Love is NOT:

Repeating I love you constantly in order to hear it back,

Nor is it withholding the words I love you in order to hurt.

Expecting someone else to make you happy,

Nor is it being responsible to be another person’s everything.

Refusing to connect, share and speak in order to increase understanding,

Nor is it talking without listening.

Pointing fingers at mistakes,

Nor is it refusing to forgive when mistakes are made.

Holding back,

Nor is it pushing away.

Being in control of another person,

Nor is it being controlled by another person.

Shallow, superficial or pretentious,

Nor is it temperamental and able to be whisked away at the slightest provocation.

Suffering in silence,

Nor is it lashing out with undue violence.

Holding grudges, getting even,

Nor is it keeping track, tit for tat.

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What Love IS:

Love is compassionate.

Love understands.

Love listens.

Love shares.

Love forgives.

Love is kind.

Love takes time.

Love supports.

Love gives.

Love grows.

Love holds hearts, minds and bodies tenderly.

There are so many more examples of love, but I will leave you to add to the list in the comments section below.  Loving another person is simple even when life is complicated at times.  Recently I was told that I love with my whole heart and that’s my problem.  Perhaps it is, but it’s the only way I know how and the love I feel for all of you has brought me much peace in my life.  I want you to know that you are loved, every single one of you, for who you are.

Shine On!

xo

 

What’s the Bottom Line?

So what are you here for? 

Do you know? 

What’s your purpose? 

What’s your raison de etre?

I must confess I think I’ve found mine.  I’ve looked long and hard.  I have had many lessons that have humbled me and struck me to my core.  My life’s not been easy, but then there are few who can say that anyway.  Don’t you think?  I’ve searched, I’ve asked, “why me?” and I’ve come up empty without answers.  Until now.

It’s love.  Yes, simple and yet complicated love.  Loving myself and loving others in that peaceful, ‘I accept you as you are’ way.  It’s not an easy lesson nor purpose.  I’m most definitely a work in progress.  But the key for me is progress.  Sometimes it’s simply in that moment to moment progress of accepting situations, people and staying in a loving place all at the same time.  Sure, it’s frustrating, but I’m finding that the payoff is more than double the effort which makes it all worth-while.

Baby steps is the key.  Standing still when needed and even allowing a step or two backwards in order to solidify the lesson helps.  Love isn’t all fairy tales and moonbeams although the end results are!  Love heals, love excites, love believes, love hopes, love endures, love blesses, love remains even after all is said and done.

Love is the memory which remains long after we’re gone.  Think about it, you can be remembered for your Pulitzer Prize, your Gold Medal at the Olympics, your Golden Globe and even your 2014 County Fair’s First Place Blue Ribbon Apple Pie Recipe, but all of that fades after time when others who follow win as well.  Yes, you are special and I”m not taking away any of those honors.  I applaud you all!

What I’m simply saying is, when you live your life with love, your memory never fades away because it lives in beating hearts.  Does that make sense?  Your innate essence of love permeates those around you, the world in which you live, the trees which you plant, the seeds which you sow and that flourish after time.  The blossoms which remind us of you even years later.

I believe that 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says it best:

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

What’s your bottom line?

Shine On!

xo