Tag Archive | let go

I’m Fine

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The average person tells 4 lies a day

or 1460 a year;

a total of 86,700 by the age of 60. 

And the most common lie is:

I’m fine.

How many of us go about our day telling ourselves and anyone else who asks, “I’m fine,” even when we know we aren’t.  Denying the state of unrest within us doesn’t do anyone else any good, least of all ourselves.

Sure there are those of us who think we are inner powerhouses, who believe innately that we can work through the chaos and if we just put a little more effort into it, we can survive.  We continue to take each hurdle as it comes and keep moving forward, even when our body, mind, heart and soul yearn to rest.  But there’s no rest when we are amidst chaos.  We can’t let someone else down, nor ourselves.  We have to keep on, keeping on, in order to make it through, putting our best foot forward, because we are the responsible ones.  We are the ones whom everyone else is counting on and we just can’t let them down, nor can we face that sorry fact that we need help where we are.

If we were observant, we would face the truth and tell ourselves to reach out and we would know in our hearts that there are people who can and would help us.  Sometimes we do reach out, but if the person to whom we reach out can’t help us or won’t help us, we are doubly determined to just do it alone.  And so goes on that vicious circle of “I’m fine.”

But honestly. we are not alone.  You are not alone, nor am I.

And at times, we are certainly, NOT FINE.

Sure, I could tell you to rest and allow the weight of the world to fall off your shoulders at night so that you could sleep in peace.  You could hang your worries on a branch and give them over to God.  You could pray for solutions and look for signs from above.  You could reach out to friends and family for support or to trained professionals for guidance.  You could hire someone to do what it is you are so determined to do yourself.  It all depends on what is weighing you down and what is not fine.

But will you do that?

It’s a choice to get help when things are chaotic (and even when they aren’t).  It’s a letting go of the control and of the belief that I can do it.  It’s dropping the role that you’ve lead your entire life of being the responsible one and taking on obligations that maybe weren’t really even yours in the first place, but because nobody else stepped up, you did.

There will be those who criticize you if you choose to allow yourself to honestly say, “I’m not fine.”  There will be those who simply don’t understand what’s so hard for you when they look from the outside with their perception into your life.  There are those who will turn their backs and walk away.  Then there will be those who stay, who hold your hand, listen and pick up a shovel to help you get rid of the mess.

Those are the ones I want at my side.  What about you?

Trust in those who hold your hand with a loving heart space.  Allow their kindness, generosity and love to heal you, to help you and to ease the burdens you carry.  Trust in God that He can help you through these tough times.  And for goodness sake, get rid of the I’m fine, except when you know it will fall on deaf ears or when you really mean it.  Trust in I’m not fine, with those whose hearts are open to yours.

So if you’re asking me, “I’m not fine” today, but as Scarlett O’Hara once said, “Tomorrow is another day.”

How are you?

Shine On!

xo

How To Stop Being a “Fixer”

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It is truly time to allow, to let go and to find a way to not fix it all. I was/am? a person who liked to be in control. Not demanding mind you, (at least I didn’t think I was), but I liked to know the plan and execute it. We may sound similar if you are reading this post. But I have learned that through this journey, I’ve had to let go and it is still hard for me to do. But in letting go, I’ve opened up to an abundance of awareness, growth, love, friendship, connections with others and had an incredible soul journey that would not have been available to me had I stayed in the control, fix it place. Because, what hit me was the line, ‘who died and left you boss? You are not God,’ which I hope does not offend you, but perhaps gives you the added boost to see from an observer mode instead of the path ahead (that we had planned so carefully) that has literally fallen to pieces.

I see the path ahead now, strewn with debris and sometimes avalanches of emotion, hurt, betrayal and sadness. But there is still a path and as I take baby steps forward, I can clear the debris, learn from the experiences and keep moving on. I’ve found that there are others on this path that help me as I help you and as you help me to move forward.  And then also to rest when needed.

I’m not asking you to give up control or to stop fixing…I’m only asking you to accept what is unacceptable as part of the journey of life and to find peace in your heart to welcome the lessons as they will make you stronger in body/mind/soul. It’s a great leap of faith that is your opportunity here. I’m not saying that you need to find God as I don’t even know how you feel about religion.  I believe in God, Divinity and the Universe.  I am comfortable in being spiritual and using what I learn by reading, by communicating and by connecting with others and I find that I am making my own way, picking and choosing what feels right to me at that time ~ and sometimes choosing again when it’s not serving me. That’s the beauty of life.

Many of us come to this life with the idea that everything should be hunky dory because we’ve worked so hard to make it be as such. We strive for the even keel and smooth sailing, but storms arise, even in nature and we must accept that piece in order to find peace. There comes a time in life when we need to grow, to expand our horizons, to search for our next level of understanding in life.

Fix yourself is the first lesson.  Take care of you ~ nuture yourself, grow in your understanding, be patient with yourself and others, read, meditate and allow.  Allowing yourself 5 minutes of silence in which to simply breathe and focus in the morning and at night helps.  You are in charge of you.  You are not in control of anyone else on the fixing level.  Every single person has free will and can choose how they live their life.  You are not God.  Allow Him to do His job and you will see how amazing life can be!

Shine On!

xo

Tidbit from Marilyn

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I believe that everything happens for a reason.

People change so that you can learn to let go,

things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right,

you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,

and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

~ Marilyn Monroe

Happy Friday!  May your coming weekend be filled with love, laughter, health, wealth and joy!

Shine On!

xo

Where Does Peace Begin?

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“Peace begins when expectation ends.” ~ Sri Chinmoy

We all desire peace in our lives ~ warm, loving peace within our hearts, minds and souls and peace which embraces our every moment of everyday.  Peace for ourselves, our loved ones, for strangers and hopefully, peace for the entire world.

But how in the world do you find peace?  Where does peace begin?  Obviously it’s by choice, but sometimes we can choose to see from a peaceful place and still continue to feel anxiety.  So where does peace begin?

Peace begins when expectation ends.  So…stop expecting.  Let go of expectations.  Just release those expectations that you hold for yourself and others.  Allow the world to flow.  Stop trying to control everything and everyone.  Stop beating yourself up because you aren’t enough in their eyes or in your own.  Stop trying to live up to others’ expectations.  I give you permission because sometimes we feel the need for permission to now go live our own lives.

Drop the expectations from your shoulders.

Choose to do your best every single moment of every single day.

Sleep peacefully on your pillow at night knowing you did your best.

Rise up to the dawn with hope in your heart.

Brighten the day ahead with loving wonderful peace.

You are loved.

Shine On!

xo

 

 

Why Should I Fear?

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“Behind me is infinite power.  Before me is endless possibility.  Around me is boundless opportunity.  Why should I fear?”         – Stella Stuart

I love synchronicity ~ I saw this quote and knew it was for us today!  Some of us hold fear and worry and we need to let it go.  So perhaps in keeping this great quote above in our minds, we can realize that we can let go of fear for we are powerful!  Loving yourself is allowing your fears to fall away and igniting your spiritual power to SOAR!

So if you have a bit of fear within, here are some motivational quotes that might resonate with you!

FEAR:  False Evidence Appearing Real ~ Unknown

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.  ~ Japanese Proverb

Your fear is 100% dependent on you for its survival. ~ Steve Maraboli

And because it’s Sunday…

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)

So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can Man do to me?” (Hebrews 13:6)

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:27)

Shine On!

xo

An Epiphany for Superwoman

Calm. Sometimes God calms the storm, sometimes He calms the sailor (Superwoman).

It’s been 12 weeks since my Dad passed away…12 weeks!  I can hardly believe that 3 full months have passed and that I’m still ticking off every Thursday afternoon as another week.  I saw this card and thought it was perfect for me because I’ve been feeling very stormy lately.  There is much going on in my life in addition to my Dad’s passing and being in charge of the subsequent details of wrapping up a human life’s affairs and business.   I am still in the midst of the eye of the storm.

However, I had an epiphany yesterday ~ so similar to this card that I had to write today.  You see, my stormy seas aren’t going away any time soon because there is still much to do for Dad, for my family and I am still healing from my surgery 2 weeks ago and have another scheduled for October.  The seas are really choppy for me right now, testing me and tossing me around with tear-filled moments.  So I’m asking for God/Universe/Spirit to calm them, but more fervently, I am asking for calm for me.  You see, I’ve ridden stormy seas before with my breast cancer and other life challenges…I see them as a kind of test that we are put through…and this one is again, a test of a huge magnitude.

When I sit quietly which I have been doing more often lately now that the kids are back in school, I realize that my plate is overflowing.  I expect a lot from myself and in this moment, there is no exception to that rule.  In fact, before my epiphany, I was unable to see that perhaps I am not quite the Superwoman I expect myself to be.  In fact, there have been times recently that I have been full-blown disappointed in myself for not keeping up, for not doing it all, for not being able to clone myself into the 5 different roles I need to be 24/7!

I’m re-reading a compilation by one of my favorite authors now…and later on, I’ll tell you all about her, but her method is simple and it works.  In the hustle and bustle of these seas, I’d allowed myself to get tossed and not navigate my own life.  I hadn’t asked for help from anyone.  I’d simply loaded myself up until I crumbled.  Isn’t that the way many of us do it?  Superwomen/Supermen…we just keep taking on until we can no longer fit anything more without drowning.

Well, I’m not drowning ~ nope ~ not even close!  I took hold of the rudder this weekend and decided to steer my own ship through these waters.  I cried “UNCLE!” and gave it up to God/Universe/Spirit.  I handed it over ~ cast the burden so to speak ~ so that I could allow myself healing time.  I need to concentrate on growing my ‘self-love’ which I’d tossed by the wayside in the turmoil.

“I cast the burden on the Christ within and I am free to live in peace.”

Sound familiar to anyone?

xo