When I wrote about Collateral Beauty before in my blog, I thought I was done. But I felt a pull to write again. I am a bit teary this morning, but I can’t explain why. On the outside of my life, all is well and the pieces that in the past fell apart and broke, are mending. Inside I feel a healing coming forth, like a flower bulb awakening after winter’s frost and pushing through the garden dirt towards the sun.
I am re-awakening from my life’s slumber.
Since the eclipse, I feel more profoundly these days. Not like mood swings exactly. Simply it’s that I feel such a deep connection to others, to Mother Nature and to all that is behind the veil. No, I am not losing my mind. I think it is emerging with knowledge, with knowing and uncovering from the mantle of fear and sadness which clothed me for so long and held down my spirit, my authentic self.
It is a slow process as I dig out from the ruins of my former life into the sunshine. Bit by bit, stone by stone I am releasing what held me back, what I allowed to hold me back and freeing my soul from her immersion into solitude.
It isn’t easy this reawakening. It tires me. Bursts of energy excite me and here and there a plateau seems to appear where I find respite for a bit. Sometimes I drop a few steps from the plateau only to have to climb back up again to rest, but the journey is simple. It requires letting go of the sandbags which held me down, the fears which pinned my soul into a box of belonging and the embracing of freedom to be me, without worry of judgement.
Emerging from a shell, a cocoon.
That’s where Collateral Beauty calls to me in movie form again. Although our circumstances were different, the journey was similar. Isn’t that the way it is with most connections? At this time I have friends who are slowly losing family members to death and I feel as if we connect in a higher plane. It is as if I am here to help them on their journey of accepting the physical loss of family because I have experienced it as well, numerous times now, in all different ways.
Please do something small with great love today.