Tag Archive | ICU

Gratitude Day 20 ~ Back to the Light

Sometimes our hearts get tangled and our souls a little off-kilter

friends and family can set us right

and help guide us back to the light. Sera Christann

I write today’s post with such heartfelt gratitude for so many people, many that I didn’t know previously, who have prayed for us, helped us behind the scenes and have sent their loving messages to our family.  The outpouring of love is a bit overwhelming at times as is the entire situation.  I truly feel so blessed as does my family.

We are not out of the woods yet by any stretch with my Dad’s health situation.  The amazing doctors and nurses continue to try new and innovative ways to regain his health.  I have said it before, we are on a seesaw as he is now 14 days in the ICU ~ and at times, his situation improves and we go up ~ and then it declines and we go down.

Our souls and hearts have been mangled lately with the ups and downs ~ hoping against hope, believing and yet worried…holding on to that Beacon of Hope and trying to grasp the faith of a mustard seed…and all the while, we’ve been surrounded by angels who continue to pour their love around us, sheltering us and helping to guide us as we navigate these difficult waters.

And today, I am so grateful for you all ~ and I want you to know how much it means to us to get your emails, texts, phone calls, FB messages and even comments on my blog…your hearts infuse us with light, hope and strength so that we can continue to help Dad and Mom as we continue on this journey.

With loving gratitude always,

xo

Gratitude Day 18 ~ The Royall Treatment

“Progress, of the best kind, is comparatively slow.

Great results cannot be achieved at once;

and we must be satisfied to advance in life as we walk, step by step.” -Samuel Smiles

We are living on a seesaw at the moment…one minute my Dad is stable-ish and the next minute, we have problems.  It is very hard to live like this for so many days.  I always talk about taking baby steps and it is what we are doing…or better said, what he’s doing.  So many times, we have been told that this may be it and then he rallies.  I’ve been calling him the energizer bunny because he just keeps going and going.

But things aren’t great and all of the stress on his body, the difficulties in breathing, the strain on his organs, is taking their toll on him.  He’s on a ventilator and his body is sedated.  It is sad to watch the machines breathing for him, knowing that he has no idea that we are there for him.  Somewhere in my mind and spirit though I feel like he may know that we are there for him ~ for love surpasses all.

As my Mom has repeated ~ all you need is the faith of a mustard seed ~ and she has that faith…the faith that’s bigger than the mustard seed.

So today I am grateful for the staff and especially my Dad’s specialist who are giving his the Royall treatment while he is in the ICU.  The caring, going above and beyond job description and infinite patience, love and continuing to hold that glimmer of hope all the while finding other ways to heal him have made our step by step healing easier for Dad and for us.

Thank you for the Royall Treatment!

xo

Gratitude Day 10 ~ Daddy’s Rainbow

Yesterday was a very hard day for my family as my Dad’s situation worsened as the day went on which finally culminated in him being moved to ICU.  He wasn’t getting enough oxygen and his veins were unable to be accessed since he was so dehydrated even though he was being given an IV.  By 10:30pm at night, we were thinking the worst ~ my Mom, my sister AAngel and me.    In a panic, earlier in the day, I called my friend BAngel, sobbing uncontrollably as I told her what was going on.  It was so hard for me to stay away from his bedside but I had to for his health as well as my own.  I was unable to fathom that I might never see him again alive and was trying to comfort myself in the knowledge that the last time I had seen him, we had chatted amiably for over 2 hours which was so nice.  He had come over with my Mom to my house and it was just the 3 of us for awhile.  It hadn’t been just the 3 of us talking for a long time.

BAngel spoke to me in the most loving way possible.  As she gently explained what I needed to do and changed my way of thinking, I felt an increase in peaceful thoughts permeate my being, knowing that I had no control over the situation and that I just needed to be supportive to everyone involved ~ be the base camp for AAngel and my Mom ~ and send loving thoughts to my Dad.   When I allowed her sage wisdom to stay in my heart and mind, I was able to function, but when I allowed myself to succumb to fear and ego, I became a blubbering mess.

Last night when I laid my head upon the pillow, I spoke to God/Universe and to my Dad directly.  It was an amazing feeling as I felt as if I were speaking to him directly even though I knew he was so sedated that he wasn’t connecting with anyone at all.  But spirit to spirit, I believe we communicated.  Now you might think it strange for me to feel this way, but I know what I felt and the peace it gave me.  I went to sleep knowing that tomorrow would be a new day and hoped that I would not get a phone call during the night from the hospital nor from AAngel.

I happily report today how GRATEFUL I am that I awoke at 5am without having a sad phone call interrupting my sleep.  I’ve called the hospital already this morning to hear that he is alert, in grave condition, but there’s hope.

I took a drive yesterday afternoon to get out of the house ~ as I left the house, the skies opened up and we had thunder, lightning and a rainstorm.  Suddenly, the sun peaked out and although it was still raining, all of a sudden I saw this beautiful rainbow.  So I followed it until I could find a safe place to park and take a picture.  Growing up my Mom would call a sunny rainstorm ~ the Devil is beating his wife ~ I have no idea what that means…but we’ve always said it.

Scientifically, I know why we had the rainbow, but in my heart, I believe it was my Gift from God ~ a Gift of Faith, Love and Understanding.  So I’ve nicknamed that rainbow Daddy’s Rainbow today…and for Father’s Day it will be his card.  Prayers said, fingers crossed and giving the situation up to God/Universe.

Thanks for all of your prayers, comforting messages and thoughts.

I appreciate you all!

xo