Prayer does not change God, but it changes him who prays.
~ Soren Kierkegaard
I admit, I used to pray daily. I found solace in saying prayers and even made up my own which I said everyday. I’ve used affirmations as well which I think are like small prayers to the Divine. But somehow I got too busy for the practice of being present and simply allowing my mind to feel, to pray and to just be. I’ve allowed anxiety and trying to control everything to overtake me. The hustle and bustle of the day, accompanied by having been put in charge of family matters since my Dad passed has put much pressure on me. And I even believe that I am pretty present in my life, but the more I’ve been thinking about it, the more I’m realizing that I’ve lost touch with that sacred part of me and I want it back. I want the safety of allowing life to unfold without the intensity of trying to control and keep tabs on everyone and everything. I long to allow others to help themselves or at least have the freedom to choose what they want without feeling the intense responsibility of making sure that ‘all my ducks are in a row’ and that everyone has what they need/want at all times. Because, I’ve put them all first and in the process, I realize, I’ve lost my own self.
Does this make sense to you? I’m not particularly religious, but I am spiritual. Much to the chagrin of some, I believe what I believe in my heart and I don’t always feel the need to be blatant about what I feel in my heart. I’ve taught my children the power of prayer, the grace of God and how to live a good life. But I don’t feel the need to pound the pulpit nor attend a revival in order to make it so in my life.
But there’s something magical about the sincerity of prayer, about putting to words our supplications and our gratitude for the gifts we have been blessed with in our lives. Simply feeling gratitude for the present moment of being alive is sometimes all that’s needed to get our minds back on track. It’s in that morning dew that I find that solace and peacefulness within my heart. Perhaps tomorrow I’ll get up a few minutes earlier to commune with Mother Nature and with Infinite Spirit/Divine/God/ Source/my inner power. Yes, I think I will do just that and see how my life evolves again.
I’m striving for peace in all I do.
It’s time for a change. Do you want to join me?