Cancer Changed Me

Hope ~ Strength ~ Power ~ Belief ~ Courage ~ Honor ~ Determination

I have been told that cancer changed me.  Indeed, it wasn’t said it in the nicest of ways.  In fact, it was taken as a disparaging comment and I was appalled by the off-hand comment.  My first reaction was to defend myself at the time, to show how cancer didn’t change me.  But I left well-enough alone and decided to say nothing.  However, I was hurt by the retort.

Had cancer really changed me?

The question mulled in my head for days and many sleepless nights, more than I’d like to admit, but it’s true.  I’ve written how cancer changes you enough times in this blog to know that the reality is – YES, cancer changes most of us.  It has to, or we wouldn’t still be here.  For we have seen into the yawning mouth of our own demise, endured the most feared emotions and have come out of it alive, so far.  Looking at your own potential death does change you.

It makes you more aware for the most part.  Some of us now see with finite definition that life is short and there are no guarantees how much time we have on this earth.  We become grateful for the beauty in nature, for the simple pleasures that kindness brings and for a real, loving hug which can cure many ills.  We look to connect with others more because we know what it’s like to feel alone.  We share our stories, encourage each other and find the courage to be who we authentically are!  We smile when we are tired.  We work hard to overcome obstacles and to be there for others, even when we feel depleted.  We take that extra moment to smile and to enjoy goodness when it comes into our lives.  We are grateful for the support that we have been given and we look to support others to continue the flow of goodness.  We share tips to help others and happily receive tips to make our lives easier.

We know that all the money in the world, with all the frivolities are fleeting and really don’t mean a damn when death comes knocking at our door.  It’s that silence between ourselves and our maker (or our beliefs) in the quiet of the night that counts.  It’s regarding peace within as a precious gift, time spent with loved ones and a centered calm in which to retreat when life becomes hard.  It’s the voice within the stillness which speaks of love, gratitude, peace with ourselves and others and God.

Yes, cancer changed me.  That’s for sure.  Perhaps it was the misunderstanding of me that caused this person to spout the ‘dig’ as I took it.  Sometimes it takes a loss for us to be humble and perhaps there will be people who simply never understand.  And that’s ok with me.

I am me, authentically me.  I make mistakes, I ask for forgiveness and I forgive.  I choose to live in a state of peace within when I can, but I am always evolving, ever growing and yet, trying to do all things with love.  I intend to do my best, at any given moment, but I’m human.  I’m a work in progress.  Aren’t we all?

What’s precious to me in my life is love, kindness and connections and I strive every day to live with those three precious gems in my life.  Cancer made me a better person by giving me so many lessons in my life.  I’ve learned so much from cancer, even though I never wanted to endure that disease.  Looking back on my life, I realize that I am who I am today because of cancer.  Even if others don’t understand me, it’s ok now.  I’m at peace and I’m ever grateful for the peace within me.

Shine On!

xo

I Am In Love With Hope

The above is an excerpt from Mitch Albom’s book, Have A Little Faith which touched my soul and I just felt the need to share it.  So please enjoy and let me know what you think!

I am in love with hope.  That’s the truth.

Shine On!

xo

It’s Been 15 Years and I’m Still Here!

Fifteen years ago today, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  At times, it seems as if it were yesterday.  At others, it seems a lifetime ago.  But as any cancer survivor knows, we never forget the diagnosis which begins this journey.

So today, I celebrate with gratitude the triumph of still being here to enjoy my life with my children.  Even though I celebrate this milestone alone today, I have many angels in my life to whom I look with loving gratitude for all that they have done for me throughout the years.  I hold dearly those memories of loving support and kindness which were gifted to me.  Indeed, sometimes it takes a village.

My life has changed by leaps and bounds since that fateful day.  I’ve overcome 10 + surgeries, chemotherapy, baldness, radiation and countless scares that the cancer had returned.  I’ve loved and lost and let go.  But what remains is my faith, my courage and my choice to stay here and fight for my life.

I’ve learned so many lessons by enduring cancer, ones that perhaps I wish I’d never learned, but yet I am grateful all the same.

So on this New Year’s Eve Day, please celebrate with me as I celebrate with you.  Cheers with gratitude to the lessons learned in the past 15 years and cheers to another year filled with light, love, health, prosperity and happiness for all!

Shine On!

xo

Recipe for Enduring Breast Cancer

Hope Strength Power Belief Courage Honor Determination

In order to survive Breast Cancer (and any other illness, tragedy, trauma) it’s necessary to collect all of your essential ingredients in order to endure the situation at hand.  A great dose of support is also needed as back up when your ingredients run low and you need a refill.  A quick jog to the store won’t suffice.  You need a team, a village, to count on and that’s where the internet, blogs, websites and support groups can wield a mighty sword to help you combat your ills.

A hefty dose of the above helps:

Hope

Strength

Power

Belief

Courage

Honor

Determination

In addition to a heavy handed sprinkling of

Humor, Love, Presence and Support.

Which is all fine and good as words, but how do you go about stockpiling these main ingredients when you’ve just been blindsided by your diagnosis and news?  I wish I could say it is easy, but it’s not.  That’s where your determination comes in.  You have to set your own mind to believing that you have the courage, the strength, the hope, and the inner power to endure.

You have all of this inside ~ you simply have to tap into it.  You must do the work.  There’s no way around it.  It is your mind that needs to have its power harnessed to heal your life.  Humor, love, presence and support may come from the outside from which you can receive the stores from others.  But you my friend, must believe that you are ready and worthy to battle and must prepare your mind, heart and soul to overcome the obstacles that are placed before you.

So how do you do this?  You harness your mind by feeding it positive thinking.  You eradicate negativity from your life, like removing rose petals from a rose, you gently pluck the negative thoughts from your heart and in place, you add the essence of the rose ~ the inner beauty and strength that comes from a rose simply being a rose.

Is this making any sense to you?  Do you need concrete examples?  Are you thinking I’m too pie in the sky for you?  Too Pollyanna and yippy skippy?  Not down to Earth enough?

Watch for it.  In the meantime, you need to get yourself ready.  Enjoy this day.  Get outside and look up to the sky.  Breathe.  Take 3 minutes to just listen to the wind, feel the earth under your feet and reconnect with nature.  Find a bit of inner and outer peace in being present.  You don’t have to do it for long.   Just feel the peace.

I’m holding  your hand.  You’ve got a friend in me.  Take your time.  Allow the grief and the healing to come to you and welcome it with your arms open wide.  You can do this!

Shine On!

xo

Teardrop Poetry

Teardrops fall unbidden

like raindrops outside the window,

nourishing the soul,

so she can blossom again.

Cleansing, letting go

of winters passed

turning a tear-streaked face

to the spring of a new dawn.

~The Presents of Presence

Shine On!

xo

How To Pick Yourself Up

There are times in all of our lives when all of our best laid plans and dreams go kapluey. (Does anyone know how to spell that word correctly?  Please advise!)  It hardly ever happens at a convenient time because, let’s be frank, whoever says, “I want upheaval in my life right now!  Woo Hoo!  Bring it on!”  To my knowledge, those people are few and far between, as the majority of us would prefer smooth sailing.

But that’s not always possible, nor is it probably beneficial, because even in nature, a little rain must fall from time to time to grow us, a little sun must shine to heal us and a little wind must blow to help us to connect with others.

Ok, am I being too spiritual for you?  Do you think I don’t understand all that you’re enduring?  I may not, but I have endured much in this life so far and I have found that in sharing our stories, we help ourselves and others to find peace.

Maybe that’s not the way for you.  Perhaps the darkness feels too heavy right now for you.  I have been there and I understand.  I have felt the weight of sadness in my life.  We all have.  But it’s what you do with your sadness that makes the difference.

There’s a time and a place to sink into the sad, poor me bubble.  I do not deny that fact.  But there is a time when we must be like the little donkey, see my post ~ https://misifusa.wordpress.com/2013/08/30/fridays-burro/ ~ and take what we are given and use the experiences to find our heartlight again, to reignite it and to grow!

I can hear some of you now ~ she doesn’t get what I’m dealing with here, I’m just barely surviving, this is too pie in the sky baloney, she doesn’t know me, she doesn’t have a clue, etc.

Yes, I know and you are right.  I do not understand whatever you are dealing with at this time.  But then again, maybe I’ve experienced something similar.

The difference is what we do when the chips are down and how we react when our path gets strewn with debris, disappointments and such.  We can get angry, get resentful and be hurtful.  We can wallow in an all-out pity party.  We can turn the other cheek.  We can walk away.  We can hang on with all we’ve got.  We can share our strive with trusted friends.  We can take pills to make the pain go away.  We can attend to fixing the situation at hand.  We can ignore it.  We can allow our hearts to harden.  We can be doormats.  We can put up walls and shut everyone out.

OR

We can look inside of ourselves and work on healing.

It’s a choice dear friends.  That’s what life is all about ~ choices.  We have the freedom to choose every single moment of everyday.  We can choose again if we find that our initial choice isn’t what we want.  That’s the beauty of life school.

So how do we pick ourselves up after we stumble?

We choose to pick ourselves up.  That’s step one and a very important step in life.  The first one is sometimes the hardest step (you’ve heard the expression, that first step is a lulu!) but it’s the beginning after an ending and it’s a baby step for sure.

But it is always, a step in the right direction and that’s how we pick ourselves up!

Shine On!

xo

 

Ringing in 2016

May 2016 be the year all of our wishes are fulfilled.

May love, health, wealth and joy be ours.

May we make memories to hold close to our hearts.

May we be healthy in mind, heart, body and soul.

May we heal in miraculous ways.

May we reach out in kindness and be greeted in kind everyday.

May we know love and trust in the Universe.

May we travel safely.

May we keep our faith strong.

May our heartlights shine brightly.

May hope spring eternal.

May love conquer all.

May we continue to be grateful and appreciate every gift.

May we remember to look up and to search within when times are hard.

May we count blessings and not troubles.

 May we make connections through caring.

May we hold dearly the Presents of Presence.

May peace be ours to share with the world.

~~~~~~~~

 May we never forget we are perfect, whole, complete and loved.

May 2016 be your best year yet!

Shine On!

xo