Tag Archive | help

Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

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“You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

You’re on your own. And you know what you know.

And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”

~ Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

It can be daunting to feel that freedom, to relax into it and to own it.  Many people feel it’s only for the young in age, but I believe it’s for the young at heart and available to us all.  Sure, we need to keep in mind those who depend on us, but to know that we can choose is what we seem to forget.

And that’s when we get lost.

Somewhere around middle age, in between jobs, spouses, children and responsibilities, we seem to lose that spark we owned when we were younger and had more freedom.  Lost in the shuffle of droning routine, we lose connections with ourselves and others.  We trod on the path expected, head down, shuffling along and finding ourselves miserable.

It happens to the best of us.  We sleepwalk through our lives until something pulls the rug right out from under us and we’re stopped in our tracks.  It’s then that we pick our heads up to see where we are and we look around at our lives from all aspects.  Sometimes we don’t know where we are, how we got here and realize that this is not what we wanted or what we expected.

And then we choose to change.

It’s good to re-evaluate where we are from time to time.  To see if our relationships, our jobs, our health and our responsibilities are indeed what we choose to have in our lives.  And if it’s not working, then we change direction in the kindest way possible.  For as Dr. Seuss says, “And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”

Take some quiet time this weekend for yourself.  Look around at your life and inspect where you are.  See if you are connecting with the people in your life and with yourself.  If you aren’t, then do something about it!  Hold a hand, give a hug, be thoughtful in how you treat yourself and others.  It only takes a moment of clarity to change the way you are looking at your life.  Don’t throw it all away.  Life is short.  Communicate.  Connect.  Choose kindness.  It’s possible.

Shine On!

xo

Need Help When You’re Grieving?

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I’m sharing snippets from here  in hopes that what I have learned from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD, will help you along the way.  Please note that her intention was to apply her 5 stages of grief to the survivors of a loved one’s death or to people who are facing their own impending death.

For me, I think the stages can be applied to any sense of loss be it financial, health, relationship, etc.  Please note that italicized words are directly from her website listed above.

A little background:

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D. ~ A pioneer in Near-death studies and the author of the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying(1969), where she first discussed what is now known as the Kübler-Ross model. In this work she proposed the now famous Five Stages of Grief as a pattern of adjustment. These five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In general, individuals experience most of these stages, though in no defined sequence, after being faced with the reality of their impending death. The five stages have since been adopted by many as applying to the survivors of a loved one’s death, as well.

Here, I found a simple way to look at…

The Five Stages of Grief

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Have you ever heard of them?  When you think about your life right now, do any of these feel familiar?  At times, I think we can stagnate in the stages of grief, burying ourselves in them like an old comfy blanket.  It’s not even that we flow through the stages in a predictable way.  Sometimes, we dance through them like an untrained cha-cha, forward and backwards with no sense of timing.  It helps when a friend can reach out to share the journey with you and recognize if you cannot, the stages you’ve endured and where you are right now.

Many times in my life, I have flowed through the stages, in varying degrees for various experiences which I’ve endured.  The bottom line is that through grief, we are searching for a new normal because the ‘normal’ that we knew, no longer applies to the present reality in our lives.  It’s in this way that the stages are good for us all.

It’s not an easy path to a ‘new normal’ when we must accept change.  But it is something we are all capable of learning, growing and flowing through with help.  I encourage you to reach out, to read and to ask for help.  We are here, those of us who have endured all different aspects of life’s journey.  You are not alone.

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  Have you ever heard of the 5 stages of grief before?  Have you any experience with them?  Please share below! xo

Anchors or Catapults?

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“Obstacles can either be binding or freeing.

It all depends upon our attitude toward them.

We can either view them as anchors or catapults.”

Alan A. Malizia, a Contagious Optimism coauthor

I got this in my email over the weekend and I just had to share it!   Alan comments on my blog sometimes and I just loved this quote and how it made me think.  So I thought I’d pass it along to you!

I hope you all had a lovely weekend.  Cheers to a beautiful, loving, sweet, productive, happy and healthy week ahead for us all!  Catapult away!!

Shine On!

xo

When Life is a Little Stormy

75629308_when life is a little stormy, you can count on me.

Have you ever felt like life is stormy?  That it’s not just the weather which is gloomy, but you yourself as well?    What do you do about it?

Do you….

  • have a pajama day and stay home, not leaving the house? 
  • call a friend or family member? 
  • log in online and blog? 
  • search for a ray of sunshine amongst blog posts, emails or Facebook snippets? 
  • pick up a feel good book to read? 
  • choose to watch mindless television? 
  • reach out for some fur therapy from your pet or some hugs from friends and family? 
  • take a walk and get some endorphins moving? 
  • wade through the storm, allow the tears to flow and just be with the emotions?
  • find an oldie, but goodie movie to lift your spirits?
  • eat chocolate or some forbidden goodies?
  • get dressed up and go out?
  • smile at yourself in the mirror, hoping to change how you feel?
  • pick yourself up by the ‘bootstraps’ and just move on?

What is it that you do?

Please share so that we can get some ideas!

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  At the moment, I’m not stormy, but the weather is changing to Nor’easter status here!

How to Freshen Your Hopes

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I want to do the right thing, but often, I don’t know just what the right thing is.  Every day I know I have come short of what I would like to have done.  Yet as the years pass and I see the very world itself with its oceans and mountains and plains as something unfinished, a peculiar little satisfaction hunts out the corners of my heart.  Sunsets and evening shadows find me regretful at tasks undone, but sleep and the dawn and the air of the morning touch me with freshening hopes. ~ Carl Sandburg

Do you feel this way at times?  Do you gently lay your head upon your pillow at night, unable to sleep while you recount the day’s events, perhaps even berating yourself for tasks undone, words unsaid (or said) and the feeling of an unfinished day?  Then take a lesson from Carl Sandburg and allow the day to be done, gone the sun…and allow the dawn to freshen your hopes for a new day!

Dawn brings enthusiasm, optimism, inspiration!  Awaken with the joy of a new day where miracles can and do happen!  Where you can create what you want on the clean canvas of a new day!  May you find joy today and every day!  This is your day to…

Shine On!

xo

How Do You Look at Your Life?

76041477_Photo Credit ~ SBGAngel ~ Thank you!

“If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more.

If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”
Oprah Winfrey

Have you ever read The Secret or learned about the Laws of Attraction?  Have you ever read The Game of Life and How to Play It?  Surely there are more books which explain these topics, but in a nutshell, here’s the message:

“What you concentrate on, grows.” ~ Y.D.

So as you go about your day today, concentrate on the good, the blessings, the happy moments.  Times may feel difficult for you and there may be sadness as well ~ honor those feelings and then get back on the red carpet of your life.  You know, most mornings, I imagine that there’s a red carpet laid out in front of me and all I have to do is to follow it ~ kinda like the yellow brick road that Dorothy followed home.  My job is to simply stay on my path and keep trying to inspire, to do good, to help others (and myself) and to be the best person I can be.  When I break it down to that simplicity (stay on the red carpet), things go my way, I can get a lot done and I feel like I”m serving my purpose.

What about you?  What’s your secret to looking at your life?

Please share below!

Shine On!

xo

https://misifusa.wordpress.com/2013/06/10/the-secret-of-success/

https://misifusa.wordpress.com/2012/10/17/ive-got-the-secret/

https://misifusa.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/empower-your-life-easily-with-spiritual-laws/

A Trouble Solution

76140464_A photo of My Trouble Tree

At some point, each of us has had troubles.   Above is a picture of my new solution that I learned thanks to my friend Russ Towne.  This was such a great post that it’s a repeater and a keeper!

The Trouble Tree

Click here to see Russ Towne’s original post!

I hired a plumber to help me restore an old farmhouse, and after he had just finished a rough first day on the job: a flat tire made him lose an hour of work, his electric drill quit and his ancient one ton truck
refused to start.

While I drove him home, he sat in stony silence. On arriving, he invited me in to meet his family. As we walked toward the front door, he paused briefly at a small tree, touching the tips of the branches with both hands.  When opening the door he underwent an amazing transformation. His face was wreathed in smiles and he hugged his two small children and gave his wife a kiss.

Afterward he walked me to the car. We passed the tree and my curiosity got the better of me. I asked him about what I had seen him do earlier.

‘Oh, that’s my trouble tree,’ he replied ‘I know I can’t help having troubles on the job, but one thing’s for sure, those troubles don’t belong in the house with my wife and the children.  So I just hang them
up on the tree every night when I come home and ask God to take care of them.  Then in the morning I pick them up again.  ‘Funny thing is,’ he smiled, ’when I come out in the morning to pick ‘em up, there aren’t nearly as many as I remember hanging up the night before.’

Hang up your troubles on your Trouble Tree

and

Shine on!

xo

Daily Prompt ~ It’s Rocky Here!

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Depending upon the situation, I usually prefer to rely on myself for too many times I’ve been berated for being sad ~ even having been told that my personality had changed when my Dad died and I was left with the burdens that followed.  To this day, that thoughtless comment has changed the way I feel about sharing and has caused me to pull away from those in whom I confided and trusted.   I’m surrounded by well-meaning friends and family who sometimes just don’t get it and when I’m feeling that misunderstood, I simply hibernate until I can re-emerge the happy girl that they prefer ~ and they have shamelessly told me that they prefer the happy girl.

What is it about being sad that bothers people, especially when there’s a death, a loss, an illness and many stressors involved?  Is it proper to simply pretend all the time like they do?  That all is honky dory instead of reality?  Being that one dimensional is boring to me and quite utterly superficial.  I’m not a proponent of being sad all the time, but I do allow myself to feel my feelings.  I can’t help it.  I am ME and I am not them.

The older I get, the more I have moved away from such personalities.  I find it hard to believe that being real and actually answering the ‘how are you?’ with a truthful answer, even couched with the positivity that I know things will get better, can be misconstrued to such a degree.  Perhaps with those, it is better to simply say, ‘fine’ and move on as that’s how they’d prefer the answer.  There’s no depth when we answer in a robotic manner when it’s truly not fine.

I have friends and family whom I trust to help when needed and I seek them out.  We share a trust which allows us to help each other on a deeper level.  Fine, just doesn’t cut it with our friendship when the tone of our voices show that things are anything but fine.  We support each other and we allow each other space.  We’ve connected beyond the ‘fine.’

Most of the time, I am ‘fine’ but I like to use more descriptive words ~ happy, healthy, blessed, feeling yippy skippy!  (ok, I just made that up, but you get what I mean!)  But I also know how to self-soothe and reach out when needed.  You know that I love to connect with others, so if you need me, you know I’ll be there for you!  I will hear the un-fine in the word fine and lend an ear, a hand and a heart!

Shine On!

xo

Daily Prompt: I Am a Rock

Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it, or do you prefer to rely only on yourself? Why?

Photographers, artists, poets: show us SELF.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/04/daily-prompt-self/

Daily Prompt ~ Help!

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Your illness does NOT define you.  Your strength and courage DOES.

Helen posted this on her blog the other day and I just had to share it.  Stop by to visit Helen by clicking here!  For you see, anyone with any illness can benefit from these sage words.  It matters not if you have battled breast cancer or not.  It goes for all illnesses, cancers and I believe, even traumatic life experiences.

Your courage defines you.

Your inner strength defines you.

Your decision to survive defines you.

And then sharing your experiences, whether good or bad, in order to help others who are in the throes of the illness, that vulnerability shows extensive courage.  Don’t you think?  For to exhibit weakness is to exhibit strength.  When I show how weakened I was by my breast cancer surgeries, chemotherapy, radiation and the multitude of restless nights filled with worry, when I share how I battled against the odds and I open up to you in order that you may know that we are connected, that you are not alone.  I don’t find that to show my weakness, but in fact, it shows my strength for I am still here, still human, still humbled by what I’ve endured.  I take nothing for granted now.  I am learning to rely on my inner strength to flourish in my life.  I let go of the expectations of others (ok, I’m still working on this one) and I am allowing the freedom to be myself and not conform to what others expectations are of me.  For they’ve not endured my experiences even though some of them may believe that because they have been nearby during my illness that they understand.  But alas, they truly do not.  But you, who have walked in these shoes yourself, you understand and it is to you that I reach out.

Even though I have battled this alone, I am here for you.  Sometimes it is only through connecting with another person who has endured what we have, that we can truly heal and truly understand what we have endured.  I was/am blessed to have many who have helped me along the way.  I only hope to help you as well.

Be courageous.

Be strong.

Connect with others.

Shine On!

xo

Just as I was going to press PUBLISH, I saw the Daily Prompt.  If I could completely devote myself to connecting with others to help them on their journey through illness, I would do it in a second!  So that’s why I added the daily prompt to my otherwise Pink Post!  If anyone knows how I could get someone to take care of my daily responsibilities in order to do this full time with an income, let me know! 🙂 ♥♥♥

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/09/03/daily-prompt-help/

Daily Prompt: Blogger With a Cause

If your day to day responsibilities were taken care of and you could throw yourself completely behind a cause, what would it be?

Daily Post ~ Moved to Tears

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My younger son (not pictured above) went through a stage where he cried ~ a lot!  Things just got to his little heart and he just broke down in tears.  I remember when this stage happened because it felt like he cried daily (which he probably did) and everyone in our family was getting aggravated with him, including me.  But then one day I asked him why he cried so much and he simply said, “It feels good,” and I immediately understood.  Sometimes for me, it just feels good to have a good ol’ cry.  Not a cry of personal pain, just a good cry to clean out the tear ducts.

Have you ever just cried?

I love to watch all types of movies, but some of my favs are the ones which make me cry no matter how many times I watch them.  I thought I’d list them but I can’t think of any except Steel Magnolias which is one that I first saw in the movie theater with my Mom.  I laughed, I cried and I loved along with all of the characters.  Titanic is also a good tearduct cleaner as is Gone With the Wind for me.  All of which I’ve seen numerous times.  Schindler’s List is another which brings out the tissues.

My husband just doesn’t understand why I would watch and rewatch these movies when they come on HBO.  Why would I endure the sadness when I adore being happy?

Why you ask?  Well, sometimes it just feels good to get out of my skin and into the mind of another ~ understand and empathize with their issues ~ connect, cry and then return to my own life.  Refreshed as it were ~ ready to meet my next challenge.

When was the last time you were moved to tears?  You know that I just cried the other day when I had the MRI/MRA tests because I wrote about it here! which by the way, came back as normal as they can so that’s good news.  Yup, I cried when they came back normal too!  Guess the tearducts needed a really good wash out!

Shine On!

xo

Daily Prompt: Moved to Tears

Describe the last time you were moved to tears by something beautiful.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/10/daily-prompt-beauty/