Tag Archive | health

Cancer Changed Me

cancerchangedme

Hope ~ Strength ~ Power ~ Belief ~ Courage ~ Honor ~ Determination

I have been told that cancer changed me.  Indeed, it wasn’t said it in the nicest of ways.  In fact, it was taken as a disparaging comment and I was appalled by the off-hand comment.  My first reaction was to defend myself at the time, to show how cancer didn’t change me.  But I left well-enough alone and decided to say nothing.  However, I was hurt by the retort.

Had cancer really changed me?

The question mulled in my head for days and many sleepless nights, more than I’d like to admit, but it’s true.  I’ve written how cancer changes you enough times in this blog to know that the reality is – YES, cancer changes most of us.  It has to, or we wouldn’t still be here.  For we have seen into the yawning mouth of our own demise, endured the most feared emotions and have come out of it alive, so far.  Looking at your own potential death does change you.

It makes you more aware for the most part.  Some of us now see with finite definition that life is short and there are no guarantees how much time we have on this earth.  We become grateful for the beauty in nature, for the simple pleasures that kindness brings and for a real, loving hug which can cure many ills.  We look to connect with others more because we know what it’s like to feel alone.  We share our stories, encourage each other and find the courage to be who we authentically are!  We smile when we are tired.  We work hard to overcome obstacles and to be there for others, even when we feel depleted.  We take that extra moment to smile and to enjoy goodness when it comes into our lives.  We are grateful for the support that we have been given and we look to support others to continue the flow of goodness.  We share tips to help others and happily receive tips to make our lives easier.

We know that all the money in the world, with all the frivolities are fleeting and really don’t mean a damn when death comes knocking at our door.  It’s that silence between ourselves and our maker (or our beliefs) in the quiet of the night that counts.  It’s regarding peace within as a precious gift, time spent with loved ones and a centered calm in which to retreat when life becomes hard.  It’s the voice within the stillness which speaks of love, gratitude, peace with ourselves and others and God.

Yes, cancer changed me.  That’s for sure.  Perhaps it was the misunderstanding of me that caused this person to spout the ‘dig’ as I took it.  Sometimes it takes a loss for us to be humble and perhaps there will be people who simply never understand.  And that’s ok with me.

I am me, authentically me.  I make mistakes, I ask for forgiveness and I forgive.  I choose to live in a state of peace within when I can, but I am always evolving, ever growing and yet, trying to do all things with love.  I intend to do my best, at any given moment, but I’m human.  I’m a work in progress.  Aren’t we all?

What’s precious to me in my life is love, kindness and connections and I strive every day to live with those three precious gems in my life.  Cancer made me a better person by giving me so many lessons in my life.  I’ve learned so much from cancer, even though I never wanted to endure that disease.  Looking back on my life, I realize that I am who I am today because of cancer.  Even if others don’t understand me, it’s ok now.  I’m at peace and I’m ever grateful for the peace within me.

Shine On!

xo

Loving Someone With Alzheimer’s

 

alzheimersI have two close family members with Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia.  Although we have been walking this path for over two years, the decline is beginning to show the ravages of the disease.  It’s a normal process I’m told that there are declines, progression of the disease and plateaus.  As with many diseases, its course is unpredictable and unfortunately, non-reversible.

I have made many friends through this journey.  Today I was speaking with another daughter of a Mom with Alzheimer’s.  Commiserating about our loved ones’ situations, we found solace in sharing our feelings about the disease without a cure.  A disease which is documented to be exponentially growing in the coming years, with the ability to even touch our own lives since many times, it is genetically carried.

How mind-blowing is that?  Yes, pun intended.

I read other bloggers who are touched by these diseases.  Caretakers, patients as well as doctors who are dedicated to finding a cure and making life better for those afflicted by this disease and their loved ones who wrestle heart-breakingly with the changes that come as the diseases progress.

Of course, I have much empathy and compassion for those who endure this disease, including my loved ones.  How could I not when I see as they move along this path?  I’m not saying it isn’t confusing or frustrating for those who have the diseases because I know that it is and frankly, I fear that it may strike me one day as well.  So I find myself always trying to go with the flow, to assure my loved ones that they are safe, all is well and to make sure that their lives are as lovely as I can make them.  And that sometimes, in itself, is a full time job.

But every once in awhile, there comes a time when it feels unbearable.  To watch a loved one’s mind slip away is heart-wrenching and I feel so incompetent and powerless to make things better for them.  When there come personality changes which may or may not last for long, but still sting because my loved ones perseverate over something or get angry because of something they believe (which may or may not be true), it’s hard to handle.  It’s difficult to manage and to let go of what is being said because in my heart, I know she doesn’t really mean what she is saying as she just doesn’t know because she has this disease.  But the words and the feelings, sting and pierce my heart anyway.  Probably because I still want her to be who I remember fondly and not the grouchy person who is so angry.

It has been said that when the full moon comes, our minds often are affected and surely, with this disease, I have found that theory to be true.  The coming full moon and eclipse may even be a double whammy in memory care facilities world-wide.  Who knows?

In any case, thank you for reading as the road through aging, isn’t for sissies, no matter how old you are!

Shine On!

xo

 

Buddha says…

buddhasays

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,

deserve your love and affection.”

– Buddha

I recently found this quote and found it a helpful reminder to myself, so I thought I’d share it with you.  In the hustle and bustle of life, we sometimes forget to love and nurture ourselves.  With all of the outside responsibilities, we soldier on, leaving ourselves behind.  We need to give ourselves, the same loving attention that we freely give to others.

So today, please do something nice for yourself ~ nurture yourself with a few moments of peace, wrap your arms around yourself and feel the comforting love of kindness.  Breathe in the sweet tranquility and feel yourself awaken to love and affection.

Shine On!

xo

We Are All Souls in Human Form

WeAreAllSoulsinHumanForm

“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience;

we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

– Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

 

We nourish our physical bodies with exercise, nutrition and fashionable clothing.  Amidst the social etiquette of the day, we slather on moisturizers to appear ageless, we cover up what we deem physical flaws and many of us intend to show our best physical selves to the world at large.

We nourish our minds by learning and by exploring knowledge that many of us voraciously seek in order to keep our brains functioning at higher levels.  We read self-help books, we watch motivational videos, we subscribe to uplifting blogs, we communicate with others who are searching for ‘enlightenment’ and we expand our thinking.

But what do we do about our souls, the oft forgotten center of our beings?

Do we attend the church of our choice?  Do we pray?  Do we believe in God, a higher power and Divine Power?  Are we religious?  Or spiritual?  Or both?  Do we carry faith within?  Do we connect with others through our heartlights?  Do we lean outside the conventional box of spiritual thinking?  Do we nourish the soul’s desire for love and forgiveness?  Or do we step aside, turn a blind eye/heart/mind to the Divinity that resides in each of us?

Nourishing our souls is mandatory, but it seems that many do not take the necessary time to explore and to listen to the quiet voice of the soul which is the heart of our experience here on Earth.  We blindly follow the herd of humanity at times, caught up in the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s of life school, not daring to take the time to be present and to feel the presence and connection with our collective souls.

It’s sad for me to watch so many people rushing after the future or repeating the past and forgetting about the present moment which gathers so much love in its presence.  The if only’s haunt our lives, tearing people apart and deepening the ruts of ‘when blank happens, I’ll be happy’, thus forgoing that precious presence of blessing that is in the here and now, for an intangible desire that when we look with loving eyes at the present moment, was here all along and truly was enough.

The soul innately knows that we are enough (perfect, whole and complete) in this present moment, but our Earthly fears drown out the quiet voice which whispers the soul’s desire and message.  Take a few minutes a day to be aware of your soul.  Breathe in the precious present moment, taking in all the love that abounds and exhaling all of the negativity that sometimes feels like it’s beating down your front door.  Nourish your own soul with loving acceptance and send forth love and forgiveness from your own heartlight to shine and to connect with others.  You will notice a difference when you you do this.  Trust me.  Healing is here for you.  Love and light surround you and are within you always.

Be who you are meant to be in this life.  You are worthy.

Shine On!

xo

Palm Reader Channeled ~ Message For Everyone

palmreader

The Daily Prompt today asks the question:    You’re on a long flight, and a palm reader sitting next to you insists she reads your palm.  You hesitate, but agree.  What does she tell you?

When she takes my hands into hers, I feel a slight electric buzz, but knowing I am nervous, I shrug off the coincidence.  But is it a coincidence or is it our energy flowing from one soul to another?  Her hands are warm and dry and I feel mine begin to sweat.  My mind pinballs back and forth between thinking this is just a lark and fearing that she has the capacity to read me.  She knows this as she senses my apprehension and yet my willingness to literally put my palm in hers.

She gazes into my eyes and I decide to relax and go with the flow.  My mind still is alert with worry as I do not know this woman at all.  She is a stranger, but dressed in normal clothing.  But there is something angelic about her that I can’t pin down.  But I am trying to show her that I am not afraid of what she may reveal, yet I am worried that she’ll see into my soul with precision.  I assure myself in my mind that I have nothing to hide, but there is a sense of anxiety buzzing through my body.

“Rest easy, dear one.  This experience will not hurt, but only help you as you wander on your life path,” I hear her say and yet her lips do not move.  For a moment I’m stunned, wondering if she is telepathically speaking to me or if it were my Guardian Angel or God or maybe I’m losing my mind.

She nods ever so slightly as the thoughts fly through my head.  She knows what I am thinking!  Yikes!

Without a sound, she turns my palms over to face her and gently holds my hands with hers.  Nervous energy excites and frightens me at the same time.  She lets out a deep breath as I do as well.  Mine is to expel the pent up nervousness.  I wonder what hers is?  A clearing in order to read me?

She drops her gaze and studies my hands quietly.  I feel myself relax and a warm serenity envelopes me.  It’s as if we are in our own bubble in the world.  She closes her eyes for a few moments and her breathing deepens.  I can feel our energies mixing.  I am willing to allow her to read me.

“What I am about to say, may not make sense to you now, but one day it will.  Your life line is long, but breaks in various places.  You have witnessed deaths and have been a death’s door yourself.”

I nod, not daring to speak.

“You are an empath soul, which means you love completely.  You feel what others do.  You are compassionate and a giver.  This trio causes you much pain and yet reaps much joy for your soul.  You are surrounded by a white light and many lessons.  You are not finished with your journey here yet.  You have much to learn, more to grow and many to teach.  Your spiritual awareness is growing, but you fear the acceptance of this knowledge for it makes you different.  But you are already different from the many people who surround you.  You know this, but it feels solitary at times.  Do not weep dear one, for you are never alone.  Your journey is fraught with emotion, spiritual awakenings and compassionate understanding for yourself and others.  You are tested.  You do not fail, if you believe it to be so.  The key of self-worth, knowing you are perfect, whole and complete in the Lord’s eyes will benefit you so remember who you are.  Do not allow the superficial world to sway you.  You are gifted and you must use your gifts and your power for good.”

We had both been staring at my palms as she spoke quietly, murmuring the reading for my ears only.  In such a soft voice, she continued her reading.

“I see hardship.  I see tears.  I see betrayal.  I see forgiveness.  I see love.  I see light.  I see your Divine Purpose coming to fruition as you grow, learn and accept.  I see acknowledgement, acceptance and spiritual understanding increasing day by day.  Do not be content, but strive to learn, to grow, to universally connect with others.  You will be taught and you will teach, that is the give and take of this lifetime.”

I began to choke back the tears that were falling rapidly from my eyes, running down my cheeks with alarming abandon.  My nose was feeling drippy, but I hesitated to break the spell.

“Look with favor on this chosen path.  Allow yourself the freedom to be yourself, to speak from your heart and to allow others to hear what they choose.  Be one with the Spirit of the Divine.  You are human.  Mistakes are made, but the angelic reminders of your life will remain in small moments of the memory of others.  Do not be afraid of financial gain.  Put it to good use in order to spread peace with others.  Connect with your blessings.  Begin again without fear.  Remind yourself often that each day begins a new dawn full of possibility.  Live to your fullest ability for we know not our expiration date.  Be kinder to yourself and others.  Err on the side of love for that is where your strength lies.  Meditate.  Visit Mother Nature daily.  Pray.  Sing.  Patience, dear one.  Time reveals your golden path.”

Sniffling and trying not to gross her out, I began breathing deeply, as the sadness which had overwhelmed me by her words faded away gently without warning.  She turned my hands over, clasping them in hers with a warm, long hold and then released my hands.  My fingers fumbled through my purse immediately to find a tissue to sop up the wet mess that was my face and nose.  She turned slightly in her seat to face the front of the plane, laid her hands in her lap and closed her eyes.  I didn’t dare disturb her.  Blowing my nose with embarrassed gusto, tissue after tissue, I dried my face, setting myself back in order.

As I leaned back into my seat again, I peeked over, but she was motionless, eyes still closed.  I turned my head to look out the window at the sky.  The most gorgeous rainbow I have ever seen appeared as if by magic.  A smile grew on my lips as a warm sense of serenity spread throughout my body.  I eagerly watched as the rainbow faded away as miraculously as it had appeared.  I closed my eyes and fell into a gentle sleep.

I awoke to her nudging me as I felt the plane’s wheels hit the runway at our destination.  She smiled at me, looking into my eyes and without moving her lips I heard, “This was my gift to you, dear one.  I am as grateful as you are to connect and to have had this experience.  Share it with others.  Remember you are never alone.  You are loved.”

The pilot broke the reverie with his announcement that we could begin to deboard and in an instant, she was gone.  I don’t think I ever said much to her.  I began to berate myself for never even uttering the word thank you while she was here as I was so mesmerized by her aura.  Whispering to her spirit, I said, “Thank you my friend,” and I heard her voice reply, “You are most welcome.”

Shine On!

xo

Our Lives Are All Different and Yet The Same

ourlivesarealldifferentandyetthesameWe all live with the objective of being happy;

our lives are all different and yet the same.

~ Anne Frank

I believe this bears repeating.

The Objective Of Being Happy

Shine On!

xo

Be the Observer In Your Own Life

betheobserverinyourownlife

Observation, like meditation, takes practice.  It’s easy to be caught up in the chaotic routine of our own lives, enmeshed in emotions, ego and struggling with the ‘shoulds’ that we place in front of ourselves.  To sit quietly and reflect can be a tiresome task to some whose brains are routinely busy.  But all the same, it is a good practice to help in healing body, mind, heart and soul.  We are bombarded daily with reminders to exercise, to eat right and to get enough sleep.  But in our busy lives, we somehow forgo the benefits of quiet time and refuse to settle our minds to simply ‘be’ in the stillness for a few moments.  We feel that we don’t have enough time.  We delay the stillness for other tasks which we deem to be more important.

How do you define stillness?

For me, stillness is sanctuary.  It’s a few moments when I can simply be with myself, notice how I feel, and check with my body for any nervous energy which may signify something is off in my heart, mind, soul, or being.  Stillness is about appreciating the moment, keeping in mind how grateful I am for this day, for the connections I’ve made and for The Presents of Presence which I enjoy.  Stillness is observance of my attitude, my actions/inactions, my day, my dealings with others and my connections with myself and others during the day.  It is without judgment.  It is in truth for good or bad.  It is with acceptance for mistakes made and praise for what is.

There are 24 hours in a day, which for some is not enough for all the ‘shoulds’ that they have listed in their heads that need to be accomplished.  I understand work, children, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping and taking care of everyone is important.  But what about you?  Taking care of you in the smallest ways is important as well.

Just as we squeeze in exercise, eating right and trying to sleep long enough, we need to squeeze in a few moments of peace in our busy worlds.  It may surprise you the amount of benefits we reap when we sow gratitude, stillness and connection to ourselves.

Do you take a few moments a day to connect with yourself?  How do you fit stillness into your day?

Shine On!

xo