Tag Archive | healing your heart

Miraculous Moment

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Sweet Sam and me after our first trot together!

I had a miraculous moment with Sam recently.  I hadn’t been riding in awhile and when I got back in the saddle on Sam, I needed a few minutes to remember.  You know what I mean?  Literally, I had to get my frame of mind back on the horse.  Pardon the puns, but they were so easy! LOL

I began my lesson as per usual, walking and guiding Sam around the paddock.  Keeping my heels down, body upright and core tightened as I took my cues from my instructor Sasha.  After a nice warmup, I could feel the tension in my hands still, but because it was chilly, I figured it was just me, which it was – me – still not trusting myself enough nor Sam.  So Sasha gave me a surprise which I can only liken to opening a big unexpected present on Christmas morning – and you know how much I love Christmas morning!

Sasha took away all of my control.  Putting Sam on a lead and taking away my reins, we rode in circles.  Holding on to the saddle for dear life at first and getting my balance.  I admit, I was scared.  Then Sasha had me let go of one hand on the saddle.  Deep breath in, I released my right hand and put it out beside me.  I wobbled at first, still walking in circles and then Sasha commanded both hands.  Deep breath in, exhaled and let go.  We went through a series of exercises all the while I was riding without reins and feeling more and more comfortable in my saddle on Sam.  He was a perfect gentleman and it clicked!  Suddenly it was like – I got this!  I’m utterly, wonderfully comfortable sitting on this sweet horse and I felt as if we were one!  It was such a miraculous feeling of profound centeredness and tranquility and euphoria!  Giggling with child-like wonder, I proudly sat up straight, fully comfortable in the saddle in that special moment with a big happy grin on my face as we bonded!

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Triumphantly Sam and I are bonding!  Look Ma!  No hands!

Sasha then informed me that we were going to trot a bit.  My heart leapt at the exciting prospect, but a little anxiety crept in.  I knew in my heart that I had full trust in both Sasha and Sam, so I agreed (not like Sasha would have let me back out though which is what I really like about her!)

Hands back on the saddle and Sam began to trot in a circle and with sheer delight, I was euphoric!  In a big wave of gratitude, my soul was flying, bonded with Sam.  As one, we trotted for the first time together in a circle!  We slowed to walk again and I rested my hands on my thighs to show Sasha my newfound balance.  Then we trotted again and I was on Cloud 9!    A first for me in so many ways as a wave of healing engulfed me.  Perhaps you won’t understand, but it was like a clearing for me in many ways, both personal and relative to my life.  It was as if all the debris of past broken trust had been swept away and a newness full of hope and utterly centered healing trust was returned to me.  Trust in myself, trust in Sam and Sasha and finally, trust in God and in the Universe!

Words can’t describe the feelings I’ve had since that moment and perhaps I sound silly to you, but to me it was a miraculous moment that I wanted to remember, so I am blogging about it.

After my lesson, Sam and I bonded for awhile.  Nuzzling and talking with him afterwards was so lovely.  It was as if we understood each other.  I gave him treats as he snuggled into me.  Even after I returned him to his stall, I was hesitant to leave him and I think he was enjoying me too as instead of going to eat, he stayed at the doorway, letting me know in no uncertain terms that he wanted to continue our time together.  So, I hung around with him, talking and petting his velvet face with him affectionately snuggling into me and making me laugh with his antics!

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Sam had me giggling when I took the photo and accidentally cropped myself out! But see his sweet face? Pure love!

When I left the barn, I walked to my car happily as I usually do, but there was a knowing in me that I haven’t felt in a long time.  When I got to the gate of the farm to leave, my trusty horse friends were there to greet me.  But even they were warmer with their welcomes.  It was as if telepathically Sam had told them of our riding experience.  I ended up spending extra time petting them too, reluctant to leave these amazing creatures whose love was filling my soul with peace and trust.

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One of the ‘gatekeepers’ – I don’t know this guy’s name, but he is so affectionate! All he wanted was for me to keep petting his velvet nose and talk with him! He kept following me!

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Here’s sweet Ely who always greets me when I arrive at the gate to the farm. He couldn’t get enough petting yesterday either – and frankly neither could I!

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Mr. Chips is more timid, but he too was interested in getting some affection yesterday before I left!

I remind myself that healing comes when we are ready to embrace it and that Divine Timing has all the answers.  We just have to be open to the opportunities of letting go and letting God and the Universe to help us to heal.  Mother Nature’s creatures innately help us when we trust and have faith.

Thanks for reading my post today.  I know I was long-winded and maybe not even making sense to you, but to me, it was a profoundly important moment that I wanted to share.

Shine On!

xo

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You Can’t Make Someone Love You

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Once I was told, “You can’t make someone love you,” and a surging feeling of sadness enveloped me at that very moment.  I struggled to understand what she meant by the seemingly offhanded comment.  If my heart is so full of love for someone, why couldn’t they love me?  It seemed preposterous at the time for I truly believed that love could conquer all problems.

But in this case, I found her words to ring true.

My love could not conquer all problems.  Without love on both sides and a willingness to listen, to speak honestly and to be vulnerable, there is no healing or reconciliation.  Relationships can be messy as I’ve learned, although truthfully, I’ve known this for a long time.  Haven’t you?  There’s that old adage of “he said, she said,” which really means “he thinks, she thinks” and there’s little middle ground to forge a bridge between them when both sides don’t listen and share, give and take, and do so without keeping score.

It’s been a life long lesson for me that I am still learning, albeit slowly.  Behind my rose-colored glasses there’s a girl who still believes in love and who still loves with her whole heart.  Another friend once told me that my heart breaks open wider because I love with my whole heart and that most people do not open themselves up that wide and with so much vulnerability.  I felt sad, but I can only be who I am.  Innately, I love with my whole heart and truly, I have had that heart broken wide open, shattered beyond recognition.

But in slowly gathering up the pieces, one by one, holding each piece of my heart tenderly, I’ve put my heart back together.  I’ve restored my soul and chosen to live my life again, with whole-warmheartedness, continuing to love with my whole heart and not just with the broken pieces that I took time to mold back together again.

There are those whom I’ve met, who have been wounded to the core of their beings and they vow that they will never love again that way.  I understand the feeling of needing protection and of guarding our hearts.  Feeling broken-hearted is utterly painful and as humans, we try to safeguard ourselves from pain in every moment.  But there is something precious in loving with our whole hearts, that I can’t let go of, as I believe it is innate with me, a part of me that still believes in love.

I agree that we can’t make someone love us, but we can still love them.  Obviously not in the stalker way, but with a small piece of peace in our hearts.  Love their essence, love that part of them you once treasured, love the memories of your entwined journey that were beautiful.  Let go of the past.  Move forward into the light.  You can survive a broken heart with grace and dignity.  Allow your heartlight to shine radiantly as you move forward in peace.  A loving heart like ours never dies.  Our heartlights may dim for a bit, but love is a precious gift that we give to ourselves and we give to others.  Let your heart be full of love.

Shine On!

xo

The More You Know…

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“The more a man knows, the more he forgives.”
~ Empress Catherine the Great

We all have a story in our heads about our lives.  Past hurts, triumphs and emotions mesh into our psyche, nestling in like the hibernating squirrels in the trees in Winter.  The challenge is to push forward out of our own minds to see what’s out there beyond our vision and to see relationships as they truly are and not how we perceive them.  It is momentous to look beyond our own limits and to actually see the world around us, to acknowledge faults and goodness, to take stock of our lives and the path which we are treading.  At any moment we can choose to change course, turn around, veer to the left or right or simply walk into the woods.  That is the beauty of free will that we have been given in this life.  There is nothing in stone that says we need to stay cemented on the path we have chosen.  It is only our reluctance to see beyond the walls we have erected, the stories we have embellished and the situation that we encounter.  To expand our vision, we must reach out of the box which we have allowed to imprison our minds and to look around at all which spherically encompasses us.  To be sure, this is not a linear life we’ve been given.

It is not an easy choice for some and I understand.  To see beyond ourselves is an emotional and sometimes tumultuous task for it causes us to look honestly at our faults and goodness ~ to accept and to forgive ourselves and others.  But once we open our eyes to truth, we can move on and see the world in a different light.  That is the beauty of knowledge and forgiveness.

Eyes, heart, mind and soul opened allows healing when we are hurting.  To stay blind to our lives is only to perpetuate the grief, the hurts and the sadness.  To embrace all that we have endured, to take ownership of our lives is to start on the path of healing.  But it takes a willingness to listen with an open heart and not a stony one.  It takes softening, caring and wanting to change the path we are on and not be simply a traveler without voice.

This is your life.  This is my life.  Together we can immerse ourselves in a loving embrace or we can take separate paths to happiness.  It is a choice made together or apart.  But each has their own choice, their own reality and their own willingness to not quit.  I choose to see life in a spherical way ~ listening, learning, thinking, feeling and forgiving.  It is a choice I make daily, sometimes I find I need to make that choice many times a day.  But I do it because it is worth it to me to be present every moment of every day that I am here.

Life is about changing, growing and releasing what doesn’t serve us.  Go forward on your path with love in your heart, forgiveness in your mind and blessings on your soul.

Shine On!

xo

How to Find Peace

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“Peace is to be found only within, and unless one finds it there
he will never find it at all. Peace lies not in the external world.
It lies within one’s own soul.” – Ralph W. Trine

Peace, Stillness, Sanctuary, Self-Love are all ways in which we can find peace within our souls.  But it is we who must do the work in order to find the inner peace which we already have in our souls.  Peace is not something outside of us, but a divine present which we inherently hold deep within us.  We only need to tap into it in order to feel the fruits of the divine.  It is through stillness which isn’t always still, that we are lead to that place of understanding and self-awareness.  I am a seeker of my own peace within, slowly winding my way, piece by peace, taking baby steps on an unmarked path to my soul.  I am blessed to have connected with others who hold out their hands for me to hold, to follow, who willingly walk this path on my life’s journey.  Hearts open wide as they help to lift my tired wings as I learn to fly.  My soul rejoices with every step I take, even when at times, I may stumble backwards.  I may fall, but I get up, ever vigilant, ever optimistic, ever yearning for the Presents of Presence.

May you find peace within you,

today and everyday.

Shine On!

xo