Above is a moving video of a special horse who brings healing to those in France. Take a moment and feel the peace within spreading the smile on your face – especially when the patient and horse touch their heads together.
This is how I feel when I ride – an incredible peace and healing washes over me – especially when after riding, my horse and I snuggle similarly. It’s a precious shared moment of connection! It ignites my heartlight!
Shine On!
xo
Dear Parents,
As a former teacher, I’m writing to you from the heart. As a parent myself, and a former teacher and as a humanitarian, yes, I’m going to suggest how you parent your sweet children. You may choose to tune out here and click off my letter or maybe you just might want to read what I have to say to see if it resonates with you.
Let me begin by telling you I am not the perfect parent, teacher nor humanitarian. Not by a long shot am I perfect. But I feel the need to tell you honestly what I’m seeing and it’s not pretty dear friends. You may or may not be aware of it, but it’s there – that wounded spot between you and your child. You know the one I mean. You sense it because you know that he’s mad with you and you feel guilty for whatever you’ve not done. Or maybe you’re really as clueless about it as you seem. But I don’t buy it. I think you know, but you’re afraid to touch that wounded part of your child and yourself.
Example: You are busy with work, your family, your life and all that’s around you. You live in a tizzy of busy because you are doing the best you can to provide for your family, to work at your career, to be a good wife/husband, to parent, to raise your family and maybe even take care of your own parents as well. You’re stressed beyond words and everyone knows it. You are doing the best you can and I applaud you. But I know you’re not happy because that wound rears its ugly head when it comes to your child.
You feel guilty because your child is wounded by you. There, let’s speak plainly. What you say, how you react, what you don’t say or don’t do, has built up a laundry list in your child’s mind to feel wounded by you. What’s worse is that you think that what he holds against you may be true and if you had more time, if you weren’t working, if you didn’t have so many children, etc., you’d not have made those mistakes. You’ve got a litany of excuses and guilt that he doesn’t want to hear. But you’re not telling him that anyway. You’re living with the wound yourself and it’s festering in your daily interactions with him. It’s like a runaway train which at every non-stop at a station, gets worse and the momentum of hurt builds.
You must be willing to change in order for you and your child to begin to rebuild your relationship. I’ve found that honesty works well here as it almost always does when it comes to communication between people, be it parent/child relationships or for that matter, any relationship between people. Open communication is key. Taking the quiet opportunity when there’s not a lot of stress involved between you, makes it easier for each person to hear what the other person is saying. Blame is not an option here so don’t bring it into the conversation. Explain clearly what you expect from your child and what he can expect from you. Show examples of when he was successful and when you were as well and highlight the times when you worked together and succeeded at a common goal. Remind him of the fun times together and let him know how you miss that connection with him. Tell him plainly how you miss that connection and how you would like to reconnect and ask him for advice. Let him tell you what he needs from you and you can do the same. Be on the same page as a team. Keep the dialogue open and be ready to hear how he feels even if it’s hard. It may take a few conversations before he will open up, but most teenagers want to reconnect because they need you as much as you need them. But you need to set the example for that give and take trusting conversation and not react to anything he says that you may not like. You need to be the grownup and own how what’s happened makes him feel, especially when you may find it hitting too close to home. It’s hard to accept when your teenager tells you the truth as he sees it and you may have to accept that he’s right and not give excuses as to why you did whatever it is that you did. This is not to say that you need to take all the blame and guilt here either, for it’s a two way street in any relationship. But in giving your child the opportunity to speak his mind respectfully, just as it will be when you are given the same opportunity, allows for healing to begin.
It takes time to repair wounds for anyone, but especially that parent/child relationship as it sets the stage for his future relationships. Even the most wounded of us wants peace and forgiveness and to feel loved and respected. I don’t think it’s ever too late to try, for you never know when you may succeed.
Relationships fall apart over time and don’t always heal quickly. But with patience and kindness we can repair and reconnect with others in the most miraculous of ways. It takes a commitment to reconnect, but I’ve found that it’s so well-worth it when we do!
Work on making your home a safe and loving environment where family means that we love each other and that we work together for the common good and love that binds us. You role model that in your home – peace, love, kindness – so foster it in every moment!
Be kind to yourself, dear parent. Sometimes life just happens the way it does, but that doesn’t mean we can’t improve our relationships with effort on both parts. If you really feel disconnected from your child, make the effort and if it’s not too late, you may be surprised at the amazing relationship that comes out of your opening up the conversation to reconnect in the first place!
Shine On!
xo
For years, the cacophony in my head about all the woulda, coulda, shoulda’s reigned. Due to circumstances in my life, there wasn’t a lot of me time allotted in my day. I put what I wanted to do on the back burner while I helped others. My life was turned upside down with a series of deaths, divorce, illness and trying to get through the days.
I have always wanted to learn to horseback ride. For years, my sons and I would drive past the horse farms and I would routinely say how much I wanted to learn to ride. I tried getting them to go on a trail ride with me, but neither had any interest.
Now that things in my life are steadier, I finally decided to do something for me that I had been wanting to do for a long time. Yesterday, I had my first lesson with Charlie the horse.
I was nervous at first. Horses in my mind were these beautiful gentle souls, but not so big! As you can see in the photo, he’s much bigger than me, which at first, was a little daunting. As it was, to brush his mane, I had to get up on tiptoes!
Sharing the love with Charlie
I think Charlie likes ‘cookies’ as much as I do!
I realized afterwards how much I haven’t been living my life to its fullest potential. I was staying small and not trying what I really wanted to do. Although I only walked Charlie yesterday, it was a good, healing, connecting start to a new chapter in my life.
The barn atmosphere was lovely. The people I met were kind, accepting and helpful. I felt a peace within when I left after my first lesson. It’s as if a soul healing has begun in me that is deeper than I’ve felt in a long time. I’m so grateful for the whole experience and I can’t wait for my next lesson!
I hope you won’t mind if I post occasionally about my Charlie. Yes, he’s my Charlie now. Like me, he’s had some hard times in the past. He has scars that are healing too. He’s not as young as he used to be, but he has a big ole heart and is open to friendship.
Any horse peeps out there? I’m obviously a newbie so please feel free to share any tips, advice, experiences because I’m all ears!
What a lovely way to spend a Sunday afternoon with Charlie!
Shine On!
xo
When we have storms in our lives, we choose how we face them. With fear, we can run and hide, hoping that it will blow over. We can close our eyes and remain oblivious to them and not deal with the storm which is staring us right in the face. Or we can slowly open our eyes and work our way through the clouds, through the storms and into the sunshine.
Storms shake up our world, our views, our relationships and our sense of self. Like gardeners who prune their plants in order to shed what isn’t growing, in our lives, storms do the same. Storms blow over in time. Allowing the storm its time to shake us up is a good thing I think. It causes us to deal with our fears, to move forward into solid thinking and to find balance where perhaps there was none. We’re usually on shaky ground when the storm hits and we feel its full impact when we are not balanced with inner peace. That’s when the fear emerges and we choose fight or flight. But those aren’t the only two options. The third option is to ride out the storm. I think that’s the hardest option, but the most beneficial for our spiritual growth.
Riding out the storm takes courage. It takes facing the storm, allowing it to roll in and bluster around us. It causes us to find our balance, dig our roots in deeper and take a deep breath in order to stay in the eye of the storm. To know, with full knowledge, that we can ride out the storm, grow from its affects and emerge with our heartlight intact, facing the sunshine.
It’s not easy. It’s a choice. It’s holding our inner peace while the storm rages. It’s a process. It’s not always forward moving through the storm. Sometimes it’s like dancing a cha cha, moving backwards and forwards until staying in the same place isn’t feasible to us anymore and then we make the choice to step forwards towards the sunshine ~ or step backwards to return to the darkness of the past. It’s letting go of what was, what could be and allowing ourselves to find inner peace simply with what is.
It’s natural to feel alone in a storm. That’s when we reach out to our soul family for a loving embrace, a hand to hold, a loving connection which helps us to hold onto the knowledge that there is sunshine on the horizon, even when we can’t see through the clouds, the thunder and the lightning. It helps when they can hold the vision with us so that if we take a step back into the storm, we are fortified with the kind reminder that there is sunshine when we move forward.
So if you are riding out a storm in your life, please know that there are others who care. Eventually we all have storms in our paths, some are big dangerous lightning-filled storm clouds, filled with big raindrops and clanging thunder that sweep us off of our feet and toss our realities, changing them forever. Some storms, simply shake us up so that we can see with the help of the lightning, be cleansed by the rain and hear the words of reality before the sun rises. Either way, I think storms are good in the end. They are a chance to grow, to find balance and to fortify our inner wisdom and peace.
Storms let us choose to grow or to remain sodden. Face the sunshine dear friends. Storms only last as long as you allow them. You always stop crying eventually. So feel your storm, find your center heartlight, bless your loving essence and once the storm moves on, your balance, your strength and your beautiful soul will regain its momentum and begin to shine again.
Shine On!
xo
This is an old tree in Savannah, Georgia, draped with Spanish moss. To many, it might not be pretty, but to me, it is exquisite. I guess that’s just the way I see things ~ do you see things that way too? Do you delight in the mundane ~ finding beauty in what most people would consider ordinary? I feel that it’s a gift I’ve been given to see the world in this way and I am blessed to find many companions through blogging who feel the same way. Sometimes I feel as if we are expanding our circle of connections exponentially daily which delights me. The simple words, “I understand” bring great comfort and connection. Just like when we can ‘see’ the beauty in each other and all around us.
Thank you for allowing me to touch your Saturday with my blog. I truly hope you feel the loving embrace of the Universe surrounding you in all that you do today and always. May you find peace within and about you. May you err on the side of kindness and may your smile brighten many lives today and always. You are truly a gift. I can see your beauty. Can you?
Shine On!
xo
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