Tag Archive | happiness

It’s Been 15 Years and I’m Still Here!

15years

Fifteen years ago today, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  At times, it seems as if it were yesterday.  At others, it seems a lifetime ago.  But as any cancer survivor knows, we never forget the diagnosis which begins this journey.

So today, I celebrate with gratitude the triumph of still being here to enjoy my life with my children.  Even though I celebrate this milestone alone today, I have many angels in my life to whom I look with loving gratitude for all that they have done for me throughout the years.  I hold dearly those memories of loving support and kindness which were gifted to me.  Indeed, sometimes it takes a village.

My life has changed by leaps and bounds since that fateful day.  I’ve overcome 10 + surgeries, chemotherapy, baldness, radiation and countless scares that the cancer had returned.  I’ve loved and lost and let go.  But what remains is my faith, my courage and my choice to stay here and fight for my life.

I’ve learned so many lessons by enduring cancer, ones that perhaps I wish I’d never learned, but yet I am grateful all the same.

So on this New Year’s Eve Day, please celebrate with me as I celebrate with you.  Cheers with gratitude to the lessons learned in the past 15 years and cheers to another year filled with light, love, health, prosperity and happiness for all!

Shine On!

xo

The Layers of Now

thelayersofnow

The Layers of Now

Being present is what I yearn to be, although like many others, I teeter-totter in the realm of past rememberings or anticipating future fears of what’s to come.  It’s a fine line between the past, the present and the future.  One sharp word can trigger a memory and I’m conjuring up past wounds, beliefs and heartbreak.  One kind word and I’m breathing deeply in the present moment, finding my center of peace.  One anxious word and I’m fearing the uncharted territory of the future.

So where does one go?

Into The Layers of Now!

The Layers of Now is how I’ve found peace within me during chaotic times of trouble which seem to gather around me lately like thunderclouds sweeping in during a summer storm.  I don’t know if I can explain what I’m doing so that it will make sense to you, but I will try.

Simply put, I consciously try with all of my might,

to layer my present moment of presence.

If I need to cha cha into the past, I take a few steps back, rock forward to the present moment and repeat as necessary until the dance becomes obscured by the smile on my face as the music trills in my head, because I have changed my tune.  I drop what wounds I held onto as they don’t serve me anymore.  I allow the knowledge that we are all here together, doing the best we can to remind me that I am not without mistakes either.  I forgive the past, remember what I have endured and face the present with peace in my heart.

If I need to face the future, I step up, then rock back to the present and repeat as necessary.  Never actually staying in the future for it is certainly uncertain at this point, but also, never losing sight of the solidity of the present moment.  Thus I can grow my presents of presence.

Then, when I need to feel present in all the glory or chaos that is this very moment, I step to the side, into observer mode, facing my fears, my angst, euphoria and sadness with the magnitude of a maestro layering the chorus of past/present/future into a hit song that encompasses it all!  I stand by, not engaging, but simply looking with gratitude for all the facets of my life, no matter where they may be, past, present, future, happy, sad, uncertain and I just envelope them in my heart as the layers of now and rejoice, for I am here to experience and connect each and every emotion and feeling.

I am here,

to witness my life as it is right now with gratitude.

*

I am here,

to remember how far I have come from my past with gratitude.

*

I am here,

to open my heart, mind and soul,

to welcome with arms outstretched,

the unseen experiences that may come my way on my future path.

All at the same time.

Connecting…The Layers of Now.

Shine On!

xo

 

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/layers/

 

 

Buddha says…

buddhasays

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,

deserve your love and affection.”

– Buddha

I recently found this quote and found it a helpful reminder to myself, so I thought I’d share it with you.  In the hustle and bustle of life, we sometimes forget to love and nurture ourselves.  With all of the outside responsibilities, we soldier on, leaving ourselves behind.  We need to give ourselves, the same loving attention that we freely give to others.

So today, please do something nice for yourself ~ nurture yourself with a few moments of peace, wrap your arms around yourself and feel the comforting love of kindness.  Breathe in the sweet tranquility and feel yourself awaken to love and affection.

Shine On!

xo

Awaken and Renew

awakenandrenew

It’s been raining here for awhile now.  The days grow dreary when rain settles into our lives.  But the sunshine awoke today, gloriously in the blue sky and the trees are sprouting from the rains.  As rain falls, it nourishes and sunshine renews and awakens love everywhere.

May you find rebirth, renewal and beautiful awakenings today in the small miraculous gifts that we witness when we simply look up to the sky and are grateful for what is.

Happy Monday!

May you shine your heartlight this week!

Shine On!

xo

Happy Mother’s Day

happymother'sday

To all of the Moms out there who mother, cuddle, protect and love,

To all of the children out there who are mothered, cuddled, protected and loved,

To all those who through friendship, mother their friends,

I am grateful for you.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written on my blog.  But today, I am reaching out with my heartlight to connect with each and every one of you, to let you know that I am thinking of you.  To all of you who are mothers, and to all of you who have been mothered and to all of the women who mother others, I send you peace, love and nurturing.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Shine On!

xo

Lucky You

luckyyou

Do you believe in luck?

Full Definition of luck by Merriam-Webster is:

  1. 1 a :  a force that brings good fortune or adversity

  2. b :  the events or circumstances that operate for or against an individual

Curiously, I believe in luck and yet, I don’t, which is a conundrum on St. Patrick’s Day even though I have a smidgen of Irish in me.  I believe in fate.  I believe in free will.  I believe in karma.  I believe in the ability to change our ways of thinking in order to change our lives.  I believe in angelic help.

And I believe in you…and I believe in me.

What do you believe?  Have you ever sat for a moment to ponder your beliefs, to write them out and then peruse them?  Do they still stand stoically rooted in your childhood beliefs as they were downloaded to you from your past or have they changed over time, expanding the limits to an expanse of limitlessness?

Beliefs from childhood can be limiting or limitless depending on our circumstances and what is downloaded to us from our parental figures and from those whom we looked up to as children.  As we grow, we learn and expand our thinking or we can stay stuck in those beliefs that were given to us from the start.  It’s a choice to see ourselves as limited or limitless.  It’s a work in progress as we develop our mindset to raise our personal vibration in the world at large.

Perhaps it’s that old adage of seeing the glass 1/2 empty or 1/2 full or with gratitude for even having a glass.  Today in honor of feeling lucky, I’d love to hear from you.  Are you lucky?  Do you believe in luck?  What do you believe?

Lucky you, you can choose your thinking!

Shine On!

xo

 

Out of the Mouth of Alzheimer’s

outofthemouthofalzheimers

Recently I had a precious moment with a loved one who has Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia.  It came quite unexpectedly as our phone conversation was in the evening which usually brings sundowners for her which means she can become more easily confused.

But on this evening, the woman who spoke to me was a voice from my past, her voice quiet but firm, yet with a softness for which I had hungered for a long time.  My Aunt spoke with me and I sat ready listening with my heart.

At first, I thought that we would just chat, I would make her giggle and then having connected in the only way she has been able, we would say our goodbye and requisite, ‘I love you,’ at the end of the conversation.  But instead, I received a gift that we shared.

She told me that she was happy that I could understand her as it had been hard on her for a long time.  “Words don’t seem to come to me,” she explained in a resigned voice.  “And I can’t say what I want for I don’t know what I want to say.  It’s been a long time since I was able to be understood.”

I waited patiently, stunned by her admission ~ for the last few years, we haven’t been able to have this type of conversation because she simply hasn’t been able to share how she’s feeling.  Words to even express pain weren’t readily available to her, instead a grimace gave us the inkling that something was wrong.

“It’s like I can see the words, but I can’t reach them.  I get confused easily and then everything vanishes.  My brain just refuses to work like I want it to anymore.  I think that I want to say something and then the thought is gone and I just can’t remember what it was.”

I listened with my heart and felt through the phone her ability at that moment to tell me what was going on with her.  She was strengthened by sharing with me and I am ever grateful that we had that time of lucidity together for it had been a long while.

We had a few giggles as elder sisters can when we talk about our younger siblings.  We’ve always had that bond and it was strengthened for a few minutes during our conversation.  In the end, her sister was getting antsy to talk with me, so she explained that she would give the phone back to ‘the baby’ (aka baby sister) and we giggled.

She thanked me for always talking with her and for being her niece.  She told me that she was glad we had a chance to talk and that she knew we may not be able to talk like this again.  I promised to continue to try to translate for her when the words didn’t come easily again.  I could hear us smiling together as she said, “I love you.  I love you with my whole heart.  Please remember that,” and I repeated the same back to her.

She handed the phone off to her baby sister and the moment was over.  When I hung up the phone, tears continued rolling down my face for I knew, in my heart, I had just been given a precious gift which I would never forget.

There was no pity party invite when she told me what was happening with her and how aware she was at that moment in time that words, thoughts, and understanding escape her.  She didn’t ask why.  She didn’t make excuses.  She only wanted to share with me how she felt and I was there, a ready listener to receive her message.  A true moment ~ The Presents of Presence. ♥

And isn’t that what life is all about?  Being there to listen and connect with a kind, loving heartlight?

Shine On!

xo