Tag Archive | funeral

My Friend Lost Her Mom

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A friend of mine’s Mom recently passed away.  Today is the funeral.  It will be hard to say goodbye to a sweet, kind woman who lovingly raised her  family and whom I knew well.

When we lose a parent, no matter the relationship, it’s hard.  On many levels, it’s complicated and the tears that fall are mixed with so many emotions.  Even though we may know that the end is coming, it is still seemingly a shock to us when it happens and we’re left broken.  Even when one can say, She lived a good life and it was time for her to go home to God, it doesn’t change the fact that she has passed away and is no longer here on earth.  I don’t like to hear that saying.  I can’t help myself.  I know people mean well when they say it, but it still just feels wrong to me for some sensitive reason that I don’t think I can actually name.

I’ve lost a parent so I understand and now at this age, other friends have lost parents as well.  So we have formed a group of parentless adult children who are helping each other to endure the sadness.  We support each other.  We hug with the understanding of how it feels.  We help each other through the hard times.

Isn’t that what life is about?

Hug your loved ones today please…

Shine On!

xo

 

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Moving Up The Family Tree

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As we age, I imagine we move up in the family tree.  As babies, we begin at the root of the family tree with our parents and other family members protecting us as we grow.  As we get older, we begin to branch off as our own limbs on the family tree and when/if we should marry and have children of our own, we develop our own branches off of our family trunk of love.

As the family tree increases, peopled with loving connections, it grows.  New branches and connections are formed to increase the tree’s size.  At mid-life though, something happens.  We begin to be in the middle or higher branches of the tree.  No longer are we one of the younger whipper-snappers, but we are now parents, aunts, uncles, and maybe even grandparents and we rise in the tree.  No longer are we establishing our branches.  We are expanding them with offshoots by our own family increasing in size.

When my father died, I was too grief-stricken to feel the shift that happened.  But I feel it now.  We’ve recently had a cousin of my Dad’s generation pass away.  No longer am I a child, but an adult, and I feel it’s my duty to represent our family limb in the passing of a beloved family member from another of the tree’s offshoots.

I guess it’s the way life progresses, but it was an eye-opening moment for me when I realized that I’m nearing the upper echelon of the tree.  I’m grateful that I’m a part of such a lovely family tree and I’m honored to be a part of the rising branches within our family tree.

Are you feeling that change in the generations too?  I guess as we age or under certain circumstances, we become the older generation, ready to nurture the younger ones as time goes by.  It’s all a part of the cycle of life.

Shine On!

xo

 

Thanks For Your Time!

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“Thanks for Your Time” 

Over the phone, his mother told him, “Mr. Belser died last night. The funeral is Wednesday.” Memories flashed through his mind like an old newsreel as he sat quietly remembering his childhood days.

“Jack, did you hear me?”

“Oh, sorry, Mom. Yes, I heard you. It’s been so long since I thought of him. I’m sorry, but I honestly thought he died years ago,” Jack said.

“Well, he didn’t forget you. Every time I saw him he’d ask how you were doing. He’d reminisce about the many days you spent over ‘his side of the fence’ as he put it,” Mom told him.

“I loved that old house he lived in,” Jack said.

“You know, Jack, after your father died, Mr. Belser stepped in to make sure you had a man’s influence in your life,” she said.

“He’s the one who taught me carpentry,” he said. “I wouldn’t be in this business if it weren’t for him. He spent a lot of time teaching me things he thought were important. Mom, I’ll be there for the funeral,” Jack said.

As busy as he was, he kept his word. Jack caught the next flight to his hometown. Mr. Belser’s funeral was small and uneventful. He had no children of his own, and most of his relatives had passed away.

The night before he had to return home, Jack and his Mom stopped by to see the old house next door one more time.

Standing in the doorway, Jack paused for a moment. It was like crossing over into another dimension, a leap through space and time. The house was exactly as he remembered. Every step held memories. Every picture, every piece of furniture. Jack stopped suddenly…

“What’s wrong, Jack?” his Mom asked.

“The box is gone,” he said.

“What box?” Mom asked.

“There was a small gold box that he kept locked on top of his desk. I must have asked him a thousand times what was inside. All he’d ever tell me was ‘the thing I value most,” Jack said.

It was gone. Everything about the house was exactly how Jack remembered it, except for the box. He figured someone from the Belser family had taken it.

“Now I’ll never know what was so valuable to him,” Jack said. “I better get some sleep. I have an early flight home, Mom.”

It had been about two weeks since Mr. Belser died. Returning home from work one day Jack discovered a note in his mailbox. “Signature required on a package. No one at home. Please stop by the main post office within the next three days,” the note read. Early the next day Jack retrieved the package. The small box was old and looked like it had been mailed a hundred years ago. The handwriting was difficult to read, but the return address caught his attention. “Mr. Harold Belser” it read. Jack took the box out to his car and ripped open the package. There inside was the gold box and an envelope. Jack’s hands shook as he read the note inside.

“Upon my death, please forward this box and its contents to Jack Bennett. It’s the thing I valued most in my life.” A small key was taped to the letter. His heart racing, as tears filling his eyes, Jack carefully unlocked the box. There inside he found a beautiful gold pocket watch.

Running his fingers slowly over the finely etched casing, he unlatched the cover. Inside he found these words engraved:

“Jack, Thanks for your time! -Harold Belser.”

“The thing he valued most was… my time”

Jack held the watch for a few minutes, then called his office and cleared his appointments for the next two days. “Why?” Janet, his assistant asked.

“I need some time to spend with my son,” he said. “Oh, by the way, Janet, thanks for your time!”

My 2nd grade teacher, with whom I’m still friends, sent me the above in an email ~ so I made it a post today because I liked it.  I hope you did too!

To everyone who reads this post today ~

“Thanks for your time.”

Shine On!

xo

Do you need to reach out to someone today to say Thank You For Your Time? 

Click here and send a card on me to someone special! 

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Send Out LOVE!

Having peripherally experienced the passing of our family friend, I wanted to share with you some of the wisdom I gleaned over the weekend…

I watched as the love of one woman who touched so many people, reverberated throughout a family and others young and old…I listened as story after story, tinted with tears and laughter were shared, memories of a life that was built with love.  None of us are perfect, but bringing love, laughter and light to others is certainly a great way to be remembered…

I watched as almost strangers united in sharing fond memories of a friend and loved one and all I kept thinking was that I hoped she could hear all the ways she touched so many lives by simply being here on Earth.  It made me sad to think that she might not have known how much we thought of her ~ how much she was a part of all of our memories.

I saw kindness in strangers ~ the family who bought her family house ~ who had put a simple sign of Farewell on the lawn so as the procession drove past, we knew that her spirit lived on even in people who only had a slight connection to her.

The almost twinkling of bells heard as the talented Soprano sang Ave Maria at her funeral in her church where she’d raised her family.

The sweet granddaughter who beautifully played guitar and sang at her grave site ~ in the most heartwarming way.

The funeral home worker who with such kind words, promised to stay with the deceased as we all went to the repast so that we knew she was in good hands.

For all of those who stood up to say a few words about her ~ a small eulogy of acknowledgement of a life well-loved.

You know how I have shared in The Presents of Presence on FB that we only have today…that it’s a gift…that we need to enjoy it.   Well, in the midst of it all, I saw my own fault ~ and I believe sharing it is beneficial…a longtime friend with whom I’d lost touch and I were talking.  I told her that I always thought of her as my older sister and remembered many kindnesses she showed me.  She replied in genuine surprise that she didn’t realize I felt that way…and it made me so sad because I truly thought she knew…and it made me wonder if everyone in our lives knows how much they mean to us?

Does everyone in your life know how much they mean to you?

We only have today…don’t wait to tell them.

Please, tell them today…because they may not even know it.

So for all of you reading my blog…

You mean so much to me…

Thanks for being a part of my life.

Happy Sunday!

xo