Tag Archive | family feud

Tips to Help You Cope With Holiday Estrangements


There may be times in our lives when we feel separated from others and it seems that the holidays are the hardest to bear when we are in this position.  There are no words to balm the feeling of grief and loss, not even succinct platitudes which are uttered that bear witness to the heaving sadness in our hearts.  Whether your estrangement is with the living or deceased, it is sometimes hard to put on a happy face during this otherwise joyous season.

Feeling alone doesn’t help, so I am here to walk this holiday season with you.  Take my hand.  Let’s get a plan in place to make the best holiday season that can be!  I want to say that it doesn’t matter what the cause of the estrangement is or with whom, but then I’d be lying, for each of us in this position feels the pain of estrangement in our own ways and in our own situations and my goodness, it does truly matter.

But in a general way, here are some tips that may help us all.

Decide what makes you happy, festive and in the mood to celebrate and plan it.

Be kind to everyone, (especially you) during the holidays.

Remember Ram Dass’ quote, we are all just walking each other home and as you may be finding it hard to walk home at this time, others may be as well.

Change is difficult, but it opens our lives up to fruitful empowerment.

Take some quiet time for yourself.  Meditate.  Take a bubble bath.  Nourish your soul by feeding yourself loving, peaceful moments of stillness.  Smile.  Pray.

Be the observer in your own life.  See how each and every person you meet is struggling and feel the compassion in being kind to everyone, no matter the circumstances.

Do your best to shine your heartlight.  Do what makes you happy and not for approval of the masses.  They may judge anyway.  Just continuej to be your sweet, loving self.

Get enough rest.  Drink extra water.  Do not overindulge in food or alcohol for it will not help you.

Silence is a gift you give yourself.  If you have nothing nice to say, then please don’t say it.  If someone says something nice to you, allow yourself space to walk away and not engage.

Listen with a loving heart for you may hear tidbits which explain the estrangement (if you don’t already know).  When you speak, do it with kindness and not with negativity nor anger.

If you must leave, then do so quietly without rancor.  Best to err on solitude than to have your actions gossiped over by others.

Remember the reason for the holiday season ~ to show kindness, generosity of spirit and love.

Make good memories for yourself and others by coming from a place of patience and peace.

Look up.  Ask for help from God.  Imagine yourself surrounded by white, loving light which protects you all the time, especially during trying times.

Bless the festivities.  Ask your Angels and God to be there with you as you pass through the holiday season.

Be grateful that you are here and do your best to make a difference with each and every encounter.  Let no one leave you without feeling the genuine warmth of your smile.

Remember that you have a friend in me.  Take my hand and know that you are loved.

Shine On!



Welcome Home


I had the most amazing treat last night.  In fact, I still get teary when I remember what happened.  The reason I’m posting this is because I think it happens more often in families than we admit.  Awhile back, I shared that we’d lost touch with part of our family here and then I told you the follow up which was my ‘older sister cousin’ responded to my sympathy card on the passing of her Mom who was a favorite childhood Aunt here.  But I never heard back from my ‘older brother cousin’ at that point.

And then he called.

We finally met face to face last night.  My sister Sissy, our beloved cousin (Cuz) and I shared almost 5 hours together.  We talked non-stop, with brief moments of quiet which were sprinkled with a few tears and much regret at having allowed 13 years to have passed us by without any communication between us.

I met him at the boat from NYC which he had taken to see us.  Upon seeing him, I ran into his arms and we hugged ~ all the past baggage dropped away and we were just in the moment together.  Connected by our childhood friendship/relationship, my heart swelled in gratitude for this reunion.  It was so long in coming.

I took him to a scenic point where we visited a historic monument, my nod to his father (my Uncle) and my Dad who would have first thing, stopped at the same place for both loved history.  As we walked the grounds, we chatted about our parents and various memories we had of each of our dads.  I wanted us to have a common ground to start our reunion.  And I wanted those above in Heaven to know that we still remember them, we still hold those cherished, happy moments in our hearts.

We went to Sissy’s house, he was able to meet her children, her hubby (mine weren’t able to come) and then the three of us set out to dinner.  Several times, I was reminded of how blessed we are to be able to drop the baggage and just be in the moment.  We laughed, we cried, we reminisced.  We regaled each other with stories, tried to catch up on 13 years in the window of 5 hours.

Above all, we reconnected.  We secured the bonds of family again.  We were given the opportunity to tell each other how much we cared, how much we loved and how much each of us meant to the other.

Priceless.  Magical.  Special.

My heart swells with gratitude for the time we shared.  I believe that it’s in these special, present moments that we gain the gift of understanding ~ that when all of this ‘stuff’ in life is gone, we are just souls who connect, who love and who appreciate the gifts given and received.

Thanks for reading today.

Shine On!


P.S. Yes, the above card is what I’m sending to him today!  Isn’t it perfect?  ♥