Tag Archive | failure

Suspend Your Limiting Beliefs

suspendyourlimitingbeliefs

Have you ever had a moment where you catch yourself thinking, “I can’t do that” or “That can’t happen because….” or the dreaded, “They don’t understand the complexity of the situation, that’s impossible!” or anything else along those lines?

I have encountered many facets of those limiting beliefs in my lifetime as I think many of us have.  We forget, in the chaotic moment of fear, that there are limitless possibilities to any situation and the outcome does not have to only be what we project or believe could happen.  No matter how convinced we are that we know how the experience will end or how the person will react or what will happen, the fact remains that we don’t know for certain.  So many factors come into play in any given situation and it is our job to suspend our limiting beliefs to welcome the infinite possibilities that life provides.

We have a choice in every situation.  We can choose hope or despair, limited beliefs or allowing God and the Universe to tap into a new experience.  It is in making the conscious choice to choose hope and allow, that provides power to the situation, to the life lesson and to the mending of relationships.  It is not that you are powerless though.  It is that you are, in affect, joining forces with the Universe and God to learn and to grow with your new life lessons.

Failure is a dreaded word, but in not having a situation come out as we want it to, we often declare it a failure.  However, failure is not necessarily what it is.  Sometimes, failure is simply a way of opening a door to something new that had one succeeded the way we believed, we would not have been afforded this opportunity!  There are life lessons all around us to be learned and many doors of opportunity remain locked when we do not change our limiting beliefs that ‘it must be this way‘ in order for our lives to be deemed successful or good in our eyes.

Time and again, I found myself knocking on a closed door of what I thought was failure, forgetting as the adage states, “when one door closes, another opens” or “when God closes a door, he opens a window.”  Spiritually, I am letting go of my preconceived notions of success and failure and thus allowing infinite possibilities to flow without restriction.  I’m suspending my limiting beliefs!

It’s a process as you can imagine and a change in outdated thinking that feels a bit uncomfortable as I stretch the limits of my own mind.  But happily, I can report, it is helping me to gain perspective on all sorts of situations that I had once declared in my head, failures.  With newfound thoughts, I see how much better my life is as I have eased into uncharted territories that I would have never had the courage to enter if I stayed small in my thinking.  There’s a bliss to be had in this life!  Let’s go and enjoy it!

Shine On!

xo

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Watch What You Say!

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Sometimes the people we love the most are the ones we hurt the most.

Words are so powerful when spoken aloud and when spoken within, don’t you think?  Words said aloud can’t be taken back after they’ve been heard ~ an indelible mark is etched into the mind of the person to whom you are speaking when they are unkind words.  Believe me when I tell you that I’ve seen it, I’ve experienced it and sadly, I have also done it.

Growing up, my Dad said words that I know he regretted a lot.  I’m not talking about cursing (although he did that too), but rather, hurtful, stinging words of failure which poked right through to my soul and to my self-esteem.  He meant them in the heat of the moment; he said whatever came to his brain at the time in order to add more blunt force to his already powerful voice and his harsh words tore at my heart just the same.

I’m telling you this because I think many people speak without thinking of the impact their words have on the intended listener.  It’s hard to step back before throwing a verbal punch sometimes, but I can attest that it is well-worth it because you can’t take back those words once they are said.  Like the smell of a skunk, their stench lingers in the air, poisoning even the most kindhearted listener.

It’s taken me a long time to erase those bruises from my self-esteem and I will confess to you that the little girl whose Dad called her a failure in 4th grade because she didn’t have straight 100’s in school, still feels ashamed even though it’s more than 30 years ago.  In my head, his words still chatter, shredding my self-confidence at the most inconvenient of times even today.  It’s interesting to me as my Mom and I had a conversation recently about him and she told me how proud he was of me which I never really heard from him, although I’ve heard plenty of times from his friends now since he’s passed.

Failure in 4th grade (by the way I was an A student, but not 100’s every time) is just one example of a litany of weekly put-downs.  He would get a laugh from everyone around him when he called me an airhead starting when I was in high school, especially when friends came to our home.  He’d reach up and grab my left ear and pull and make a hissing sound ~ telling everyone that he let the air out of my head!  He berated me to get a laugh and it broke my heart every single time.  He put me down in order to raise himself up.

I loved my Dad, but I didn’t like him for many reasons.  As I got older, I was blessed to have others who held me with their warmth and loving ways, who nurtured my strengths and helped me to rebuild my mangled self-esteem.  MIL even told my Dad that I was ‘perfect’ which to me was such a priceless gift!  It still tears me up to this day to think that someone thinks I am perfect even in all my imperfect ways.  My Dad laughed and told her that I had her fooled, but through her eyes, I learned to feel good enough and most importantly loved.

My Dad loved me, this I know for sure.  He came from an abusive family and he allowed his lack of self-control to rule his life.  He often said, “You hurt the ones you love the most,” which is the card above ~ and I used to say, “then don’t love me.”

That cycle, that vicious cycle of mental, emotional cruelty stopped with me.  I try very hard to stay positive with my sons and to not berate them.  I don’t give them false information, but I try to look to the bright side.  I am blessed as my MIL taught me that, she nurtured it in me and since I’ve known her for more than 24 years,  I’ve been able to watch my role model mother me along with her grandchildren and it’s been a priceless blessing in my life.

So please, watch your words!

Speak with Love!

Shine On!

xo