Thank you to all of you for your kind messages yesterday. I’m waiting on the answer as to what happens next and if the cancer has returned. I was retested yesterday so now I just hunker down to wait and see. Yesterday I comforted me. I took the time to pamper myself and to allow the feelings to surface that needed to be felt. I allowed a bit of fears and tears to be shed so that I could greet my family with calming love and joy when they got home from school and work. But before they arrived, I took some needed ‘me time.’
What’s your ME time? Do you take some important time for yourself? What do you do for you to rejuvenate your soul?
I relaxed in the quiet of my home, with my trusty kitty nearby. Funny how she never left my side yesterday. Perhaps on some soul to soul level, she understood that I needed a bit more fur therapy than usual ~ that I needed some quiet time to contemplate and to relax. She snoozed on the couch with me as I rested. I tried to meditate, but you may remember how my monkey mind acts up when I try. If not, click here for a giggle. So I closed my eyes and asked my angels to help me to rest and to heal. I sent loving thoughts to my body, I thought of healing love spreading its sparkling light from my head to my toes. I imagined a healing light from Heaven embracing me as I tried to relax and let go of all the worry in my brain. I imagined cleansing my cells free from toxins and spreading light throughout them. ‘The Presents in Presence’ was my mantra. I embraced myself, with faults and all, and thanked my body, brain and heart for all that it has given to me. I restored peace within my soul, asking forgiveness and allowing forgiveness into my heart. I fell asleep for awhile.
Do you believe in angels?
A little bit of comfort food for the physical body, fur therapy for the heart (because her purrs reverberate directly to my cells) and lots of loving messages from you and my trusty friends and family who know what’s going on and voila- I was ready for my little family to arrive home to a calm Mom and not the crying jagged woman who inhabited the house only a few hours ago. It’s amazing what we can do in an instant, isn’t it? We can change directions when we have to, because we have to, as easily as changing lanes while driving sometimes. I only need to know that my sons are coming home and I don’t want them to know anything that I can right myself, remove any remnants of tear-stained tissues and comfort food evidence in order to greet them with the smiles, the loving embraces and the full-on attention that they deserve when they come home. There’s no need for them to have any clue as to what is going on before there is a definite answer. It’s not that I ever hid my cancer from them because I have never done that. They have known as much as needed, when needed and I stand behind our decisions with that (hubby and mine) ~ we’re a team.
But it’s a wait to worry scenario here. Sure, I was worrying plenty while they were out of the house, but then, I was back to calm Mom until bedtime when I could relax with hubby and gain some strength from him as well. Today is another day, brighter and with dawn comes possibility and more love, more gratitude and maybe even an answer if I’m lucky.
So enjoy your day, wherever you may roam. Smile at strangers, hold hands with loved ones and be kind to yourself and to each other. We are all connected. We are all here together on this journey called life. And it is, with love, that I send my heartfelt gratitude to you for connecting with me.