Be Like Impatiens

I buy certain flowers each season and for summer, it’s always impatiens.  There’s something about them that brings me joy.  Perhaps it’s because they are good reminders to me of how to grow in this life and how to recover when life hands me a drought of goodness.

Here’s a photo of my red impatiens the other day.  Scorching heat and my not tending them as I should along with no rain for a few days made them look a bit dreary.  Like humans, when we don’t meditate and nourish ourselves, we become a bit downtrodden and sad.  However, if we realized that all we needed was caring and nourishment, we could come back from:

To this!

The non-green thumbed gardener that I am just watered my sweet impatiens and Voila!  They bounced back beautifully within hours!

Wouldn’t it be nice if we humans could be healed and bounce back from depression, sadness and even stony unforgiveness by a little watering, some kindness and love?

We can, dear friends.  It’s possible to be like the impatiens.  We can nourish ourselves and others with love, forgiveness and understanding and perk up!  Imagine if we, as a world, all watered eachother’s souls with nourishment instead of hatred and hurt?

We would have a lush, beautiful, spiritual world of love!

Shine On!

xo

What Is Strength?

“The strongest people are not those

who show strength in front of us,

but those who win battles

we know nothing about.”
~ Anonymous

Happy Saturday!

Shine On!

xo

 

Until You’ve Been There, You Can’t Quite Understand

Until You’ve Been There,

You Can’t Quite Understand

At some point in life, we can feel misunderstood and alone as if no one truly understands what we are enduring.  It happens.  We can swirl in strive alone or we can reach out to others.  I have found through my experiences that when we endure hardships, we have a choice.  We can allow them to keep us down or we can use our knowledge to help others.  There’s nothing like the connection when we share what we are going through and find the comfort with someone who understands because they have a similar experience.

On the other hand, if you have not experienced ‘x’ (fill in the blank with whatever hardship you are currently enduring), you may find it difficult to be compassionate with a friend who just doesn’t ‘get it’ because they simply can’t imagine the magnitude of ‘x’ in your life.

Don’t despair dear friends for it happens to all of us.  We all have certain hardships in life that can drag us down, but here you can find a connection of love that endures, supports and helps to raise you up when you need comfort.  You only need to tap into the love of the universe to feel it.  Take my hand.  I understand.

Holidays can be trying times for the best of us.  Grief and loss can sour happy times if we let them.  But we have a choice to allow sadness to swallow us up and sap our energy or we can reach out and look up.  I know it’s not easy, but it is possible.  Begin to feel the festive spirit of love in your life.  You are not alone, ever.  Even when you feel completely misunderstood and alone, you are not.  Faith is a great healer.  Your inner spirit shines with a heartlight full of love when you let it.  Allow your soul to glow with love and peace.  Begin to feel the gratitude for being here in this moment.  Breathe in the source of God’s love for you.  Close your eyes and see the white light of love surrounding you.

Grief comes in waves.  Ride the peaks and valleys of grief as best you can and know that it can be a wild ride.  But know that it is a part of life’s journey.  For without grief, we would not understand the beauty of happiness and joy.

Share your experiences with others as when we connect, when compassion forges that connection, we all become empowered by the moment.  When we lift someone else up by word or deed or even companionable silence, we lift your own spirit as well, we begin to heal and we strengthen our loving heartlights to shine even brighter!

Remember you are loved.  You are cherished.  Life is a season of years with ups and downs.  We remember the good and the bad, but the choice is ours as to what we allow to take our attention.  You are wise.  You are here.  Be kind to yourself and others today for we are all enduring something.  Compassion heals, dear friends.  Shine your heartlight, connect with others and know that you are loved.

Shine On!

xo

 

Still Alice

Have you read the book by Lisa Genova or seen the movie?  I read the book a few months ago and watched the movie over the weekend.  Tears poured down my cheeks while reading so when I watched the movie, I thought it would be easier.  But I was wrong.

Being that I presently have two loved ones in my family with the disease, the book and movie hit home in a way that hurt me to my core.  Perhaps it’s because I have such profound empathy for Alice.  I can imagine as I watched and read Still Alice, what she was enduring.  Perhaps because it hit so close to home these days in my life, that it left me sobbing at times and even after the book and movie were over, I felt despondent.

To process the feelings that I carry, I’ve had to dig deeply and to accept what perhaps I had yet to accept in my life and in the lives of my loved ones.  Still Alice shined a direct flashlight on my current situation with my family in a way that allowed the tears that I’d been holding back for so long to be released.  The depression that I have been hiding for so long about my two loved ones situation and my dealing with the present situation came to light head on (pun intended).  I watched as Alice began to repeat herself, to lose herself and her precious memories.  I sympathized with her family who felt frustrated by her increasing forgetfulness, the constant repetition and her lack of focus.  It gave me a way to see my loved ones in a different light.  It allowed me to feel not so alone on this journey and to not feel guilty for the frustration that I face in dealing with their disease.

I wish I could tell you that it gave me strength, but alas, it simply broke my heart, over and over again.  I want everything to be better for Alice and for my loved ones.  I fear that genetic factor will be a possibility for me as well.  The more I learn about the disease, I realize that I could face the same situation down the road someday.

I am frightened.  I know that it does me no good to fear what may or may not come my way.  I know that I must rule my own mind, stay strong and do my best.  But if you are a sibling or child of someone with Alzheimer’s or Dementia, you will understand how I’m feeling.

Do you feel the same way?

Shine On!

xo

 

The Trouble With Linear Thinking

Linear thinking is defined as a process of thought following known cycles or step-by-step progression where a response to a step must be elicited before another step is taken.  It is a highly focused way of living whereby one continues to stick to their own path without turning around to evaluate spherically how their actions, inactions and words affect others.

I applaud those who are so focused, but I believe that it also stunts growth potential when we simply live linearly and do not stop to turn around and see the world around us even for a few moments.  Living in this way, allows us to move blithely through life with blinders on, unaware of what is going on around us.  It disconnects us from ourselves and others during our lifetime.  I imagine it is not an easy way to live (or perhaps it is), but I see it as a very solitary way of living.

I am a spherical thinker for the most part.  For me, my kindness and compassion radar is tuned in to those around me.  Even when angry, I can see the other point of view and many times, I find myself feeling compassionate towards the one who has evoked the anger within me.  I can ‘see’ how this person is hurting and feels out of control and in order to gain control, must retaliate in this fashion.  I can forgive because I look outside myself to view their grief and hurting.  It is my choice to do so and one which I choose many times even when I’d prefer to not see the entire picture and only view it from my side of the fence.

It is frustrating to have linear thinking folks in my life who border on narcissism.  It is most likely frustrating for them as well to have me there, intently trying to get them to turn around occasionally to see more of what life is offering, to connect with those who love them and to connect with themselves on a deeper level.  To feel again is a difficult task for those who have disconnected for whatever reason.  They strive to look away, to remain focused on the task ahead and to cement those blinders on so that they do not have to see what they are avoiding.  It becomes a stall tactic which holds them motionless while the world around them moves on without them.

For those of us who wish for communication outside the nothing box, it is an uphill climb to constantly reach out and try to penetrate the walls of their stoic thinking.  We can occasionally catch glimpses of the heart light inside of loved ones, but almost as quickly as the twinkle is revealed, the light is hidden again, the door is shut, locked tight and darkness remains.  It is in the darkness that the nothing box dwells and in there, the light of life is forbidden its sparkle.

Who holds the key to the door of life?  Why you do!  But many people are afraid of moving out of their comfort zones to feel what they hide, to experience more deeply the suffering which they keep safely hidden away from others.  Many times they hoard those dark feelings and experiences in fear.  It is hard to open up and to look at ourselves and others in a different light.  It may be easier to remain amidst the dark depression of the nothing box.  This way we don’t have to deal with the consequences of our own actions, inactions and words.  We can simply pretend to make it all about others and not ourselves.

Those of us who can see those heart lights shimmer even for a moment know that these folks are hurting and we can see the potentiality to flourish in them.  So we wait, trying to lure them out of their linear thinking, to turn them around even for a few moments so that they can see the healthy, healing love that life has to offer.  We can offer them unconditional love which they have always had, but it is up to them to accept it.  It is a choice that is theirs alone to make.

Take my hand.  I have known depression, but as a friend once told me, ‘when you think you are going through hell, keep going’ which is a rendition of a quote attributed to Winston Churchill.  So let’s keep going…together. ♥

 Shine On!

xo

Grief is a funny thing…

This blog post brought tears to my eyes as it was so raw, so true and so important for us all ~ hold your loved ones close everyday.  Do the right thing and take care of yourself and others.  And please, do not drink and drive.  Thank Lori Lara for sharing your story with us.  Much love to you and C.  I have a best friend since we were 9 and your post hit home for me.  Big hugs to you xo

Shine On!

xo

Start Your Day Right!

How do you begin your day?  Do you wake up to the clanging of an alarm clock or a pet/spouse/child pestering you?  Do you woodenly trudge to the kitchen to get coffee?  Or do you smile as you pull back the covers and land your feet on the floor?

I’m an early riser myself.  I adore the quiet of the morning for it’s when I get the most done.  My mind is alert (after my coffee of course) and I can feel the possibility of a new day dawning ahead of me.  Sure, there are obligations and responsibilities that I attend during my day, but there are also pockets of time in which I indulge and find the little things that make me smile.  And I smile simply because I am here…now…today…in this very moment…and I am grateful for the gift of today.

For you see, even the roughest of days, I do not regret having and believe me, I have endured many a rough day as I know we all have in our lives.  But it is in surviving those rough days that I can treasure the days in which my heart is happy.  Even in those hard days, I always made sure to find a small moment or two where I could feel my heart no matter if it were sad or glad.  I could remind myself that I am here and be present for myself and my family.

So today, let’s start at the very beginning ~ gratitude for being here, for breathing, for moving, for thinking and reading, for loving, for peace, for joy and for you being you and me being me. ♥

We can begin at any moment, so let’s start now!  You are worth a new beginning!

Shine On!

xo

Have You Ever Felt Like Dumbo?

As the holiday season approaches, I must confess I feel a bit like Dumbo.  Sad, lonely and abandoned.  It’s not that like Dumbo, I don’t have a friend like Timothy the Mouse.  The fact is that I am eternally grateful for the many friends who have stuck by me as my life has changed dramatically.  But I still feel a bit like the scared Dumbo above, lost and lonely.

I think holidays bring up many unresolved issues in our lives and when all are celebrating, those of us whose lives have changed irrevocably have a hard time adjusting to the merriment.  It’s not that we truly want to bring others down to our own low vibrations, but we feel how we feel and sometimes, we simply need a Timothy the Mouse to bring us a magic feather in order for us to see how we can fly.

It’s a difficult season when we have lost loved ones to death or abandonment.  A part of our hearts go with those who leave in whatever form.  A broken heart learns to heal albeit slowly and there comes a time when we have to confront ‘the elephant in the room.’  For my own self, I am struggling quite honestly with how to go about my first holiday season ~ mentally, physically and emotionally for myself and my sons.  It is not an easy transition for any of us and one that I’ve learned is without any rules.  The best we can do is to look beyond ourselves to those around us, keeping in mind that all are hurting as well.  But to have the courage to enter the circus of holiday parties, feeling like Dumbo, is something that I’m honestly struggling with and I am hoping that someone who reads my blog may have the magic feather for me so that, like Dumbo, I can learn to fly.

I know that my situation is not abnormal and that perhaps you have endured this change as well in your life, or know someone else who has survived this type of heartbreak.  I would truly appreciate any and all support, advice and ‘magic feather’ that you can offer at this time.  I know that in my heart, I can endure the holidays with my head held high for my children’s sakes, but at what price to my own self?  I battle with these thoughts and more daily as Thanksgiving approaches and the hubbub of the holiday season and parties begins.

I apologize for such a sad post today.  Usually I am upbeat and try to be inspirational, but I am faltering and now look to your kindness with hopeful yearning.  Does anyone have a magic feather to lend?  I am looking to fly my dear friends.  Any and all help is appreciated and if you feel like sharing any special Timothy advice, I am open and willing to listen and to embrace my strength, my tenacity and my inner love to fly.

Thanks for being with me everyday.  I am so grateful to all of my readers and friends.  May you never let go of your magic feather for we are all meant to fly!

Shine On!

xo

*Credit to the internet for the photos above of Dumbo from the movie.

 

 

When Life is a Little Stormy

when life is a little stormy, you can count on me.

Have you ever felt like life is stormy?  That it’s not just the weather which is gloomy, but you yourself as well?    What do you do about it?

Do you….

• have a pajama day and stay home, not leaving the house? 
• call a friend or family member? 
• log in online and blog? 
• search for a ray of sunshine amongst blog posts, emails or Facebook snippets? 
• pick up a feel good book to read? 
• choose to watch mindless television? 
• reach out for some fur therapy from your pet or some hugs from friends and family? 
• take a walk and get some endorphins moving? 
• wade through the storm, allow the tears to flow and just be with the emotions?
• find an oldie, but goodie movie to lift your spirits?
• eat chocolate or some forbidden goodies?
• get dressed up and go out?
• smile at yourself in the mirror, hoping to change how you feel?
• pick yourself up by the ‘bootstraps’ and just move on?

What is it that you do?

Please share so that we can get some ideas!

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  At the moment, I’m not stormy, but the weather is changing to Nor’easter status here!

To Handle Others, Use Your Heart

To handle yourself, use your head; to handle others, use your heart. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s nearing the one year anniversary of my Dad’s passing away ~ and we are all grieving at different stages in our family.  It’s interesting to me how life has evolved since he died.  When I can observe our little threesome ~ Mom, my sister and me, I can view how it’s affected us all.  The tentacles of his death have wrapped around each of us in different ways ~ pulling and pushing our strengths and weaknesses ~ all the while, forcing us to grow, to be patient and to be more tolerant and understanding of eachother’s foibles.

It’s been a long year thus far and Mom’s acutely aware of the approaching date which marks one year since he passed away.  In fact, the other day, she blithely stated, “I guess he’s really not coming back,” which caught me unaware.  For you see, in my head, I am thinking, “Of course he’s not coming back Mom ~ he’s dead ~ he’s in that little urn/box at your house…you know this so what are you saying?”

But in my heart, the strings that tie me to her vulnerability, simple croak out in a soft voice, ” I know Mom.  It’s been a long time,” and we bond.  We bond because I know she is just saying what she’s thinking ~ without measuring it against what is known.  She just allows herself to voice how she feels and in that vulnerability, I find empathy, I find understanding…I listen with my heart and not my head.

Isn’t that all we want in life?  For someone to listen with their hearts to us ~ to bond heart to heart ~ even when perhaps we are not expressing the obvious, but the subtlety of how we are feeling?  Instead of being angry at her for not getting it which I know she does, I am lending her a wing until she can find a way to fly again, simply by getting the pain she’s endured since he passed away.

Because she’s been left alone ~ a broken little bird, lost without her other ‘wing.’  She’s been a trooper, living alone for a year when she’d never lived alone in her life.  She’s taken on many responsibilities that she’s never had.  As a team, my sister and I have taken on many responsibilities as well simply because we are a family ~and because we listen with our hearts.

As that little Disney Stitch character says,

“Ohana means family and family means no one gets left behind.”

Today, when handling others, listen with your heart to the words spoken and unspoken.

You make a difference ~ one heart at a time.

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  Mom I’m so proud of you! ♥