Need Help When You’re Grieving?

I’m sharing snippets from here  in hopes that what I have learned from Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD, will help you along the way.  Please note that her intention was to apply her 5 stages of grief to the survivors of a loved one’s death or to people who are facing their own impending death.

For me, I think the stages can be applied to any sense of loss be it financial, health, relationship, etc.  Please note that italicized words are directly from her website listed above.

A little background:

Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D. ~ A pioneer in Near-death studies and the author of the groundbreaking book On Death and Dying(1969), where she first discussed what is now known as the Kübler-Ross model. In this work she proposed the now famous Five Stages of Grief as a pattern of adjustment. These five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. In general, individuals experience most of these stages, though in no defined sequence, after being faced with the reality of their impending death. The five stages have since been adopted by many as applying to the survivors of a loved one’s death, as well.

Here, I found a simple way to look at…

The Five Stages of Grief

Denial

Anger

Bargaining

Depression

Acceptance

Have you ever heard of them?  When you think about your life right now, do any of these feel familiar?  At times, I think we can stagnate in the stages of grief, burying ourselves in them like an old comfy blanket.  It’s not even that we flow through the stages in a predictable way.  Sometimes, we dance through them like an untrained cha-cha, forward and backwards with no sense of timing.  It helps when a friend can reach out to share the journey with you and recognize if you cannot, the stages you’ve endured and where you are right now.

Many times in my life, I have flowed through the stages, in varying degrees for various experiences which I’ve endured.  The bottom line is that through grief, we are searching for a new normal because the ‘normal’ that we knew, no longer applies to the present reality in our lives.  It’s in this way that the stages are good for us all.

It’s not an easy path to a ‘new normal’ when we must accept change.  But it is something we are all capable of learning, growing and flowing through with help.  I encourage you to reach out, to read and to ask for help.  We are here, those of us who have endured all different aspects of life’s journey.  You are not alone.

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  Have you ever heard of the 5 stages of grief before?  Have you any experience with them?  Please share below! xo

Keep Calm and Fight Like A Girl!

Keep Calm and Fight Like A Girl

I’m off to the doctor’s again for a check up and for anyone who’s been diagnosed with an illness that lingers, it can be a bit challenging mentally to Stay Calm and Carry On.  I’m just saying the truth for me.  Even though it’s been years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I’ve had my ovaries out for 10 years as well, I’m simply not calm, cool and collected when I have to be retested for anything.  There I said it ~ and for as much as I’m trying to be zen all the time, the creeping thought of ‘what if’ does sneak into my thoughts before the appointment.

And it’s not as if I feel like there’s anything wrong with me.  I don’t.  I also don’t even think about the appointment until the day before when the doctor’s office calls to confirm and then the hamster wheel creaks into motion.  You know the noise that the wheel makes when your hamster brain is running all night long, don’t you?  If you don’t, then I am so happy for you!  May you never know the sound for it’s annoying as heck!

My friend Jenn who lost her battle with breast cancer now almost 3 years ago (time flies by when I think about this as without having to check on it, I would have said 2 years), Click here to see my last post about her  and when I went to see my last post, I realized that it was one year ago today that I wrote about her.  Such a coincidence, huh?  Anyway, when I see the words, “fight like a girl” I always think of Jenn as she battled her cancer with grace, dignity and an inspirational courage which she spread with her spirit.  I am blessed to have had her special brand of motivation and inspiration in my life.

What a legacy to leave, isn’t it?  Touching the lives of many simply by being yourself.  It’s a great goal for me, one which I try to exceed every single day.  I awake every morning to the dawn of a new day and I pray that I can be helpful to someone who needs the Presents of Presence.

Shine On!

xo