Tag Archive | Dad

Blessings in Life After A Death

Blessings!

Happy Day after Thanksgiving to all of you!

Yesterday marked the first big holiday that we celebrated without my Dad.  I am forever grateful to my husband’s family as my parents-in-law whom I dearly love, hosted my Mom, my sister and her family and of course, our family to their home last night.  It was the best way to transition to the beginning of life after Dad’s death.  With 16 people at the table, 7 active children ranging from ages 6 -14 (and only one girl in the group!) and 9 adults, we had a full house!

Ever protective of my Mom who had second thoughts about attending yesterday’s festivities because she didn’t want to be a burden nor did she want to feel like a 3rd wheel, I watched as our families enveloped her in holiday spirit, giving her the opportunity to know how much she is loved and appreciated.  At one point, someone pointed out a cardinal in the yard, bright red against the still green grass.  Many of us clambered to the window to look for its mate as they are always in pairs.  But my sister and I knew where his mate was…she was seated right next to me on the chair, a few tears quietly escaping her while the others looked outside.  My sister has always loved cardinals and my Mom knew the significance of the mate-less cardinal who showed up brightly outside the window of the house yesterday.  Dad was there in spirit.

As the day wore on, I watched as she got involved in the washing of dishes with all of the girls, drying platters and laughing at our antics and off-pitch singing.  I smiled such gratefulness as I saw the door of mourning open for a bit, allowing for the laughter of life in her to emerge.  There were times during the night where Mom got weepy, especially when we said the blessing before the meal and my father-in-law  reverently spoke making sure to say a prayer for my Dad.  But I also saw how protective our family as a whole was of her as each took time to talk with her, reminisce with her and to make her feel at home.

Truthfully I am crying now in gratefulness as I know how blessed I am…I reminded my Mom albeit a bit sternly the day before Thanksgiving when she was wavering on whether to come or stay home alone ~ life is for the living…You are here!  Daddy is not, but if you should decide to stay home alone, you would be robbing our family of your presence as well.  My children and I wouldn’t be able to include you in our Thanksgiving memories.  You would be denying the opportunity to be an amazing role model to the family as you showed strength and love in being present during this holiday of Thanksgiving.  Being a part of the day means that you can honor Dad, but also be humanly strong as you embody the title of my blog ~ The Presents of Presence!

As you already know, she took the (ahem) bait and came!  I knew she would…there’s an inner strength to Mom that shines through, just like the laughter that we heard last night.  I pray her love of life (and us) will continue to help her find her way in this next stage of life.  I know how difficult it can be to mourn a loss in your life.   Although I’m currently mourning the loss of my Dad, I’ve mourned the loss of my health when I got breast cancer 10 years ago and lost my breasts to the disease.  Now I know it’s not the same, but they are losses, permanent changes in your life that you don’t see coming, but they come all the same.  They change you in ways you can’t even begin to fathom and sometimes, speaking for myself,  they change you for the better.

There are Presents to being Present in your life!!

You only have to look to find them…and enjoy them!

The Presents of Presence…xoxo

Seasons Change, Life Changes, You Change…

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.

Nature’s peace will flow into you just as sunshine flows into trees.

The winds will blow their own freshness into you… while cares will drop off like leaves.

Well my friends, it’s almost the end of summer and I am hanging on to its vestiges with every fiber of my being.  I know most of us are already thinking in terms of fall since school has started but alas, the Fall Equinox officially begins on in the Northern Hemisphere on September 22, 10:49 A.M. EDT.   The word equinox comes from the Latin words for “equal night.” The fall and spring equinoxes are the only days of the year in which the Sun crosses the celestial equator.   From here on out, the temperatures begin to drop and the days start to get shorter than the nights.

My Dad passed away on June 21st which was the first day of summer which was his favorite season so I guess moving into fall would be just another first to add to our collection.  We’ve endured my parents’ first wedding anniversary without my Dad, my nephew’s & brother-in-law’s birthdays, my husband’s and my wedding anniversary, the first day back to school went by without his traditional call to ask how the day went and various holidays ~ July 4th, Labor Day have already been celebrated without his earthly presence.

I guess that’s where this all ties in together for seasons change…life changes…we are born, we live, we die…and then…?  I won’t go into what happens next, because I am concentrating on the NOW…the PRESENT that we’ve been given.

My suggestion to you is to video tape your loved ones talking about something special…get their voices on tape…take pictures now while life is good because we only have today…we only have my Dad’s voice on the answering machines since he was always calling us.  I am grateful that I kept his last few messages.  My sister took a video of him when he was first put in the hospital, before he started to really go further downhill and it is one that I am ever grateful for because he sent me a message ~ one that I’ll forever cherish.

Which brings me to my passion ~ sending out love.  What’s the legacy you’re leaving behind?  If today was your last day, would your loved ones know how you feel?  Would there be kind words left unsaid?  I used to keep cards from my family that said something very special ~ you know, that note that said how proud of you they were and how much you are loved…those kinds…now I keep the last card sent from others because I’ve now found first hand how much it means to see a loved ones handwriting especially when it says something good.  You see, we all need to feel loved and to feel special.  An unexpected card in the mail, amidst the junk and bills, is a smile giver ~ telling someone now how you feel is a sure-fire way to not feel that there are words left unsaid.  Sending a card with your heartfelt words gives a concrete, hand-held reminder of how you feel ~ one that will be cherished.  And with SendOutCards you can even write it in your own handwriting, but from the comfort of your computer, in your pjs without leaving home!

Do you have 10 minutes and $1?  Of course you do…now use it…be the change you want to see in your life, in your relationships…you can’t change others, but you most certainly can change yourself!

Don’t FALL back into the routine which you’ve know for years…

branch out, let your cares fall like the leaves

and blow the freshness of a new season into your life and into the lives of others!

I’ll help by getting you started…

www.sendoutcards.com/126830

xo

Gratitude…

The possibilities are endless!

I guess you could say there are two ways to look at life ~ there are limited possibilities or none at all…and then there’s the way I LOVE to look at EVERYTHING~

The Possibilities are ENDLESS!! 

I don’t know about you, but I love the positive expansion of ENDLESSNESS rather than the negativity of limitation.  Don’t you think that’s the better choice?

Many people talk about gratitude lately ~ give thanks for what you have and more comes to you.  While I agree with that theory and have seen it in action myself, I also think that we need to appreciate the people in our lives!   Having had my dad pass away recently and two friends’ moms pass away (one in January and one last week), I realize that what we possibly put off until tomorrow, we miss out on today.   All those things we wanted to say, but didn’t…the wish that you could have told them that they were special…all those woulda, coulda, shoulda’s that are now gone because that moment is now lost.

I”m not saying that there aren’t angelic ways of communication after passing, but that time for human connection is lost once a person has passed.  When I went to my friend’s mom’s wake last night, her dad told me how much my card had meant to her.  I had sent her a card last year telling her how much I appreciated her.  It came out of the blue and was a simple card.  Nothing fancy, just heartfelt and personal, but the connection was one which even a year later, her husband remembered.

We are all connected ~ in joy, in tears ~ in life.

126830

Join me in the Gratitude Movement…

xo

Before the bloom fades…

Capture it before the bloom fades…

My friend CAngel took this picture for me and sent it to me yesterday and because I love it, I thought I’d share it via a card so here it is…a blue hydrangea!  Her comment resonated with me ~ “I thought you might like this photo. I thought it was so pretty that I wanted to capture it before the bloom faded.’

And then it struck me, ‘capture it before the bloom faded’ and this post was born…

Because that’s what we are always trying to do, aren’t we?  Capture life before it fades…but do we?  Can we?  Like the photo she took for me, we have snippets of moments that glisten in time for us, moments that perhaps we capture on film, on video, on tape or on paper.  Are we the sum of those moments?

On my home answering machine are 2 messages from my Dad which I keep saving.  They are the last vestiges of his voice that I have on tape and they are in fact messages that he left when he was in the hospital.  They are precious to me because of that fact but also because of what he said…he said he loved me.  Although I knew it, hearing how he felt has helped so much these past 3 weeks.  He appreciated my helping him with his business while he was unable to work and it is those 2 thoughts that hold my heart captive.

So today, before the bloom fades…

take a moment to let those around you know how you feel about them.

Send a heartfelt message in a card…

We only have today…

http://www.sendoutcards.com/126830

Gratitude Day 20 ~ Back to the Light

Sometimes our hearts get tangled and our souls a little off-kilter

friends and family can set us right

and help guide us back to the light. Sera Christann

I write today’s post with such heartfelt gratitude for so many people, many that I didn’t know previously, who have prayed for us, helped us behind the scenes and have sent their loving messages to our family.  The outpouring of love is a bit overwhelming at times as is the entire situation.  I truly feel so blessed as does my family.

We are not out of the woods yet by any stretch with my Dad’s health situation.  The amazing doctors and nurses continue to try new and innovative ways to regain his health.  I have said it before, we are on a seesaw as he is now 14 days in the ICU ~ and at times, his situation improves and we go up ~ and then it declines and we go down.

Our souls and hearts have been mangled lately with the ups and downs ~ hoping against hope, believing and yet worried…holding on to that Beacon of Hope and trying to grasp the faith of a mustard seed…and all the while, we’ve been surrounded by angels who continue to pour their love around us, sheltering us and helping to guide us as we navigate these difficult waters.

And today, I am so grateful for you all ~ and I want you to know how much it means to us to get your emails, texts, phone calls, FB messages and even comments on my blog…your hearts infuse us with light, hope and strength so that we can continue to help Dad and Mom as we continue on this journey.

With loving gratitude always,

xo

Gratitude Day 17 ~ A Beacon of Hope

Appreciation is the highest form of prayer,

for it acknowledges the presence of good

wherever you shine the light of your thankful thoughts.
-Alan Cohen

My Mom shared yesterday that she was begging God to let my Dad live.  She said she was didn’t mean to beg Him, but she simply couldn’t just pray as she cannot begin to imagine her life without my Dad.  She has been through so much in the last 2 weeks ~ standing like a Beacon of Hope next to his bed all night Thursday night, comforting him when he awakened calling for her.  In her stoic way, she never lets on to him that there is anything but hope there and that he will get better.  Even when he thinks he is dying and verbalizes it, she keeps her Beacon of Hope shining brightly.  It’s all we have at this point.

Our thankful thoughts are our Beacon of Hope and we have many good reasons to be thankful.  It’s hard to think about the possibility of my Dad passing without feeling bereft even though I’ve been blessed to have him in my life for so many years.   I know from experience that there are many others who have not been blessed with parents as long as AAngel and I have and I continue to be thankful in prayer for all that has been given to us.

Truthfully, I don’t want my Dad to pass, but I don’t want him to live uncomfortably either.  But then, it’s not my choice is it?  All I can do is continue to be thankful and appreciative for every little and big thing and for every person who is in our lives.  I am consciously trusting in God/Universe that what is supposed to happen, happens and that my family and I endure with love.

Family crises’ can bring people closer or tear them apart ~ and as I gratefully write that we three women have bonded together in order to be strong Beacons of Hope and Love to a man who has been Husband, Father and PITA to us all (he’s not a Saint you know ~ and I am a bit irreverent) I know that the above quote fits perfectly today.

Because we were called to the hospital early yesterday morning, I wasn’t able to write my post for the day.  In fact, when I awoke early this morning, I wasn’t sure of what I was going to write ~ and then, there it was ~ a quote in my email from a fellow blogger ~ LadyRomp ~ and the above quote and posting took shape.  So a heartfelt thanks to Kim @ a-message-from-the-creator-3-2 for her inspiring messages and quotes.

Use your thoughts wisely, be grateful, show your appreciation to your family, friends, loved ones.

Use the Gift of Today ~ The Presents of Presence that is yours.

Be the Beacon of Hope and Gratefulness

Shine your Love Brightly Today.

xo

Gratitude Day 13 ~ Father’s Day is coming!

Father’s Day is next Sunday…on Gratitude Day 13 ~ I am thankful for my Dad ~ and although I am not going to share my card to him, I am sharing the video I made which highlights the many cards you could send with SendOutCards.

kRCE0YE5z1wsNq8GUSDPvQ?utm_content=main_link

With the simple click of a button, you can send your personalized, heartfelt card of gratitude to Dad today and when he opens his mailbox, he’ll have a sweet card nestled among the bills and junk mail ~ addressed to him ~ with your message inside.  You can add pictures, personalize the card however you wish and even add your own video so that he can “SEE” you wishing him a Happy Father’s Day!  Send him Mrs. Fields cookies, delicious brownies, books, giftcards and more ~ right from your computer without leaving home!  And your gift and card will arrive ON TIME!

Don’t waste a moment ~ life is short ~ tell your Dad how grateful you are for him.

I guarantee you won’t regret it…and you know I know that!

xoxo