Spirits in the Night…

While we are mourning the loss of our friend,

others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil. – John Taylor

Years ago, I awoke from a dream that was so real that I called my parents to tell them.  My Mom’s brother was like another father to me growing up.  He was a special man in my life and I loved him very much.  My dream was brief, but I saw him as clear as day in my dream and I heard his voice which I hadn’t heard in over 20 years.  I knew the voice immediately and recognized him in my dream as well as he looked ‘fit as a fiddle’ and happy.  I spent many weeks visiting him in South Carolina as a child and he always made a big deal of my visits.  When I told my parents about my vivid dream, my Dad told me that it was my Uncle’s birthday (which I didn’t know).  I felt very blessed that he had come to visit me and I was smiling all day thinking of him.

Truth be told, I thought it was a strange coincidence, but went on with my life, never thinking another thing about it.

Then a few nights ago, I awoke in the middle of the night, startled from a dream that was so real that it took me a few minutes to shake the cobwebs from my brain and realize that I was in my own home, in my bedroom and it was 3am.  In my very vivid, realistic dream, I was talking with my Dad and my Aunt Gloria.  We were in a house which I know I’ve visited before in my dreams and we were in the kitchen, talking and laughing.  It felt so good to see the two of them looking healthy and happy.  They looked as I remembered them 20 years ago and not as I had last seen them which had been at their recent deaths.  I remember that there were others milling around, but the three of us were talking in the kitchen of the home and we were teasing my Dad and laughing heartily over something funny.

My Dad passed away 6 weeks ago and Aunt Gloria passed away 6 months ago, but they were great friends and I can easily see the 2 of them whooping it up in Heaven together.  In fact, the more I’ve thought about my recent dream, the more I suspect that perhaps I did really visit with the 2 of them for the duration of my brief dream.  Now I just wish I could remember what we had been talking about as it was very funny.  Surely they shared a dilly of a joke or story with me because I remember feeling so lighthearted when I awoke.

Whatever happened that night, I know that it was a confirmation to me that they are doing well on the ‘other side of the veil’ and I am happy to see it.  I am just so grateful that the two of them found each other and deigned to visit me.  What a beautiful memory to enjoy for days to come!

Has this ever happened to you?  Am I the only one?  Have you ever gotten a visit from someone who’s passed?   I’ve never told anyone but my family about these dreams so I’m interested in knowing if I’m just delusional or if you’ve had similar experiences?  If you would, please let me know…

Happy August 1st to you!

xo

Face the Sun!

Strength. Turn your face to the sun and shadows fall behind you.

Many of us have had tough times.  By a certain age, most of us have endured moments or longer of hard times and with that, have some experience in disappointment, sadness, fear, loss and such.  What I find most interesting though is how some people have endured hardships and yet they don’t allow those moments to define them.

Having been dealt the hand of breast cancer at age 34, I have experienced sadness, fear, loss and disappointment among other things…but that’s not to say that I haven’t been able to enjoy every sunrise, every cloud formation, every season and the precious moments of spontaneous hugs from my sons and family.   I’ve seen the darkness and I’ve seen the light.  Perhaps you feel that it’s not easy living on the roller coaster of life, a sentiment which I understand.  However, what brings me comfort is that with every nightfall, I know that in a few hours, there’s a sunrise waiting for me and it’s that sunrise I choose to concentrate on and ‘turn my face to’ everyday.  I feel grateful that I am here to experience it all ~ for without having experienced the darkness, how would we ever know how spectacular the sunrise is?

You own the power to choose everyday how you are going to face the day…

Turn your face to the sun and shadows fall behind you.

You’ll be glad you did!

xo

5 Minutes of Solitude…

It is only when we silent the blaring sounds of our daily existence

that we can finally hear the whispers of truth that life reveals to us,

as it stands knocking on the doorsteps of our hearts. K.T. Jong

For those of you who are energized by a challenges, I challenge you this week to give yourself 5 minutes of uninterrupted silence a day ~ not multi-tasking silence where you turned off the radio while driving to work ~ that doesn’t count nor does taking 5 minutes on the toilet and instead of reading, you sit quietly ~  nor does the 5 minutes before you actually fall asleep and have your head on the pillow ready for sleep to envelope your mind ~ but 5 minutes where you are conscious, quiet, without doing something else and you just sit.

I recently started doing this myself and at first it was hard for me as I like to either zone out in front of the tv if I’m going to be quiet or I like to read if I”m not chatting.  However, sitting quietly for 5 minutes without doing anything is a challenge.  I started making lists in my head of what I needed to do, wondering what the noises I heard downstairs were (did one of the kids drop something?) and the continuous thought of  ‘oh man, is 5 minutes up yet?” looped in my head.

So what I’ve done is started free writing during my 5 minutes which is akin to meditating, but offers my busy body a way to keep quiet for 5 minutes while doing something.  I am not quite sure if 5 minutes of solitude allows for free writing, but for now it’s working like a charm for me and perhaps it will for you as well.

Free writing for me has been me typing on my computer for 5 minutes uninterrupted, just allowing whatever words that begin to show in my head, a space on paper.  It’s just typing (or writing if you prefer) the stream of consciousness or unconsciousness that exudes from my fingertips without constraint.  And boy oh boy has it been interesting to read.  In fact, there have been times recently that I’ve gone over and beyond the 5 minutes as the words simply type themselves on the paper and continue to roll out in long, waves of sentences and paragraphs.

Sometimes it’s been just drivel that my fingers have typed, but some of the words/meanings that have come to fruition have been quite meaningful to my life and present situation.  The thoughts have had insight to my experiences and have been able to give proper responsibility where its due.

My Monday post today is simply to TRY for 5 minutes to be quiet and just listen to yourself…take a few moments for you.  Use it as an experiment.  You have nothing to lose except 5 minutes of worry, work or multitasking…give it a week and let me know how it goes…I’d love to hear if you already do this as I’d love the feedback…and if you’re just starting, let me know if you’d prefer I keep my challenges to myself!  Ha!

Happy Monday to You!

You’re worth 5 minutes…and more!

Be good to YOU!

xo

Before the bloom fades…

Capture it before the bloom fades…

My friend CAngel took this picture for me and sent it to me yesterday and because I love it, I thought I’d share it via a card so here it is…a blue hydrangea!  Her comment resonated with me ~ “I thought you might like this photo. I thought it was so pretty that I wanted to capture it before the bloom faded.’

And then it struck me, ‘capture it before the bloom faded’ and this post was born…

Because that’s what we are always trying to do, aren’t we?  Capture life before it fades…but do we?  Can we?  Like the photo she took for me, we have snippets of moments that glisten in time for us, moments that perhaps we capture on film, on video, on tape or on paper.  Are we the sum of those moments?

On my home answering machine are 2 messages from my Dad which I keep saving.  They are the last vestiges of his voice that I have on tape and they are in fact messages that he left when he was in the hospital.  They are precious to me because of that fact but also because of what he said…he said he loved me.  Although I knew it, hearing how he felt has helped so much these past 3 weeks.  He appreciated my helping him with his business while he was unable to work and it is those 2 thoughts that hold my heart captive.

So today, before the bloom fades…

take a moment to let those around you know how you feel about them.

Send a heartfelt message in a card…

We only have today…

http://www.sendoutcards.com/126830

Embrace your Uniqueness…

Unique. Embrace your uniqueness.

Time is much too short to be living someone else’s life.

~ Kobi Yamada.

I think as we get older, it becomes easier to be ourselves.  Perhaps it’s just me, but I feel that there’s an awakening, a releasing of caring about what someone else’s thoughts are about me and a freedom which makes life so enjoyable!

I spoke with CAngel yesterday whom I only just recently met.  She was very open in telling me about her life and the recent events which had changed her life so dramatically.  Instead of being negative about the events which changed her entire life recently, when I asked her how she was, she answered, “I am well.”  She went on to tell me that she was not going to succumb to negativity in thought nor in word.  She would accept the growth that the experiences were giving her and she would take this opportunity to get to know herself better.  She looks up, reads scripture and is delving into knowing herself better in order to strengthen herself.  She even shared with me that she has intuitive skills with spirits which I found fascinating and I loved that she was embracing her uniqueness in such a grand way.  Good for you CAngel!

We all have a UNIQUENESS that is OURS ALONE!  We all have talents, strengths and weaknesses which make us ourselves.  We can live our lives covering up what makes us unique or we can celebrate our uniqueness and strengthen it.  It’s all up to You!

For me, I love my Uniqueness ~ I’m not quite sure what makes me Unique though…

Do you know what makes you Unique?  Do you celebrate your Uniqueness?

Embrace your Uniqueness!

xo

Summer ~ Today’s Gift to YOU!

Summer. Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability. Sam Keen

Happy Saturday to You!  I hope you are enjoying the warm summer weather which seems to seep into my bones whenever I am outside in the sunshine lately.  I thought this sentiment was perfect for today because I think with the hustle and bustle of life, we sometimes forget to simply enjoy the weather, the season and nature.  It’s important to get off of the hamster wheel for awhile and just ‘be’ for a bit.  Many of us feel guilty (myself included) when we’re not doing something and we let our minds race with all of the woulda-coulda-shouldas instead of just breathing, observing, enjoying what is offered in The Presents of Presence (my FB page).

In fact, even in the card, it’s described as laziness finding respectability when it’s not that at all, but in our frenzy to continue to be busy, laziness is how we explain our doing nothing for awhile and enjoying it.  How sad that we need to label being present and just enjoying the moment as laziness.  Is that a label you use as well?  Or are you comfortable just being able to take time to be?

Even for a moment today, my challenge to you is to find 5 minutes in the sunshine ~ drop your burdens, your cares, your woes ~ allow the beauty, warmth and happiness of sunshine to seep into your bones for a bit, soak up some of the sun’s vitamin D (with sunscreen of course!) and take a break from that hamster wheel.   Hum a little tune, sing a little song, notice the sky, the sun, the world around you…take a moment to breathe in nature today and be grateful for this moment in time.

Time is all we have and it is limited.  None of us know when our time is up, but I can tell you that the clock is ticking…who’s life is this anyway?   It’s YOURS!  So enjoy it!

Happy Saturday!

Happy Summer!

xo

P.S.  And if it’s cloudy where you are today, look at a peaceful scene of sunshine and imagine what the sun feels like on your face…and if you can’t imagine that feeling, then we need to talk…you need sunshine! xo

I Am…who I want to be…

I Am…who I want to be

So I’m sticking with the latest theme…probably because today marks 2 weeks since my Dad died.  Wow…it’s been 2 weeks since I stood by his bedside while his heart ceased beating on its own ~ even though his breathing was being done for him by the ventilator.  It seems like years ago and in the same breath, it seems like just moments ago.

To me, this whole experience has just reinforced my determination to be able to say the above sentence with courage, with happiness and without regrets. Do me a favor, go to the nearest mirror in your home and say to your eyes which stare back,

“I AM who I want to be.”

How do you feel?  Can you say this truthfully?  And are you happy with who you are?

If you felt great with it ~ Woo Hoo!  I am so happy for you!  Now your job is to go spread your sunshine to others!

However, if you have trouble saying the above, then there’s a bit of work to do for you.  I think we are always evolving as we are always learning.  I know that I feel that I am who I want to be, but I always want to improve myself.  I am always reading and trying to learn about how to improve my life, myself and to be able to better hone in on my purpose in life.  I haven’t quite gotten my purpose figured out yet.

Sometimes I just think it’s a work in progress until God/Universe decides to give me another cosmic kick in the rear ~ although quite frankly ~ breast cancer 10 years ago, 7 surgeries in the last 10 years ~ with 3 more to go this year~ my Dad dying and leaving us his business to take care of ~ and other little trinkets that have been passed to me ~ I think are enough.  I just wish I knew more precisely what my purpose is…until I do, I think I’ll continue on the path I’m stepping and see where it takes me.

In the meantime,

I Am…who I want to be…

And I hope you are too!

xo

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness…

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal,

that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights,

that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

Happy 4th of July to ALL ~ especially to those in the United States of America ~ for whom this quote is especially pertinent since it comes from the US Declaration of Independence which was adopted back in 1776.

I loved this quote because I believe it is everyone’s right…and it is in your own power to exercise your freedom to be whomever you wish to be and to pursue what makes you happy.  This is YOUR LIFE ~ and our time here on Earth is limited.  Why waste YOUR TIME?  Today, amidst the holiday, take a few moments to ask yourself:  Are you pursuing your happiness?  Are you happy with your life?  Do you feel free or under constraint?  If any of those answers are not what you deserve by your rights, then it’s time for a change in your life.  It’s the 2nd part of the year, so there’s plenty of time to begin any adjustments you may need to make.  And if your answers are that you are living your life happily within your rights, then kudos to you!  Keep up the great work and go on to inspire others!

Have the courage to be whomever you are inside…let your inner beauty sparkle and grow ~ let it blossom and be seen by others ~ let your light shine and inspire!

Do what makes you happy, be good to others and enjoy your life.  It is your right.

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness….

Happy 4th Y’All!

xo

Gratitude Day 27 ~ Relish Life…

Journey. Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey,

and share our love with friends and family.

One day each of us will run out of tomorrows. Thomas S. Monson

We are all on this journey called life…together or apart, our journey doesn’t end as I believe we carry our dreams and memories with us so that even if we are far apart in death, we are close together in heart.  I am sad that my Dad has passed and as I awoke this morning, I had to think of what day it is…and then it hit me, it’s the first Monday without Dad and it brought tears to my eyes ~ because that is how he would have thought…and I am so much like him at times.

He counted the days, the times, the special moments ~ so many people have told me how he remembered their birthdays, anniversaries and special days and always called them ~ spreading good cheer.  He never wrote down any of these dates, he had them all in his head.  Somehow cataloged ~ and he could tell you all about their families, the relationships and how they intertwined.  He was a secret keeper I know, he knew others’ family secrets, but never broke that bond of silence.  I never appreciated this with enthusiasm until now and surely from the other side, he’s laughing now that I have realized and am appreciating who he was.

He didn’t know he was running out of his tomorrows ~ a lesson for us all.  The sadness comes in waves as do the tears and giggles of some of the memories I have of him.  I don’t want to be sad all the time because I’m a ‘glass is half full’ type of gal.

So I’m ending on a high note ~ this song is for you Dad…

You Can Call Me Al ~ uq-gYOrU8bA

I am grateful for Al.

xo

Gratitude Day 26 ~ Strength

Strength. Turn your face to the sun and shadows fall behind you.

We need strength now as we transition to getting used to not rushing to the hospital everyday, not worrying that every text or phone call could be ‘the one’ and learning to live without Dad.  There has been the utmost outpouring of support, stories and loving thoughts/prayers given to us which helps us continue to take the baby steps required in planning all that is needed for his memorial service etc.  But it’s hard…and unless you’ve experienced this part of growing up, you simply have no idea what you are missing…and quite frankly, stay that way please.

I liked this card because of Strength ~ but also because of turning towards the Sun ~ as I think we have a choice in how to remember those whom we loved.  You can turn towards the Sun and remember the Good in them or you can turn away and remember the sad, bad memories in the shadows.

Nobody is perfect (although secretly I think Dad thought he was!) ~ and so it is in truth that I say that I am choosing to remember the good times, the good memories and allow the bad ones to fall by the wayside, to exit the way many memories have gone via my chemo brain.  I figure I will keep my strength from faltering by basking in the beautiful memories of those around me, allowing their stories to bathe me in the love I had for my Dad.

Looking to the sun, allowing the shadows to fall behind…I think it’s the best way to be everyday.

Don’t you?

Thank you all for sharing your stories with me!

xo