Surviving Tilt-A-World

Have you been feeling it still?  That sense that everything is coming to peace by being cleared out?  For me, I feel like I’m riding turbulent waves with only a small life ring to keep me from drowning.  I have been talking with others who are feeling it as well.  Are you too?

It’s been going on for awhile now.  I wrote about it here at the end of August.  Some of what we’re experiencing with no rhyme or reason as to why are:

Turbulence in relationships

Malfunctioning/breaking of all types of items (locks included)

Miscommunications

Unexplained health problems

Insomnia

Exhaustion of body, mind and soul

Lack of feeling centered

Losses

Bad behaviors

Atmospheric/Climate abnormalities

Appliances, Computers, Electricity problems

Etc., Etc., Etc.

It’s a time for clearing out the old muck to begin again in a new way.  It’s a rearranging and re-balancing of the old stuck ways of thinking and being which causes this upheaval.  Whatever we haven’t dealt with in the past is now center-staging itself in plain sight in order to be dealt with once and for all, even if it’s not what we want to do at this time.

It’s been difficult for most of us.  It’s a matter of staying on course and allowing the flow of energy to take us where we need to heal.  Navigating the hills and valleys as we clear and heal isn’t for the faint of heart.  Staying centered and balanced feels like an arduous task, but we just have to keep on trying to recenter after each crisis.  Staying authentically true to ourselves, opening up those raw wounds to heal them and to forgive takes great effort.  Sleep is kindness to ourselves as it restores our depleting energies as we traverse this difficult time.

We can’t charge through this time quickly.  We can only take baby steps as each clearing comes which means that there’s no way to make it go any faster.  Hold on.  Go with the flow.  Be patient with yourself and others.  Don’t try to force things to work, but instead surrender to the healing.  I truly believe all will re-balance itself, maybe not in the short time we want it to, but yes, in time.  All in good time.

Hold on dear friends.  Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Rest.  Meditate.  Surrender and Grow.  Balance the yin and yang as best you can.  Hold onto trusted friends.  Count your blessings.  We are here for you!  Keep shining your heartlights!  We need more light!

Shine On!

xo

 

A Particular Wind

Menacing skies with clacking electrical lines

A particular wind is blowing today at more than 30 miles an hour through the farmland.   Inside we can hear the wind howling through the fireplace and outside the house, the wind is audibly howling as well.  The trees are bending and the electrical power lines are clacking together noisily (that’s a new one for me by the way).  It’s almost a little eery like yesterday, but there’s a blue sky behind the clouds which are moving away at a fast pace.

Can you see how the leaves are upturned by the wind? It’s really blowing here!

On the cusp of the atmospheric changes, this wind feels like it is blowing away all the debris (quite literally) mentally, emotionally and physically in order to pave the way for the new phase in our lives.  Thank goodness, right?

A little while later, the sun came out and the winds have moved the clouds a bit. This is the farmland where the geese hang out! No geese today!

The windy conditions helped the birds in flight! This hawk soared effortlessly for quite awhile above me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are you having crazy winds where you live today too?  How do they make you feel?

I feel lifted and (pun intended) blown away by the powers that be.  Grateful for the change of the season and for the gradual beneficial changes in my life.  I hope you had a lovely weekend as well!

Shine On!

xo

 

A Honeybee Came To Me

Recently my life has changed dramatically.  Divorce is final, we’ve closed on our home and we have moved to a new place.  So much upheaval physically, emotionally and mentally, but as I joke when people ask how we are faring, I say we are still upright which to me means we are still here, still walking on our paths and still getting up every morning to greet the dawn with gratitude.  Of course, that’s my description of what upright means!

I’ve continued my tradition of quiet prayer over coffee outside in the mornings before anyone else is up in my house.  Luckily for me, we have a small yard where I can sit and think among Mother Nature’s gifts.  While watching the birds, the small chipmunk who lives nearby who wanders around the patio and listening to the gentle awakenings of nature, I say my prayers and talk with God.

Friday morning began as usual, quietly sipping my coffee and feeling the gentle breeze blow the weeping willow nearby when suddenly a honeybee alighted on my shirt.  She didn’t scare me as she walked on my sleeve.  I looked at her and realized she was a honeybee with no stinger to injure me.  When was the last time I’d seen a honeybee so close up and why had she alighted on me?  Immediately, I thought that she was a spirit totem animal as I’ve had many instances when animals deliver messages to me.  So I looked it up and read what I could find.

Saturday morning began my quiet routine and again, the honeybee came to visit.  This time she landed on the cell phone in my hand.  I watched as she gingerly walked on my phone for about 5 minutes, just walking across it in circles, looking like she was sniffing it as if she were a dog.  Again, she made me smile and as quickly as she had appeared, she flew away.

Saturday night, I was outside again, enjoying the night sky, talking on the phone with a dear friend and who do you think came to visit again?  Yup!  My friendly honeybee alighted directly on my arm.  Her feet tickled my skin, but I remained still as she walked down my upper arm to my elbow and then flew away.

However, this morning, there was no visit, which I have to admit made me sad, as I was enjoying our little morning routine.  With spirit totem animals, there are messages to deliver via Mother Nature’s children and certainly, when we are aware and notice, the messages are delivered.

Have you ever been visited by an animal?  Do you know anything about totem spirit animals?  When was the last time you saw a honeybee?

Please share!

Shine On!

xo

Home For The Holidays

There’s no place like home for the holidays…does that phrase ring a bell?  Remind you of a holiday song from your past?  See below if that catchy tune is now playing in your mind.

The holidays are a happy time, but they can also be fraught with grief for some.  Personally, I have always adored Christmas, but lately, not so much.  For you see, many relationships in my life have changed in the last few years:  some have passed away, some have moved and some have slowly disappeared.  As I ready my home for the coming holidays, I’m reminded of how much has changed in my life and quite frankly, I am grieving.  There, I said it.  I’m telling you because I need a hug.  I know I’ll have the strength to get through this holiday season with a smile on my face and compassion in my heart.  I know I can do it because I’ve done it before and I will do it again.  But for this brief moment, my heart feels heavy and tears are silently making their way down my cheeks.

Do you ever feel this way during the holiday season?  Is there ever a time when you feel like you need a loving embrace to sustain you?  Do you grieve for what used to be?  For who used to be at your table?  For those who have passed or changed?

You are not alone my dear friends.  At one time or another on life’s journey, we will all be missing someone who is no longer in our lives for whatever reason and we grieve that loss…we find strength, we find courage and eventually we find a new normal and accept that the holidays are different.

My Christmas table will be missing some family this year.  Changes aren’t easy but with courage we can rise to any occasion and get through it.  Baby steps…one baby step at a time.  So prayers for you, prayers for me and may loving, holiday peace surround us all.  It matters that love surrounds your table.  Light your heartlight and open your home to love.

Shine On!

xo

(There’s No Place Like) Home For The Holidays ~ Perry Como

Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays,
‘Cause no matter how far away you roam,
When you pine for the sunshine of a friendly gaze,
For the holidays, you can’t beat home, sweet home.

I met a man who lives in Tennessee.
He was headin’ for, Pennsylvania, and some home-made pumpkin pie.
From Pennsylvania, folks are travelin’ down to Dixie’s sunny shore,
From Atlantic to Pacific, gee, the traffic is terrific.

Oh, there’s no place like home for the holidays,
‘Cause no matter how far away you roam,
If you want to be happy in a million ways,
For the holidays, you can’t beat home, sweet home.

Take a bus, take a train, go and hop an airplane,
Put the wife and kiddies in the family car,
For the pleasure that you bring when you make that doorbell ring,
No trip could be too far!

DP ~ Transforming My Life

You have Breast Cancer

On New Year’s Eve 2001, at 1:15pm, the above words were barely out of the mouth of the breast surgeon who had taken 17 biopsies of my lump when my life was forever changed in an instant.  A single piece of paper confirmed the pathology of the lump and my life was immediately mapped out by science and not by me.  All of the plans I had laid with such good intentions went down the drain in that single moment.  My life, my body, my relationships, my future were suddenly not as I’d expected them to be and surprisingly, I was not that surprised.

For you see, I found the lump in November, but between doctor appointments, mammograms and life, the biopsy was not done until the day after Christmas that year.  The day after I hosted Christmas dinner with my husband and our families.  My last non-cancerous Christmas.  And the night before the news was given to me that I had Breast Cancer, I had dreamed that I had it and so when she told me the next day, I wasn’t really surprised.  In fact, I was so calm that she told me I was in shock and that I needed to come back the day after New Years so that she could deliver the future plans of how the doctors would proceed in treating me.  But I was calm, I knew. I heard everything she said and what hit me most was that I was not going to be able to return to teaching.  That’s what stuck in my head.  Not the lumpectomy and subsequent double mastectomy, not the ACT type of chemotherapy which makes all of your hair fall out, not the 6 weeks of radiation to follow.  Nope, it was that I wouldn’t be finishing out the year in my school.  Strange isn’t it what we think when confronted by this type of news?

My life took on a surreal aura after that ~ one that included many tears, much anxiety and a deeper understanding of myself.  I had never been the strong type or so I thought, but when confronted with the possibility of not being around for my boys ages 1 and 3, like an angry Mama Tiger I launched into fighting for my life.  Most of my family didn’t believe I could endure the journey of what I was about to embark on as I have always been a bit weak with pain.  But somehow, knowing that my husband believed I could do it and knowing that he would stand by my side and endure it with me, I was able to conjure up the inner strength needed to live and to supersede all expectations.

It is that priceless gift that my hubby gave me that changed us in an instant as well for this cancer journey hasn’t been easy for either one of us.  The patient has a tough time enduring the treatments, but it’s the spouse/significant other/caretaker who is the silent unsung hero.  It’s my hubby who knows what goes on after all of the family goes home.  It’s HE who holds me when I cry and I’ve just had enough.  He’s the one who understands and it’s to him that I look to for strength when mine is depleted.  It’s HIS face that I search for when I wake up after every surgery (and I’ve endured 15 so far with more to go).

Life goes on for everyone else after time which is good because who wants to be constantly reminded that you’ve endured Breast Cancer?  It’s bad enough to be reminded every morning when I shower and dress or when I have to be tested every 6 months or when I have health complications from it.  Breast Cancer affects life daily after diagnosis ~ it’s in every part of my life ~ even though I try very hard to ignore it.

I refuse to say that it was the best thing that ever happened to me ~ there’s been a bit of a scuttlebutt in the breast cancer world recently with that line.  However, I will say that it enriched my life.  It made me dig deeper into my soul.  I can never go back to the girl that I was on 12/30/01, but I don’t think that I’d want to now.  This girl of 8/6/2013 is a better person ~ psychologically, emotionally, spiritually ~ a better parent, a more loving partner and a most grateful human being.  I am still in the process of accepting the new me ~ it’s a challenge some days, but it’s one that I will continue to work my little Tiger Mama ass off in order to triumph!

You have to find the good in every situation.

Who knew ~ sometimes change is necessary!

Shine On!

xo

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Daily Prompt: Everything Changes

by michelle w. on August 6, 2013

Walking down the street, you encounter a folded piece of paper on the sidewalk. You pick it up and read it and immediately, your life has changed. Describe this experience.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us TRANSFORMATION.

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/08/06/daily-prompt-transformation/