Tag Archive | change your thinking

Teenagers In The New School Year

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Friends, you’ve read my A grade classroom rule from when I was a teacher.  You’ve read my Parenting post which may or may not have made you angry or defensive.  My intention is to include you in the hug I want to give all the parents/students/teachers at the start of the new year.

Dear Teenager,

Well, you’re next in line for my posts and I’m going to be honest, like I was in earlier posts because this is all about you in the end.  This is your life and you will either listen or turn away.  I won’t try to control you, but what I will try is to steer you towards victory because that is where you belong.

Your journey begins on the first day of school.  But you and I both know that it began when school ended last year.  Because what you did over the summer (or didn’t do) makes a difference.  Did you read the assigned book(s)?  Did you finish the summer math packet you are supposed to turn in at the beginning of the year?  Please tell me you did.  And if you didn’t, then please get it done!  Those assignments are most likely going to be graded and if we’re going to keep your A, they need to be completed.  No excuses!

I hope you like your teachers this year.  But if you don’t, please don’t allow your feelings to bring your grade down.

Example:  My son didn’t like one of his teachers at all a few years ago.  He just didn’t like the class – didn’t like the subject, didn’t like the way she taught it, didn’t like the content and didn’t like anything about it!  But he needed the class and had to pass it.  Because he was angry, he didn’t want to work for her and didn’t complete his assignments.  In his head, he was annoying her by not working.  But when I explained that he’s giving her the easy way out by simply throwing a zero in the grade book for no assignment done, he was making her life easier.  Instead, I suggested that he do the homework, turn it in and make her work to grade it!  Ok, I know you are probably shaking your head saying, And he fell for that?  But he did fall for it.  He understood that he was bothering her by doing the work and it ended up giving him a great grade when the year was over because in his mind he was consistently annoying her since he found her to be so annoying!  And yes, he knew all along what I was doing, but he also found a way to change his thinking and not hurt his grade!  Funny thing is, he ended up liking the class in the end because he gave it a chance to be liked!

It’s all about your perception.  Did you know that?  What you perceive when it comes to school is a choice that you make every day.  You choose to do the work or not.  You choose to study or not.  You choose to act rambunctiously or not.  You’ve got the power to make your life better or worse.  Choose wisely!  You don’t have to continue down a path you don’t like anymore.  Change direction!  Start to do your work and annoy your teachers!  You never know what may happen that’s good!  At least you’ll have good grades!  And if you’re bored at home, you’ll now have something to do.

This is your life and you’ve got to live it, but don’t throw away opportunities to make your life better.  Getting good grades and learning everyday are win-wins for all!  Learning something new everyday grows your brain.  Getting good grades opens doors to all sorts of opportunities.  Making connections with your teachers and getting involved in clubs and/or sports, helps to  broaden your life interests and expands your connections and friend group.

But what if you’re shy?  Or feel you are not liked?  Or you’re a loner?  What if they bully you?   You feel out of place?  You have a hard home life?  Nobody understands you.

Come here dear one – let me hug you.  Let me walk beside you on this path.  You are not alone even though you feel that way now.  Many of us have felt that way too, but we are still here.  We are here to help you go through those life lessons too.

Reach out to trusted friends or faculty members.  Go see the nurse or the school counselor.  They are trained to help you through these hard times.  I know it’s hard to ask for help, but it’s your life and you deserve all the help you can get.  Talk with your parents if you can.  Speak from your heart.  Be honest.  Tell them what’s going on.

I want you to know that I feel for you.  I have children of my own and they tell me what you have to deal with on a daily basis.  That’s why I want to hug you for all you have going on daily, in addition to school.   Life has become more complicated than we realize as teachers and parents and adults.  But that’s no excuse for you to not do your best or choose to be the best you can be!

If you’re having a tough time with your parents, let me explain a bit.  It’s not necessarily you, but sometimes it’s your parent who is projecting their stuff because your parent is frustrated with the current circumstances.  You need to elevate your game and work harder.  This is your life so you owe it to yourself to do your best.  I want to remind you  that nobody’s perfect and that your parents are trying to do their best under the circumstances, but that you need to do your part as well.    I want to remind you that your  parents’ frustration with you is real and you need to be mindful of it.  Your job as a student is to work to your potential and be the best you can be.  But that the criticism you are  hearing in your parent’s voice is more out of frustration and not knowing how to help you.  They do love you a lot!  They are trying to understand what’s going on, but it’s hard for them.  Share with them what’s going on!  Tell them if you can’t see the board or if you have trouble remembering facts.  Tell them if you’re the last one picked for a team for gym and how it makes you feel (I was that girl myself.  I know how it feels.)  Perhaps they will understand too.

You are dealt the cards of life.  Each of us has our own set to play and nobody’s life is perfect.  No matter what you think, let me repeat, nobody’s life is perfect.  The best lesson in life is to know what your cards are and how to play them for the best life.  I don’t mean cheating with your cards either or taking the easy way out and turning to drugs because you can’t deal with your situation.  Nope.  There are other choices that are healthier and better for you.  I know it feels hard at times.  But remember,

You matter.  You count.  You are worthy of your special place here in this world.  Believe me.  The universe and God don’t make mistakes. 

I’m sure some may have extenuating circumstances not discussed in this note.  But the same advice applies to you – reach out!  Ask for help!  There are many people that are in place to help you on this journey of life!  Look around!  We’re all here ready to lend a helping hand, to give advice, to share a hug, to applaud good effort and most importantly, to help you up if you fall down.

So why do you feel like you’re doing all the work here?  Because it’s your life!  It’s YOUR life and together we are going to make it the BEST it can be!  But we all need your involvement in order to make it work!  Teachers, parents, adults, friends, and faculty are all here to support you in your life  But you have to let us in to help you along the way.

Choose wisely dear teenagers.  Make us work to give you the best life possible!  You deserve it!  Have the BEST YEAR YET!  Big hugs and lots of love from me to you! ♥

Shine On!

xo

 

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Suspend Your Limiting Beliefs

suspendyourlimitingbeliefs

Have you ever had a moment where you catch yourself thinking, “I can’t do that” or “That can’t happen because….” or the dreaded, “They don’t understand the complexity of the situation, that’s impossible!” or anything else along those lines?

I have encountered many facets of those limiting beliefs in my lifetime as I think many of us have.  We forget, in the chaotic moment of fear, that there are limitless possibilities to any situation and the outcome does not have to only be what we project or believe could happen.  No matter how convinced we are that we know how the experience will end or how the person will react or what will happen, the fact remains that we don’t know for certain.  So many factors come into play in any given situation and it is our job to suspend our limiting beliefs to welcome the infinite possibilities that life provides.

We have a choice in every situation.  We can choose hope or despair, limited beliefs or allowing God and the Universe to tap into a new experience.  It is in making the conscious choice to choose hope and allow, that provides power to the situation, to the life lesson and to the mending of relationships.  It is not that you are powerless though.  It is that you are, in affect, joining forces with the Universe and God to learn and to grow with your new life lessons.

Failure is a dreaded word, but in not having a situation come out as we want it to, we often declare it a failure.  However, failure is not necessarily what it is.  Sometimes, failure is simply a way of opening a door to something new that had one succeeded the way we believed, we would not have been afforded this opportunity!  There are life lessons all around us to be learned and many doors of opportunity remain locked when we do not change our limiting beliefs that ‘it must be this way‘ in order for our lives to be deemed successful or good in our eyes.

Time and again, I found myself knocking on a closed door of what I thought was failure, forgetting as the adage states, “when one door closes, another opens” or “when God closes a door, he opens a window.”  Spiritually, I am letting go of my preconceived notions of success and failure and thus allowing infinite possibilities to flow without restriction.  I’m suspending my limiting beliefs!

It’s a process as you can imagine and a change in outdated thinking that feels a bit uncomfortable as I stretch the limits of my own mind.  But happily, I can report, it is helping me to gain perspective on all sorts of situations that I had once declared in my head, failures.  With newfound thoughts, I see how much better my life is as I have eased into uncharted territories that I would have never had the courage to enter if I stayed small in my thinking.  There’s a bliss to be had in this life!  Let’s go and enjoy it!

Shine On!

xo

Lucky You

luckyyou

Do you believe in luck?

Full Definition of luck by Merriam-Webster is:

  1. 1 a :  a force that brings good fortune or adversity

  2. b :  the events or circumstances that operate for or against an individual

Curiously, I believe in luck and yet, I don’t, which is a conundrum on St. Patrick’s Day even though I have a smidgen of Irish in me.  I believe in fate.  I believe in free will.  I believe in karma.  I believe in the ability to change our ways of thinking in order to change our lives.  I believe in angelic help.

And I believe in you…and I believe in me.

What do you believe?  Have you ever sat for a moment to ponder your beliefs, to write them out and then peruse them?  Do they still stand stoically rooted in your childhood beliefs as they were downloaded to you from your past or have they changed over time, expanding the limits to an expanse of limitlessness?

Beliefs from childhood can be limiting or limitless depending on our circumstances and what is downloaded to us from our parental figures and from those whom we looked up to as children.  As we grow, we learn and expand our thinking or we can stay stuck in those beliefs that were given to us from the start.  It’s a choice to see ourselves as limited or limitless.  It’s a work in progress as we develop our mindset to raise our personal vibration in the world at large.

Perhaps it’s that old adage of seeing the glass 1/2 empty or 1/2 full or with gratitude for even having a glass.  Today in honor of feeling lucky, I’d love to hear from you.  Are you lucky?  Do you believe in luck?  What do you believe?

Lucky you, you can choose your thinking!

Shine On!

xo

 

Harmony Begins With You!

harmonybeginswithyouHarmony Begins With You!

Have you ever felt out of sorts?  It feels like nothing seems to be going right in your life?  All of your endeavors appear fruitless?  Your relationships are skewed, finances in disarray?  Health problems plague you?  Even the weather and your plans aren’t cooperating?  Well, there may be an easy explanation for the confusion you are enduring.

Harmony begins with you.

It’s a simple solution, but some may balk at the notion that the chaos you are experiencing is manifested by the inharmonious thoughts in your own mind.  Perhaps, I can show you what I mean.

Let’s experiment.  Today, let’s look carefully at our thoughts, actions and words.  Try for 15 minutes to notice what you are thinking, writing, believing, saying and doing.  What negativity do you observe?  You may find your mind is bombarding you with worry, fear, regret, anger and resentment.  These feelings manifest themselves in your daily life, wreaking havoc in every plan and experience.  It’s a vicious cycle that only you can change.  And the best news is, You Can!

Back in 2012, I wrote about a favorite book that I reread when I need a gentle reminder to clear myself and realign my thinking.  Here is the post.  At the time, I even did a series of posts on Florence Scovel Shinn’s books, taking tidbits which I felt highlighted the essence of what she was writing and sharing what I felt pertained to most of us at that time in my life.

Recently I picked up the book again to re-ignite the harmony which I felt was missing.  Many of her affirmations jumped out at me, but one in particular resonates and I think it might be helpful to you.

I am poised, harmonious and magnetic.

So my prescription to you, should find yourself in the above situations is this:

Rx ~ Read, write, speak aloud the affirmation above today 10x.

Be grateful for your poise, harmony and magnetism.

Simply take a moment out of your day at small intervals and repeat the Rx.

Do this for a few days and see how your mind/life responds.

Be aware when you are thinking negatively.  Stay conscious as you go about your day.  Think twice before spewing anger and instead, simply repeat the affirmation.  It may feel funny at first, but feel free to try.  You may just notice that harmony begins to enrich your life; pathways open, you feel better, opportunities arise and you are enveloped in a peaceful embrace by the Universe.

Let me know what you think!  Have you ever heard of Florence Scovel Shinn?

Share below when you feel a shift in your thinking.

Shine On!

xo

Rule Your Mind

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“Rule your mind or it will rule you.” – Horace

Need I say more?  Giggle Giggle!  You know what I mean don’t you?  Stop worrying!  Stop fretting!  Stop allowing chaos to capture your mind!  You are the ruler of your mind.  When chaos enters, show it the door out!  Worrying about situations that we cannot or even those that we can control does nothing to help you, only to harm you for as you worry, your body reacts.  Your body gets agitated, cells become nervous as well, giving off negativity and allowing dis-ease to integrate itself into your healthy cells, thus making your healthy body sick.  The degree of sickness often correlates with the amount of stress/worry/upset your mind has been carrying.

I realize that there are situations that are worrisome.  I have endured plenty, as have we all.  But if you can take a few moments here and there during the day to simply allow peace to enter your brain, relax your body, hand over the worries to the Divine, to God or to your Higher Power, then you allow the cells in your body to calm themselves as well, in order to find a tidbit of peace in which to heal and to hold that place of health.

Worrying does not change the situation at all.  There is no amount of worry that will change any type of situation you are enduring.  Worry simply put, works against your health and your wellness of body, mind and spirit.  This is something that you can control dear friends.  You can show anxiety the door and shut it tightly.  Do not open the door when worry knocks.  Ignore it.  Stay on your path of health.  Keep your mind at peace.  Continue to see the good in your situation (and it may take work), but you can do it.  It’s possible to change the way you look at your situation simply by feeding it gratitude for the gifts you already have.

Problems with health, wealth and relationships can change when you change the way you are looking at them and reacting with those situations.  The changes happen in your mind and soul and then goodness can spill out into your body, your vibrational energy and your whole life.  What you give out, comes back to you.  The caveat is that if you are focused intently on the worry, the anxiety or the sadness, you are blinded to recognizing the opportunities for light, love and happiness.  In short, you may miss out on the health, wealth and connections you have in your life.

We are not all islands.  We are connected as energy to everyone and everything in our lives.  As I’ve been quoted before, “use your power for good,” and the rest will follow suit.  Be bright, be your innate good self and allow your essence of happy to perfume the air around you.  Raise your vibrations, release the anxiety and worry.  Embrace the peace which comes from within when your mind is tranquil.

There’s no magic pill, my friends.  There are only gentle reminders of inspiration, positivity and loving light that heal you inside.  Release, rest and regenerate for we only have this moment.  We are only given this present of now for sure.  It’s what you do with that present that counts.  Do not waste your gift on idle worry.  Rule your mind with kindness and loving affection.  You are all in my prayers.  As always, I embrace your loving essence and I give you mine.

Allow the precious gift of calm to envelope your mind, heart, body and soul today and everyday.

Shine On!

xo

 

 

Change Your Life in 2015

 Changeyourlife

Only I can change my life.

No one can do it for me.

~ Carol Burnett

Recently I spent some time with some ladies who are in their 80’s.  One thing I learned quickly is that the saying, ‘old age isn’t for sissies’ is very true.   Growing older isn’t easy.  There are limits ~ physically, mentally and emotionally which directly affect our lives.   And we are in charge of them when we are younger.  What you do today and everyday directly affects your older self!

I know fear.  I know uncertainty and I know that hoarding myself within the limits of my mind does not serve me.   What does serve me is to continue to grow, to push myself beyond my comfort zones in order to expand my knowledge, my light and my life.  It is easy to be complacent and to not push ourselves to experience the uncertainty of life.  Stay home, muddle your brain with the goo of nothingness and while perhaps contentment remains, there is nothing but the blahness of everyday routine.  Not that I’m disagreeing with this type of living because I realize that it is a choice for some people.  But it doesn’t help your mind, body, spirit to continue to grow and to expand which helps your life to flourish, even in your 80’s and beyond.

Does that make sense to you?  How do you feel about ‘old age’?  Do you fear it or will you embrace that next chapter in life?  Will you be one of those who are running marathons, teaching yoga or dancing the watusi?

You have the power to change your life, one baby step at a time.  Dislike where you are right now, then change how you are living ~ expand your mind, read, write, experience life, connect with others, and be in touch with your inner self.  You get to choose how to live every moment of everyday!

Happiness with your life is a gift you give yourself!

Enjoy The Presents of Presence!

Shine On!

xo

 

The Trouble With Spherical Thinking

 

sphericalthinking

Spherical Thinking is less easily defined than Linear Thinking.   I think that in order to process what I’m trying to explain we need to look at the photo above which represents a time line of your life, your linear thinking life, punctuated with spheres representing spherical thinking.  As you step forward on your life’s journey, you continue to encompass being a part of timeless presence in which you connect most fully with yourself and others.  I am not an expert on Spherical Thinking and I probably use the term loosely to indicate the way I think, so please take this into account.  To me, spherical thinking is defined as being aware of the life connections between myself and others with each step on my own life’s journey.  It is to ‘see’ without consciously stopping to look around and to innately ‘feel’ how my actions, inactions and words can and do affect others and to modify if needed in order to hold peace in my heart.  It’s a oneness, a connective spiritual alliance which grasps the concept of presence (past, present, future) and the basic concept of love (loving ourselves and others).  It’s a conscious choice and effort to engage spherically all the time.

Truthfully, I have yet to be able to live this way 24/7 but I continue to strive to on this life journey.  For me spherical thinking also requires that we live ‘outside the (nothing) box’ and allow feelings to surface in order to clear out wounds from long ago.  We live in the present time, (with knowledge that time is limitless, so our past, present and future can connect swiftly and easily, all at the same time to give us a bigger picture).  We are also aware of what’s going on around us for the ones with whom we are familiar.  We can ‘see’ their heartlight even behind the closed doors that they present to the world.  We ‘know’ the hurting that they are experiencing and we adjust our own perceptions in order to not ‘push buttons.’  This makes the connections easier for them (and us) without sacrificing our own integrity.  By monitoring our own actions, inactions and words, we connect more easily with others and find a common ground which allows for healing.

Oh my, does any of this make sense to you?  I feel like I’ve dropped us all down the rabbit hole and that I’m not explaining myself properly!  Bottom line is this:  I imagine spherical thinking to be a way in which we live presently as much as we can, taking into account our connections to ourselves and to others with whom we come into contact.  We allow the feeling of oneness without ego to intrude into our thinking and we live a lifetime with bliss, gratitude and love.

The Trouble with Spherical Thinking is that we can get caught up in the vortex of our own spherical tornado and get lost in the shuffle without focus.  Linear thinking is supercharged focused living, whereas spherical thinking albeit focused, also deals with emotion, life and connections which are blurry.  The trick here is to keep the focus of moving forward all the while with a spherical mind-set.

Society for the most part is linear driven and so to stand out spherically is to be looked upon as different.  There’s a bit of fearlessness in spherical thinking.  To voluntarily move outside the limits of your life and the self-imposed boundaries that we have set, is to be unconventional in some others’ minds and that difference, that divergence can be misunderstood.

It’s like the linear thinkers are the hunters and the spherical thinkers are the gatherers of life ~ each type is important to our world.  That’s not to say that it’s gender typical.  It’s simply how the brains work.  It can even be that there are combinations of linear and spherical thinking in your life, times when you change from one type of thinking to another depending on the circumstances.  It isn’t that one way of thinking is right or wrong.  It simply is and we are all different in the way we function and tolerate thinking out of our comfort zones.  That’s part of what makes us so unique and interesting when we connect with each other.  Each person shares a bit with the other person’s heartlight to enrich our own being and to enrich theirs in a communal way.  Sometimes what we get is less/more than we give which allows energy to flow more precisely.  We receive what we need at that moment, with the full knowledge and understanding that when we ebb, more flows to us and vice versa.  It is trusting in the oneness that makes the energy of spherical thinking continue to expand.

Filling life with kindness and compassion is a habit which I intend to keep.  This is not to say that I don’t get frustrated, angry or resentful, but the more I learn about myself, the increased awareness allows me to let go and release the commonality of anger and to represent a more loving, forgiving, happier life.  I am finding that this serves me well with relationships, business and life in general.

So, tell me…Are you a Linear Thinker?  A Spherical Thinker?  Or a Combination?

Shine On!

xo