Calm. Sometimes God calms the storm, sometimes He calms the sailor (Superwoman).
It’s been 12 weeks since my Dad passed away…12 weeks! I can hardly believe that 3 full months have passed and that I’m still ticking off every Thursday afternoon as another week. I saw this card and thought it was perfect for me because I’ve been feeling very stormy lately. There is much going on in my life in addition to my Dad’s passing and being in charge of the subsequent details of wrapping up a human life’s affairs and business. I am still in the midst of the eye of the storm.
However, I had an epiphany yesterday ~ so similar to this card that I had to write today. You see, my stormy seas aren’t going away any time soon because there is still much to do for Dad, for my family and I am still healing from my surgery 2 weeks ago and have another scheduled for October. The seas are really choppy for me right now, testing me and tossing me around with tear-filled moments. So I’m asking for God/Universe/Spirit to calm them, but more fervently, I am asking for calm for me. You see, I’ve ridden stormy seas before with my breast cancer and other life challenges…I see them as a kind of test that we are put through…and this one is again, a test of a huge magnitude.
When I sit quietly which I have been doing more often lately now that the kids are back in school, I realize that my plate is overflowing. I expect a lot from myself and in this moment, there is no exception to that rule. In fact, before my epiphany, I was unable to see that perhaps I am not quite the Superwoman I expect myself to be. In fact, there have been times recently that I have been full-blown disappointed in myself for not keeping up, for not doing it all, for not being able to clone myself into the 5 different roles I need to be 24/7!
I’m re-reading a compilation by one of my favorite authors now…and later on, I’ll tell you all about her, but her method is simple and it works. In the hustle and bustle of these seas, I’d allowed myself to get tossed and not navigate my own life. I hadn’t asked for help from anyone. I’d simply loaded myself up until I crumbled. Isn’t that the way many of us do it? Superwomen/Supermen…we just keep taking on until we can no longer fit anything more without drowning.
Well, I’m not drowning ~ nope ~ not even close! I took hold of the rudder this weekend and decided to steer my own ship through these waters. I cried “UNCLE!” and gave it up to God/Universe/Spirit. I handed it over ~ cast the burden so to speak ~ so that I could allow myself healing time. I need to concentrate on growing my ‘self-love’ which I’d tossed by the wayside in the turmoil.
“I cast the burden on the Christ within and I am free to live in peace.”
Sound familiar to anyone?