Tag Archive | baby steps

Saying Goodbye To A House

house

Saying goodbye has always been hard for me.  It’s always been that way my whole life.  To let go is a right of passage and even though I’m letting go of a home which was never mine, it’s just making me sad.  I guess it’s the final part of an era in my Aunts’ lives and it’s breaking my heart.

I can’t figure out why I am so sad for honestly I am so very happy that the closing is scheduled and we have successfully gotten it into selling condition after all that we had to do.  But there’s a small part of me which can’t stop crying for the bereft feeling inside that I can’t label.

I wrote this a few weeks ago and simply couldn’t post it.  I was intensely sad to let go of an era ~ not so much for me, but for my family.  But now it’s a few weeks later and I’ve got some clarity.  Isn’t that always the way ~ get into the observer mode in your life, let a little time pass and voila, you understand all the tears, you can deal with the grief in a better way and you can let go of whatever it was you were holding onto back then.

Time heals by lessening hurts.  Although I don’t think some hurts ever truly heal or for that matter, some emptinesses never can be fully filled.  But we can move on, we can take baby steps towards healing and we can fill the emptiness with healing love.

Shockingly, I think it helps when people have Alzheimer’s Disease and Dementia in some cases like this one.  They simply don’t remember the life they had a few months ago.  There doesn’t seem to be any hurt or sadness in the present moment, there is only presence, love and happiness.  Sure we’ve had times whereby my family members get confused with the past and present, but a gentle change in direction of conversations or a redirect in a kind way, helps immensely.

Shine On!

xo

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Remembrance on All Saint’s Day

angels

Today is All Saint’s Day on the Catholic calendar.  It coincides with my deceased father’s birthday which makes the day one of remembrance for me.  I think of all those who have passed before me and I took a moment for each of them this morning when I awoke to say a prayer for them.  I think it’s important to remember those who have gone before us and the gifts that they have given to us, the lessons we learned and the knowledge that we now have because of our experiences with them.

A new month for me is a beginning, just like each dawn heralds a new day and another chance to begin again.  Peacefully I lay my head on the pillow at night, resting my brain and allowing whatever foibles of the day to be forgiven.  I arise in the mornings with a fresh slate to do the best I can for myself and everyone else with whom I come into contact.

It is a blessing to be here today as it is everyday.  I am grateful as I am sure you are too to be able to breathe, to live and to love.  Sometimes it’s hard work to get through the day, but at the end of it, I hope that you find a soft, comfortable place to lay your head, your heart and your mind.  Today, I am reminded to communicate with my soul and with others on a soul to soul level for each of us carries the baggage of life experiences.  Oftentimes, at least for me, I find I forget to reconnect my heartstrings to my soul’s essence, to find gratitude in the experiences I’ve been delivered and to look for the blessings in each and every moment.

So today, take my hand…let’s walk baby steps towards the light.  Let’s remember those who have passed with gratitude for their heartlights.  Let’s connect with those who are here on Earth and appreciate them.  Let’s smile, laugh and love all those souls.  Let’s be the peacekeepers here on Earth.  Let’s look to the Heavens with our heartlights shining and embrace the love that is ours by Divine Right.  Let’s be in this moment, filled with peaceful loving energy and know in our hearts that we are embraced by God’s light and love.

Shine On!

xo

P.S.  And don’t forget to say, Rabbit, Rabbit! ♥

Change Your Life in 2015

 Changeyourlife

Only I can change my life.

No one can do it for me.

~ Carol Burnett

Recently I spent some time with some ladies who are in their 80’s.  One thing I learned quickly is that the saying, ‘old age isn’t for sissies’ is very true.   Growing older isn’t easy.  There are limits ~ physically, mentally and emotionally which directly affect our lives.   And we are in charge of them when we are younger.  What you do today and everyday directly affects your older self!

I know fear.  I know uncertainty and I know that hoarding myself within the limits of my mind does not serve me.   What does serve me is to continue to grow, to push myself beyond my comfort zones in order to expand my knowledge, my light and my life.  It is easy to be complacent and to not push ourselves to experience the uncertainty of life.  Stay home, muddle your brain with the goo of nothingness and while perhaps contentment remains, there is nothing but the blahness of everyday routine.  Not that I’m disagreeing with this type of living because I realize that it is a choice for some people.  But it doesn’t help your mind, body, spirit to continue to grow and to expand which helps your life to flourish, even in your 80’s and beyond.

Does that make sense to you?  How do you feel about ‘old age’?  Do you fear it or will you embrace that next chapter in life?  Will you be one of those who are running marathons, teaching yoga or dancing the watusi?

You have the power to change your life, one baby step at a time.  Dislike where you are right now, then change how you are living ~ expand your mind, read, write, experience life, connect with others, and be in touch with your inner self.  You get to choose how to live every moment of everyday!

Happiness with your life is a gift you give yourself!

Enjoy The Presents of Presence!

Shine On!

xo

 

Moving Mountains

mountain“The man who moves a mountain begins

by carrying away small stones.” – Confucius

Do you need inspiration for the week ahead?  How about an easy way to get what you want?  It’s simple.

1.  Choose the mountain.

2.  Start by carrying away small stones.

3.  Don’t stop until your mountain is moved.

Shine On!

xo

Daily Prompt ~ Changes!

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Change is beautifully inevitable

Daily Prompt: Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

You need to make a major change in your life. Do you make it all at once,

cold turkey style, or incrementally?

For me, changes have never been subtle in my life.  They’ve arrived cold turkey style and left me scrambling to start swimming in order to not drown under the tsunami of change.  Many of the changes took me a long time to come to terms with as some of them were life altering as many changes can be.  Take for instance being diagnosed with an illness such as cancer ~ or being told of the death of a loved one.  Those changes are life altering in and of themselves and they are changes which do not allow for a u-turn in the road of life.  You just have to keep swimming with the tide afterwards.

So I have turned to the cold turkey style of change as my comfort zone in life even though it may take me baby steps in time to allow for the adjustment that the change brings so in that case, I guess my answer is both incrementally and cold turkey!  The change itself, is cold turkey style, but the adjustment which occurs after it, is incremental.  Does that make sense?

For example, when I had my double mastectomy due to breast cancer, even though I was reconstructed in the OR so that I wouldn’t awaken without some type of mound on my chest, the change was most definitely cold turkey style.  There is nothing like falling asleep with my own soft breasts only to awaken with hard, unmoving and cold lumps called tissue expanders under the skin where previously there was warmth.  It took me a long time to be able to change my thoughts, my feelings about myself and find a new normal in accepting my new body, life and scars.  And I won’t say it is easy because it’s not, but I will say it is do-able and this gal who I am now, has a much richer life than before she was diagnosed in 2001.

Even when I was losing my hair due to the ACT chemotherapy that I was taking, I opted to cut off my own hair cold turkey and then incrementally go bald!  Once my hair began coming out in clumps in the shower which is an emotional roller coaster ride even though I knew it was going to happen, I decided to take control over my life and in turn, over the breast cancer that riddled my body.  With a bottle of champagne in one hand and my hair festooned with pink ribbon pony tails, my husband and I celebrated my taking control over my cancer.  Celebratory swigs bonded us as I carefully cut off the pony tails to my scalp, holding the clumps of hair by the pink ribbons.  I remember with the first cut that I couldn’t’ stop giggling because what woman in her right mind takes a pair of scissors to her head and chops off a clump of her hair?  I mean really?  But I did it and it was freeing!  Oh so freeing!

I took off about 10 pony tails (which I still have 2 of my original hair) and looked into the mirror.  All was fun and joyous until I realized that I had big clumps of missing hair on my head.  My gentle and sweet husband to whom I am still so grateful to be married, kissed and held me and then proceeded to cut my hair into a really short pixie style a la Mia Farrow.  (Thank goodness he wasn’t drinking as much champagne as I was that day!)

When he was finished, we looked into the bathroom mirror together and he held me ~ cradling me with his love ~ and he told me that ‘this too shall pass’ for which I believed him.

The next morning, my pillow looked as if a cat had slept on it as it was covered with my pixie short hairs which broke my heart.  So that night, my husband buzzed my head so that I wouldn’t have to awaken with the sadness of looking at my pillow and it was better for me.  Done ~ cold turkey ~ and I felt as though I could move on with my wig, my scarves and my hats.

I have walked through hell and have kept walking for which I am so grateful and I believe that’s why I write my blog ~ because I want to inspire and be inspired by all of you.  For you see, change is inevitable in our lives, so we have to keep evolving, keep flowing with our lives and keep taking baby steps forward.  We can change our course of direction at any time, but we can’t go backwards.  We can only stand still when we need to rest and then begin again.

What makes the changes easier is when we allow ourselves to connect with others on this lifetime journey.  Taking hold of a hand which is offered to you eases the transition of change.  It’s in those moments when we realize that we are all connected here and that change can be beautiful.  Keep smiling!

Shine On!

xo

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2013/02/04/daily-prompt-changes/

Storm’s a brewin’

Lightning, Thunder, Stormy Seas…

The last few days I’ve been suffering from a migraine which usually means the barometer is changing and it has been.  We’ve been having some thunderstorms, rain, sun and unusual weather.  As I sit here writing this post, it’s intermittently been raining cats and dogs one minute, with thunderous clouds and loud, rolling thunder and then suddenly the sky switches to bright sunshine with the quiet roll of thunder in the background.  In fact, I feel like it’s like me these days…sunshine with a touch of raincloud followed by a bit of thunder.

But I digress because I wanted to post about change and how difficult it can be on the body, the mind and others around us.  I think this is where my inner and outer thunderclouds have originated.  I’m on a changing cycle I think and it’s a bit stormy here for me as I go through the changes.  I’m a bit daunted to be honest by the unknown ahead, but having delved into the unknown before, I am shoring up my courage to keep taking baby steps.

The outer thunder is just the careless roar of others which I can deal with although I’d prefer calm, sun-filled moments.  But that’s ok for me.  I’ve been through far worse.  The inner thunder is more treacherous to me and having experienced it before, it leaves me a little shaky these days.  Nothing like a touch of the unknown to scare me a bit.

I remember when I was first diagnosed, I was afraid to cry.  Imagine being afraid to cry!?  But I was afraid that if I started to cry, I’d never stop.  Now I know that sounds silly, but to me, it was perfectly logical.  I was unable to mourn the loss of my breasts because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to stop crying about it.  So I held the pain inside until I almost burst.  Then a very dear friend told me not to be afraid to cry because eventually I’d stop…and those simple words, ‘eventually you’ll stop’ made all the difference in the world to me.  And the shift happened.

I cried for the loss of my breasts, for the time I spent in chemo, radiation, in hospitals, alone…I cried for the time I worried that I wouldn’t see my boys become teenagers.  I cried through sad movies, silly commercials and any true life story article or movie or book I could put my hands on.  It was like I needed that reason to cry and not the reason that I had in my own life and heart.  But through allowing those tears to escape me, I felt the weight of the sadness lifting from my soul and my heart.  It was when I allowed myself to cry, I was able to heal my heart and begin to take baby steps again.

It’s been a busy 8 weeks since my Dad passed and I’ve not had a lot of time to mourn the loss.  I know all about the grieving process having endured it when I had breast cancer 10 years ago.  I’ve been moving along through the 7 steps, only to stagger now.  But in the thundercloud where I am presently, it’s only fitting that a storm’s a brewin’ because I think many changes have occurred in the last 8 weeks of my life…and I just have to keep my thoughts on the prize of a sparkling rainbow!

Cheers to fears, tears and thunderclouds…

for they make the Rainbows that much sweeter!

xo

Bumps in the Road

Amazingly Awesome Wisdom from a Friend

Sometimes there are speed bumps on the road of life.

And sometimes you just have to speed up, catch a little air and yell “Wahooo!”

Now that we’ve got our imaginations revving and some goals a’brewing, we can continue on the road of life, one step at a time!  Stepping out on the road begins the journey that is going to enrich our lives…one baby step at a time!

I love this card because sometimes when we are following our dreams, our road may not always be smooth.  We may encounter little bumps in the road of life.  But no worries…because we can change the way we view those bumps and make them speed bumps!  Use them for our advantage!

Don’t fear the bumps in the road…enjoy them when they arrive…yell “WaHOOO” and keep going!

xo