Tag Archive | abuse

Looking for a New Normal…Continued…

Welcome to A New Normal and Loving Yourself!

Welcome to A New Normal and Loving Yourself!

When disaster strikes, be it a hurricane, tornado, tsunami, job loss, illness, addiction, depression, accident, disfigurement, death, divorce…the aftermath is always about finding a new normal.  That’s it in a nutshell as they say.  You need to find a new normal and keep living ~ taking baby steps forward in life.  And I don’t say it’s easy to do because I wouldn’t lie to you, but I will tell you that it is do-able because there are people who have done it before you…and there will be those who will come after you who will triumph as well.

Right now, it’s you who I’m thinking of…you, who in this changing world, has to change as well whether you want to or not, whether you like it or not, because it’s required in order to continue to live.

They say water finds it own level…so like water, you will find your own level, your new normal…but it takes practice, it takes courage, it takes trust and endurance.  Sometimes it takes asking for and being open to receiving help ~ having a hand to hold as you endure this journey of life.  We are all connected here…if you look long enough and not give up, you’ll find a trust-worthy person to help you.  But you must be willing to help yourself…you must take that first step…and watch out my dears…it’s a LULU!  It’s going to change your life for the better! 🙂

Because once you’ve taken that first decided step towards helping yourself, whatever the situation is, you open yourself up for change to occur.  Most people shy away from change, if not run like hell from it.  It’s most likely human nature as the unknown strikes fear in many of us.  However, that’s when the most growth occurs and when that golden ring that you’ve been reaching for, finally comes into grasp!  It’s taking that chance into the unknown that leads to the next step for the better!

The key to all of it ~ the absolute key to making the new normal easier to live,

to accept and to transition to ~ is one simple ingredient.

Love yourself.

Whew…right?  You thought it was going to be hard.  But love yourself…heck that’s easy, isn’t it?  Perhaps you’re thinking that I”m off my rocker…well, you might be right 🙂  but certainly, if you take a moment, quietly, calmly when you have a few minutes to yourself with no distractions…slowly, repeat aloud in a mirror to yourself, “I love you” 3 times and notice how it makes you feel.

How do you feel?  In the depths of your soul, how did stating, “I LOVE YOU” to yourself make you feel?

Truly, I hope that it made you feel elated, that you hugged yourself and smiled.  I hope that repeating that powerful statement gave you a warm fuzzy feeling right down to your core!  I hope that you feel comfortable saying it and that you can repeat it 3 times a day everyday!  Because as Robert Schuller of the Crystal Cathedral used to say, “God loves you and so do I.”

On the flip side, if saying “I love you,” aloud to yourself made you feel anything else, then we have some work to do so that you can embrace the new normal!  You think that you love yourself, but when you have to actually say it in a mirror and watch your face as you repeat this powerful statement, sometimes uncomfortable feelings come up.  For me, I know that I shy away from saying it to myself because I feel unworthy, I don’t feel like I’m enough and I feel uncomfortable, like I’m being selfish or egotistical.  It’s distracting to hear myself say those words and yet, I say and mean them all the time to my family and friends.  But loving myself ~ well, that’s been a tough one for me.  What’s helped me is an author whom I’ve talked about before named Louise Hay.  Below is Louise Hay’s Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workbook.  A simple, no nonsense way of doing just that ~ healing your life ~ Louise gives step by step exercises which are easy to understand, for anyone needing a new normal ~ for those who want a new chapter in their lives ~ and for you who wants a brighter day!

Just Love Yourself…and if you don’t know how…then pick up Louise’s book for yourself!
Make it your own holiday gift ~ it’s a keeper ~ a life changer ~ and you deserve it!

Click on the picture to read all about it!

What about you?  How do you feel about yourself?  Do you love you?

Let’s start there!

Shine On!

xo

Shining Soul

Pick a star up in the sky and pretend that star is me.

Shining bright with love for you, so all the world can see…

Yesterday I told you a bit about my life and how it feels to be a woman without breasts because they were taken due to breast cancer.  This is my 3rd foray into trying to have breasts again and I am blessed to have found such an amazing doctor who has changed my life with her dedication to women who have endured more than their share of heartache, pain and emotional/physical anguish.

I will honestly tell you that the road to the ‘new normal’ after having breast cancer and multiple surgeries (10th breast cancer related surgery scheduled for December, but #14 in my life) with one more for 2013, is not an easy road to endure.  It’s a road full of pot holes, disappointments, pain and yet triumph as well.  It’s a road that is best when shared with others ~ easier to share with those of us who have traveled it or are traveling it with you.  It’s not for the faint of heart although I am still known to faint at the sight of a needle even after all of the needles I’ve endured over the years.

It’s no different than life for everyone else for we are all on this journey together.  None of us escape heartache, pain and sorrow.  Perhaps you’ve not had breast cancer, but you’ve been shouldering an illness, abuse, depression, a different type of cancer or some other difficulty.  It may not be the same, but the choice is ~ you can endure it and keep taking baby steps forward or you can allow it to rule your life and not move forward.

It’s your choice my friends.  What I’ve learned though is that it’s a choice that I make everyday. 

I can choose to allow my situation bring me down and epitomize the victim role/attitude by feeling sorry for myself, by crawling inside and not taking the helping hands which are offered to me.  Or I can choose to rise from it and shine like a star!  I can use my experiences (there are many beyond breast cancer but that’s for another day) to help others, to be kind, to be understanding, to have patience…to help, to support and to guide by what I know and have gleamed from my own life.

Learning to love your own body is a lesson we all need to learn, breast cancer or not! 

Learning to love yourself for me is a life-long process.

As I thought about my post yesterday, I realized that I have old tapes playing in my head of not being enough and perhaps that’s why I’ve been having such a terrible time lately ~ and perhaps that’s why Dr. Phil and Oprah’s magazine struck such a chord in me yesterday.  My inner voice, you know, that inner strength broke free yesterday from the bonds that I’d imposed on it.  Today I feel freer, I feel more like the girl I love to be ~ the one that may give you TMI (Too Much Information), but will do so willingly if it helps even one other person because that’s my goal here on my blog.

If I can touch just one of you, help one other person to feel that they are not alone, that yes, I have experienced the same as you and I am still here…inspire you to keep taking baby steps…then I feel like I am living according to my divine purpose.  Because that’s why we are all here ~ to help each other on this journey of life.  Helping hands can be found everywhere.  We all have a story to tell…it’s up to you how you write your story!

Breasts or not, I am still a woman who can say she is blessed to have seen the darkness of life and has chosen to search for the light and found it! 

You can’t appreciate the stars if you’ve never endured the darkness! 

Shine on my friends!  Shine on!

xo