Heart and Soul

If you’ve been with me for awhile, you know I have written about the many life experiences I’ve had in order to connect with others. Making connections and helping others has always been the key to my writings. Well, that and talking about heartlights shining which at this point, I find even more curious since my heartlight is due for a shiny upgrade.

Being a breast cancer survivor, (now at the 20 year mark!), I thought that it would be smooth sailing from here on out. Apparently, my soul had signed up for a few more life experiences at earth school that I wasn’t aware I needed. So here I am, asking for your help, your prayers and your good thoughts, because open heart surgery is next on my schedule.

I know, shocking, right? It was to me, too. My entire life I’d known I had a heart murmur, low blood pressure and I would describe myself as a fainter (not often, but enough to not surprise myself that I faint at the sight of a needle etc.). It was my normal. However, it wasn’t normal. It was due to a genetically deformed aortic valve that I was born with – a bicuspid instead of a tricuspid valve that received more damage over the years by chemotherapy, radiation – and needs to be replaced now.

I’m not your typical heart patient. There are a multitude of complications to navigate for the cardiologists and luckily, they are prepping their strategies with the help from my previous doctors for hopefully the best outcome – a renewed heart.

So there it is – my latest news. I’ll admit that as the date gets closer, I get a bit more nervous. I’ve danced with the ‘what if I don’t make it’ through the surgery. I’ve battled the ‘I don’t want to have the surgery’ and I’ll take my chances. I’ve curled up in a ball and cried myself to sleep, feeling sorry for myself. I’ve had every emotion imaginable and ended up here.

Interestingly, here is where I am processing the letting go of fear. There’s something amazingly freeing at this point in my life to know that there’s a chance I will not make it through the surgery. It makes the last few days before it more meaningful, more urgent to share the truth of how I feel, most important to tell those whom I love and appreciate, how much they mean to me. I have nothing to lose.

Whether or not I make it through, I love that I am unafraid to speak my truth, finally…interestingly how the soul knows and I do not question life school anymore. I wanted to share this with you because you have all been on this blog journey with me over the years and I have appreciated your loving support, your help and your friendship. My life has been richer because of our connections. You have my sincerest love and gratitude for being you!

Keep shining your heartlights! I’ll be looking for them!

Shine On!

xo

18 thoughts on “Heart and Soul

    • Thank you Princess Rosebud! I have loved every minute of our journey and look forward to more happy days of friendship no matter what coast we’re on! xo

  1. Oh Yvonne, I am sending prayers up for you and sending warm thoughts, hugs, and love your way! One thing I am sure of is that God will be holding you throughout all of this. Thanks for sharing this with us.

  2. My prayers and positive loving thoughtsare with you now and will continue till I hear you are healing and stronger than ever!! Much love, dearest Yvonne!

  3. Yvonne, such a shock for someone so young…especially in your heart ❤️. And I have no doubt the many things going through your mind in such a journey. Well, I am here…and with you there, as you go through it all. My love, light and as much energy as I can share with you shall be sent to you. No carrier pigeons here, all by heart light my friend to share it all. Big, big hugs my friend, you got this, and to make sure I’ll have a lovely horse and a pair of rabbits waiting in your yard when you come back home to share in a welcome recovery. Take care dear lady, with you in heart and mind 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

  4. Sending love, light, and healing to you Yvonne. It’s never easy to face these difficult challenges in life and to remember you are never alone. May you feel peace through it all.
    Much love 💕 🤗

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