I guess I’m on a theme considering yesterday’s post. But as I told my friends, when you have chances to visit with your elderly parents and loved ones, stop and take photos and videos of them. Having my father pass away years ago and not having a lot of videos of him nor voice recordings, it’s one of my regrets. Sure, I have photos, but not many as we were all in the moment most of the time and didn’t take pictures. Having learned this lesson the hard way, I now take more photos and videos and with the cell phones, it’s so easy to do! I just thought I’d suggest this to you. Honestly, this goes for all family members though as we have no guarantees for tomorrow!
Calling more often is a great way to stay in touch and to know that they are ok. If you haven’t started this already, I suggest you begin slowly to make your calls more frequently so as not to surprise them with vigilant calling (unless it’s necessary). You don’t want to make them think you are hounding them! LOL But it’s nice to reach out more often to your parents and other elderly relatives, isn’t it? Getting older can be a lonely time for them. Put some silly stories or anecdotes on a card by the phone so that when you call, you can keep the conversation flowing if you find that it gets quiet.
Sometimes parents or elderly loved ones don’t want to be a burden to their children/next generation so they hide the ugly parts so as not to worry you. Be aware of the whole scenario at home. Notice the relationship between your parents as frustration levels can surge as they get older. Check the refrigerator to make sure that they are eating properly and look around to see if bills are piling up, if the place is clean, the heat is on, the water working etc. Be attentive and be kind. Old age ain’t for sissies and it’s hard to get older and begin to decline. Nobody looks forward to this stage so please, be patient, be understanding and be careful with your words/actions. Don’t criticize. Help them if needed.
Not losing our patience with loved ones, especially our parents can be challenging, especially if they are living with us. But that’s a subject for a different post.
Whatever you do, shine your heartlight and be aware of the love you give out and receive. It’s there. Sometimes you just have to put yourself in someone else’s shoes to experience it.
“not losing our patience with loved ones, especially our parents can be challenging…” to say the least. Having had a stubborn mother until the day she died, and wondering how on earth my brother didn’t go crazy as he cared for her, I can identify.
Thanks for sharing these words of advice.
Yes, my sisters and I are currently in that muck. Our parents are 86 & 87 and fiercely independent. They are getting by, but with struggles. They resent any attempt to get them to move, so we have decided to support them and stand by to pick up the pieces when something goes bad. It’s what they want and allows us to have a non-confrontational relationship. There are several ways to approach these situations, but that was our choice.
My parents have been gone for a long time. My Dad died when I was 16 and my Mother when I was 30 . But I like this post because I have had Aunts and Uncles that this applied to. One thing I wish I had done more of was to get one of my Aunts to talk more about her fascinating life and times. I know quite a bit about it but not as much as I would like to.
Thank you KC! ♥
Yvonne , Valuable post.
One way possible way to avoid the turmoil that you speak of and still gain what is sought, which is the welfare of elderly parents, is to find the method of making it seem like it is their idea. That way a sense of independence, a frightening thing to lose, is in some manner maintained.
Great thinking Alan! I have done this too and it helped immensely! 🙂