How To Stop Being a “Fixer”


It is truly time to allow, to let go and to find a way to not fix it all. I was/am? a person who liked to be in control. Not demanding mind you, (at least I didn’t think I was), but I liked to know the plan and execute it. We may sound similar if you are reading this post. But I have learned that through this journey, I’ve had to let go and it is still hard for me to do. But in letting go, I’ve opened up to an abundance of awareness, growth, love, friendship, connections with others and had an incredible soul journey that would not have been available to me had I stayed in the control, fix it place. Because, what hit me was the line, ‘who died and left you boss? You are not God,’ which I hope does not offend you, but perhaps gives you the added boost to see from an observer mode instead of the path ahead (that we had planned so carefully) that has literally fallen to pieces.

I see the path ahead now, strewn with debris and sometimes avalanches of emotion, hurt, betrayal and sadness. But there is still a path and as I take baby steps forward, I can clear the debris, learn from the experiences and keep moving on. I’ve found that there are others on this path that help me as I help you and as you help me to move forward.  And then also to rest when needed.

I’m not asking you to give up control or to stop fixing…I’m only asking you to accept what is unacceptable as part of the journey of life and to find peace in your heart to welcome the lessons as they will make you stronger in body/mind/soul. It’s a great leap of faith that is your opportunity here. I’m not saying that you need to find God as I don’t even know how you feel about religion.  I believe in God, Divinity and the Universe.  I am comfortable in being spiritual and using what I learn by reading, by communicating and by connecting with others and I find that I am making my own way, picking and choosing what feels right to me at that time ~ and sometimes choosing again when it’s not serving me. That’s the beauty of life.

Many of us come to this life with the idea that everything should be hunky dory because we’ve worked so hard to make it be as such. We strive for the even keel and smooth sailing, but storms arise, even in nature and we must accept that piece in order to find peace. There comes a time in life when we need to grow, to expand our horizons, to search for our next level of understanding in life.

Fix yourself is the first lesson.  Take care of you ~ nuture yourself, grow in your understanding, be patient with yourself and others, read, meditate and allow.  Allowing yourself 5 minutes of silence in which to simply breathe and focus in the morning and at night helps.  You are in charge of you.  You are not in control of anyone else on the fixing level.  Every single person has free will and can choose how they live their life.  You are not God.  Allow Him to do His job and you will see how amazing life can be!

Shine On!


31 thoughts on “How To Stop Being a “Fixer”

  1. Yvonne,
    Insightful post. Let go and let God.

    When Pilate told Christ: “Don’t you know that I have the power to set you free or to crucify you?” Christ responded: “You would not have that power if had not been given to you from above.”

    The burdens of life carry less weight when we know that their is another shoulder beneath our cross besides ours.

  2. Pingback: My Article Read (2-15-2016) – My Daily Musing

  3. Thank your sharing your insights Yvonne. You are right. We are not the CEO of the Universe! When we accept that, it’s the beginning of a whole new way of being. 💕

  4. What can I say except, I wish I’d have had a friend like you years and years ago! This is a timely and necessary ‘warning’ Yvonne…and for any and all who suffer the consequences of the stresses of not being able to control what we feel we must control. Words to live by right here, shone brightly as always, by you for the good of all of us. Thank you Yvonne…xoxo

    • Rhonda, lessons I have learned on my own with lots of help from friends along the way. Just sharing what we all really know in our hearts but have a tough time telling our brains. Big heartfelt hugs to you Rhonda as always xoxo

  5. Yvonne its hard to let it all go and just see where it takes us. Im a planner and try to control many things in my life. Learning slowly that sometimes its best to just go with the flow and not against it. By the time Im eighty I might have it conquered Ha!

  6. I learned the hard way that helping isn’t always helping. Sometimes we think we are doing a good thing, when in reality, we are interfering with someone’s path. It was a tough lesson but I learned it well. It also taught me not to judge how someone else was living their life. You have said it quite well here and sorry I’m so late getting here. I saved this post to read later, and later has finally arrived. I am certainly not wise enough to fix anyone’s life. Still working on my own hot mess. I may know what I’d like to see them doing but it’s just not my call. I had the audacity to think it was years ago. You know the phrase, “too soon old, too late smart”. Fits to a tee. 🙂 Great subject and how you addressed it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s